Cannonball Run II (1984)

Dom DeLuise: Victor Prinzim, Captain Chaos, Don Canneloni

Photos 

Quotes 

• Don Canneloni : In the past, the Canneloni family was the most powerful of the families. We controlled drugs, prostitution, extortion, prostitution, gambling...

  Slim : Uh, you said 'prostitution' twice.

  Don Canneloni : Well, I like it.

• Captain Chaos : J.J... Long time, no see.

  J.J. McClure : Nice to see you, Captain Chaos.

  Captain Chaos : Have no fear, 'Him' is here.

• J.J. McClure : I need a girl.

  Victor : Yeah, me too.

  J.J. McClure : You?

  Victor : Sure. Hey, J.J., I'm not a eunuch, you know.

  J.J. McClure : Of course you're not a eunuch. Don't put yourself down like that. You have a striking resemblance to a eunuch but...

  [Both laugh] 

  J.J. McClure : Just kidding.

• Victor : [J.J. has just performed a dangerous stunt]  I figured it out. If we do this ten times a day, by the end of the year, we'll be billionaires.

  [Victor tears up a telegram] 

  J.J. McClure : What is that?

  Victor : Oh, don't worry about that. It's the Cannonball race. It's on again. A million dollars is the first prize. But don't you worry, we'll be billionaires.

  [J.J. picks up a handful of hay and stuffs it into Victor's mouth] 

  Victor : What did I say?

  J.J. McClure : You want me to do this ten times a day?

  Victor : Nine?

  [J.J. stuffs another handful of hay in his mouth] 

  Victor : What a grouch!

• J.J. McClure : What line did you say you were from?

  Betty : The Order of Imaculate Chastity.

  Victor : The Order of Imaculate Chastity? I read the bible all the time. In fact, I once read the bible that was printed on the head of a pin. That was hard. But, I've never heard of the Order of Imaculate...

  Veronica : You have to read the New Testament. In fact, it's not even the New Testament. It's the New... uh...

  Betty : New Wave.

• Don Canneloni : And now, the Rigatonis, the Tortellinis, the Fettuchinis, and even the Raviolis are bigger than we are. And why?

  Tony : High interest rates.

  Sonny : Acid rain.

  Slim : Japanese imports.

  Caesar : Uh... uh... none of the above.

  Don Canneloni : No. No. No. Youse mugs already know the answer.

  Caesar : Gee, boss, if I knew there was gonna be a test, I would've studied.

• Victor : My Aunt Millie took a vow of chastity. She had headaches *allllll* the time.

• [From the blooper reel at the end of the film] 

  Captain Chaos : The Cannonball Run is a race from Connecticut to your ass.

• Don Canneloni : [Don Canneloni is stroking a cat in his lap. Suddenly he picks up in one hand; the cat is stiff as a board]  This cat is dead. Somebody bring me a new cat.

  [one the henchman hands him another cat] 

  Don Canneloni : Ah, a tabby. Very nice.

  [lifts up the cat's tail] 

  Don Canneloni : And a male.