- Gordon Brittas: It is seven years to the day since the first member of the public walked through those doors.
- Gavin Featherly: And you threw him out, Mr. Brittas!
- Gordon Brittas: He was wearing unauthorised water wings, Gavin.
- Linda Perkin: You're going to die anyway if you get pneumonia.
- Tim Whistler: Good. At least I'll die of something I'm not scared of.
- Gordon Brittas: Since I have been manager, I am proud to say there have only been twenty-three deaths. And not one of them was a staff member.
- Julie: Why can't we use the canteen?
- Gordon Brittas: If you remember, Julie, the canteen was sealed by the police until after the inquest.
- Gavin Featherly: But if there's food in there . . .
- Laura Lancing: I spoke to one of the forensic scientist, Gavin. Believe me, you wouldn't want to touch it.
- Laura Lancing: If you remember, Mr. Brittas, you told the ambulance men to come round to the back in future. You thought it was better for morale.
- Gavin Featherly: I've just seen Larry Whittaker. He says he's going to kill Brittas.
- Tim Whistler: I've always liked Larry.
- Gordon Brittas: Now, Tim, if I could just have a word?
- [takes Tim into his office]
- Gordon Brittas: Now, that was a bit out of character this morning, wasn't it? It may just be my imagination, but I thought you were a bit "tetchy" in the lineup.
- Tim Whistler: Oh, that. No, it's all sorted out.
- Gordon Brittas: Meant to be doing something with you, was he, young Gavin?
- Tim Whistler: ... yes. Sort of.
- Gordon Brittas: And he went to the pub instead. Tim, life's too short to worry about things like that. If I had a pound for everyone who promised to meet me and never showed up, I'd be Paul Getty Jr! Timothy- it's human nature!
- Tim Whistler: Really.
- Gordon Brittas: I was unmarried once myself too, you know. Used to go to the pub with my mates, have a few drinks, a game of darts, a few more drinks, go for a takeaway, next thing you know, it's three in the morning and you wake up on the floor in some total strangers flat!
- [Tim gets panicked and worried look on his face]
- Gordon Brittas: But what does it matter, eh, Tim, boy?
- [puts his hand on Tim's shoulder as he leaves the room]
- Gordon Brittas: It's not as if you're married to the man, is it!
- [sniggers]
- Gordon Brittas: [Tim closes his eyes and leaves, absolutely horrified]
- [Angie hands him a box of tissues and a mug of coffee]
- Gordon Brittas: Laura, how's the lorry driver?
- Laura Lancing: Yeah, I gave him your message about staying, Mr. Brittas. He said he's rather take his chances in the snow.
- Helen Brittas: Carole, when my last client left, was he all hunched up, jabbering to himself?
- Carole Parkinson: Yes.
- Helen Brittas: Good, good. He's getting better.
- Gordon Brittas: I'm afraid Carole is having some sort of nervous collapse. She's to have counselling sessions with Mrs. Brittas.
- Julie: Isn't that a bit like taking coals to Newcastle?
- Laura Lancing: [repeated line, every time Mr. Brittas asks for an explanation] Well...
- [she nevers gets any further]
- Helen Brittas: Could you give this to my husband?
- Laura Lancing: Yes, of course.
- Helen Brittas: It's just to tell him it's fish cakes for supper and I'm pregnant.
- Laura Lancing: Helen, that's fantastic!
- Helen Brittas: Well, after today's events I thought the news had rather lost its novelty value.
- Carole Parkinson: Why don't I get a sardine, Mr. Brittas?
- Gordon Brittas: Carole, the points system takes into the account that some people are more valuable to the group than the others.
- Helen Brittas: Normally I have to spend New Year's Eve with Gordon's family. It's rather nice being with people I like.
- Helen Brittas: I can't see him till ten, can I?
- Laura Lancing: Why not?
- Helen Brittas: It takes half an hour for the pills to work.
- Gordon Brittas: [speaking to the staff] Does anyone know a black person who could help us out? Come on, someone must! He's only got to stand in line for a few minutes...
- [looks around]
- Linda Perkin: [steps forward, enthusiastically] The Baptist Church has a gospel choir!
- Gordon Brittas: We don't want to flood the place, Linda.
- [points at Gavin, who is standing with Tim]
- Gordon Brittas: Gavin, what about that chap I saw you with the other evening?
- Gavin Featherly: I'm sorry?
- Gordon Brittas: The chap in the pub on Tuesday.
- [Tim turns to Gavin incredulously]
- Gavin Featherly: Oh, I...
- Tim Whistler: [accusingly] You said you were at your mother's on Tuesday!
- Gavin Featherly: [to Brittas] I think you must have made a mistake!
- Gordon Brittas: No, tall, good looking black chap.
- Tim Whistler: Well, that's very nice, I must say!
- [storms out]
- Gordon Brittas: [Brittas thinks Carole is putting on too much weight] Carole, could you come here a minute?
- Laura Lancing: [seeing Carole come from behind the desk] I think Carole is expecting a baby, Mr. Brittas.