Omne

IMDb member since August 1999
    Lifetime Total
    25+
    IMDb Member
    24 years

Reviews

Dark Harvest
(2023)

Painfully predictable
I wanted to like the movie, really I did. Unfortunately it was tough to do. I knew there was a problem when the big "twist" became painfully obvious literally within the first 10 minutes during the dance speech.

After that it was mainly a matter of getting there. The acting was extremely uneven. Casey Likes was deadpan and seemed pretty much bored by the whole thing. Emyri Crutchfield was a highpoint and did an excellent job. Luke Kirby was simply terrible and came across as a bad parody of a drill instructor. It's hard to tell if he was supposed to be comic relief, serious or a mix.

The cinematography was good and the settings were ok, although a cornfield is a cornfield. Without putting in spoilers there were huge, gaping plot holes that never got filled or were even attempted to be filled. It ended up a fairly confusing mess. The ending made little sense, nothing was resolved or explained adequately. It just kind of ended with a whimper.

It was a pretty blatant ripoff of three other movies. I'm not going to name them since that would have away the entire plot. I'm assuming the book was more original.

Hinsdale House
(2019)

Thank God it was only an hour.
Bad acting, bad camera work and literally no plot. I see the rating has dropped from the 5s to the 3s. Reality is catching up with the bots.

It seemed like half the movie was the stationary cams showing nothing at all happening switching between them over and over. I suppose that was to pad this turkey out to an hour. No special effects of any kind unless you count someone shining a flashlight at the camera periodically. Oh yeah a crew member's head shows up briefly. This would be bad as a beginning student's film much less one released.

So no story, no effects, no explanation of what's (not) going on and some atrocious over acting by the hysterically screaming actress at the end, although why the heck she's screaming escapes me.

Save yourself an hour and give this trash a pass.

The Lurking Fear
(2023)

What a piece of trash
Unbelievable. Plot holes you could literally drive a semi through. Suspension of disbelief doesn't even begin to cover this feeble attempt at a movie.

An unexplained large population of feral cannibals in an abandoned asylum building next to a major freeway interchange in a large city. Supposedly they had been there for a hundred years or so, without being noticed.

Throw in the heroine after a dozen or two people get killed off from a reality show, again without anyone noticing. Have her escape and get recaptured, not once, not twice but three times. By the third time you pretty much wish they'd just kill her and get it over with.

Of course there are a couple of accomplices that you figure out within a few seconds so no surprises there. Madsen does a horrible job acting, not that he's capable of much anyway, and he's still probably the best one. The two accomplices are allegedly Native Americans who like eating people. AIM should go after the people that came up with that particularly offensive plot twist.

The entire plot has so many holes it becomes painful to watch. There's no rational explanation for anything that happens. At the end she just wanders out a door and it cuts to the credits. No explanation of why they decide to let her meander out but who cares, at least it ended the suffering of watching this. So does she escape? Does she get recaptured? Does anyone even care by then?

Truly a movie that really has no reason to exist except as a bad example of film making. If this was a $50,000 indie film I could be more forgiving but it obviously had a larger budget that was completely wasted on a drunk screenwriter and laughable special effects.

Judas Ghost
(2013)

This was never really intended to be a horror film.
A lot of people really don't understand the movie. To be fair Simon Green wrote this in such a way that unless you are familiar with his shared universe, i.e. The Nightside, Ghost Finders and Secret Histories books, it doesn't make as much sense. The Ghost Finder novels were fantasy-mystery stories not horror. The books revolved around finding the cause of various paranormal occurrences and resolving them. They also fought a competing organization that wanted to exploit ghosts.

The magic they use in the movie is a result of the universe he created that included magic, gods, demons and any number of other creatures and powers hidden from the general public. The team is a fairly accurate replica of his Ghost Finder team in the books. Although the tech person isn't nearly as nervous in the books. There was usually more humour in the books as well. I have a distinct feeling that he was pressured into the ending since it differs so much from all his books.

If you approach the movie as a non-horror fantasy it actually works quite well, although the ending wasn't very satisfying.

Overall a good try at capturing a very difficult and intricate universe on film. There are 30 books in the various series and they share a common universe, there's no way to set it up in one film. The Ghost Finder books were written after the other two series were well underway and they kind of assumed a familiarity on the part of the reader with the universe.

Street Fighter
(1994)

I've been looking for this on streaming.
What most people miss is that this movie is a straight up parody of action movies. Nobody is taking it seriously, especially Raul Julia. Some of his lines are hilarious when you read the right context into them. The same with background gags. For example in one scene in his personal quarters the female lead does a double take at a picture painted by him. It was a classic John Gacy clown that looked like Julia's character. Or when he points out that governments have been unsupportive of him but corporations have been very accommodating.

This film really shouldn't even be considered a video game film. It stands by itself even if you know nothing about the original game. It's too bad that Raul left us so early. His humour and talent would have been wonderful to watch over the years.

Give the movie a shot with an open mind and forget about the game. Watch it for what it is, a clever spoof of action movies with a wonderful, likable villain in Julia.

The Twilight Zone: The Encounter
(1964)
Episode 31, Season 5

Lets be realistic about this...
Yes the episode was overly ambitious and there was little chance of a masterpiece but given the restrictions on time, 1/2 hour slot, this episode came out a lot better than it could have.

Since others have summarized the plot I'll be brief. Arthur Takamori, ably played by George Takei, is a Japanese American gardener that shows up at Fenton's, played by Neville Brand, house and is asked to stay for a beer and help Fenton clean the attic. Both of them are haunted by guilt from WWII, Fenton for having killed a Japanese officer and taken his sword after he had surrendered and Arthur whose father had aided the Japanese when they attacked Pearl Harbor. Tensions build and an outside force seems to ratchet things up to the end where Fenton is killed by the sword during a struggle and Arthur commits suicide by jumping from the attic window. Engraved on the sword was a phrase that translated to "the sword shall avenge me". In reality no way but as a plot device OK.

Given the short time from WWII to when this episode was made I can see where the controversy arose. There were a lot of situations where Japanese soldiers had surrendered but were killed because no prisoners were being taken. During some of the island battles there simply was no way to handle prisoners logistically and the soldiers that surrendered weren't trusted. Someone that served with my father in the war had a soldier surrender to him. The Japanese soldier spoke English and had been the in US. The prisoner asked for a cigarette which he was given. They talked while the prisoner smoked it. Afterwards, quite simply, he shot the prisoner. It really haunted him, according to my father, and probably did to the day he died.

On the other side there were a relatively small number of Japanese Americans that either provided information and assistance or entered the Japanese military.

Emotions were still raw on both sides in 1964 and it would have taken a full movie to adequately explore the issues of guilt. Trying to do it in 23 minutes produced a rather shallow attempt. However even given that problem I think that this was one of the more thought provoking episodes and one of the more intense ones. Not my favorite episode but it had real impact.

By the way, the overacting never came close to matching Shatner in Nightmare at 20,000 Feet.

The Last Airbender
(2010)

Simply wrong
I watched the entire series over a period of week or two on Netflix then watched this mess. Afterwards I wondered why I disliked the movie so much. It took me a few minutes but outside of the plot holes and incoherent events the one thing that truly ruined it was the complete lack of any humour whatsoever. In the series Aang was fun loving and at first didn't take anything seriously, remember penguin sledding? Sokka in the series was basically a klutz at the beginning and really sarcastic. In the movie neither of them smiled even once that I can remember. No sarcastic lines, no fun loving inclinations, no fun in the movie at all. Uncle Iroh did a good job with the "wisdom" but there was nothing at all of the good natured amusement that the character brought in the series. They didn't even have him drinking tea! Obviously there is not going to be any sequels (unless someone needs a huge tax write-off) and that's a good thing. This adaptation should never have been done.

Mystery Diners
(2011)

Might be good if it wasn't completely fake....
The show tonight unfortunately proves it's a fake and a reenactment.

The episode was about a sommelier who had wine sales drop during the year he had working at the restaurant. I was watching the camera angles and when they cut to a scene of him pouring wine for a couple the camera angle would have put the camera at chest level in the wall behind the table. They cut to a long shot and there was nothing on the wall except paint. In another scene the camera shot showed the subject walking past the "hidden" camera which was at eye level less than 3 feet from him and only a little smaller than his head. The camera was attached to a post on the top of a divider wall. Hard to miss something that big that's swiveling around, especially when you've worked there a year. Impossible.

I watched another episode about a pub. During the set up summary they claimed they had 3 cameras installed and showed the locations. They also were supposed to have one of their undercover operatives wearing a camera mounted in her eyeglass frames. I counted 10 completely different camera angles during the alleged operation while I was watching the playback on my DVR. They also had a close up shot of the woman wearing the glasses. Unless they managed to come up with a camera with no lens that's less than a millimeter thick there wasn't a camera on the frames.

Too bad, I liked the concept. I wish they had a real show like this.

Grave Encounters
(2011)

A waste of a good idea
This movie had potential and it worked for the first 1/2 hour or so. Then it rapidly disintegrated, it's the only word I can think of that fits.

The beginning was genuinely creepy, the characters were terrified by relatively benign events, things moving by themselves etc. I thought it was a great idea. Show how REAL people would react to even minor activity. There was real suspense and I thought it was going to be pretty good. It takes so little to cause so much terror in real life. They should have run with that idea.

Then... it completely falls apart. They go for the big stuff. I'm sorry but when they change the rules, like they did here, violating all of the laws of physics and literally making anything possible it simply becomes "magic". Once a film is at the "magic" level it becomes a simple fantasy with no connection to reality and the fear vanishes instantly. There's no way I can relate to what's going on any more than I can relate to a movie like Hellraiser. If literally anything can happen then there's no real suspense, it's just a matter of finding out the details of the story and seeing how it ends.

I'm not even going to touch the "forever" batteries in the cameras and computers. Reminded me of the infinite repeating guns in the old westerns.

All in all a real disappointment for a movie that could have been so much more and a fresh new look at an old idea.

D-War
(2007)

I've seen a lot worse
I actually enjoyed this movie. The key is to set realistic expectations. Lets face it, two dragon/serpents on a DVD cover coiled around a skyscraper. Who's going to expect Casablanca?

For what the movie tries to be it succeeds. The acting is standard, the character development is weak but who cares? The movie is about the special effects. Anyone watching this expecting more than what it was really didn't pay enough attention to the concept. If this had been done as an anime film nobody would be complaining, they normally aren't strong on character development either unless it's a 2+ year series. I can't even count the number of anime films that dropped me off in the middle of a plot with no explanation. You get used to it and take it for what it is. At least it didn't take itself seriously, that would have killed it.

Light entertainment, decent effects, enough plot to carry the effects. That's all you need for this type of film.

Epoch
(2001)

Not a bad premise
The main idea, that an energy being descended to Earth 4 billion years ago in order to monitor and create intelligent life on the planet, was interesting.

Minor spoilers ahead.

The being, now "encased" in a rocky 1/2 mile tall ship/monolith, periodically wipes the planet clean and starts over with a new dominant species. Of course this also explains the extinction of the dinosaurs.

Mankind is on the short list to be purged in the present day. Maybe it's going to try raccoons or something next.

The acting is mediocre at best. You know it's bad when Brian Thompson is one of the better actors in it. The other characters are cut out 2 dimensional figures that nobody really cares about. They cut so many corners in order to squeeze this into 90 minutes they lose anything of value. Maybe as a mini-series with better actors and more complex plot development it might have resulted in a superior effort worthy of the basic premise. Unfortunately they chose the quickie version and it shows.

All in all an OK attempt at a difficult plot. I'd give it a 5 or 6.

The Incredible Torture Show
(1976)

Unbelievable
Now this is a BAD movie!

Having heard about this movie for quite a while I was expecting something fairly grotesque. What I found was a movie that reaches new depths in BAD. BAD acting, BAD plot, BAD special effects, BAD humor, basically BAD everything.

I laughed most of the way through the film due to the incredibly stupid dialogue and amazingly cheesy effects. I've seen better special effects in junior high school cinematography films. The actors/actresses are worse than what you see in the average grade school play. There's a reason nobody went on to more than one or two more low budget films from this turkey. I don't know about anyone else but if I was getting all my teeth pulled out I wouldn't sit around looking bored. Then again teeth don't exactly pop out in under 2 seconds either. It looked like he was simply picking them up off her tongue, which is pretty much what he was doing.

All in all a truly monumental waste of time and film. I'd really be torqued off about it if it had cost me a penny to watch but it didn't so I only feel like I wasted the time, not money.

Anyone else think that Sardu bore an amazing resemblance to Eric Idle?

Silent Running
(1972)

Probably my favorite movie of all time.
I first saw this movie back in the 70s on television when I was in school. It really hit a chord in me. I realize it was a bit heavy handed but then again trying to pack this much stuff into 90 minutes isn't easy.

Once you get past the original idea of the only remaining forest/nature being in pods on spaceships the rest of the movie hangs together very nicely.

I've seen some critics go after Bruce Dern as being too overboard but in the context of the movie and his character it made perfect sense. In light of what was happening his character would have been overboard in real life.

Some minor spoilers ahead!

The basic plot is fairly straight forward. Due to pollution Earth has placed the last remaining forests and wildlife on board gigantic pods in long orbit until enough land can be reclaimed to replant the forests on Earth. Bruce Dern plays a scientist, Freeman Lowell, who has dedicated his life to the project and had spent more than a decade in space nurturing the pods on his ship, one of a fleet of such ships. The other 3 crew members are typical jock types that are rotated through and can't comprehend why Lowell cares about the forests. They grew up without being around them. Only one of them really tries to understand and relate to Lowell.

After the set up the movie really starts. Due to budget cuts the project is canceled and the fleet is ordered to jettison and destroy the pods and return to Earth. Not hard to picture in real life with politicians being what they are.

Lowell loses it when they start blowing the pods up and tries to save one of them. He reports a massive malfunction and the loss of control of the ship heading off into deep space. The rest of the movie revolves around his attempt to evade the rescue ships that are trying to help him and to keep the forest alive with ever dwindling resources. He is assisted by 3 robot drones, obviously named Huey, Dewey and Louie. The interaction between Lowell and the drones is really a high point to the movie. The drones become surrogate companions and help keep him sane.

Eventually Earth manages to work out a rescue plan, which will mean the destruction of the last pod and thus the last forest. At that point Lowell has to make some hard choices. The rest of the movie flows very naturally from the choices.

Every time I see the last scene from the film I get pretty choked up. Back in the 70s when I first saw it on TV my mother caught the last part of the movie. She was most certainly not a science fiction fan, and definitely not overly sentimental but she started crying at the end.

Is it a perfect movie? Nope, but it's a thoughtful exploration of a man's dedication and of what looked like a possible future ecological nightmare in the early 70s. I recommend this film to anyone with an interest in those topics.

Mallrats
(1995)

I'd say the weakest of Smith's movies
Mallrats isn't a bad movie but it lacked something. While thinking about this comment it came to me. It lacked engaging comedic characters.

In Clerks the verbal byplay between Dante and Randal kept the movie going. In Dogma the commentary and byplay from Rickman, combined with Chris Rock's work made it worth watching. Even in Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back the supporting actors kept it going with clever exchanges.

Chris Rock as the psychotic militant black director comes to mind.

In Mallrats, outside of Jason Lee as Brodie, there really wasn't anybody that was very funny. Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith lighten things up with their usual slapstick but they are only in the movie sporadically. The other actors just play the normal Hollywood supporting cast, and dully at that. Jason Lee would make some clever comment and the rest of the cast more or less just stared at him.

Having just watched Clerks again a couple of days before seeing Mallrats I really noticed the differences between them, and how much better Clerks was.

It's an interesting movie in terms of watching Kevin Smith's evolving style but on it's own it stands as pretty weak compared to his other films.

Arachnid
(2001)

I've seen worse.
I picked this one up with little expectation of it being a great movie. I was correct.

Contains spoilers.

However it's actually not bad. The basic plot is fairly simple although they did more of a set up then usual for it.

The movie starts with a CGI sequence of a F-117 being flown over the ocean. It encounters a quasi invisible UFO and ends up colliding with it after the plane's electronics go off line. The pilot ejects and the plane and UFO crash on an island in the Celebes. He finds wreckage of the UFO after he lands by chute and catches a glimpse of an alien being killed by another alien, possibly an animal on board. The second alien then kills the pilot and the plot is set up.

Fast forward 10 months and a group is going to the island to investigate a mysterious illness that appears to be related to some type of bite.

The rest is fairly routine but the acting is better than average for the two main stars. Well, better than average for these types of movies.

There is a fair amount of CGI work, more than I would have expected on this budget. The special effects are better than usual as well although we still have the occasional plot hole you can drive a semi through.

All in all not a bad flick for a Saturday afternoon when you don't want to spend time thinking.

Top of the Food Chain
(1999)

War of the Worlds meets Twin Peaks meets Airplane!
I picked up this movie on a whim at the local video store knowing nothing at all about it. I'm glad I did. This has to be one of the funniest movies I've seen in the past year.

It's hard to even know where to begin. The basic plot is simple. A small town that is dying out is invaded by aliens with a taste for humans.

Minor spoiler- one joke from the movie ahead!

All in all a simple premise. The genius of this movie lies in the acting and the dialogue. The town's people are completely crazy in the most interesting ways. The actors carry it off perfectly. The lead, Campbell Scott, has a deadpan delivery that is hilarious given some of the lines he has in the movie. The end of the movie is stolen however by Tom Everett Scott who delivers one of the most amazing performances I've seen lately. I was in serious pain from laughing by the final credits.

The humor is of the quirky kind, similar to some of the work of John Cleese. It's based on absurdity but also on incongruity.

If the idea of an "atomic scientist" trying to stall attacking alien monsters by welcoming them to Earth and describing some of the interesting flora and fauna to be found here, such as the wily skunk which comes in three types, tickles your funny bone then you need to see this movie.

It's not for everyone but if you like British humor I'd give it a shot.

The One
(2001)

Asian version of Highlander
This movie epitomizes what I don't like about Jet Li movies. That being the special effects.

The fight choreographers made excessive use of wires in this movie. It was to point that I thought I was watching a cartoon instead of a movie.

The problem is that with all the special effects it becomes like watching the Matrix. Since impossible actions are normal you end up expecting them and being disappointed by the "mundane" martial arts sequences. Even when Jet Li is exhibiting phenomenal martial arts skills I felt like yawning and wondered why he wasn't doing it faster or 20 feet up in the air.

The plot could have been good with a different point of view. It did start to resemble Highlander more than a little, especially when they meet in the steam plant and face each other. When the "bad" jet Li said that he would be "The One" I kept expecting Christopher Lambert to pop in and say "There can be only ONE!"

All in all a disappointing movie. If you like martial arts action and amazing stunts that *aren't* due to special effects you'd be better off sticking to Jackie Chan movies.

Werewolf
(1995)

You know you're in trouble
when Richard Lynch is the major star in the film, and he's only in it for a few minutes.

What can be said? Lame plot, worse makeup and absolutely horrible acting. The scene where the werewolf is chasing a woman who manages to fall down numerous times in order to allow it catch up pretty much sums up the film.

After watching this turkey I started avoiding any videos from A-Pix.

Killing Moon
(1999)

Not bad
I didn't have much in the way of expectations when I rented this DVD. That was a good thing.

The first hour of the movie was fairly interesting. The actors did a good job for the most part with the notable exception of Daniel Baldwin.

The script was fairly formulaic as expected but it did a better than average job setting up some of the main characters. Overall I would rate it better than most TV movies but it suffered from a low budget. With better sets and writing it would have rated higher.

Spoiler:

The major problem I had was with the typical Hollywood techno illiteracy. The explanation of the virus was easily the most absurd thing since China Syndrome. The alleged agent was a DNA that somehow combined with, get this, Tritium. As the DNA replicated the Tritium also allegedly replicated thereby killing the person with radiation. Tritium is a radioactive isotope of Hydrogen- 3 protons 1 neutron.

Of course the only way that could occur is if the virus managed what Pons and Fleischer didn't- COLD FUSION. After I got done laughing it was somewhat difficult to get back into the movie.

With a decent explanation I would have rated the movie higher.

Overall a simple movie that managed to become more than a sum of it's parts. Good for a quick escape without too much thought.

Jeepers Creepers
(2001)

Interesting idea- bad execution
In light of the 350+ previous comments I'm not going to bother going over the plot and I'll simply make a couple of observations.

Potential spoilers.

The film started out OK but went downhill fairly quickly. I could forgive the stupid kids. I could forgive the stupid police. I could even forgive the obligatory old cat lady getting it. What I can't forgive is the silly ass monster they came up with.

The idea of a creature that only becomes active every 23 years for a period of 23 days and that incorporates the parts of it's victims that it eats could have resulted in a pretty good flick. Alas it was not to be. The film makers felt obligated to use a guy in a cheesy rubber mask and suit, complete with wings for God's sake.

Obviously they never read anything by H.P. Lovecraft and they never learned that the horror you DON'T SEE is infinitely more horrifying than anything that can be conjured up by the author/film maker.

If they had resisted the impulse to play with their special effects and had simply left the monster/creature cloaked and hidden in the dark they would have produced a film that was genuinely scary and not something that reminded me of a script that was rejected by the X-Files. Make the creature an alien and swap Sculley and Mulder for the stupid kids and it would might have been an interesting episode. As it was it was a lousy movie instead.

Wait a minute it *was* an X-Files episode in Season One starring Victor Eugene Toombs. I knew it looked familiar...... :-)

I'd give it a pass unless you really like silly rubber monsters and stupid victims.

The Screaming Skull
(1958)

Definitely underrated
I'm not sure why this movie is rated so low. The possibility that a lot of the reviewers have short attention spans is an explanation.

Some spoilers in this review.

The basic plot involves a woman brought to the mansion of her new husband right after their marriage. The husband's first wife met a tragic end on the grounds of the estate. The new wife, Jeni, starts to see things and experience terrifying episodes involving a skull. The movie hints at a double plot going on. The first plot is the husband trying to scare her into a breakdown. The second is the spirit of the first wife manifesting in the house and on the grounds. For obvious reasons it can be hard to tell which is which until the end.

Jeni has a history of mental problems based on her parents drowning in front of her when she was younger. She met her husband after being released from a sanitarium. It also happens that she is very wealthy and therefore a target for her husband, Eric. There is a obligatory strange gardener, Mickey, who grew up with the first wife and was very close to her. He's also mentally retarded or appears that way.

The movie is slowly paced, for a reason. Most of the slow periods deal with the reactions of Jeni to something happening. For example she enters a room and sees the skull for the first time. She screams and runs from the room, which also contains a portrait of the first wife. She runs to her room and bolts the door and sits on the bed. The next few minutes consist of her listening to noises from outside the room caused by various things. The tension really notches up during the scene and the longer it went on the higher the suspense went.

The end was somewhat predictable when the spirit of the first wife gets revenge on Eric, however they did a good job with it.

The film makers didn't have a large budget obviously, although they did have Eric driving a beautiful Mercedes 300 SL Gullwing that is worth a few hundred thousand today. Even without the budget they did an excellent job with the lighting and the pacing.

Overall I really liked this movie, which is something that I didn't expect based on the description. Quite a few people on here didn't like it but I think that has more to do with their preconceptions of the movie from the fact it was on MST3K. If they saw it by itself without the stigma of it being a bad movie they might very well have a different opinion of it.

Killjoy 2: Deliverance from Evil
(2002)

Well, better than the first one
not that that counts for a lot.

Overall it's more coherent and a tighter script than the original Killjoy. The acting is better as well. A couple of the actors look like they may actually go on to better things eventually. One looks like a dead ringer for a very young Keenan Ivory Wayans.

The basic plot is 2 juvenile officers and 5 delinquents on the way to boot camp break down in the middle of nowhere. After a couple of not too bad scenes they end up at the house of a voodoo practitioner. Killjoy then ends up on the scene and the killing begins.

Very mild spoiler ( actually just playing it safe, it doesn't really give much away)

The actor that plays Killjoy obviously spent a lot of time watching Caesar Romero on the old Batman show. He does come across somewhat better then the first one and some of the jokes actually manage to be amusing in a "smile" sort of way. The scene where one of the people is desperately reading out of a voodoo book in an attempt to banish Killjoy made me smile when he started with the " How long is this going to take? Yes, Yes Lord of Darkness yada yada" routine.

Actually better than I expected after seeing Killjoy 1 on the double feature DVD release. For mindless entertainment on a slow night it's worth a look.

Demonicus
(2001)

What a dog
Although I have to admit I laughed more watching this movie than the last few comedies I saw.

The budget must have consisted of pocket change from the actors. The production values are so low that they actual made it kind of fun to watch. Reminds me of the Robot Monster made up of a guy in a gorilla suit with a cardboard diving helmet on.

In one scene a hapless victim gets their arm and leg cut off. Geez, hard to believe but the Black Knight scene from Holy Grail was more realistic. I kept wondering why the victim didn't start shouting " None Shall Pass" and " It's only a flesh wound, I've had worse". It was one of the funniest scenes I've seen in the past year.

The "gladiator/demon" was a stitch too. Between the horribly cheap costume and the geeky look of the guy in it the end result was hysterical.

Truly a movie that is bad enough to be watchable. Kind of like seeing a slow motion auto accident on film.

Beowulf
(1999)

Seen better
Normally I'm not much of a Lambert fan. As a matter of fact I've been known to avoid movies with him in them. Resurrection comes to mind as one that I didn't miss and wish that I had. Everything after Highlander 1 also some to mind.

I picked up Beowulf at Blockbuster on a whim and actually found it interesting in some ways.

Set in the future, obviously not a prosperous future, the sets were fairly good even though little explanation is made as to why they went back to feudal Europe after the collapse. Since little or nothing in the rest of the movie depended on it being in the future, such as weapon technology or the Grendel, I don't know why they bothered with the concept. A straight retelling would probably have been better.

The movie is a retelling of the ancient Beowulf saga starring Lambert as the mysterious hero Beowulf. Personally not my first choice in casting since the voice started getting rather annoying about halfway through the film. They also got a bit carried away with the gymnastics done by a very badly matched stunt double. Come on folks, at least get the hair color right next time.

Outside of a few quibble such as that the movie was watchable. The acting was for the most part fairly competent. Layla Roberts managed to do more than stand around sticking her chest out and did a pretty good monologue as Grendel's Mother at the end of the movie.

By far the best performance was by Mitra, which also says something about the rest of the acting but I'll let you decide what.

All in all a decent movie for some action/escapism and little thought, even if Beowulf's angst got a bit tiring before the end.

I would have liked a better explanation as to what exactly Grendel's mother was and what exactly Lambert's father was supposed to be but they didn't bother including those tidbits.

The Legend of Hell House
(1973)

An intelligent horror story
I first saw this movie when I was a teenager and I remembered it all those years until I recently rented it on DVD. It was everything I remembered.

The plot is a fascinating twist on the stock haunted house movie that was so prevalent in the 60s and 70s.

The basic plot is 4 people trying to determine the reality behind Hell House, a nickname for a mansion once owned by Emeric Belasco who disappeared in 1929 leaving 27 dead and mutilated bodies in the mansion to be discovered.

The group consists of a physicist, his wife and 2 mediums including the only sane survivor of a previous attempt at the house 20 years before.

The suspense is built up slowly and in my opinion effectively. The first half of the movie follows the usual plot lines fairly closely and is marked by above averge acting on the part of all concerned but especially Franklin.

The second half is where the twist occurs. The physicist has a theory that a massive electromagnetic field exists and can be countered by an artificially generated one resulting in a dissipation of any residual "ghost" activity. Of course he sees the "ghosts" as simply mindless energy given form by the minds of the living that interact with the field. The field is impressed on locations by the people living in them and dying in them.

SPOILERS AHEAD

Right before he uses the equipment to clear the house Franklin's character is killed by the haunting. The field is then generated leaving the house apparently clear of any spirit activity. Everything looks good for a few minutes but then the activity starts up and immediately kills the physicist in an interesting manner.

As the survivors, McDowell and Hunnicut decide what to do McDowell takes on Belasco's spirit in the chapel where it seems to be centered. Based on the manner of the deaths of the other two combined with information from the previous deaths 20 years before McDowell figures out that Belasco was tormented while alive by being a relative dwarf along with being an illegitimate bastard. After a confrontation scene they discover a hidden room in the chapel containing Belasco's preserved body, ably played by Michael Gough. McDowell then reveals that Belasco had had his legs cut off and used artificial legs to give himself height, apparently he was well under 5 feet tall originally. I found this interesting in that it indicated the extreme ego and, to be honest, will power of Belasco. That explained a lot of what had happened and why his spirit was still around.

Another twist was that the hidden room was lined with lead, which meant that Belasco had predicted the energy theory and field generator used to destroy the energy in the house. It also explains why the generator didn't work. The ending of course is McDowell and Hunnicutt leaving the house after turning the machine on with the door open to the hidden room thereby ending Belasco's spirit forever.

All in all and interesting movie and well worth watching.

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