- The Rumpo Kid: I once talked peace with a Sioux, but you can't trust them. One moment it was peace on, the next it was peace off.
- The Rumpo Kid: [addressing the Indian chief] How! Me-um heap big paleface chief from-um Stodge City. Me-um salute-um big chief. Me-um want-um pow-wow.
- Big Heap: [speaking perfect English] I say, you do talk funny. You must be foreigners.
- [first lines]
- The Rumpo Kid: [after shooting three men dead that he encounters] I wonder what they wanted?
- The Rumpo Kid: What's the matter? What have I done wrong?
- Albert Earp: You just killed three men, mister.
- The Rumpo Kid: I know that, but what have I done wrong?
- Commissioner: Send him a marshal. Anything for peace.
- Perkins: That's just the trouble, sir. We haven't any available.
- Commissioner: Nobody? What about that big head who's always hanging around here looking for work? What's his name? Dillon. What's he doing?
- Perkins: Six months.
- Sam: I never did get to know exactly what she'd done that was so wrong.
- Judge Burke: Old Ben was a friend of mine Sam, and she killed him.
- Doc: It was his own fault. He was ninety-two. I warned him not to marry her!
- Big Heap: This is my squaw, Kitikata. I bought her for two buffalo skins.
- Charlie: How.
- The Rumpo Kid: Never mind how, where!
- Belle Armitage: [admiring his gun] My, but you got a big one!
- The Rumpo Kid: I'm from Texas, ma'am. We all got big ones down there.
- Perkins: It's another telegram from Stodge City, sir. Judge Burke. He's the mayor there, you know.
- Commissioner: Burke? Oh yeah, I remember him in law school. He's a bum.
- Perkins: I didn't know you studied at law school, sir.
- Commissioner: I didn't. I was the janitor.
- Belle Armitage: [referring to Annie Oakley] But Johnny, she's no good! Take it from me, she's after something.
- The Rumpo Kid: Take it from me, if you get out of the way she's gonna get it!
- Belle Armitage: But Johnny, have you forgotten? I'm your little ding dong!
- The Rumpo Kid: I hate to have to say it, but your ding has lost its dong!
- Belle Armitage: Who are you calling an old hag?
- Annie Oakley: You are the old hag I'm calling an old hag.
- Belle Armitage: [after some fighting] Stop that, you cow-girl!
- Annie Oakley: Cow-girl? If I called you half of that, I would be right!
- [the fight resumes]