Johnny Carson: Self - Host

Quotes 

• Johnny Carson : [on Tommy handing him a promotional product]  When you do that, people think you don't like me; you come in, and you just - and then you run off... You know, come in with it... Just, you know, stand here and look like we're friends. People on the show should be close - we're like a family.

  Tommy Newsom : Well, uh... you got a buck?

  Johnny Carson : [laughs]  ... We just... we don't want to be that much of a family, Tom.

• Charles O. Finley : The reason for these, uh - in my opinion - uh, astronomical, unjustified salaries for athletes today, it's not - it's not the athletes, believe me. It's these stupid owners that, uh, go out and - and offer that kind of money.

  Johnny Carson : Well, now, you're an owner.

  Charles O. Finley : Yes, I am - but I don't go out, uh, throwin' my money down the drain like - like some of the others do.

• Johnny Carson : What's the Southern accent like?

  George Peppard : Well, John, I just did the Southern accent; you weren't listening yet.

  Johnny Carson : Oh, I didn't hear it.

  George Peppard : I see - well, you're not listening again.

  Johnny Carson : If I said, "Major Denton, uh, are the silos ready?", how would you - how would you answer that?

  George Peppard : Yes, suh.

  Johnny Carson : Ah... Four years in acting class for "Yes, suh"?... "Yes, suh?" I mean, that's...

  George Peppard : And another three years with Strasberg.

• Johnny Carson : If one wants to see this picture, when would - one might see it?

  George Peppard : Oh... God knows; I don't know when they're gonna put it out. I mean...

  Johnny Carson : Well, He gets in for nothing. But how for the rest of us?

• Dr. Geoffrey Bourne : [on Ringling Brothers' gorilla Gargantua]  He used to wind a rope 'round his arm, and fling the other end out of his cage - and five guys used to get on the other end of it, and he would do *that* and pull five guys off their feet. So that's pretty strong - that's stronger than most football players.

  Johnny Carson : So if a - so if a gorilla ever throws you a rope, don't...

  Dr. Geoffrey Bourne : Don't pull it.

  Johnny Carson : Obviously...

  George Peppard : Thanks, John.