Black Books (TV Series)

Fever (2002)

Johnny Vegas: Landlord

Photos 

Quotes 

• Landlord : Girls! Girls! Girls! You're both such lovely girls! Don't fight. And if you do, fight nice. With pillows. And jim-jams.

• [Fran's landlord is in his office, eating. Bernard walks in] 

  Bernard : Not so fast. I represent Fran Katzenjammer from room 2. She's my client, and I'm a hotshot lawyer like you would've seen on... television.

  Landlord : So what's the problem, exactly?

  Bernard : My client's room is smaller. And as you know, it is illegal to sell space under the European Legislation act, which happens... in a court.

  Landlord : Her room's the same as it's always been. I can give you the measurements if you want?

  Bernard : Don't evade the question.

  Landlord : Eh?

  Bernard : Just answer the question!

  Landlord : What question?

  Bernard : Huh? Oh, right, sorry. Um... where were you when the rooms were measured?

  Landlord : Oh, I was...

  Bernard : Ahahahaha! Ah, so if that's the case, then where was the room?

  Landlord : 2B has always been there, you can see it for yourself.

  Bernard : You're damn right I will, before I send this whole building downtown to the boys in the lab. I'm confiscating these as evidence...

  [he picks up a packet of buns] 

  Bernard : And I'm issuing you with a decree of sub... dew... dee. Subjudy! You are under legal subjudy to stay in that chair until such time as, erm... until Simon says stand up!