waltos_1999

Am I really supposed to believe that there are people in the world who would cheat on their runway-model-caliber girlfriends in favor of some gangly, middle-linebacker-looking types? And on a daily basis, no less? Jerry Springer seems to think so. It's been one of the staples on his show for the past 11 years (how this piece of schlock managed to stay on the air for more than five is worth its own independent counsel investigation). Seriously, now. How many times can one afford to watch a show with episodes entitled, "Kinky Cheating Secrets Revealed", or "I'm Sleeping with My Father's Brother" (or something to that effect?) And even though I'm not a religious Jerry Springer fan (heck, I haven't watched an episode all the way through in seven years) I still catch occasional glimpses of the show, and I swear that I've seen some of those guests before on different episodes. Apparently, the "Jerry Springer" universe must consist solely of some area between Oklahoma and Texas...nearly all of Jerry's "guests" seem to have that Souther twang when they talk. And I just LOOOOOOVE how the audience seems to boo and chant "Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!" seemingly on command. Come ON! We all know (well, most of those with at least a thimble of common sense) that the WWE is scripted, but at lest it doesn't try to pass itself off as a lower form of "reality television".

My final thought? Someone needs to pack up the tent, because this circus left town a LOOOOOOONG time ago.

I came into this movie expecting to see an exciting suspense thriller. Unfortunately, I was only half right. All the time I was watching this, I was on the edge of my seat --- waiting to get out of the movie theater. The Glass House was so dull and painfully boring to watch, especially with Leelee Sobieski sleepwalking through her lines. Out of the entire hour and forty minutes of film, I think I may have seen her change her facial expression TWICE. The rest of the cast didn't factor much into my enjoyment of the film, either. Perhaps the director forgot the importance of plot twists in a suspense thriller, as well. If you expected something to happen, there was a nine out of eleven chance that it would. This film deserved a lot better than what it had shown me. What a waste of time!

My rating: three out of ten stars

It seems that there was a trend to movies based on video games. Before the first Mortal Kombat came out, no film could quite get that enjoyment level. Super Mario Bros. and Double Dragon turned out to be huge flops, and sadly, so has this movie. All three basically have the same problem in common - the plot of the movies has little to do with the video game, which may turn off most viewers familiar with each series.

Granted, I was expecting Street Fighter to be a high-impact movie laden with special effects and spectacular fight scenes, but this film delivered on neither. The only convincing fight scene was the showdown between Guile and M. Bison (and even THEN, I wasn't convinced).

There were lots of inaccuracies in this film (that only hardened Street Fighter purists might notice) - for instance, Dhalsim as M. Bison's evil doctor, E. Honda's character being played by a Samoan, Balrog holding a gun (with his boxing gloves still on, no less!). And whoever did the casting for this film should have been fired immediately after the film was completed! OK, OK, so maybe there were a few casting accuracies (Ming-Na Wen as Chun-Li, and Raul Julia (God bless his soul) as the sinister M. Bison), but there were a few BIG misses (Jean-Claude Van Damme as Guile, and Peter Tuiasosopo as E. Honda --- they don't really fit their characters) that couldn't be overlooked.

I can't say that this is the WORST video game-themed movie ever made, but I'd give it a 4, because it did manage to retain some of the game's hotness. I'd rather watch Mortal Kombat over this one, though.

Ugh! I was wondering why the heck Servo and Crow were so eager to get out of the theater when they were watching this movie, so I sat there for two hours and watched this "film" on MST3K. Big mistake. This is the biggest waste of celluloid in the history of movie making, even worse than any movie starring Pauly Shore or Freddie Prinze Jr., and I wouldn't be surprised if they were cast in a sequel of this film (thank goodness there isn't). Hobgoblins was excruciatingly painful to watch. I felt dirty after about 30 minutes into the film. Hello? People Who Were Scarred By Hobgoblins Crisis Center? My name is ******, and...

After riding high off the success of Independence Day (1996) and Men In Black (1997), Will Smith, the acclaimed king of mid-summer movies, returns to the big screen in Wild Wild West. Instant success, right? Sure, if you can look past all the needless high-tech special effects and extremely bad dialogue. This movie has lots of explosions, and very little substance in the plot. Some of the jokes and gags in this movie are way over-used (how many times do you have to hear "a man's head" before shutting off your VCR?). I really expected better from this movie.

In my opinion, Mortal Kombat is the only "great" movie based on a video game. Double Dragon, Super Mario Bros., and Street Fighter: The Movie were all big flops, because none of them followed the storyline of the game. Mortal Kombat, however, managed to pull off a great recreation of the game, even without the bloody Fatalities.