- [after sex]
- Judy Benjamin: Now I know what I've been faking all these years.
- Henri Tremont: That was your first?
- Judy Benjamin: And second.
- Judy Benjamin: I think they sent me to the wrong place.
- Capt. Doreen Lewis: Uh-huh.
- Judy Benjamin: See, I did join the army, but I joined a *different* army. I joined the one with the condos and the private rooms.
- Sgt. L.C. Ross: Everybody up! Everybody, Benjamin!
- Judy Benjamin: Oh God, you can't mean me. I worked the night shift! Go check out the bathroom, it's FABULOUS.
- Judy Benjamin: My husband had a heart attack and died on our wedding night, while we were making love.
- Pvt. Mary Lou Glass: Jesus! Benjamin! I don't get it, what do you do after a thing like that?
- Judy Benjamin: Join the Army!
- Mrs. Goodman: Judith. Just one thing. If you can remember. What were Yale's last words?
- Judy Benjamin: I'm coming.
- Judy Benjamin: [while she and Henri are standing at the altar] Henri, I know this is a really awkward time to do this, but I wanna break up.
- Judy Benjamin: What do you want from me? I didn't ask her to punish everybody! Do you think I like schlepping in the rain all day and all night?
- Pvt. Wanda Winter: Just keep marching, Benjamin.
- Judy Benjamin: My name is Judy! J-U-D-Y Judy and I'd like somebody to call me by my name! Oh, okay I took my life in my own hands, I made a mistake fine I'm sorry! I'll never do it again! I wanna wear my sandals... I wanna go out to lunch. I wanna be NORMAL again!
- Judy Benjamin: To be truthful with you, I can't sleep in a room with 20 strangers.
- Capt. Doreen Lewis: Oh dear.
- Judy Benjamin: And I mean look at this place. The army couldn't afford drapes? I'll be up at the crack of dawn here!
- Sgt. L.C. Ross: Beware, there are mine fields out there. Most of them are inert. However, some are ert.
- Aunt Kissy: I hope my coat's gonna be good enough. I had no idea it was gonna be so chilly.
- Harriet Benjamin: It's November here, Kissy.
- Teddy Benjamin: It's November everywhere, genius.
- Judy Benjamin: Have you seen the bathroom?
- Capt. Doreen Lewis: Do you think that the latrine... do you think that it's unsanitary?
- Judy Benjamin: It's disgusting! There are *urinals* in there!