Dr. Matsutani: [confiscating Larry's phone] They call them smart phones, but only dummies use them in my class.
Lamar: I told you how to avoid divorce lawyers. You get married, and you stay married.
Dr. Matsutani: This is college, there's only two things you can't do: smoke in the building and use your phone in my class.
[holds out his hand]
Mercedes Tainot: Larry, you're a great student. I'm not an easy A.
Mercedes Tainot: I'm divorcing a professor-turned-writer-turned-blogger with the libido of a 13 year-old and two published books to his credit.
Dean Tainot: [to Mercedes] You know, I know what really pisses you off. What is really pissing you off is that I like big knockers and you don't have any!... Maybe I should take that back.
Mercedes Tainot: [to Larry] Would you... Would you like to kiss me? Just if you... If you wanted to kiss me, it would really be your lucky night, because I'm half in the bag and my husband won't be home for, you know, three to five years.
Mercedes Tainot: [low-key, dark sunglasses] Last night was a confluence of too many things happening in too short of a time span. Yeah. I believe there was an inappropriate exchange between teacher and student. I was worked up and under the influence of the demon rum. Reminded me of a spotty incident I once had with a parking lot attendant, which was... At any rate, I hope the entire thing can be forgiven and forgotten. If gossip of this nature were to circulate, it would be not only embarrassing, but my status as a professor could be tarnished.
Larry Crowne: Well, I wouldn't want that.
Mercedes Tainot: So, no bragging to your pals about almost scoring with the drunken professor.
Larry Crowne: [nodding yes] Well, I should scurry along. Hope I don't have the same conversation with Dr. Matsutani...