- Rainbow Dash: [Rainbow Dash has just rescued a baby pony and its carriage from running off a cliff] Oh no! There's something wrong with the baby!
- [crowd gasps]
- Rainbow Dash: She's not cheering for everypony's favorite hero, Rainbow Dash!
- [everypony cheers and takes pictures]
- Scootaloo: There just aren't enough words in the dictionary to describe Rainbow Dash's awesomeness.
- Twilight Sparkle: I can think of a few new words.
- Applejack: And I bet "modest" is not one of them.
- Twilight Sparkle: No, but she is kinda awesome.
- Scootaloo: [first lines, in the Cutie Mark Crusaders' tree/clubhouse] Attention, everypony! Attention! The official Rainbow Dash Fan Club will come to order. Let's get right down to our first order of business. I motion that Rainbow Dash be declared the most awesome pony in Ponyville.
- Snails: I second the motion, and might I add that if you looked up the word "awesome" in the dictionary, there would be a picture of Rainbow Dash.
- [ponies agreeing]
- Snips: I object!
- [collective gasp]
- Snips: I think the word 'awesome' is played out! Rainbow Dash deserves better! I motion that we declare her the most stupendous pony!
- Scootaloo: "Stupendous"? Is that the best you've got? I motion that we declare her... wonderiffic!
- Snips: Astonishing!
- Scootaloo: Breathtaking!
- Snips: Astounding!
- Scootaloo: Bedazzling!
- Rainbow Dash: [from outside the clubhouse] What about super-ultra-extreme-awesomazing?
- [ponies agreeing]
- Scootaloo: All in favor of declaring Rainbow Dash the most "super-ultra-extra-ah- whatever you said" pony in all of Ponyville, say "aye"!
- Fan club: Aye!
- Rainbow Dash: [giggles]
- Twilight Sparkle: Call me silly, but this whole hero thing might be going to Rainbow Dash's head.
- Pinkie Pie: You may be right, silly.
- Rainbow Dash: And then, I zoomed into the well. I knew it would be dark and dangerous, but I didn't let that stop me. Danger's my middle name. Rainbow "Danger" Dash. Thinking back on it, I acted pretty awesomely heroic that day.
- Spike: [writing everything she says] That day.
- Applejack: Awesomely heroic that day and awesomely *arrogant* ever since.
- Pinkie Pie, Twilight Sparkle: Mm-hm.
- Rainbow Dash: Hey, Applejack. How'd you like to be *immortalized* as my friend?
- [grabs her closer in an awkward embrace]
- Applejack: Immorta-what?
- [camera clicking]
- Twilight Sparkle: [to Spike] Are you taking notes?
- Spike: Yup! I've been hoof-picked by Rainbow Dash herself, to write her autobiography!
- Twilight Sparkle: Umm, autobiographies are supposed to be written *by* the pony they are about...
- Rainbow Dash: Maybe for your normal, run-of-the-mill ponies. But I'm far too busy saving lives to stop and write. That's why I hired Spike as my ghost writer.
- Pinkie Pie: [yelps] Spike's a ghost!
- [she zips out of the room]
- Pony: Holy turnips, that pony came outta nowhere!
- Daisy: I've never seen such bravery in all my life!
- Mayor Mare: That's right! Ponyville has a new hero. A mysterious mare that has done well by our fair city today. I dub this new masked hero "The Mysterious Mare Do Well"!
- [ponies cheering]
- Rainbow Dash: Mare Do Well, huh? Well that mare would do well to stay outta my way! Ponyville's only got room for one hero, and that hero is me!
- Rainbow Dash: [flying near a cart full of ponies careening down a steep hill] Never fear, your friendly neighborhood Rainbow...
- Stallion tourist: Excuse me, uh, do you think you could skip your catchphrase and just hurry up and save us?
- Applejack: Gotta hand it to the girl, that Mare Do Well sure can pull off some pretty heroic feats.
- Twilight Sparkle: I must say, I was impressed by that spell she used to fix the dam. Seems like something like that would take quite a bit of study.
- [Rainbow Dash growls]
- Fluttershy: She really cares about everypony's safety.
- Rarity: Have you *seen* her costume? It is to die for! If you ask me she's a hero of fashion.
- Applejack: *And* she's modest *and* humble. She lets her actions speak for themselves. Gotta admire that.
- Rainbow Dash: I *don't* have to admire that! I don't think she's all that great!
- Spike: [writing] She's... great.
- Rainbow Dash: I didn't say that.
- Twilight Sparkle: Sounds like somepony's jealous.
- Rainbow Dash: Who, me?
- Spike: [writing] Rainbow Dash is jealous.
- Rainbow Dash: Don't write that, Spike!
- [others laughing]
- Spike: Correction: Rainbow Dash is *very* jealous.
- Rainbow Dash: Fine! Laugh all you want, but I'll be the one laughing when I prove to you all that I'm just as good- no, that I'm a *better* hero than Mare Do Well!
- [angrily flies away as the others make different exasperated looks]
- Rainbow Dash: Rrgh, there are absolutely no freak natural disasters going on anywhere! How am I supposed to prove myself when everything's so normal and safe?
- [gasps; sees Granny Smith about to cross the street]
- Rainbow Dash: Hold it right there, Granny Smith! You don't have to pretend with me. I can see that you're in way over your head here.
- Granny Smith: [mumbling, deploying an ear trumpet] Eh, what's that?
- Rainbow Dash: You're putting on a brave face, I get it. But you don't have to anymore. I'll help you cross the street!
- Granny Smith: [She gets her head behind Granny's rump and starts bulldozing, prompting the latter to grunt angrily and dig in her hooves] Actually I can cross the street just fine!
- Rainbow Dash: [with effort] Don't worry. You're in extremely capable hooves!
- Granny Smith: [Granny resists] Back off!
- Rainbow Dash: [panting and being overly-obvious with her subtext] Here we are! Safe and sound. A good and heroic citizen deserves a little recognition, *don't you think*?
- Granny Smith: I didn't wanna cross the street in the first place!
- [complains and walks squeakily away]
- Rainbow Dash: [grunting is heard from offscreen] Somepony's in trouble!
- [Sparkler, a unicorn, is trying to open a jar of peanut butter. She is having a picnic with Tootsie Flute, a younger filly]
- Rainbow Dash: Better let me handle this, ma'am. For your own safety, I must ask you to stand back!
- Sparkler: [wearily] Oh, brother.
- [Rainbow Dash tries to open the jar with her mouth and teeth, but with no success. Sparkler levitates the jar away from Rainbow, taps it against the edge of a nearby fountain, and re-presents the jar to Rainbow. Rainbow is now able to pop the lid off effortlessly]
- Rainbow Dash: Ta-da!
- [Sparkler floats it back to herself]
- Sparkler: [spreading on bread] Uh... thanks.
- Rainbow Dash: How would you describe what I just did? Would you say I was amazing?
- Sparkler: Aren't you milking this a bit?
- Rainbow Dash: Please, just answer the question. Was I or was I not amazing?
- Sparkler: [annoyed] Oh, you're amazing alright. An amazingly...
- Rainbow Dash: Oh look!
- [she zips over to an push-style cylinder lawn mower and begins pushing it all over an area of the lawn, trimming it down]
- Rainbow Dash: Another great feat of heroism! I have just saved that grass!
- Groundskeeper: From what?
- [she crouches to eye it closely]
- Rainbow Dash: From weeds! Weeds that were attempting to eat this lawn!
- Tootsie Flute: [several other unimpressed ponies have gathered to watch the spectacle] Lame...
- [everypony walks away, one mutters "whatever"]
- Rainbow Dash: [depressed] Aww, who am I kidding?
- Twilight Sparkle: Celebrating your accomplishments is natural. But...
- Applejack: ...Rubbin' them in everypony's face is not.
- Pinkie Pie: Yeah, the only thing that should be rubbed in anypony's face is chocolate cake.
- [she begins licking her front hooves]
- Applejack: I think we're getting off topic here.
- Twilight Sparkle: What we're trying to say is, it's great to be really good at something, but it's important to act with grace and humility.
- Rainbow Dash: Ohhhh. That makes *loads* more sense. Yeah. You're right. And I guess I should've also acted with grace and humility when others outshine me. Like Mare Do Well.
- Twilight Sparkle: Sounds like you've got a letter to write to Princess Celestia.
- Spike: [Approaches Rainbow Dash] Already got it covered! As your ghost writer, I already penned a letter to the Princess!
- Rainbow Dash: That's nice of you, Spike, but, I really wanna write this letter myself.
- Spike: Awww... come on! I wrote the whole thing already!
- [opens the scroll and holds it in front of Rainbow Dash]
- Rainbow Dash: Okay, let's hear it.
- Spike: [clears throat] Dear Princess Cel...
- Rainbow Dash: [Suddenly points behind Spike] Look out! It's a real ghost!
- [Spike and Pinkie Pie look the way she's pointing and scream and run away, everypony else laughs, then Twilight Sparkle levitates a scroll and quill in front of Rainbow Dash. Rainbow Dash grabs the quill with her mouth, then winks to the viewers before the screen draws to a close]
- Rainbow Dash: [after chasing Mare Do Well throughout Ponyville, she soon manages to tackle her and pins her to the ground] All right, Miss Mysterious. Mystery...
- [pulls the mask off with her mouth]
- Rainbow Dash: solved!
- [looks to see who's under the mask and is shocked]
- Rainbow Dash: Wha?
- [Camera cuts to reveal it's Pinkie Pie under the mask, who makes a nervous smile]
- Rainbow Dash: P-p-p-Pinkie? Whadidya, whadida, whadda, huh?
- [a second Mare Do Well approaches and unmasks, revealing it's Twilight Sparkle]
- Rainbow Dash: Twilight?
- [a third Mare Do Well approaches and unmasks, revealing Applejack]
- Rainbow Dash: Applejack? There were three of you?
- Twilight Sparkle: Yep, we all played Mare Do Well at different times.
- Applejack: I stopped the carriage bus with these babies,
- [gestures to her back legs]
- Applejack: Bucky McGillicudy and Kicks McGee.
- Pinkie Pie: And I saved the construction workers with my Pinkie Sense.
- [her tail suddenly twitches then she quickly moves and pushes Rainbow Dash out of the way of a flowerpot that falls off a windowsill]
- Pony: [Looking down from the window] Sorry!
- Pinkie Pie: It's okay.
- Twilight Sparkle: And I used my magic to fix the dam.
- [magically levitates her Mare Do Well hat over her head]
- Fluttershy: [Runs up beside Twilight Sparkle] Ooh! Ooh! And I did that flyby afterwards.
- Rarity: [Approaches Rainbow Dash] And I made the costumes, fabulous if I do say so myself.
- Rainbow Dash: I don't understand... why? Don't you want me to be a hero?
- Twilight Sparkle: Of course we want you to be a hero.
- Applejack: But a real hero doesn't brag!
- [winks]
- Rainbow Dash: I guess I did start to brag a little...
- Rarity, Pinkie Pie, Applejack, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy: A little?
- Rainbow Dash: Okay... a lot.