Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [to Crunk] Never give a sucker an even break and always keep an eye on your pals.

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Now watch this.

[rolls dice]

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Seven.

Captain Veronica Steadman: How do you do it?

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Influence. You bring me the right people, I'll get you that hundred thousand.

Captain Veronica Steadman: But it's gambling!

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Not the way I do it.

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: You don't belong with a grifter like me. You just got some mud on your dress, that's all. Give it time, let it dry. It'll brush off.

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Never Give a sucker an even break. But don't cheat a friend. I believe in that, I live by it. You don't think I'd play phony with you, well, you lost.

Captain Veronica Steadman: Oh but I didn't know the rules of the game.

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [Calling to handyman after slot machine pays off] Hey, Blubber! Fix this thing!

Blubber: Something wrong, boss?

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: It pays!

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [to Dorothy] You bring me the right people; I'll get you that hundred thousand.

Dorothy Bryant: But it's gambling!

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [smiling] Not the way I do it.

Mr. Bryant: [angrily to Joe] Get out of here! Get out of here! Get your greasy black head out of here!

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: You don't mind if I double-cross myself, do you?

Hard Swede: [as Joe enters the car] Where did you get hat butt?

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [Smoking with an abdominal bullet wound] Well, i promoted it off a guy.

Hard Swede: One cough out of you, and you'll fill this seat with oatmeal.

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Well, now this is quite a surprise!

Dorothy Bryant: Not particularly. It so happens I rather expected it. And if you think your persistence is going to have any effect on me, you're mistaken.

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Well, I can't see how you people can pass up $80,000 for the cause.

Dorothy Bryant: For whose cause? If you're so interested in serving your cause, why don't you join the Army?

Blood Bank Nurse: Next, please!

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Oh...

[produces draft card]

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: 4F.

Dorothy Bryant: You look 1A to me.

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Hey, you don't look too bad yourself!

[He chuckle, she stares, he lets out awkward groan]

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Well, it's my arteries.

Blood Bank Nurse: Right this way...

Dorothy Bryant: Well, should you be giving blood?

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Oh, well... my blood's 1A, just my arteries are 4F.

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: [as they're waiting in line to donate blood] Here I am giving my life's blood, and she don't trust my motives.

Dorothy Bryant: The person who gets your life's blood will probably develop a sudden passion for the "dump" shot.

Joe Adams aka Joe Bascopolous: Yeah, and the poor soldier that gets *your* blood, they can use him for an ice cube!