- Lin: [sarcastically, after overhearing pretentious chit-chat at a smart party] I suppose we'd better discuss Antonioni.
- Gerald Arthur Otley: Oh, no - I can't stand all that Spanish dancing.
- Imogen: How is your wife?
- Hendrickson: Oh, she's still the same sweet, gin-sodden bitch that she always was!
- [opening scene: close shot of Otley lying in bed with his landlady]
- Gerald Arthur Otley: You know, as landladies go, you are undoubtedly the most warm-hearted, generous and gracious... that I've ever owed rent to.
- Landlady: Three months is a lot to owe
- Gerald Arthur Otley: I'm expecting a cheque - I've entered this filthy limerick compettiion and I'm almost certain to win.
- Landlady: Not to mention all the things you've lifted. You're a naughty boy, d'you know that? When you moved in here, this was a *furnished* flat.
- [wide shot of room with bare floorboards, a bed, a chair, a wardrobe - and not much else]
- Landlady: Now everything's on a second-hand cart in the Portobello Road.
- Gerald Arthur Otley: I never did trust your cleaning woman.
- Landlady: And what about the damaged sink and the Confirmation medal in the gas-meter?
- Gerald Arthur Otley: Dearest one, I thought you came up here to sample my unbridled sensuality, not to take a bloody inventory.
- Landlady: You're a luxury I can't afford, love.
- [she turns and hugs him]
- Landlady: Still, come here and give us a goodbye kiss.
- Gerald Arthur Otley: Goodbye? Where are you going?
- Landlady: Oh, not me, you. You're being evicted this morning.
- Gerald Arthur Otley: I'm being evicted? After our night of passion?
- Landlady: Well I felt I had to get *something* out of you before you left.
- [having been evicted, Otley is desperate for somewhere to stay]
- Gerald Arthur Otley: Can you put us up?
- Jean: No, we can't.
- Gerald Arthur Otley: Oh, just for a couple of nights?
- Jean: No. Miles is at home and the dog's on heat.
- Gerald Arthur Otley: Well, she's got nothing to worry about from me!
- Johnston: Do you know who I am?
- Gerald Arthur Otley: I don't know anything. I don't know anything about anybody any more. I just assume somebody's slipped LSD in my Bovril and I'm on a trip.
- Johnston: I'm Johnston.
- Gerald Arthur Otley: Oh really. D'you work for ICS?
- Johnston: [casually] On and off. I'm their assassin.
- [at Rollo and Jean's party]
- Young Girl at Party: I've think Marbella's marvellous.
- Young Man at Party: [disdainfully and snobbishly] Isn't one rather liable to meet one's hairdresser?
- Gerald Arthur Otley: Strain? Last night her boss nearly blew me halfway to The Dolomites!
- Superintendent Hewitt: Well, I expect he had his reasons, sir.
- Gerald Arthur Otley: [trying to dissuade his captors from torturing him] Do what you like with my mind, just leave my precious body alone!
- Superintendent Hewitt: Good day for the match!
- Gerald Arthur Otley: The match?
- Superintendent Hewitt: Chelsea. Playing at home.
- Gerald Arthur Otley: Oh, yes. I wish I could be there.
- [two old ladies are walking past the health farm]
- Old Lady at Health Farm: You know, dear, I always thought that colonic irrigation was something to do with agriculture.