Lover Come Back (1961)

Tony Randall: Peter 'Pete' Ramsey

Photos 

Quotes 

• Jerry Webster : [Jerry's boss - and friend - Pete - is making him ring Carol Templeton to apologise - and hopefully have her withdraw her complaint to the Advertising Council]  Carol Templeton, please, Jerry Webster calling.

  [Speaking to the operator] 

  Jerry Webster : Ramsey & Son.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Assure her of our high moral character

  Carol Templeton : [Split-screen, à la Pillow Talk]  Yes, Mr. Webster?

  Jerry Webster : Mr. Ramsey, here, tells me that you spoke to him, and I'd like to,ask you a favour; will you kindly keep,your big, fat nose out of my business?

  [Pete starts getting furious, yelling in a strangled voice 'no, no,' at Jerry, who ignores him] 

  Jerry Webster : If the competition's too tough, get out of the advertising profession.

  [Pete's got his hands in his face] 

  Carol Templeton : YOU aren't even IN the advertising profession, and if I weren't a lady, I'd tell you what profession you ARE in.

  Jerry Webster : Tell me, anyway

  Carol Templeton : [Thinking she's got the upper-hand, tries to talk 'down' to Jerry]  Well, let me put it this way; I don't use sex to land an account.

  Jerry Webster : When do you use it

  Carol Templeton : I don't.

  Jerry Webster : My condolences to your husband

  Carol Templeton : [Carol's eyes narrow, and she's seething with anger as she speaks]  I'm NOT married.

  Jerry Webster : That figures.

  Carol Templeton : What, what do you mean, 'that figures'?

  Jerry Webster : Well, a husband would be competition. There's only room for one man in the family.

  Carol Templeton : [Carol's steaming, and trying to stay calm]  Oooh! Let me tell,you,something, Mr. Webster; I wish I were a man, right now,

  Jerry Webster : [Goading Carol]  Keep trying, I think you'll make it.

  [Carole looks at the phone's receiver, and hangs it up, forcefully] 

• Jerry Webster : Your trouble is that you're still living in the shadow of your father. You're even afraid to get rid of his old car.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : You don't realize how completely he dominated me ever since I was a little boy. Just once I spoke back to him. He cut a switch from a tree and gave me such a whipping, in front of this girl. It was a shattering experience.

  Jerry Webster : Pete, all kids get whippings.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : But I was twenty five, the girl was my fiancé.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Congratulate me, boy. I've saved the day! I've been working with my lawyers and we've come up with an ironclad document that will hold up in any court. This solves everything.

  Jerry Webster : Great. What is it?

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : A full and complete confession. Sign.

  Jerry Webster : Are you kidding? I could go to jail for five years.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : No. That's covered in here. We make a deal with the judge. Two years. Sign.

  [Puts pen in Jerry's hand] 

  Jerry Webster : Forget it.

  [throws pen down] 

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Two years! It's like being drafted. Think of me as your commander in chief. Greetings from the president. Sign.

  [puts pen back in Jerry's hand and tries to manipulate it to force a signature] 

  Hadley : I couldn't find Dr. Tyler anywhere. The guy has disappeared.

  Jerry Webster : That tears it!

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Hadley?

  [Opens window] 

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Step over to the window.

  Hadley : Mr. Ramsey I told you. I am not going to jump!

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : You don't have to jump. I'll trip you. Huh? Double indemnity. Your wife will be loaded. Kids'll go to college. Right? Come on, boy! Run!

  [holds up his leg in front of the window] 

  Jerry Webster : Pete, knock it off!

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : [Spoken to Jerry and Hadley]  I'm surrounded by traitors!

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : And as dad always said, "A man who can't be bribed can't be trusted."

  Jerry Webster : Isn't it comforting to know that you can trust me?

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Don't sneer. Wealthy people are hated and resented. Look what's written on the Statue of Liberty. Does it say, "Send me your rich?" No, it says, "Send me your poor." We're not even welcome in our own country.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : I told you sex would get you in nothing but trouble.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : This'll be the biggest scandal that hit Madison Avenue. The agency's through. We're ruined. There's only one way out; suicide.

  Jerry Webster : All right... All right...

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : We'll get Hadley to commit suicide, and we pin the blame on him.

  Jerry Webster : You may have a little trouble selling that idea to Hadley.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : He wouldn't dare refuse. His job depends on it.

• Jerry Webster : You haven't been in the office for two months. And that's in the best interest of Ramsey and Son.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : I have a very good reason for not going into the office. It depresses the employees.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : I discussed it with my analyst, Dr. Melnick. He understands it. He says I depress him too.

  Jerry Webster : Yeah, well he's only human.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : You know, everyone should go through analysis.

  Jerry Webster : Not everyone can afford it, Pete.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : That's the tragedy of it. Look at these poor people. They go through life contented, happy, laughing. Never knowing how sick they are.

• Jerry Webster : Pete, you are pioneering a method that'll make you a legend on Madison Avenue.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : It will?

  Jerry Webster : The most convincing demonstration of the power of advertising ever conceived. You have sold a product that doesn't exist.

• Dr. Melnick : What are you doing up there, Peter?

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : I'm the king of the elevator.

• Jerry Webster : [Pete blows a bull horn]  What's that?

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : The mating call of the moose.

  [Pete blows the bull horn again] 

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : This call is absolutely irresistible. Your bull moose will run for twenty miles, he will crash through any barrier to get to the source of this call.

  [Blows horn, yet again] 

  Jerry Webster : And what happens if he gets there?

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : I take his picture

  Jerry Webster : Pete, he's not running twenty miles to get photographed. Now I suggest you stop blowing that horn.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : You're one of the lucky ones. You were born in the slums.

  Jerry Webster : That's lucky?

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Of course it is. You had everything going for you. Poverty. Squalor. There was only one way for you to go - up.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : But I started at the top. I've done it the hard way.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Are you taking Mr. Webster with you?

  Wallace, Liquor Industry Representative : No, he's going to San Francisco.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : San Francisco?... Alcatraz!

• Jerry Webster : Oh, Pete, I'll be leaving tonight.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : We'll miss you, boy.

  Jerry Webster , Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : I'm taking Kelly with me.

  [His secretary] 

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Huh. If anybody can do it, you can.

  [Pete thinks he's going to Alcatraz prison] 

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Harrison, give him a fat lip.

  Taxicab Driver : OK, so park there.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Well, you should feel sorry for me. You don't know what a handicap it is to be born rich.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : And as president, I have a right to know what's been going on since I've taken over.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : We're in trouble, aren't we?

  Jerry Webster : I can handle it.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Now, see here. Instead of just being head of the agency, I have a right to know. Are we in trouble?

  Jerry Webster : Yes, we're in trouble.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : You shouldn't have told me.

• Hadley : Well, with a new product, Mr. Webster usually starts off with a saturation campaign on television - you know, get the ball rolling.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Let's forget about Mr. Webster, shall we? I'm rolling this ball.

  Hadley : Yes sir.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : We'll start off with a saturation campaign on television.

  Hadley : Yes sir. Right away.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : That's not the way it's done. You're supposed to have a product first. Then go out and sell it.

• Doctor Linus Tyler : I think you've had enough.

  Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Don't worry about me. I can hold my candy.

• Peter 'Pete' Ramsey : Dr. Tyler... where have you been?

  Doctor Linus Tyler : In the subway. They couldn't change a thousand dollar bill.