Dr. Matsutani: They call them smart phones, but only dummies use them in my class.

Mercedes Tainot: Are you clairvoyant?

Steve Dibiasi: No... Steve Dibiasi...

Talia Francesco: Hey - we all got free tattoos. I wanted something in Japanese so check this out.

[Shows tattoo]

Talia Francesco: That one says courage, that one says spirit. Courageous spirit.

Larry Crowne: That's Chinese, and it says soy sauce.

Lamar: I told you how to avoid divorce lawyers. You get married, and you stay married.

Dr. Matsutani: This is college, there's only two things you can't do: smoke in the building and use your phone in my class.

Mercedes Tainot: Larry, you're a great student. I'm not an easy A.

Pizza Delivery Boy: You're a babe.

Mercedes Tainot: [Talking to class] So, get out. Get out, now! Go, right now! Go!

Mercedes Tainot: [No one moves] It was worth a try.

Mercedes Tainot: I'm divorcing a professor-turned-writer-turned-blogger with the libido of a 13 year-old and two published books to his credit.

Dean Tainot: You know, I know what really pisses you off. What is really pissing you off is that I like big knockers and you don't have any!