Hiccup: [about the Night Fury] I really did hit one.
Hiccup: He never listens!
Gobber: Well, it runs in the family.
Hiccup: And when he does, it's always with this... disappointed scowl, like someone skimped on the meat in his sandwich.
Hiccup: "Excuse me, barmaid! I'm afraid you brought me the wrong offspring! I ordered an extra-large boy with beefy arms, extra guts and glory on the side. This here, this is a talking fish-bone!"
Gobber: Now, you're thinkin' about this all wrong. It's not so much what you *look* like, it's what's *inside* that he can't stand.
Hiccup: [sarcastic] Thank you for summing that up.
Gobber: Look the point is, stop trying so hard to be something you're not!
Hiccup: I just wanna be one of you guys!
Astrid: It's a mess. You must feel horrible. You've lost everything. Your father, your tribe, your best friend...
Hiccup: Thank you for summing that up.
Hiccup: Why couldn't I have killed that dragon when I found him in the woods? Would've been better, for everyone...
Astrid: Yep. The rest of us would have done it. So why didn't you?
Astrid: Why didn't you?
Hiccup: I don't know... I couldn't.
Astrid: That's not an answer.
Hiccup: *Why* is this so important to you all of a sudden?
Astrid: Because I want to remember what you say, *right now*.
Hiccup: Oh, for the love of... I was a coward! I was weak! I wouldn't kill a dragon!
Astrid: You said *wouldn't*, that time.
Hiccup: Agh, whatever... I *wouldn't*! Three hundred years, and I'm the first Viking who wouldn't kill a dragon!
Astrid: First to ride one, though. So...?
Hiccup: I wouldn't kill him, because he looked as frightened as *I* was. I looked at him... and I saw myself.
Hiccup: This is Berk. It snows nine months of the year, and hails the other three. Any food that grows here is tough and tasteless. The people that grow here are even more so. The only upsides are the pets. While other places have ponies or parrots... we have... dragons.
Hiccup: [about the dragons] Everything we know about you guys is wrong.
Astrid: [hanging from a tree branch] Hiccup! Get me *down* from here!
Hiccup: [pleading] You have to give me a chance to explain!
Astrid: I am not listening to *anything* you have to say!
Hiccup: Then I won't speak. Just let me *show* you. Please, Astrid.
[Astrid lifts herself up and gingerly climbs onto Toothless's back]
Astrid: Now get me down.
Hiccup: Toothless, down. *Gently.*
[Toothless spreads his wings, and the wind slowly lifts them into the air]
Hiccup: See? Nothing to be afraid of...
[Toothless launches himself into the sky at top speed, Astrid screams]
Hiccup: Augh! Toothless! What is *wrong* with you? Bad dragon! A-ha, he's uh, he's not usually like this... Oh no...
[Toothless rolls to the side and dives straight down, plunging in and out of the waves; Astrid screams]
Hiccup: Toothless, what are you doing, we need her to *like* us!
[Toothless soars up again and starts doing aileron rolls]
Hiccup: And now, the spinning. Thank you for *nothing*, you useless reptile!
Astrid: [terrified] Okay, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Just get me off of this thing!
[Toothless looks back at her, pleased, then spreads his wings and rises gently into the sky]
Hiccup: [as Toothless gestures for him to get on] You got it, bud.
[He mounts Toothless, preparing to fly after the Green Death dragon]
Stoick: [grabbing Hiccup's arm] Hiccup!... I'm sorry. For-for everything.
Hiccup: Yeah, me too.
Stoick: You don't have to go up there.
Hiccup: [smiling] We're Vikings. It's an occupational hazard.
Stoick: [taking his hand] I'm proud to call you my son.
Hiccup: Thanks, Dad.
Hiccup: [voice-over] This is Berk. It's twelve days north of Hopeless and a few degrees south of Freezing to Death. It's located solidly on the Meridian of Misery. My village. In a word? Sturdy. It's been here for seven generations, but every single building is new. We have fishing, hunting, and a charming view of the sunsets. The only problems are the pests. You see, most places have mice or mosquitoes... We have...
[aloud, as he slams the door against an attacking Monstrous Nightmare]
[during the final rounds of dragon training, Astrid notices Hiccup next to her and yanks his shield down, thrusting her face next to his]
Astrid: Stay out of my way! I'm winning this thing!
Hiccup: Uh... please, by all means.
[Astrid approaches the Gronkle stealthily]
Astrid: This time! This time, for sure!
[She springs up and charges with a yell... only to see that Hiccup has already "subdued" it. The crowd cheers]
Astrid: [swinging her axe wildly in anger] NO! YOU SON OF A HALF-TROLL, RAT-EATING, MUNGE-BUCKET!
Hiccup: [to Toothless] We're leaving! Let's pack up. Looks like you and me are taking a little vacation. Forever.
[he bends over his pack]
Hiccup: Ah man.
[looking up, he sees Astrid sitting on a boulder, sharpening her axe]
Hiccup: Agh! What the... uh, uh, what are you doing here?
Astrid: I want to know what's going on.
[she jumps down and menaces him with the axe]
Astrid: No one just *gets* as good as you do. *Especially* you. Start talking! Are you training with someone?
Hiccup: Uh, uh, training? I didn't...
Astrid: [grabbing his flight gear] It better not involve *this*...
Hiccup: I, I know, this... looks really bad, but, you see, this is uh...
[there's a rustling behind them and she looks over his shoulder toward the noise]
Hiccup: [trying to distract her] Uh, you're right! You're right, you're right. I, I'm through with the lies, I've been making... outfits! So, you got me. It's time everyone knew. Drag me back, go ahead... here we go...
[she twists his arm, throwing him to the ground]
Hiccup: OW! Why would you *do* that?
Astrid: That's for the lies! And *that's*...
[she drops the butt of her axe on his chest]
Astrid: ... for everything else!
[Toothless emerges a few feet away]
Hiccup: Oh man...
Astrid: [gasps and throws them both to the ground] Get down!
[Toothless charges, she pushes Hiccup away and raises her axe]
Astrid: RUN! RUN!
Hiccup: [grabbing the axe and throwing it away] No! No! It's okay, it's okay!
Hiccup: She's a friend.
[to Astrid, holding Toothless back]
Hiccup: You scared him.
Astrid: *I* scared *him*? Who is "him"?
Hiccup: Uh... Astrid, Toothless! Toothless, Astrid.
[Toothless snarls, Astrid shakes her head in bewilderment and runs off]
Hiccup: Duh-duh-duh, we're dead!
Hiccup: [reading in the Dragon Manual] Dragon classifications. Strength Class, Fear Class, Mystery Class. Thunderdrum: This reclusive dragon inhabits sea caves and dark tide pools. When startled, the Thunderdrum produces a concussive sound that can kill a man at close range. Extremely dangerous, kill on sight.
Hiccup: Timberjack: This gigantic creature has razor-sharp wings that can slice through full-grown trees. Extremely dangerous, kill on sight.
Hiccup: Scaldron: Sprays scalding water at its victim, extremely dangerous...
[thunder, Hiccup jumps]
Hiccup: Changeling: Even newly hatched dragons can spray acid, kill on sight.
[flipping pages faster]
Hiccup: Gronkles, Zippleback, the Skrill... Boneknapper... Whispering Death... Burns its victims, buries its victims, chokes its victims, turns its victims inside-out... Extremely dangerous, extremely dangerous... kill on sight, kill on sight, kill on sight... Night Fury. Speed unknown. Size unknown. The unholy offspring of lightning and death itself. Never engage this dragon. Your only chance: hide and pray it does not find you.
[seeing Toothless down, with Hiccup nowhere in sight]
Stoick: [kneeling beside Toothless] Oh, son... I did this.
[Toothless stirs and opens his eyes, looking at Stoick]
Stoick: I'm s... I'm so sorry.
[Toothless rolls to the side and lifts his wings, revealing Hiccup clutched in his arms]
[Stoick picks him up, puts an ear to his chest and laughs with relief]
Stoick: Ah, he's *alive*! You brought him back alive!
Stoick: [about Hiccup] What am I going to do with him, Gobber?
Gobber: Put 'im in training with the others.
Stoick: No, I'm serious!
Gobber: So am I!
Stoick: He'd be killed before you let the first dragon out of its cage!
Gobber: Ah, you don't know that.
Stoick: I do know that.
Gobber: No you don't.
Stoick: No, actually, I do.
Gobber: No, you don't!
Stoick: Listen, you know what he's like. From the time he could crawl he's been... different. He doesn't listen, he has the attention span of a sparrow... I take him fishing and he goes hunting for, for trolls!
Gobber: Trolls exist! They steal your socks. But only the left ones. What's with that?
Stoick: When I was a boy...
Gobber: Oh here we go.
Stoick: ...my father told me to bang my head against a rock and I did it! I thought I was crazy, but I didn't question him. And you know what happened?
Gobber: You got a headache.
Stoick: That rock split in two! It taught me what a Viking can do, Gobber, he can, he can crush mountains, level forests, tame seas! Even as a boy, I knew what I was, what I had to become... Hiccup is not that boy.
Gobber: You can't stop him, Stoick. You can only prepare him. I know it seems hopeless, but the truth is you won't always be around to protect him! He's going to get out there again. He's probably out there now!
Hiccup: [narrating] My name's Hiccup. Great name, I know. But, it's not the worst. Parents believe a hideous name will frighten off gnomes and trolls. Like our charming Viking demeanor wouldn't do that.
Viking: [screams in Hiccup's face] RAAAAHHHR!
Hiccup: [about Berk's dragon problem] Most people would leave. Not us. We're Vikings. We... have stubbornness issues.
[Hiccup prepares to open one of the dragon pens]
Fishlegs: If you're planning on getting eaten, I'd definitely go with the Gronkle.
[Hiccup turns in surprise and sees his entire class lined up behind him]
Tuffnut: [approaching] You were wise to seek help from the world's most deadly weapon...
Tuffnut: It's me.
Snotlout: [shoves Tuffnut aside] I love this plan!
Hiccup: I... didn't...
Ruffnut: [shoves Snotlout aside] You're crazy!
[leans in, flirtatiously]
Ruffnut: I like that...
Astrid: [firmly yanks her away] So... what is the plan?
Hiccup: Aw, come on, let me out, please? I need to make my mark!
Gobber: Oh, you've made plenty of marks! All in the wrong places!
Hiccup: Please, two minutes! I'll kill a dragon, my life will get infinitely better... I might even get a date!
Gobber: You can't lift a hammer, you can't swing an axe, you can't even throw one of these!
[holds up a set of bolas]
Hiccup: [gesturing to a catapult machine of his own making] Okay fine, but this will throw it for me!
[He touches the machine and it fires a set of bolas through the window, knocking out another Viking]
Gobber: See, now this right here is what I'm talkin' about!
Hiccup: It, it... mild calibration issue, I...
Gobber: Don't you... no, Hiccup! If you ever want to get out there to fight dragons, you need to stop all... this.
[gestures to all of Hiccup]
Hiccup: But you just pointed to all of me!
Gobber: Yes! That's it! Stop being all of you!
Hiccup: [annoyed, squinting sideways at him] Oh...
Gobber: Oh, yeah!
Hiccup: You, sir, are playing a dangerous game! Keeping this much raw... viking-ness... contained! There'll be consequences!
Gobber: [deadpan] I'll take my chances.
[heaves a dented sword into Hiccup's hands]
Gobber: Sword. Sharpened. Now.
[riding on Toothless's back with Hiccup]
Astrid: All right, I admit it. This is pretty cool. It's... *amazing*. He's amazing.
Hiccup: [Walking through the forest and crossing out his map] Oh, the gods hate me. Some people lose their knife or their mug... No, not me, I manage to lose an entire *dragon*?
[Hits a branch and it lashes back, smacking him in the face]
Gobber: Look for its blind spot! Every dragon has one. Find it, hide in it, and strike!
[Tuffnut and Ruffnut huddle in front of the dragon's face]
Ruffnut: [sniffing] Whoa! Do you *ever* bathe?
Tuffnut: You don't like it, then just get your own blind spot!
[they shove at each other]
Ruffnut: How about I give *you* one...!
[the dragon blasts fire at them, they run for cover]
Gobber: Blind spot, yes. Deaf spot... Not so much.
Stoick: [as Hiccup tries to sneak past] Hiccup.
Hiccup: Dad! Uh, I have to talk to you, Dad.
Stoick: I need to speak with you too, son.
[They both take deep breaths, then both speak at once]
Stoick: I think it's time you learned to fight dragons.
Hiccup: I've decided I don't want to fight dragons.
Stoick: Uh, you go first.
Hiccup: No no, no, *you* go first.
Stoick: All right. You get your wish. Dragon training. You start in the morning.
Hiccup: Oh, man, I should have gone first... Because, I was thinking, you know, we have a surplus of dragon-fighting Vikings, but do we have enough... *bread-making* Vikings, or small home-repair Vikings...?
Hiccup: [Stoick has just thrust a large battle axe into his hands] I... don't wanna fight dragons.
Stoick: [chuckles] Oh, come on, yes you do.
Hiccup: Rephrase: Dad, I *can't* kill dragons.
Stoick: But you *will* kill dragons!
Hiccup: No, I'm really, very extra sure that I *won't*.
Stoick: It's time, Hiccup...
Hiccup: Can you not *hear* me?
Stoick: This is *serious*, son. When you carry this axe, you carry all of us with you. Which means, you walk like us, you talk like us, and you think like us. No more of... this!
[gestures to all of Hiccup]
Hiccup: [miffed] You just gestured to *all* of me.
Hiccup: This conversation is feeling very one-sided...
Hiccup: [sighs, giving in] Deal.
Hiccup: [to Stoick] Thanks for stopping by and for the, uh, the breast-hat...
Fishlegs: [being chased by a Nadder] AHHH! I'm *really* beginning to question your teaching methods.
Snotlout: If that dragon shows either of its faces, I'm gonna... there!
[He and Tuffnut throw their buckets of water]
[the gas clears]
Ruffnut: Hey! It's us, idiots!
Tuffnut: Your butts are getting bigger! We thought you were a dragon!
Snotlout: Not that there's anything wrong with a dragon-esque fig...
[Astrid punches Snotlout, Ruffnut throws her bucket at Tuffnut's head]
[a Gronkle is let out into the training ring]
Gobber: Today is about survival. If you get blasted, you're dead. Quick! What's the first thing you're going to need?
Hiccup: A doctor?
Fishlegs: Plus five speed?
Astrid: A shield!
Gobber: Shield! Go!
[the teens scramble around to grab shields]
Gobber: Your most important piece of equipment is your shield! If you must make a choice between a sword or a shield, take the shield!
Stoick: Either we finish them, or they'll finish us! It's the only way we'll be rid of them! If we find the nest and destroy it, the dragons will leave. They'll find another home! One more search, before the ice sets in.
Viking: Those ships never come back!
Stoick: We're Vikings! It's an occupational hazard. So, who's with me?
[Muttering and mumbling, most of the Vikings decline]
Stoick: All right. Those who stay will look after Hiccup.
Viking: To the ships!
Viking: I'm with you, Stoick!
Stoick: Aye, that's more like it.
Astrid: Careful with that dragon.
Hiccup: [looking at his father] It's... not the dragon I'm worried about.
Astrid: What are you gonna do?
Hiccup: Put an end to this. I have to try. Astrid, if something... goes wrong, just make sure they don't find Toothless.
Astrid: I will. Just... promise me it won't go wrong.
Gobber: [Slapping a thick book on the table] The Dragon Manual. Everything we know about every dragon we know of.
Gobber: No attacks tonight. Study up.
Tuffnut: Wait, you mean *read*?
Ruffnut: While we're still alive?
Snotlout: Why read words when you can just kill the stuff the words tell you stuff about?
Fishlegs: [eagerly] Oh! I've read it like, seven times. There's this water dragon that sprays boiling water at your face, and, and there's this other one, that buries itself for like a week...
Tuffnut: [interrupting] Yeah, that sounds great. There was a chance I was gonna read that...
Ruffnut: But, now...?
Hiccup: [watching the dragons take off with their livestock] Okay, but I hit a Night Fury.
[Stoick grabs him and begins hauling him up the hill]
Hiccup: Ahh, it's not like the last few times, Dad, I mean, I *really* actually hit it! You guys were busy and I had a very clear shot, it went down just off Raven Point. Let's get a search party out there before it...
Stoick: STOP! Just... stop. Everytime you step outside, disaster falls. Can you not see that I have bigger problems? Winter is almost here and I have an entire village to feed!
Hiccup: Eh, between you and me, the village could do with a little *less* feeding, don't you think?
[the Vikings behind him touch their stomachs self-consciously]
Stoick: This isn't a joke, Hiccup! Agh, why can't you follow the simplest orders?
Hiccup: I - I can't stop myself! I see a dragon and I have to just... kill it, you know? It's who I am, Dad.
Stoick: Oh, you are many things, Hiccup. But a dragon killer is not one of them. Get back to the house.
Stoick: Make sure he gets there! I have his mess to clean up.
[Gobber smacks Hiccup upside the head to get him walking]
Tuffnut: [to Hiccup] Quite the performance.
Snotlout: I've never seen anyone mess up that badly. That *helped*!
Hiccup: Thank you, thank you, I was trying, so...
[Hiccup finds the downed Night Fury]
Hiccup: Oh, wow... I-I did it! Oh, I did it! This, this fixes everything! *Yes*! I have brought down this mighty beast...!
[he places a foot on the Night Fury and it stirs, making him jump back in alarm; he pulls out his small knife and approaches cautiously, looking the dragon in the eyes]
Hiccup: [breathing nervously] I'm gonna kill you dragon. I'm gonna... I'm gonna cut out your heart and take it to my father. I'm a Viking. I am a *Viking*!
[He takes a deep breath and raises the knife; their eyes meet, the dragon's wide and frightened; Hiccup shakes himself and lifts the knife higher as the dragon goes limp; Hiccup drops his arm, frustrated, and looks from the knife to the dragon]
Hiccup: [remorseful] I did this...
[he kneels and cuts the ropes, freeing the dragon]
Hiccup: [sarcastically, as the dragons drop their kill into the glowing chasm of their nest] Oh, it's satisfying to know that all of our food has been dumped down a hole.
Gobber: Behind these doors are just a few of the many species you will learn to fight. The Deadly Nadder...
Fishlegs: [speaking rapidly] Speed Eight, Armor Sixteen...
Gobber: The Hideous Zippleback...
Fishlegs: Plus Eleven Stealth, times Two...
Gobber: The Monstrous Nightmare...
Fishlegs: Firepower Fifteen...
Gobber: The Terrible Terror...
Fishlegs: Attack Eight, Venom Twelve...
Gobber: [shouts] Can you stop that?
Gobber: And... the Gronckle!
Fishlegs: [whispering to Hiccup] Jaw Strength Eight.
Stoick: Well, I can show my face in public again! If someone told me that in a few short weeks, Hiccup would go from, well, being, uh... *Hiccup*, to placing first in dragon training? Well, I would have tied him to a mast and shipped him off, for fear he'd gone mad!
Stoick: And you know it! But, here we are. And no one's more surprised... or more *proud*, than I am. Today, my boy becomes a Viking. Today, he becomes one of us!
Tuffnut: Oh, I'm hurt! I am very much hurt!
Stoick: [confronts Hiccup about his friendship with Toothless] I should have known. I should have seen the signs.
Stoick: We had a deal!
Hiccup: I know, we did, but that was before I, I... agh, it's all so messed up...
Stoick: So everything in the ring... A trick? A lie!
Hiccup: I screwed up. I should have told you before now; just... take this out on *me*, be mad at *me*, but please... just don't hurt Toothless!
Stoick: [shocked] The dragon? *That's* what you're worried about? Not the people you almost killed?
Hiccup: H-he was just protecting me! He's not dangerous!
Stoick: They've killed *hundreds* of us!
Hiccup: And we've killed *thousands* of them! They defend themselves, that's all! They raid us because they have to! If they don't bring enough food back, they'll be eaten themselves! There's, something *else* on their island, Dad, it... It's a dragon like...
Stoick: [interrupting] Their *island*! So you've been to the nest...
Hiccup: [realizes his mistake] Did I say nest?
Stoick: [demandingly] How did you find it?
Hiccup: What, no, I, I didn't! Toothless did, only a dragon can find the island!
[Stoick pauses; Hiccup realizes what he is thinking]
Hiccup: Oh no, Dad, no please, it's not what you think, you don't know what you're up against, it's like nothing you've ever seen!
[Stoick shoves Hiccup out of the way]
Hiccup: Dad please, I promise you, you can't win this one! Dad, no!
[Stoick continues to walk away. Hiccup runs up to him and grabs his arm, on the brink of tears]
Hiccup: For *once* in your *life*, would you please just *listen* to me?
Stoick: [throws him aside] You've thrown your lot in with *them*. You're not a Viking... You're not my son.
[leaves and closes the door behind him]
Stoick: READY THE SHIPS!
Snotlout: [to Astrid, during training] So anyway, uh, I moved into my parents' basement? You should come by some time to work out. You look like you work out!
[his shield is knocked out by a Gronkle's fireball]
Gobber: Snotlout, you're done!
Hiccup: [to Astrid] So I guess it's just you and me, huh?
Astrid: Nope, just you.
[she dodges away and Hiccup's shield is hit by the Gronkle's fire]
Gobber: Today is about teamwork! The Hideous Zippleback is extra tricky. One head *breathes* gas, the other head *lights* it. Your job, is to know which is which!
Fishlegs: [whispering] Razor-sharp serrated teeth that inject venom for pre-digestion. Prefers ambush attack, crushing its victims...
Hiccup: Will you *please* stop that?
Gobber: Welcome to Dragon Training!
Astrid: No turning back.
Tuffnut: I hope I get some serious burns!
Ruffnut: I'm hoping for some mauling, like, on my shoulder or lower back.
Astrid: Yeah, it's only fun if you get a scar out of it.
Hiccup: [deadpan] Yeah, no kidding, right? Pain. Love it.
Tuffnut: Oh great, who let *him* in?
Viking: Get to the ships!
Stoick: No, no...!
[the Green Death blasts the Viking ships, trapping the Vikings on the beach]
Gobber: Smart, that one.
Stoick: I was a fool. Lead the men to the far side of the island!
Stoick: Gobber, go with the men!
Gobber: I think I'll stay, just in case you're thinking of doing something crazy.
Stoick: I can buy them a few minutes if I give that thing something to hunt!
Gobber: [takes his hand] Then I can double that time.
Gobber: And with one twist, he took my hand and swallowed it whole. And I saw the look on his face. I was delicious! He must have passed the word, because it wasn't a month before another one of them took my leg!
[gestures to his fake leg]
Fishlegs: Isn't it weird to think that your hand was inside a dragon? Like if your mind was still in control of it, you could have killed that dragon from the inside, by... crushing its heart, or something.
Snotlout: I swear, I'm so angry right now! I'll avenge your beautiful hand and your beautiful foot. I'll chop off the legs of every dragon I fight... with my face!
Gobber: Uh-uh-uh, no. It's the wings and the tails you really want. If it can't fly, it can't get away. A *downed* dragon... is a dead dragon.
Viking man: Night Fury! Get down!
Snotlout: [on top of the Green Death, whacking its eyes with his hammer] I can't miss! What's wrong, buddy? Got somethin' in your eye?
Fishlegs: Chances of survival are dwindling into single-digits now...
Gobber: [to Hiccup during dragon training] Don't worry. You're small and you're weak. That'll make you less of a target! They'll see you as sick or insane and go after the more viking-like teens instead.