- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: [Sach and Slip inside an ice cream parlor noticing a crowd gathering around someone out in the street] Looks more like somebody's trying to incite a riot.
- 'Sach' Jones: What do you mean inside? The guys outside.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: [Slip turns to Sach] Whoever said "Ignorance is bliss" must have been talking to you first.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: [hawking a stain remover] I have here the most contemptible invention ever deceived by the mind of obscure Man. It is the most scientrificly and gastly... gastric, gast, uh, gast... I tell you what I'm gonna do.
- Bobby: You better do SOMETHIN' or I can tell you what this crowd is gonna do.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: Step back, boy, and let the alley cats through.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: I can see it all now: "Slip Mahoney, the woman's home companion." Housewives all over the country will put me up on a pedestrian.
- [Slip turns on the radio to drown out Mary's complaints]
- Mary Mahoney: Stop that noise! How can anyone talk with all that racket?
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: You ain't doin' bad!
- Mary Mahoney: Kind of a jam are you in now?
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: There you go. Always ready to think the worst. You're nothin' but a pacifist.
- Mary Mahoney: You mean pessimist.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: I was usin' the past tense.
- Mary Mahoney: What's the twentieth century problem child cooked up now?
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: Mary, I just made the best investment of my life. This is gigantic. it's-it's colossal. I might even say it's mediocre.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: Do you wanna know somethin'? After a few days of sellin' this stuff, our families will see us as we really are.
- 'Sach' Jones: Certainly, on visitors' day.
- Mabel: [checking out the menu at the High Hat Club] Gee, the prices!
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: Don't worry about dat. Money is no objection.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: Well, for your edification, laughin' boy, this Patsy Clark may be a gun moll. It's just possible that some of the slot machine operators or bookies in town may know where she hangs out, so I'm gonna make a long list of names and pursue them in order, what you call a process of illumination.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: [home early from work] I just decided that deliverin' flowers was no job for a guy with brains, so I quit.
- Mary Mahoney: You quit. Who did you hit THIS time?
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: [objecting, but she knows him too well] What makes you think... Nobody important.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: S'not your type. Better be a little more elaborate about choosing your friends.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: [riding along] I don't wanna sound depreciative, but, uh, I know a few tricks of my own.
- Jeanette: [behind the wheel] This is so sudden.
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: And safe.
- Jeanette: Safe?
- Terrence 'Slip' Mahoney: Certainly. Heretofore, the guy would drive along, one arm on the wheel and one on the girl, subsequently running up a telephone pole and killin' everybody in the car, besides gettin' a traffic ticke,; but with this new and approved method passed by the city council, a guy lets a doll do the drivin' and leavin' himself two perfectly free arms to attend to the impertinent business at hand.