Drillbit Taylor (2008)
Owen Wilson: Drillbit Taylor
Photos
Quotes
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Drillbit Taylor : I'm Drillbit Taylor... US Army ranger, black-ops operative, decorated marksman, improvised weapons expert.
Wade : Are you still in the military?
Drillbit Taylor : I was discharged - unauthorized heroism.
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[from trailer]
Drillbit Taylor : [from trailer] Now in addition to the Chinese Kung Fu we've got a little Mexican Judo, as in 'Judon't know who you messin' with, homz.'
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Drillbit Taylor : So what'd you do to provoke him?
Wade : Well he's fat, he's a dork, and I'm awesome.
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[repeated line]
Drillbit Taylor : Hoorah!
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Emmit : I'm not a hobbit!
Drillbit Taylor : [to Ryan] Emmit's not a hobbit, I don't think.
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Drillbit Taylor : Crap on a shit sandwich!
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Drillbit Taylor : You'd be surprised, anything can be turned into a weapon of mayhem or destruction.
Emmit : Even a puppy?
Drillbit Taylor : Especially a puppy. The Germans used em' in World War I. De Hundin Schtorman, Lightning Dog. They'd attach dynamite to them, Rommel did it, jerry bastard...
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Drillbit Taylor : Godammit, I'm sick of getting hit by this kid.
Ryan : C'mon, Drillbit, kick his ass.
Drillbit Taylor : I can't, he's a minor.
Kid : No, he's not. He's 18.
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Ryan : Now, we're more screwed than ever. All because you wanted to protect the hobbit over here.
Drillbit Taylor : Hey, let's just stop for a second.
Emmit : I'm not a hobbit!
Ryan : You're a damn hobbit, okay?
Emmit : I'm not!
Drillbit Taylor : Hold it! Hey, Emmit's not a hobbit, okay? I don't think.
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Wade : It's been great having someone around who, like, likes me, and isn't making fun of me or telling me to join the football team, like my step-dad.
Drillbit Taylor : Just do your best. Be all you can be. What's the Army always say? "Have it your way."
Wade : I think that's... Burger King.
Drillbit Taylor : Where do you think *they* got it from?
[they both start to chuckle]
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Drillbit Taylor : [in the teacher's lounge] Why don't we meet back here. Okay?
Lisa : Okay. I'll keep the couch warm.
Drillbit Taylor : Check the tags and make sure this couch is flame retardant. You know what I mean? Flame retardant? Because you're hot.
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Drillbit Taylor : So, what's the story? Who do you guys need protection from?
Ryan : Should be easy for you. Just a high school bully.
Drillbit Taylor : Yeah. Run into a few of those in my life... What did you do to provoke him?
Wade : [motioning to Ryan, then Emmit] He's fat, he's a dork, and I'm awesome.
Ryan : Oh, shut up, Wade!
Drillbit Taylor : By "awesome," do you mean scared, skinny and lonely?
Wade : Yeah.
Drillbit Taylor : Yeah.