The Road to Hong Kong (1962)
Bing Crosby: Harry Turner
Photos
Quotes
-
Harry Turner : Chester, I give you my SOLEMN word. THIS time it's not dangerous.
Chester Babcock : Not dangerous?
Harry Turner : No.
Chester Babcock : That's what 'cha said when you shot me out of a cannon, when you dropped me in a tank with an octopus, when you had me wrestle a gorilla. It's not dangerous! I'm not goin'. I'm through. I've had it. So forget it, *Charly*!
-
Harry Turner : [hands Chester a hand mirror] Who's that?
Chester Babcock : [seeing his reflection] I don't know, but gimme a stick and I'll kill it.
-
Chester Babcock : Why do you suppose they're sending *us* up?
Harry Turner : They wanna find out if it's gonna be safe for the apes.
Chester Babcock : Oh.
-
Chester Babcock : [espying Dean Martin and Frank Sinatra] The Italians have landed!
Harry Turner : That's the grape and the twig, isn't is?
Chester Babcock : Yeah, and they got the bar open.
Harry Turner : Let's break it up.
Chester Babcock : Those tourists.
-
Harry Turner : An hour ago she flipped over me. I don't dig it.
Chester Babcock : Well, that's understandable. An impressionable young thing falls for an elderly fellow. She probably thought you were a father figure.
Harry Turner : Father figure?
Chester Babcock : Yes, then she took another look and found out you had your father's figure.
-
Diane : There must be some sensible solution to this problem.
Harry Turner : Well, of course there is. Two fellas, one girl. Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, you come to my house.
Chester Babcock : Yeah. Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, my house.
Diane : What about Sunday?
Chester Babcock : Everbody rests.
-
Harry Turner : Well, don't get sore at me. It's just a plot point.
-
Harry Turner : Don't I always get you the best medical attention available?
Chester Babcock : Yeah, like that doctor you got me in Bombay last month.
Harry Turner : How was I going to know he was an elephant doctor?
Chester Babcock : You should have known by the size of his thermometer.
Harry Turner : Yes, was a bit large.
Chester Babcock : When he shook it, I was still on it.
-
Harry Turner : Happy landings, buster!
Chester Babcock : I don't know what you're so happy about. You're not mentioned in my will.
-
Indian Neurologist : [examining Chester] Ugh!
Harry Turner : What is it, Doctor?
Indian Neurologist : Terrible heartburn. Oh, dear, put too much curry in my corn flakes, you understand.
-
Harry Turner : You got a mind like a sponge.
Chester Babcock : Yeah, don't get any ideas about squeezing it, either.
-
Diane : Are you sure you're not pulling my leg?
Harry Turner : Business first, fun and games later, mm?
-
Harry Turner : [gazing out an airplane window] There she lies, Chester - Hong Kong.
Chester Babcock : Yeah, what a monument to fried rice.
-
Chester Babcock : Hey, we're UNDER water! That's the ocean!
Harry Turner : So?
Chester Babcock : So? We spring a little leak, we'll drown.
Harry Turner : Well, you don't have to worry. You got a built-in snorkel.
-
Chester Babcock : [seeing a shark outside the porthole] Looks like he just ate Lloyd Bridges.
Harry Turner : Don't worry. They don't eat people.
Chester Babcock : How about actors.
Harry Turner : We're safe.
-
Harry Turner : Chester, search your secret soul. Ask your patriotic conscience what to do.
Chester Babcock : I already did.
Harry Turner : What'd it say?
Chester Babcock : "Yankee, go home."
-
Harry Turner : How do we get out of here?
Diane : The submarine. I can handle it.
Chester Babcock : I know. I read the script.
-
Harry Turner : Those guys mean business. They're killers, murders.
Chester Babcock : Besides that, they're unfriendly.