Two If by Sea (1996) User Reviews (39)

Only for Sandra Bullock

[jubair07 · 6/10 · 1 December 2016]

The basic premise of the movie is the story of two thief Roz (Sandra Bullock) and Frank (Denis Leary). There is nothing new in this movie in terms of plot, great character development or mise en scene. But it is still quite enjoyable due to the great on-screen chemistry between Sandra Bullock and Denis Leary.

I watched it as I was (I still am) a huge fan of Sandra Bullock and she didn't disappoint. She had quite a different role in this movie as a "Bad Girl" persona compared to her previous "The Sweet Girl Next Door" character movies she did like Love Potion No. 9, The Net, While You Were Sleeping and Speed. Her character, costumes and her interactions with Denis Leary makes it a worthwhile movie for fans of Sandra Bullock and a an interesting Friday Night movie for everyone else.

One honourable mention is Yaphet Kotto as FBI Agent O'Malley, he basically steals every scene he is in even when Bullock and Leary are present.

Sandy & Denis

[aholthuis-889-778900 · 6/10 · 13 April 2022]

The most unrealistic thing about this movie is that Sandra Bullock's boyfriend is Denis Leary.

Granted, he is a decent looking man. Kind eyes. Obviously put effort into playing his character.

But you find yourself kinda rootin for the other guy even though he's not the one you're supposed to be rootin for just because he's cute, ya know?

Watch this romantic comedy movie with your girlfriend

[butchfilms · 6/10 · 10 February 2009]

This is the kind of movie to sit, watch and relax without demanding too much of it.

The stronger point of the movie are its likable characters (except Evan Marsh). Sandra Bullock is like a fish in the water in this kind of movies and she has a good chemistry with the other leading Denis Leary. The supporting characters are good like the FBI Agent O'Malley and the group of thieves (especially when they discuss between themselves making funny comments).

'Frank' O'Brien has stolen a very expensive painting and he will go to an appointment with his girlfriend Roz to sell it, what he doesn't know it is that the FBI Agent O'Malley and his thieves friends are after them

A cute, funny, guilty pleasure type of movie

[WolverineGirl · 26 November 2001]

The story is nothing new, the acting ain't that great, but "Two if by Sea" has its moments. It's an entertaining little movie, and Sandra Bullock's mixture of charm, sarcasm, and innocence play out well. The movie knows it's not too sophisticated or shrewd (even the cop says of his own investigation, "this is too easy") and it's a great film to watch on an afternoon or just to be entertained. If you're a Sandra fan, you'll like it no matter what. :)

Not horrible! But not good either.

[laurelhardy-12268 · 3/10 · 31 March 2022]

The writing is a mundane and redundant; and the directing is below average at best. Bill Bennett doesn't exactly have a stellar resume.

Scenery is the high point along with the two leads. Nice to see Leary in a calmer role and Bullock does a good job being discontent without being nasty.

But I can't recommend it, that's for sure.

If you're a fan of the genre, and like Denis Leary and Sandra Bullock, then you might want to venture a viewing. Then again, ya might not.

A better word than BAD applies: DRAB. And not as it pertains to color, but it's 2nd meaning: dull & monotonous. Sorry, it really is. Their joyless relationship weighs on the viewer, and they're not even nasty to each other. She complains about everything he's not, but should be, and his response is always the same, mumbling about how he is, and that's if he says anything at all. It wouldn't be that bad if it wasn't so relentless. But it goes on for the entire movie. And the worst part is; there's no counterbalance. The movie is devoid any high points. You know; those special scenes that hook you & are hard to forget. There's 0 of those.

The climax with the Feds and the stolen painting(s) should be exciting. It's a yawner.

And by the movies end, when they decide to try to work things out, it's too late for anybody even care about these two. And the dialogue for this (should be) momentous scene is bad!. Or is it drab? Hmmm. Oh well!

My wife loves RomComs and especially Sandra Bullock. Actually, so do I on both counts. About 2/3 of the way through this movie, my better 1/2 (Evelyn); said, "Holy cow Bob, this movie is dreadful."

Thx

Bob R.

Funny movie, but more appealing to Denis Leary fans

[mattymatt4ever · 7/10 · 30 March 2001]

I am a big fan of Denis Leary, and I thought this was a damn funny movie. The plot is cut-and-dry (the little plot that exists), but it works out nicely as a comedy, mostly due to Leary's funny dialogue and humorous arguments between him and Bullock. I think Bullock was miscast, though. She did an OK job, but her accent drifted many times. If you like Leary, you'll probably have a great time. I especially loved the scene where Leary was going fishing and he shoots one of the fish. Then he cooks it up, serves it up to Bullock and she spits out a bullet. That was classic. But for non-Leary fans...you might not enjoy it as much. I don't consider him an acquired taste, but his foul-mouthed banter doesn't appeal to everyone.

Not sandy's best

[csauer · 5/10 · 6 December 2005]

This movie started out with some good laughs but why didn't I like it? Sandra was pretty funny but that didn't satisfy me this time. The story itself was goofy. I mean this couple was together for seven years and had nothing? Beano didn't exactly come off as a real big crime boss. I mean being the idiot of the Red Green show to king pin? I don't think so. The fishing scene was hilarious and the deer scene was great. I didn't care for Roz making a play for the rich neighbor only to run back to Frank when rich boy gets busted. The FBI, police and sheriff department were all so inept it was like the key stone cops. It had all in all some laughs but I was glad when it ended. Good enough to watch once I guess. This movie is so so.

Minor gem

[xredgarnetx · 7/10 · 4 November 2006]

A blonde Sandra B. and her beau of longstanding, played by the equally blond Dennis Leary, romp their way through a romantic comedy having to do with a bunch of small-time crooks and a very valuable stolen painting. Shot in scenic Nova Scotia, the backgrounds are absolutely gorgeous, and Bullock and Leary have great rapport that makes their rocky relationship very believable. FBI agent Yaphet Koto is along for the ride in a role similar to the one he essayed in MIDNIGHT RUN. Leary co-wrote this, In a manner reminiscent of Donald Westlake -- which is a very good thing, if you know who Westlake is. If not, look him up. Leary is consistently Leary (maybe he was born a fully developed adult), while Bullock in 1996 is growing into the superstar that we know today. She's playing a role that might have been Julia Roberts' a few years before, as she did in several other pictures prior to SPEED and MISS CONGENIALITY, which she made her own.

At least it stuck to the plot

[reviews-88741 · 2/10 · 20 July 2021]

Two if by Sea was an alright movie. I was okay in the fact that they caught the bad guy and they merely escaped jail time but I didn't see much logic in the romance, if Roz really didn't like the guy why did she end up with him. She complains about alway falling for his tricks but in the end she lets herself; gives in (once again). Roz needs to make up her mind on if she wants to be with Frank or not. I thought the cops would've had more on screen action and there would be more tension built about how the main FBI agent wanted to catch the art thief but overall the actors were wonderfull and as bad as it was it had a storyline, and better yet a plot.

CHEER! - (7 stars out of 10)

[BJG-Reviews · 7/10 · 23 April 2019]

The stage curtains open ...

Although "Two If By Sea" isn't one of Sandra Bullock's best films, it has a quiet and undeniable charm. It knows how to balance the plot with characterization and keeps you entertained. Frank (Leary) and Roz (Bullock) are two people you grow to care about and want to see the best outcome for. This is a great little film and well worth the watch.

The story starts right in the middle of things with no build up or foundation. Just two people - on the road - with a stolen valuable painting - police hot on their tail - on their way to a meeting with a buyer which equals payday for their efforts. They are also a couple, with their own history and share of problems and personality conflicts - and after 7 years of being together, things have finally come to a head. With the FBI, local police, a flattering neighbor, wise guys, and an obnoxious teenage kid all involved - you are taken down a sometimes comical path to a fun ending.

I saw this one once over 20 years ago, and I remember liking it. I've been in a retro mood lately, so I decided to pop it in and give it another view and I thoroughly enjoyed it. Probably more this time than the last. There is an honesty and carefree quality to both of these characters that is appealing. The ability to seemingly be in the moment with their fair share of pressure and concerns, and yet not take everything too seriously. In fact, it almost radiates a kind of innocence, even though he is a petty thief who she is trying to straighten out.

This one comes with a recommend. I was surprised how much I liked this movie, after all these years. It is a bit dated, but not too much. The chemistry between Leary and Bullock really works well here - almost like these two were made for each other. This is a fun diversion - a great way to spend 96 minutes.

Just an Okay Film

[docm-32304 · 5/10 · 5 March 2022]

I was expecting a little more given it being a Sandra Bullock film, but Denis Leary pulls it down with his usual a-hole persona. The pace is somewhat slow and probably the best descriptor for this movie is, "disappointing". Beano and gang are a funny group and Bullock does her job, but I only wish they had put some more likable dupe in as her boyfriend as Leary's longstanding persona from his stand up days to virtually all his roles, gets so tiresome.

Good for watching on a relaxing rainy weekend.

[Cowtownus · 7/10 · 6 October 2021]

Sandra Bullock and Dennis Leary are entertaining together. It takes a little getting used to their east coast accents. Once you get past that, then sit back and enjoy. It is not sophiscated thriller. Just comedic fun. Kapeto the detective is also fun to watch. The movie almost falls in the line of the Clue movie just kind of clean comedic fun the way movies used to be made. But, no way is it funny as Clue or Knives Out. I would watch again if I had nothing else better to do.

Too bad if you see

[helpless_dancer · 1/10 · 8 January 2002]

I couldn't stand but 30 minutes of this swill. Lame, utterly stupid jokes used in the most idiotic instances: third grade dialogue with a kindergarten story. Who wrote this crap? Even Sandra looked like hell, positively fat. Putrid!

Great chemistry, weak story.

[jbels · 23 January 2003]

It hit me while watching this that the movie would have been better if Sandra Bullock and Dennis Leary were not criminals. I know, strange, as that is the whole basis for plot, but the two of them were such fun when they were bantering that I thought the plot just got in the way. If it would have been about the two of them sneaking up to Martha's Vineyard to rekindle their romance, this would have been a truly great film.

Yaphet Kotto shines, but Bullock stinks

[jack_94706 · 3/10 · 8 February 2001]

Bullock fans will be greatly disappointed, wonder why she accepted such a stupid part. Generally the presence of Yaphet Kotto in a film is enough to spark my interest; prior to seeing this film, Bullock had also begun to have that sort of status for me. She is excellent two or three films, but hasn't done much since "Speed" which really merits attention. My brother, who is in the film trade in Hollywood, told me Bullock had fired her manager or agent, after drawing lots of attention for a few successful roles. Apparently this agent was the one who selected roles for Bullock which best brought her charm to the screen. Maybe she felt too stereotyped as "America's Sweetheart" or the next "Audrey Hepburn" -- I don't know. But her business sense, her apparent lack of concern about being given poor roles or stupid and disgusting lines in them, especially in this movie -- have completely destroyed my interest in almost all recent films she's been in. Kotto provides the only light here, in my estimation, and a fine light, too -- but his role comes too late and his presence in too limited to save this junk bucket.

like the leads

[SnoopyStyle · 6/10 · 17 December 2020]

Frank O'Brien (Denis Leary) and Roz (Sandra Bullock) are a low class petty-thieving couple. They stole a $4 million Matisse on contract with his cousin Beano Callahan and are on the run from the cops. Only they don't know its true value and the plan is to sell it for $20k with $10k being their share. They are running to meet the buyer on an island in Rhode Island and being pursued by FBI Agent O'Malley (Yaphet Kotto).

The bickering couple has an underlying promise of fun. I don't know if they actually achieve fun. I can't tell if I actually like this couple or just the two actors playing the couple. The filmmaking is rather lackluster with badly staged physical comedy. It's not obviously bad but it's not doing anything right. I like the criminals' ineptness. I don't like the unfunny inept cops. I would get rid of the boy who causes more problems than solves them. I like some of this but not a lot. This works to some extent but it's an uneven ride.

BAD!

[keiseren-2 · 3/10 · 23 October 2002]

With all due respect for Mr. Leary's capabilities as a comedian, this movie illustrates quite vividly that he is not an actor Hollywood has too much respect for. This movie is really, really stupid, and even Leary himself has admitted to being embarrassed about it. Bullock is on autopilot and all other characters are blatantly uninteresting. Only worth 3 points due to Leary's fishing-scene, that allows him to do what he is best at, comedy, and a rare performance by Yaphet Kotto. If you have no idea who Leary or Kotto is and thought "since Bullock is in it, it must be OK", you would be TERRIBLY wrong!!!

Movies that are panned can sometimes be enjoyed

[alicecbr · 6/10 · 27 July 2006]

Of course, I'm from Boston and Dennis' in-jokes about Bostonians gets me, especially since I've seen the Roast of Leary. And anyone who puts out a fund for firemen has my vote, as Dennis does. I loved the ode to plasterers so subtly portrayed in the finale.

I also loved his deliberate skewering of the rich folks at the cocktail party, but wouldn't it be nice just once if a writer (Leary) once said to himself: "What is the movie audience expecting here? What can I put in here that would destroy this?" How about 2 rich folks who could confront him with his deliberate "How can I best offend you?" manners, showing that it is HE who may be the reverse snob? REquires perhaps more subtlety than Dennis has. He is a great writer for 'all guys, all the time' shows: so how about something confronting his homophobic or even homophilic attitudes? I ask too much, I know.

and who owned the sailboat that kept sailing in and out of our view at the end of the road in the finale? Someone who Dennis owed money to? It was totally out of place, like a kid who keeps running into the camera's view just to get on TV.

Just another nit: You can't have sex in the way Dennis was trying to have it in the car, unless you're hung like a donkey, which he isn't despite his big hands.

Bullock: she's great, a real class act, as Leary has given homage to many times. I have ordered his "Deliver Me" to see if his acting has improved, if not his writing. WE'll see. He seems to play John Wayne, who always played himself....that school of acting.....too much for my liking.

And guess what? The unsolved Isabella Gardner art heist here in Boston is probably what triggered his imagination for this movie. Now on to 'The Ref', which DID get good reviews.

Simply historic

[Verbal-20 · 1/10 · 19 May 2000]

This film is the rightful butt of every bad-movie joke ever told. One of the worst and weakest of all films, it fails in ways beyond comprehension. Few movies have been any less funny or less emotionally involving for an unfortunate audience. At least with, say, Showgirls or Wild Wild West, you have something so bad it's funny. Two If By Sea does not have so lucky an audience. It's the worst kind of bad film, one that doesn't even have the decency to be humorously bad, so profoundly bad you can laugh at it. It is far, far worse. This movie makes Mortal Kombat Annihilation look like L.A. Confidential. I'm certain that watching Two If By Sea is considered torture in some parts of the world.

Nice enough light comedy

[srdjan_veljkovic · 6/10 · 19 November 2018]

It's a light comedy, with nice jokes spread rather evenly across the movie, at ~10 min, with a few exceptions. Jokes are OK, most are somewhat unexpected, come in different shapes and forms and don't rely on profanity or any such things. They are not very deep-minded either, mind you, some are actually based on stupidity, but, in general, they're OK.

Story is nothing to write home about, but, it's OK, makes just enough sense for such a comedy. Maybe near the end they way the Sandra's rich suitor gets exposed as an art thief is a little too much, but that's the only serious problem with the story. Acting is mostly OK, Denis Leary does a more interesting job than Sandra Bullock, who mostly just "goes through the motions" here, but, with enough effort to make it OK if you like her. Cameo by Yaphet Koto is OK, too.

It's well worth a watch if you're looking to wind down for the evening.

Two if Not in This Film!

[anaconda-40658 · 2/10 · 27 April 2015]

Two if by Sea (1996): Dir: Bill Bennett / Cast: Denis Leary, Sandra Bullock, Stephen Dillane, Yaphet Kotto, Mike Starr: One of the lamest titles in recent memory as if the writer thought it poetic that Denis Leary and Sandra Bullock break up if they did not live by a frigging beach. They play thieves who are delivering a rare expensive painting to their boss. After losing police they shack up in a deserted house. Bullock begins to question her lifestyle and is charmed by another man. Leary does everything to prove his loyalty. Director Bill Bennett does a stylish job but the screenplay would make better toilet paper. Leary makes an attempt to learn other skills that don't involve cheating, stealing and robbing but he soon must stand up for his relationship. Bullock wants out of the unlawful lifestyle yet is easily charmed by deceptive males. We hardly care about this. The ending is hardly believable and makes one wonder what was learned. Supporting roles are lousy and include Stephane Dillane as the stranger trying to court Bullock while having other plans in mind. Unfortunately those plans didn't involve kidnapping her and escorting themselves to the set of a superior film. The role is standard and predictable, and Yaphet Kotto is wasted. It is yet another boring romantic comedy retread with no real purpose other than to reflect that Bullock has done better. It is pointless fluff that should be buried at sea. Score: 2 / 10

Charming romantic comedy about two lovers on the lam that'll make you laugh and smile from start to finish

[Catherine_Grace_Zeh · 9/10 · 5 December 2005]

TWO IF BY SEA, in my opinion, is a charming romantic comedy about two lovers on the lam that'll make you laugh and smile from start to finish. If you ask me, Frank (Denis Leary) and Roz (Sandra Bullock) made an absolutely cute couple. I just don't understand why Frank felt he had to pull off that one last job before making amends with Roz. However, when she impersonated Homer Simpson, I laughed really hard. Someday, I'd like to go to somewhere in New England for a vacation. Before I wrap this up, I'd like to say that the production design was nice, the costumes were perfectly designed, and the performances were great. Now, in conclusion, I highly recommend this romantic comedy about two lovers on the lam that'll make you laugh and smile from start to finish to any Denis Leary or Sandra Bullock fan who hasn't seen it.

An unknown but fairly good movie

[ThomasColquith · 6/10 · 11 October 2021]

"Two if by Sea" is a little known movie, I just came across it now on tv and though I didn't expect much from the description it actually pulled me in due to the fine cinematography and scenery. I had thought that it might have been Maine, but it turns out to have been filmed in Nova Scotia. While the movie is not overly deep or serious, it is an entertaining diversion which does explore the two main characters to an extent. A relaxing watch, good for a slow afternoon. My rating: 6/10.

should have passed this one

[sandcrab277 · 2/10 · 7 May 2019]

Everyone tries way too hard to make this a comedy ... it fails because its all contrived and not spontaneous ... its like i tell you i'm going to fart and when i do you should giggle loudly and hold your nose ... that's why this film stinks ...