- Karen Vick: A dongle is a security device.
- Shawn Spencer: Sure, for some people.
- Karen Vick: You stick it into your computer...
- Shawn Spencer: Not my computer. Not since high school. Jules, back me up on this?
- Juliet O'Hara: Shawn, stop talking.
- El Proveedor: [Pulls off Shawn's fake beard, revealing another one] Who the hell wears a beard over a beard?
- Shawn Spencer: Who wears a beard beard? Overachievers, that's who, Jack.
- Juliet O'Hara: I can clean up my own messes.
- Carlton Lassiter: Man, I know what you can do! You be careful out there. And tell Spencer to keep sucking it. Like, keep at it, do not stop.
- Burton Guster: I may make a jump for it. How many sharks do you think are in the bay?
- Shawn Spencer: At least one.
- Burton Guster: Damn it.
- Ewan O'Hara: How do you guys feel about Oslo?
- Shawn Spencer: He definitely shot Kennedy.
- Ewan O'Hara: The city.
- Shawn Spencer: They named a city after that son of a bitch?
- Burton Guster: Dude, I gotta say, this restoration is coming along great. If I'm looking on the bright side, it's nice we get a sneak preview.
- Shawn Spencer: You're talking about the bright side of dying in Alcatraz.
- Burton Guster: He's here to offer our services. I'm about to go check out some black holes.
- Shawn Spencer: That was a bad choice of words.
- Burton Guster: Out of context, I regretted it.
- Burton Guster: My name is Burton Guster and this is my partner, White Privilege.
- Shawn Spencer: Eh! That's my bit.
- Burton Guster: I'll leave first because my heart is the purest.
- Shawn Spencer: It's definitely the blackest.
- Burton Guster: The dog is blocking my mirror, Shawn.
- Shawn Spencer: Blocking... why are you using a mirror? It's pitch black out here.
- Burton Guster: Your mama's pitch black.
- Shawn Spencer: We both wish that were true.
- Heather Rockrear: [about to lay the smack down on Henry and Woody] Clearly my milkshake brings old bald guys to the yard.
- Burton Guster: Dude, Sam put his name on his dongle.
- Shawn Spencer: First time that hasn't been funny to me.
- [snickers]
- Shawn Spencer: Eh... you're right. It's not *not* funny.