Gru: You told me my father died of disappointment the day I was born!
Agnes: The soup of the day, madame and monsieur. The Gummi Bears were my idea.
Gru: [Looks warily at soup] Mmm. Looks almost too good to even eat. Am I right?
Agnes: But I made it for you.
Gru: [Takes a spoonful, struggles to avoid retching] Mmm, mmm, mmm! Good soup! I love the combination...
Gru: ... of Gummi Bears and meat.
Balthazar Bratt: Hello, Gru. How's your transition coming? You know, from world's worst villain to world's worst agent.
[pulls out a gun and aims it at Gru]
Gru: [sarcastic] Oh, that's hilarious. You should be on TV.
[slaps the gun away]
Gru: Oh, that's right, you were!
[aims the Freeze Ray and aims it at Bratt]
Gru: But then you got canceled!
Balthazar Bratt: [kicks the Freeze Ray away; pulls out a humongous gun and aims it at Gru] Ha ha!
Gru: Oh, what about that?
[punches the gun away and squirts a squirt gun at Bratt]
Gru: Whaa...? Ah, girls!
[throws the squirt gun at Bratt and throws punches at him]
Balthazar Bratt: [dodges the punches] Dance fight!
[dodges and dances as Gru tries to catch him]
Margo: No, I meant to be tougher on them, not me!
Mel the Minion: [singing onstage in the Sing competition with other Minions] Pito pato milo mila taka tiki poulet tika Cepa la joi demitoka lana moule macarena. Pao leggis pabo pati mele cepa maka guta mami lebel mela mustache elle muchaaaa...
Dru: [to Gru] Your discomfort is hilarious!
Balthazar Bratt: You know, Clive, playing a villain on TV was fun... but being one in real life is even better! Heist music!
Clive the Robot: Here it comes.
[puts cassette on radio; "Take My Breath Away" plays]
Balthazar Bratt: What? Clive, what are you doing? How is that heist music!
Clive the Robot: Sorry, my bad.
[Flips cassette over; "Bad" by Michael Jackson plays]
Dru: [to Gru] Ready to be villains together?
Gru: How about we steal the largest diamond in the WORLD?
Lucy Wilde: [to Gru and Dru] Aw, it's so nice to see that you two are getting along. Oh, that's delightful. Not creepy at all. You're gonna stop now though, right?
Margo: Uh, it's okay to tell them no sometimes, too, you know. Moms need to be tough.
Balthazar Bratt: Jamone!
Military Guard: [steps on Bratt's bubble gum] Ew...
Valerie Da Vinci: [looking at a photo of Bratt's attack on a military ship] It's some kind of monster!
Silas: Wait, that's not a monster!
Silas: That's a man wearing shoulder pads. There's only one supervillain whose fashion sense is quite that dated... Balthazar Bratt. I want every agent on the scene immediately!
Balthazar Bratt: This is not over!
[overpowers Gru with gun]
Military Officer: [to Bratt as he attempts to steal the largest diamond in the world] Freeze!
[Bratt throws an exploding 80s rubix cube at him and other guards]
Gru: [sees a military ship covered in Bratt's bubble gum] WHAAA?
Lucy Wilde: Get ready!
Gru: Get ready for wha...
[Lucy propels him off his water bike and onto a military ship]
Gru: ... aaaaAAAAHH...
Balthazar Bratt: Hello, Gru.
[threatens Gru with his large gun]
Balthazar Bratt: Ha ha!
Gru: [knocks the gun away] Oh, what about that?
[squirts a squirt gun in Bratt's face]
Gru: Wha? Agh, girls!
[tries to punch Bratt, who slides beneath him]
Balthazar Bratt: Dance fight!
[dodges, dances, and sings all at once as Gru tries to catch him]
Dru: Face it, Gru! Villainy is in your blood!
Lucy Wilde: Nobody, NOBODY curses my daughter, you got that? Because if you mess with Margo, you mess with me! And I promise, you do not want to mess with me! Do you understand me?
Valerie Da Vinci: You let the most wanted villain just get away! You're fired!
Minion: [looks at a statue of a Gru relative and laughs; to another Minion] Hey, sesct Gru gon boobs!
Dru: [to Gru] I brought you here to continue the family business. Villainy is in your blood!
Gru: There's always a blind guy!
Agnes: [to the Scar Faced Man] You saw a for real, like, unicorn? What did it look like? Did you pet it? Did it smell like candy? Was it FLUFFY?
The Scar Faced Man: It was so fluffy... I thought I was gonna die!
[Agnes smiles and screams extremely loud]
Lucy Wilde: [outside the shop] Agnes!
[breaks in and severely attacks everyone]
Lucy Wilde: Excuse me!
[grabs a dart from someone and puts it in another person]
Lucy Wilde: Don't worry, I'm here!
[picks Agnes up]
Lucy Wilde: Are you okay?
Edith: Yeah, we're fine. Are you...?
Agnes: Unicorns are really real! And I'm gonna find ONE!
[happily runs outside the shop]
Lucy Wilde: [to everyone who is knocked out on the floor after she attacked them] Sorry. Went a little mamma bear on ya. You know, I heard a scream and... Yeah, okay. Have a good one!
[from TV Spot]
Gru: Minions, we're going back to villainy!
[from TV Spot]
Prisoner: [accidentally kicks a ball the the Minions, who take advantage of it] Hey, give that back!
[Minions refuse and attack]
Prisoner: [to a Minion after they all shower] We've been waiting a long time.
Prisoner: [Minion whips him with towel] No, no!
[from TV Spot]
[Minions come into prison room snapping fingers]
Prisoner: Oh, no. Run!
[show them a Hawaiian decorated tree]
Gru: [irritated] This is unexpected...
Margo: [puts a lei with flowers on it on Gru] Well, you never got to go on a honeymoon, so...
Edith: [recording with her phone] ... we made you dinner!
Agnes: It's a luau!
[hands Lucy a lei with flowers on it]
Agnes: We got pineapples and coconuts and ukuleles!
[drags Lucy as Margo drags Gru]
Gru: [irritated still] Oh, yay...
Balthazar Bratt: [Repeated line] I've been a bad boy!
Dru: [from trailer] My brother! Finally, I'm meeting you!
Valerie Da Vinci: [to Gru and Lucy] How could you let Balthazar Bratt just get away? You're fired!
Gru: I can't wait to meet my brother!
Gru: I'm going in!
Gru: I miss the Minions!