Phil: Well, what if there is no tomorrow? There wasn't one today.
D.J. #1: Okay, campers, rise and shine, and don't forget your booties 'cause it's cooooold out there today.
D.J. #2: It's coooold out there every day. What is this, Miami Beach?
D.J. #1: Not hardly. And you know, you can expect hazardous travel later today with that, you know, that, uh, that blizzard thing.
D.J. #2: [mockingly] That blizzard - thing. That blizzard - thing. Oh, well, here's the report! The National Weather Service is calling for a "big blizzard thing!"
D.J. #1: Yessss, they are. But you know, there's another reason why today is especially exciting.
D.J. #2: Especially cold!
D.J. #1: Especially cold, okay, but the big question on everybody's lips...
D.J. #2: On their chapped lips...
D.J. #1: On their chapped lips, right: Do ya think Phil is gonna come out and see his shadow?
D.J. #2: Punxsutawney Phil!
D.J. #1: That's right, woodchuck-chuckers - it's...
Phil: You want a prediction about the weather, you're asking the wrong Phil. I'll give you a winter prediction: It's gonna be cold, it's gonna be grey, and it's gonna last you for the rest of your life.
Ned: Phil? Hey, Phil? Phil! Phil Connors? Phil Connors, I thought that was you!
Phil: Hi, how you doing? Thanks for watching.
[Starts to walk away]
Ned: Hey, hey! Now, don't you tell me you don't remember me because I sure as heckfire remember you.
Phil: Not a chance.
Ned: Ned... Ryerson. "Needlenose Ned"? "Ned the Head"? C'mon, buddy. Case Western High. Ned Ryerson: I did the whistling belly-button trick at the high school talent show? Bing! Ned Ryerson: got the shingles real bad senior year, almost didn't graduate? Bing, again. Ned Ryerson: I dated your sister Mary Pat a couple times until you told me not to anymore? Well?
Phil: Ned Ryerson?
Phil: [talking to a sleeping Rita] I think you're the kindest, sweetest, prettiest person I've ever met in my life. I've never seen anyone that's nicer to people than you are. The first time I saw you... something happened to me. I never told you but... I knew that I wanted to hold you as hard as I could. I don't deserve someone like you. But if I ever could, I swear I would love you for the rest of my life.
Rita: Did you say something?
Phil: Good night.
Phil: This is one time where television really fails to capture the true excitement of a large squirrel predicting the weather.
Phil: When Chekhov saw the long winter, he saw a winter bleak and dark and bereft of hope. Yet we know that winter is just another step in the cycle of life. But standing here among the people of Punxsutawney and basking in the warmth of their hearths and hearts, I couldn't imagine a better fate than a long and lustrous winter.
Phil Connors: This is pitiful. A thousand people freezing their butts off waiting to worship a rat. What a hype. Groundhog Day used to mean something in this town. They used to pull the hog out, and they used to eat it. You're hypocrites, all of you!
[Driving down the railroad tracks toward an approaching train]
Phil: I'm betting he's going to swerve first.
Phil: [Holding Phil the Groundhog behind the wheel] Don't drive angry. Don't drive angry!
Rita: [Phil has described several people in the diner] What about me, Phil? Do you know me too?
Phil: I know all about you. You like producing, but you hope for more than Channel 9 Pittsburgh.
Rita: Well, everyone knows that!
Phil: You like boats, but not the ocean. You go to a lake in the summer with your family up in the mountains. There's a long wooden dock and a boathouse with boards missing from the roof, and a place you used to crawl underneath to be alone. You're a sucker for French poetry and rhinestones. You're very generous. You're kind to strangers and children, and when you stand in the snow you look like an angel.
Rita: [in wonder] How are you doing this?
Phil: I told you. I wake up every day, right here, right in Punxsutawney, and it's always February 2nd, and there's nothing I can do about it.
Felix's Wife: Dr. Connors. I want to thank you for fixing Felix's back. He can even help around the house again.
Phil: I'm sorry to hear that, Felix.
Phil: There is no way that this winter is *ever* going to end as long as this groundhog keeps seeing his shadow. I don't see any other way out. He's got to be stopped. And I have to stop him.
Phil: Come on, *all* the long distance lines are down? What about the satellite? Is it snowing in space? Don't you have some kind of a line that you keep open for emergencies or for celebrities? I'm both. I'm a celebrity in an emergency.
[sitting outside the local bank]
Phil: A gust of wind.
[a gust of wind blows]
Phil: A dog barks.
[a dog barks in the distance]
Phil: Cue the truck.
[an armored truck drives up]
Phil: Exit Herman; walk out into the bank.
[Herman gets out of the armored truck and walks into the bank]
Phil: Exit Felix, and stand there with a not-so-bright look on your face.
[Felix gets out of truck and stands there]
Phil: All right, Doris, come on. Hey, fix your bra, honey... That's better.
[Doris walks up fixing her outfit]
Phil: [impersonating Doris] Felix.
[Doris says, "Felix"]
Phil: [impersonating Felix] How ya doin' Doris?
[Felix asks Doris a question]
Phil: [impersonating Doris] Can I have a roll of quarters?
[Doris asks Felix for a roll of quarters]
Phil: [Phil stands up and begins to walk towards the armored car, counting to himself]
Phil: 10, 9, 8, car...
[a car drives in front of Phil]
Phil: ...6, 5, quarters...
[roll of quarters breaks open, hitting the ground]
Phil: ...3, 2...
[Phil reaches over Felix and takes a bag of money out of the back of the armored truck]
Herman: Felix, did I bring out two bags or one?
Felix: I dunno.
[scratches his head]
Psychiatrist: That's an unusual problem, Mr. Connors. Uh, Most of my work is with couples, families. I have an alcoholic now.
Phil: Well you went to college, right? I mean, it wasn't veterinary psychology, was it? Didn't you take some kind of course that covered this stuff?
Psychiatrist: Yeah, sort of, I guess. Uh, abnormal psychology.
Phil: So, what do I do?
Psychiatrist: I think we should meet again. How's tomorrow for you?
[Phil begins punching himself in the head through pillow]
Psychiatrist: Is that not good?
Phil: Ned, I would love to stay here and talk with you... but I'm not going to.
Man in Hallway: Morning. Off to see the groundhog?
Man in Hallway: Think it'll be an early spring?
Phil: Didn't we do this yesterday?
Man in Hallway: I don't know what you mean.
Phil: [slams him against the wall] Don't mess with me, pork chop. What day is this?
Man in Hallway: It's February 2nd. Groundhog Day.
Phil: Yeah. I'm sorry. You know, I thought it was yesterday.
Man in Hallway: Oh.
Phil: Hey commander, what's going on?
State Trooper: There's nothing going on. We're closing the road. Big blizzard moving in.
Phil: What blizzard? It's a couple of flakes.
State Trooper: Don't you listen to the weather? We got a major storm here.
Phil: I make the weather! All of this moisture coming up out of the Gulf is gonna push off to the east and hit Altoona.
State Trooper: Pal, you got that moisture on your head. Now you can go back to Punxsutawney, or you can go ahead and freeze to death. It's your choice. So what's it gonna be?
Phil: [pauses] I'm thinking...
[Waking after a night of reading poetry and only chaste sleep with Rita, Phil jumps out of bed, determined to show himself as a new and likable man. He gives a wad of cash to the Old Man beggar and shows up early for the photo shoot, carrying a tray of coffees just the way that Rita and Larry like them, and with Larry's favorite pastry]
Phil: Who wants coffee? Get it while it's hot!
Rita: [surprised] Oh! Thanks, Phil!
Phil: [Handing Larry a lidded styrofoam container of coffee] Larry? Skim milk, two sugar.
Larry: [Also surprised] Yeah. Thanks, Phil!
[Phil offers the tray to Rita, who looks enticed, but says:]
Rita: No. We're just setting up.
Phil: Pastry, Larry? Take your pick.
Larry: Well, thanks, Phil. Raspberry, great.
Phil: Say, I was just talking with Buster Green, he's the head groundhog honcho. And he said, if we set up over here
[he points his thumb over his shoulder]
Phil: , we might get a better shot. What do you think?
[Rita is still surprised that Phil Connors is being so thoughtful and helpful]
Rita: Sounds good.
Phil: Larry, what do you think?
[It is obvious that Phil has never asked for Larry's opinion in his life, and Larry grins]
Larry: Yeah. Let's go for it.
Rita: [Pleased] Good work, Phil.
Phil: Maybe we'll get lucky. Let me give you a hand with the heavy stuff.
[Phil takes the backpack and news-camera]
Phil: No, no, you got your coffee.
[They start to walk to the "better" spot]
Phil: We never talk, Larry. Do you have kids?
[Rita stares in astonishment, then slowly follows them]
[to Rita about Phil]
Larry: Did he actually call himself "the talent"?
[Phil Connors drives (because Ralph and Gus are drunk) right through a mailbox]
Gus: Hey Phil, if we wanted to hit mailboxes we could let Ralph drive.
Phil: Well maybe the *real* God uses tricks, you know? Maybe he's not omnipotent. He's just been around so long he knows everything.
Phil: I killed myself so many times I don't even exist anymore.
Nurse: Sometimes, people just die.
Phil: Not today.
Larry: [about Phil] He's out of his gourd.
Phil: Well, it's Groundhog Day... again...
Phil: You know, people like blood sausage, too. People are morons.
Phil: Somebody asked me today, "Phil, if you could be anywhere in the world, where would you like to be?" And I said to him, "Prob'ly right here - Elko, Nevada, our nation's high at 79 today." Out in California, they're gonna have some warm weather tomorrow, gang wars, and some *very* overpriced real estate. Up in the Pacific Northwest, as you can see, they're gonna have some very, very tall trees.
Rita: Three hundred and thirty-nine dollars and eighty-eight cents!
Phil: I think people place too much emphasis on their careers. I wish we could all live in the mountains at high altitude. That's where I see myself in five years. How about you?
Rita: Oh, I agree. I just like to go with the flow. See where it leads me.
Phil: Well, it's led you here.
Rita: Mm hmm. Of course it's about a million miles from where I started out in college.
Phil: You weren't in broadcasting or journalism?
Rita: Uh unh. Believe it or not, I studied 19th-century French poetry.
Phil: [laughs] What a waste of time! I mean, for someone else that would be an incredible waste of time. It's so bold of you to choose that. It's incredible; you must have been a very very strong person.
Phil: [to Rita] I'm reliving the same day over and over.
Rita: [to Phil] What are you looking for Phil? A date for the weekend?
Rita: You're not a god. You can take my word for it; this is twelve years of Catholic school talking.
[to Nancy, about being a photojournalist]
Larry: People just don't understand what is involved in this. This is an art-form! You know, I think that most people just think that I hold a camera and point at stuff, but there is a *heck* of a lot more to it than just that.
Phil: [Upon waking up and realizing his attempt to kill himself failed] Ah, nuts.
Phil: [holds up his drink for the bartender] Could I have one more of these with some booze in it please?
Elderly Lady whose flat tire Phil fixed: He's the fastest jack in Jefferson County!
Buster Green: If you gotta shoot, aim high. I don't wanna hit the groundhog.
Phil: Can I have another one of these with some booze in it?
[upon seeing its Groundhog Day again]
Phil: What the hell?
Phil: [driving a car on the train tracks] We could do whatever we want.
Rita: It's groundhog time.
Larry: Prima Donnas.
Phil: Morons, your bus is leaving.
Phil: [to Rita] Is there anything I can do for you... today?
Phil: I'm not going to live by their rules anymore.
Phil: Commander, what's going on?
Groundhog Official: There's nothing going on. We're closing the road. Big blizzard moving in.
Phil: What blizzard? It's a couple flakes.
Groundhog Official: Don't you listen to the weather? We got a major storm here.
Phil: I make the weather! All this moisture coming up out of the Gulf will push off to the east and hit Altoona.
Groundhog Official: Pal, you got that moisture on your head. You can go back to Punxsutawney or you can freeze to death. It's your choice. What's it gonna be?
Phil: [pauses] I'm thinking...
Diner Patron: Just put that anywhere, pal! Yeah! Good save!
Phil: So what do you want out of life anyway?
Rita: I guess I want what everybody wants. You know, career, love, marriage, children.
Phil: Are you seeing anyone?
Rita: I think this is getting too personal. I don't think I'm ready to share this with you.
Rita: How about you? What do you want?
Phil: What I really want is someone like you.
Rita: [chuckles] Oh, please.
Phil: Well, why not? What are you looking for? Who is your perfect guy?
Phil: Well, first of all, he's too humble to know he's perfect.
Phil: That's me.
Rita: He's intelligent, supportive, funny...
Phil: Intelligent, supportive, funny... me, me, me...
Rita: He's romantic and courageous...
Phil: Me also...
Rita: He's got a good body, but he doesn't have to look in the mirror every two minutes.
Phil: I have a great body, and sometimes I go months without looking.
Rita: He's kind and sensitive and gentle, he's not afraid to cry in front of me...
Phil: This is a man we're talking about, right?
Rita: He likes animals and children and he'll change poopy diapers...
Phil: Does he have to use the word poopy?
Rita: Oh, and he plays an instrument, and he loves his mother.
Phil: I am really close on this one... really, really close.
Phil: Can you keep a secret Larry? I'm probably leaving PBH. So this will be the last time we do the Groundhog festival together.
Larry: I don't understand what's so wrong with the Groundhog festival. You know when I was in San Diego, I had to cover the swallows returning to Capistrano six years in a row.
Phil: Someday someone's gonna' see me interviewing a groundhog and think I don't have a future.
Ned: I got friends who live and die by the actuarial tables.