[repeated line]

Nancy Oleson: YOU HATE ME!

Laura: I hate that Nellie Oleson!

Caroline: Laura! Don't say "hate" - don't even think "hate"! I'm sure Nellie has her good qualities somewhere.

Charles: Your ma's right, half-pint. Now on the way home, we'll try and think of some!

Nellie Oleson: Half the time, you don't even SMELL like a girl! You're either sweaty, or you stink of fish!

Laura: Well... I sweat a lot and I fish a lot!

Mrs. Oleson: If God wanted me to talk with my hands, he wouldn't have given me a mouth.

Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [looks toward the camera very seriously] I guess even God can make mistakes!

Mrs. Oleson: [to her husband, who holds a shotgun, when they catch daughter Nellie with her new husband] Nels - make her a WIDOW!

Laura: I wanted to clean the blackboards extra good today, to make up for being late.

Mary Ingalls Kendall: And talking in class?

Laura: I was NOT talking!

Mary Ingalls Kendall: You were, too!

Laura: Was NOT! Nellie was TALKING and I was ANSWERING.

Mrs. Oleson: [after an argument] Mrs. Ingalls, we will not be requiring any more eggs in the immediate future.

Caroline: Mrs. Oleson, the hens will be RELIEVED to hear that!

Mrs. Oleson: Nels, are you going to miss me?

Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [mutters] Like a crutch.

Mrs. Oleson: What did you say?

Nelson "Nels" Oleson: I said, "very much."

Laura: You know something, Mary...?

Mary Ingalls Kendall: No, what?

Laura: Life sure is a lot easier when you don't like boys!

Mrs. Oleson: My back is killing me again...

[in the presence of Mrs. Ingalls]

Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [doing inventory on his shoes] ... and again, and again...

Mrs. Oleson: What did you say?

Nelson "Nels" Oleson: I'm just counting these shoe sizes dear. And a ten and a ten, four sizes.

Mrs. Oleson: You disgraced me in front of the town.

Reverend Robert Alden: [trying to heal their broken marriage] Please - there must be forgiveness!

Nelson "Nels" Oleson: Don't talk to me about forgiveness 'til you lived with a woman like that!

Mrs. Oleson: tssskkk

[both of them leave the church]

[repeated line]

Mrs. Oleson: Oh, for HEAVEN'S sakes!

Laura: Why don't you give like the rest of the children?

Nellie Oleson: My mother say's we're not like the rest of the children!

Laura: I suppose she's right.

Alice Garvey: Sometimes I wonder how Harriet Oleson has managed to stay alive for as long as she has!

Albert Quinn Ingalls: Ma, please don't tell me I'm too young to know how I feel!

Caroline: I wasn't going to tell you that, and don't ever raise your voice to me while you live in this house.

Nelson "Nels" Oleson: [to Mrs. Oleson] You should be locked up in a cage and fed with a stick; you have made life miserable for everyone.

Caroline: I'll be working for Nellie. It's not the same.

Charles: Besides a few pounds, there's no difference.

Nellie Oleson: I'll fix her. You'll see.

[repeated line]

Laura: PA!