Martin Short / Martin Short age 17 / Charlie Short / Irving Cohen / Birth Father / Conductor / Norbert / Pierre De La Salle
Princess Anne
Mason Macgillivray
Midwife
Mr. Mortimer Rickards
Atticus Finch
Self
Jennifer
Teacher
Stan
Kim Chee
Devon
Gwen
Leona
Conrad Black
Sarah Ferguson
Ms Dubose
Secretary (as Adrienne Merrell)
Rapper
Olive
Rabbi
Trevor
Tina
Nora
Priest
Mother (as Katherine Greenwood)
Addison Short
Indian Chief
Rap Referee
Martin Short age 8
Bully #1
Mini Princess
Justin Bieber (as Martin Segal)
Indian #1
Ti-Cat Player 1
Tibetan Monk
Football Referee
Marty Dancer #1 (as Melissa Moore)
Marty Dancer #2
Fred's Girlfriend
Schnooki
Dancer #1
Puppet Show Child #5 (uncredited)
Puppet Show Child (uncredited)
Statue of David (uncredited)
Marionette (uncredited)