Dirty Grandpa (2016)
Zac Efron: Jason Kelly
Photos
Quotes
-
Cousin Nick : Fuckin' sucks dick about grandma, huh? Old woman fuckin' murdered like that.
Jason Kelly : I think she had cancer.
Cousin Nick : We'll never know the truth.
Jason Kelly : We absolutely know the truth. Grandma had cancer for ten years.
Cousin Nick : You don't just die from cancer, Jason.
-
Jason Kelly : [shows up in a yellow sweater and plaid slacks] Well, how do I look?
Dick Kelly : Like the keynote speaker at a butt-fucking convention.
-
Dick Kelly : We have a long standing bet - who's the better golfer. Obviously I've got the bigger three wood.
Lenore : Good. Maybe you can use it to hit your balls right into my vagina.
Jason Kelly : Holy shit.
-
Jason Kelly : Being a corporate lawyer is awesome. I get to handle SCC compliance...
Dick Kelly : No shit.
Jason Kelly : Yeah, yeah.
Dick Kelly : You handle SCC compliance?
Jason Kelly : LP agreements...
Dick Kelly : Oh, man! I didn't know that!
Jason Kelly : LLC agreements...
Dick Kelly : You're shitting me.
Jason Kelly : Being a corporate lawyer, you know, it's got its upsides.
Dick Kelly : You know what I'd rather do?
Jason Kelly : What?
Dick Kelly : I'd rather let Queen Latifah shit in my mouth from a fucking hot air balloon.
-
Jason Kelly : I don't think you're very popular here, Grandpa.
Dick Kelly : You're the one that's going to have to watch out. You might get Oreo'd.
Jason Kelly : Oreo'd?
Dick Kelly : That's when two black guys fuck a white guy. You're the cream in the middle.
-
Dick Kelly : You're like some sort of cock blocking terminator sent back from the future to cock block humans.
Jason Kelly : [Sarcastic hand gestures] Ah, got ya.
Dick Kelly : The robots should've sent you instead of Arnold Schwarzenegger, you could've cock blocked John Conners' parents and he never would've been born.
Jason Kelly : *Shut up Grandpa. Shut up*