The fact that this abortive TV pilot was never aired alone speaks volumes about just how incredibly lame, insipid, and instantly forgettable this 24-minute clunker is. The story is nothing more than a very tepid and condensed rehash of the original film that's done with none of the wit, charm and warmth which made the movie such a gut-busting blast. Instead we get a lot of dumb, obvious, and not remotely amusing jokes that quite simply don't manage to tickle the funny bone even to a moderate degree. Rob Stone as the cocky Louis Skolnick and Lightfield Lewis as his awkward best friend Gilbert Lowe are merely adequate in the leads, but lack the gangly appeal of Robert Carradine and Anthony Edwards. Grant Gelt as precocious little squirt Harold Wormser, Robbie Rist as jolly hippie slob Booger, Jeff Benson as sneering Neanderthal thug Ogre, and Sean Kanan as arrogant evil jock Todd Channing are likewise strictly okay in their roles. Only Richard Gant as tough adviser P.T. Turner manages to bring some life to his part. The presence of adorable onetime "Playboy" Playmate Julie McCullough as a snobby cheerleader helps a bit as well, but Peter Baldwin's bland direction and Eric Cohen's blah and uninspired script reduce the whole enterprise to your standard generic and unremarkable flash-in-the-pan sitcom. If you haven't seen this, then you ain't missing anything.