Drillbit Taylor (2008)

Owen Wilson: Drillbit Taylor

Photos 

Quotes 

• Drillbit Taylor : I'm Drillbit Taylor... US Army ranger, black-ops operative, decorated marksman, improvised weapons expert.

  Wade : Are you still in the military?

  Drillbit Taylor : I was discharged - unauthorized heroism.

• [from trailer] 

  Drillbit Taylor : [from trailer]  Now in addition to the Chinese Kung Fu we've got a little Mexican Judo, as in 'Judon't know who you messin' with, homz.'

• Drillbit Taylor : So what'd you do to provoke him?

  Wade : Well he's fat, he's a dork, and I'm awesome.

• [repeated line] 

  Drillbit Taylor : Hoorah!

• Emmit : I'm not a hobbit!

  Drillbit Taylor : [to Ryan]  Emmit's not a hobbit, I don't think.

• Drillbit Taylor : Crap on a shit sandwich!

• Drillbit Taylor : You'd be surprised, anything can be turned into a weapon of mayhem or destruction.

  Emmit : Even a puppy?

  Drillbit Taylor : Especially a puppy. The Germans used em' in World War I. De Hundin Schtorman, Lightning Dog. They'd attach dynamite to them, Rommel did it, jerry bastard...

• Drillbit Taylor : Godammit, I'm sick of getting hit by this kid.

  Ryan : C'mon, Drillbit, kick his ass.

  Drillbit Taylor : I can't, he's a minor.

  Kid : No, he's not. He's 18.

• Ryan : Now, we're more screwed than ever. All because you wanted to protect the hobbit over here.

  Drillbit Taylor : Hey, let's just stop for a second.

  Emmit : I'm not a hobbit!

  Ryan : You're a damn hobbit, okay?

  Emmit : I'm not!

  Drillbit Taylor : Hold it! Hey, Emmit's not a hobbit, okay? I don't think.

• Wade : It's been great having someone around who, like, likes me, and isn't making fun of me or telling me to join the football team, like my step-dad.

  Drillbit Taylor : Just do your best. Be all you can be. What's the Army always say? "Have it your way."

  Wade : I think that's... Burger King.

  Drillbit Taylor : Where do you think *they* got it from?

  [they both start to chuckle] 

• Drillbit Taylor : [in the teacher's lounge]  Why don't we meet back here. Okay?

  Lisa : Okay. I'll keep the couch warm.

  Drillbit Taylor : Check the tags and make sure this couch is flame retardant. You know what I mean? Flame retardant? Because you're hot.

• Drillbit Taylor : So, what's the story? Who do you guys need protection from?

  Ryan : Should be easy for you. Just a high school bully.

  Drillbit Taylor : Yeah. Run into a few of those in my life... What did you do to provoke him?

  Wade : [motioning to Ryan, then Emmit]  He's fat, he's a dork, and I'm awesome.

  Ryan : Oh, shut up, Wade!

  Drillbit Taylor : By "awesome," do you mean scared, skinny and lonely?

  Wade : Yeah.

  Drillbit Taylor : Yeah.