- Laraine Newman: Well, I think it's really exciting to have an 80-year-old grandmother host the show.
- John Belushi: What if she forgets her lines?
- Laraine Newman: Don't worry, she won't. You know, you should be this together when you're 80 as Mrs. Spillman is.
- John Belushi: Don't worry, I'll probably be dead by 30.
- [Elvis Costello and the Attractions start to perform "Less Than Zero"]
- Elvis Costello - Musical Guest: [to band] Hold it! Hold it! Hold it!
- [the band stops playing]
- Elvis Costello - Musical Guest: [to audience] I'm terribly sorry. There's no reason to play this song here. Ready? One, two, three, four!
- [Elvis and the Attraction perform "Radio, Radio"]
- Weekend Update Anchor: I'm Dan Aykroyd and I eat, sleep and snort news, if you catch my drift.
- Weekend Update Anchor: And I'm Jane Curtin, and I catch your drift, Dan.