The Goonies (1985)
Josh Brolin: Brand
Photos
Quotes
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[Data comes flying into the house knocking over everyone]
Chunk : [saves the statue of Michaelangelo's David] Hey! I bet you guys thought I was going to drop it huh? I know you would think that from good ol' Chunk.
[Chunk places the statue on the table, but it falls off]
Brandon Walsh : You idiot!
Mikey : Oh, my god!
[Mikey runs over to pick up the statue and hold the breathalizer in his mouth]
Chunk : [examines the statue] Look, look! It's not broken. It's perfect! Ha ha!
Mikey : [sees that the statue's penis has broken off] Oh, my GOD! That's my mom's most favorite piece!
[Mikey tries to put the penis back on]
Chunk : Oh, my god.
Mouth : You wouldn't be here if it wasn't.
Mikey : Shut up, Mouth!
Brandon Walsh : Shut up, Mouth.
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Brandon Walsh : I'm gonna hit you so hard that when you wake up your clothes will be out of style!
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Chunk : Look, how's that? How's that?
Mikey : Oh, you idiot! You glued it on upside down!
Brandon Walsh : You dork! If God made it like that, you'd all be pissing in your faces!
Chunk : Looks fine to me.
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Andy : Brand... What happened to your braces?
Brandon Walsh : Braces? I don't wear braces, Mikey wears bra... Mikey! That little...
Andy : Shhh!
[Andy kisses Brand again]
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Brandon Walsh : [Rosalita screaming in spanish] What's she saying Mouth? Translate.
Mouth : No pen. No write. No sign!
Mikey : No, Dad. Don't sign it!
[Rosalita runs over to Mrs Walsh and pulls out her hand and empties Mikey's marble bag]
Mikey : Dad! Dad! It's my marble bag. The Fratelis forgot to check it. I emptied out all of my marbles and put the jewels in. We don't have to leave the boon docks!
Irving Walsh : [ripping up the foreclosure document] They'll be no more signing today or ever again.
[cheering]
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Chunk : Listen, okay? You guys'll never believe me. There was two cop cars, okay? And they were chasing this four-wheel deal, this real neat ORV, and there were bullets flying all over the place. It was the most amazing thing I ever saw!
Mikey : More amazing than the time Michael Jackson come over to your house to use the bathroom.
Brandon Walsh : More amazing than the time you saved those old people from that nursing home fire, right?
Mouth : Yeah, and I bet it was even more amazing than the time you ate your weight in Godfather's pizza, right?
Chunk : Okay, Brand. Michael Jackson didn't come over to my house to use the bathroom. But his sister did.
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Irene Walsh : Brandon Walsh! If you don't bring those kids back I'm going to commit Harri Krishna!
Brandon Walsh : That's Hari Kari, Ma!
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Mikey : [to One-Eyed Willie] Hi Willie. Oh, I'm Mike Walsh. You've been expecting me, haven't you? Well I made it. I beat you. I got here in one piece... so far.
[lifts up Willie's patch]
Mikey : So... that's why they call you One-Eyed Willie... One-Eyed Willie.
[takes a breath from his breathalizer]
Mikey : We have a lot in common, you and me. One-Eyed Willie. You're the first Goonie.
[the rest of the Goonies show up]
Mikey : Yo. Hi guys. How's it going? This is Willie... One-Eyed Willie. Say hi, Willie. Those are my friends... the Goonies.
[pauses]
Mikey : How long have you guys been standing there?
Brandon Walsh : Long enough, Mikey. Long enough.
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Brandon Walsh : My new tires! They popped my new tires those son of a... I'm going to kill...
[Brandon takes a little girl's bike]
Brandon Walsh : [to the girl] Thanks I owe you one.
Girl : My bike! I want my bike, I want my bike, I want my bike.
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Mikey : [calls for a bathroom break] Okay, this is the little boys' room, and that cave over there is the little girls' room.
[Brandon heads to a different cave]
Mikey : Brand, where're you going?
Brandon Walsh : This is the *men's* room.
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Irene Walsh : Boys, I am taking Rosalita to the supermarket. Now listen, I am going to be back in about an hour. Mikey, I want you kept inside. Brandon, if he's coming down with asthma, I don't want him out in the rain.
Brandon Walsh : He should be put in a plastic bubble.
Irene Walsh : I'm serious Brandon! That's not funny. He takes one step outside and you'll be in the deepest, absolutely the deepest, shi, shi, shi...
Brandon Walsh : Shit, Ma!
Irene Walsh : I don't like that language but that's exactly what you're going to be in. And you, Data.
Data : Data,
Irene Walsh : Data,use the back door from now on okay?
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Andy : [hysterically] I should've let him look at my body! Don't I have a beautiful body? Don't I have a beautiful body?
Brandon Walsh : You've got a great body.
Andy : How many more years do I have before I get all fat? Before my hair falls out? Before I look... like him?
[the Goonies stumble upon Chester Copperpot's skeleton]
Andy : [screams] AAAAAHHHH!
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Data : Hey any of you guys ever hear of Detroit?
Mikey : No.
Mouth : Sointenly! Where Motown started. It's also got the highest murder rate in the country.
Data : Well, let me tell you what. That's where we're going when we lose the house tomorrow.
Mikey : You shut up about that stuff, it'll never happen. My dad will fix it.
Brandon Walsh : Yeah sure he will. If he gets his next 400 paychecks by tommorrow afternoon.
Mikey : That's wrong Brand! It won't happen.
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Mikey : [while trying to escape the crumbling cave] What about the loot?
Brandon Walsh : What about our lives?
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[Chunk drinks from a water cooler while the others try to figure out how to get through the floor]
Mouth : I've got an idea. Why don't we just spread chocolate all over the floor and let Chunk eat his way through?
Chunk : Okay, Mouth. That's all I can stand... and I can't stand no more!
[steps towards Mouth, knocks over the cooler, and tries to right it]
Chunk : I got it! I got it! I got it!
[rights the cooler, but the bottle falls off and breaks]
Chunk : I don't got it.
Mouth , Mikey , Brandon Walsh : You klutz!
Chunk : Hope it's not a deposit bottle!
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Elgin Perkins : Hello little guys. I'm Mr Perkins, Troy's father.
Richard 'Data' Wang : We know who Troy is. He's that cheap guy.
Brandon Walsh : My dad's not home, Mr. Perkins.
Elgin Perkins : Is your mommy here?
Brandon Walsh : [sarcastically] No, actually she's out at the market buying Pampers for all us kids.
Elgin Perkins : [feigning laughing] Papers, Bill. You can give these to your father to read through and sign. I'll be by to pick them up in the morning.
Brandon Walsh : Thank you.
Elgin Perkins : Thank *you*.
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Andy : [Motions at Brand with eyes]
Brandon Walsh : What are you? Crazy? They're here.
Andy : [hysterically] They're here, they're here, they're here, they're here.
[Brand covers Andy's mouth]
Jake Fratelli : [whispering] There they are. Right there.
Brandon Walsh : [shouting to the others] It's the Fratellies. This way. Come on we've got to move! Let's go you guys. Don't fall behind. Let's move.
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Richard 'Data' Wang : [Falls through to ship's hold; group of Goonies ask if he's okay] Data's okay! Data's quite tired of falling and Data's tired of skeletons!
Brandon Walsh : Why didn't you use the stairs?
Richard 'Data' Wang : Use the stairs! Stairs! The stupid guys tell me to use the stairs when Data's falling. If Data's hurt, nobody cares anymore...
Mikey : [walks down the stairs] Data's okay...
Richard 'Data' Wang : Then some guy tells me I have stupid inventions. I've been spending months and months studying on them and inventing them. God!
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Mikey : It was a retropactum!
Brandon Walsh : Retrospective!
Mikey : See! That's what I said! You always contradict me... I know what I was saying. It was on the history of Astoria and these are the rejects!
Chunk : Kinda like us... Mikey. The Goonies.
Mouth : I'm not a reject!
Mikey : Take that stuff off, you'll get me in trouble
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Chunk : What's all the stuff in the attic?
Mikey : It has something to do with my dad being the assistant curly, curny.
Brandon Walsh : [smacking Mikey on the back of the head] Curator.
Mikey : That's what I said.
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[deleted scene]
Brandon Walsh : [saves Mikey by grabbing Troy by the coat] Nobody hits my brother except me!
Troy Perkins : [gets pushed back] Wha... I just can't wait until Monday when my father kicks all of you trash out in the street where you belong! While you Goonies are piling all your stuff in the moving vans, I'll be teeing off on what used to be your front lawn!
[Troy rushes to Andy and Stef]
Troy Perkins : Our court time is now! Come on!
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[Brandon runs out of the house, gets to his bike]
Irene Walsh : Brandon, don't you come home without your brother, or I'll commit Hare Krishna!
Brandon Walsh : That's "Harry Carry", ma.
Irene Walsh : That is exactly what I said!
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Mikey : [the kids are arguing] Stop! We've got to get to the lowest point of the floor.
Brandon Walsh : Lowest point nothing, Mikey. Now let's go!
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Mikey : I swear on my life! They've got an... an 'IT!' A giant 'IT!' When it came into the light it was all gross and distorted, and, and...
Brandon Walsh : Yeah, kinda like your brain, right lame-o? Say goodbye to your little pals.
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[to go on their adventure, the Goonies tie Brand up with his exercise band]
Irene Walsh : [seeing him and thinking he did it to himself] Can't you learn how to exercise like a normal kid?
Brandon Walsh : But, Ma!
Irene Walsh : Look at you. You're hyperventrilicating here. Where's your brother?
Brandon Walsh : [she starts to leave] Mom! God! What's wrong with you people?
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[Data activates a machine, which prints out paper of money]
Data : Fifty-dollar bills. Fifty-dollar hills? FIFTY DOLLAR BILLS?
Stef , Andy : Did he say fifty-dollar bills?
Data : Guys! There's hundreds of fifty-dollar bills! We have the money to save the Goon Docks!
[the kids gather around in excitement until Brandon takes a closer look at the money]
Brandon Walsh : QUIET!
[they do so]
Brandon Walsh : They're fake. They're bogus. They're phony bills!
Data : No!
Mikey : I knew these people were from the ozone!
Andy : You get 25 years for counterfeiting!
Chunk : AW!
