- Beverly Pell: Ta-da! Your lucky first-day sweater.
- Davis Pell: No, Mom! I thought you burned that.
- Beverly Pell: You've worn it on your first day for the last five years.
- Davis Pell: And every year has been a complete disaster. It kind of defeats the purpose of having a lucky sweater now, doesn't it?
- Davis Pell: You should come to the dance tonight.
- Vi: Definitely not my scene.
- Davis Pell: There's a good chance I might make a fool of myself.
- Vi: Slightly more tempting.
- [What else is there to know about vampires?]
- Vi: For instance, vampires are terrified of rabbits. They're incapable of singing "Happy Birthday." Oh, and this is an important one: If you beat a vampire in a staring contest, it renders them powerless.
- Caitlyn Crisp: Do you feel like you can be honest with me?
- Davis Pell: Uh... sure.
- Caitlyn Crisp: You're pale and you dress strangely.
- Davis Pell: Oh, YOU'RE starting with the honesty.
- Davis Pell: [voice-over] In fact, most people would say I'm kind of a dork. And you know what? They might have a point. I mean, look at this. I'm having an imaginary fight, and I'm losing.
- Ashton: Psst, hey.
- Davis Pell: What do you want? Need more footage of me acting like a jerk?
- Ashton: No, I've got plenty of that.
- Vi: For someone who already has an accent, you're terrible at accents.
- Davis Pell: Okay, well, first off, I'm not the one with an accent. You are.
- [Davis finishes his imaginary ninja battle with the imaginary Rayzon; Vi applauds slowly]
- Vi: I think you got 'em.
- Davis Pell: You didn't see all of that, did you?
- Vi: I think I can safely say I didn't see as much as you and Rayzon did.
- Davis Pell: [voice-over] Looks like I'm gonna get my wish. She does plan on killing me. Probably leave my body in the woods.
- Vi: So are you going to untie me now?
- Davis Pell: Well... maybe, but I'm thinking you're probably blaming me for all of this and that you might actually hit me.
- Vi: That's true, but I might also be grateful that you saved me and give you that kiss you've been looking for.
- Davis Pell: You don't need arms for that.