Laughter on the 23rd Floor (2001 TV Movie)

Saul Rubinek: Ira Stone

Quotes 

• [Ira has written "I Have A Brain Tumor" on the wall] 

  Max : Is that gonna wash off?

  Ira : Don't you care what might happen to me.

  Max : First let's discuss what happened to my wall. Is that gonna wash off?

  Ira : I don't think so. It's a permanent marker.

  Max : If that doesn't wash off, you will DEFINITELY have a brain tumor.

• Brian : The game is funny names.

  Ira : You against me? Where's the challenge? You can have all the other writers.

  Carol : Why do I want children? Look what they become.

  Val : All right. Let's get this over with. What's the bet?

  Writers : Shoes! We're playing for shoes. They take off their shoes My seventy dollar aligators against his worn out Irish cop shoes after 5 St. Patrick's Day parades.

  Val : Brian: Up the Irish Crosses Himself Ira: Screw the Pharoah Val:Aaaaaand... Go!

  Brian : Rabbi John Wayne.

  Writers : Eh.

  Ira : The Count of Monte through Friday.

  Writers : Oooh!

  Brian : Ira Chuvney.

  Ira : Ira Chuvney. That's my name. What's funny about that.

  Brian : Nothing. NOTHING IS FUNNY ABOUT IRA CHUVNEY!

  Writers : Applaud