Stan Helsing (2009) Poster

(2009)

Steve Howey: Stan Helsing

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Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Steve Howey in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson and Steve Howey in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Diora Baird, and Jeremy Crittenden in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Steve Howey in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson and Steve Howey in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Travis MacDonald, Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, Desi Lydic, and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Leslie Nielsen, Kenan Thompson, and Steve Howey in Stan Helsing (2009) Steve Howey in Stan Helsing (2009) Kenan Thompson, Steve Howey, and Desi Lydic in Stan Helsing (2009) Steve Howey and Diora Baird in Stan Helsing (2009) Chad Krowchuk and Steve Howey in Stan Helsing (2009) 16 more photos

Quotes 

  • Nadine : I can't believe I ever went out with you.

    Stan Helsing : The best six weeks of your life.

    Nadine : It was two weeks.

    Stan Helsing : Yeah, but I was doing you in my mind for the other four.

  • Stan Helsing : [looks up Mia's undies]  I think now it would be a great time for a reverse POV.

  • [first lines] 

    Stan Helsing : [picking up a ringing phone]  Schlockbuster. Happy Halloween.

    [pause] 

    Stan Helsing : Yeah yeah yeah, we carry porn.

    [pause] 

    Stan Helsing : What do I recommend? Well... "Schindler's Fist", "How Stella Got Her Tube Packed", "Six Degrees of Penatration". This is a good one. "Glad He Ate Her".

    [pause] 

    Stan Helsing : Yeah, yeah, okay. You're welcome, Grandma.

  • Mason : We're not gonna go that easy.

    Stan Helsing : Oh, actually, you both have the same weakness.

  • Stan Helsing : [confronted by a giant cockroach in a restroom stall]  Oh, cock... roach. Sorry, dude! I thought this was available, but it's okay. I don't actually need it, 'cause I just pissed myself. You look tense. Uh... you need a magazine? Toilet paper? Here, I'll get you a magazine.

    [the giant cockroach grabs Stan] 

    Stan Helsing : Ah, I see you're a fan of the Kobe Bryant position.

  • Stan Helsing : [they are driving along the highway, their car is in the left lane; he says to the driver]  Teddy, there's a MILF alert, 3 o'clock.

    Mia : [confused]  What's a MILK alert?

  • Stan Helsing : [on the highway, telling his friends what he just saw in the car that was next to theirs]  That doll mimed a blowjob and started smacking his ass! That's so weird.

    Nadine : [sarcastically]  No, no, no, no. That's not weird at all. It's, you know, it's a MILF driving a car with a doll that's miming a blowjob and spanking his ass. Yeah, yeah.

    Teddy : [facetiously]  Sounds perfectly normal.

    Mia : My brother said I used to give his GI Joe doll a boner.

    Nadine : Okay, you probably want to keep that to yourself.

  • Stan Helsing : This van just went from an automatic to a stick shift, Teddy got a boner.

  • Lucky : And what's my weakness?

    Stan Helsing : Dude, you're a doll.

  • Nadine : [the foursome are cooing over a puppy]  He kind of looks like that dog we hit on the road.

    Crazy : You mean Sammy boy? That's Sammy boy's son, this is Sammy boy.

    [Camera cuts to a fierce looking Rottweiler with bolts in it's neck reminiscent of Boris Karloff's version of Frankenstein's monster] 

    Stan Helsing : Hi Sammy boy. Looking good. Nice job. You can barely notice.

    Crazy : He hasn't been the same since you him with your car. He can't eat, now he's starving!

    Teddy : Have yo tried Ensure? They're these little milkshakes we gave to my grandfather one time when he couldn't poop. It was awlful.

    Crazy : Sammy needs meat!

    Stan Helsing : There was a Sizzler that we just passed on the way over here.

    Crazy : [creepily]  Raw meat.

    Stan Helsing : You don't have to cook it.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs


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