(SPOILERS revealed throughout. Read at your own risk. Ha. Watch this movie at your own risk would be better advice.)
I just don't know what is up with this film. I've seen bad movies that inflame me to strike back, but this one is as a vacuum for the soul, the mind, and the attention span. It's a soulless, remorselessly unwholesome collection of vignettes that the filmmakers have sloppily, albeit smugly, pasted together with hypocracy and schmaltz, and shoved down our collective gullets. Oh, and they took our money, too.
I'm not even going to bother reiterating the "plot". Several reviewers before me have done so, and repeating it here would be redundant. Let's shoot for the complete lack of characterization and believability.
Let's see: we have a "cutting-edge" schoolteacher who delivers sardonic comments to his agog, bratty students and has burns on his face and chest. Gosh, we AREN'T going to find out what caused those burns, are we? He challenges his students to determine ways to change the world (!).
His student: Mr. Hayley Joel Osmont himself, staring soulfully into the camera and softly uttering idealistic tripe. He creates a pyramid scheme of Good Samaritan acts.
The kid's mother: Alcoholic tramp. We can tell she's alcoholic because she's wearing eyeliner. Roughly twenty minutes of this film consists of her rummaging for liquor bottles.
But that's not all! A genial business man, an enterprising reporter, a stereotypical African-American punk, a drunken old homeless woman, a homeless guy (detecting a pattern here?), and a suicidal woman all get involved in paying it forward. Oh, yeah, and throw in Jon Bon Jovi for good luck.
String these characters together in a chain of convoluted events that lurch toward a laughably implausable ending that makes so many blatant ignorances of reality that it seems to have been created by some strange life form from another dimension (hint: Would a bully who likes kicking an athsmatic wimp really pull a knife (!) on a kid defending him? Pull a knife, stab and KILL this kid (doesn't this school have metal detectors?), and not stop even when two adults, one of whom is a TEACHER, are racing towards him?), and you have this film. But if you must watch this film, look for these cinematic gems:
- Kevin Spacey chewing up the scenery so much he must have needed to floss afterwards when he explains how he got his burns
- Kevin Spacey gritting his teeth and pushing a pedophile into the bathroom (!) (THAT'LL teach'm!)
- The teacher and the mother jumping into bed with literally no provocation
- Little Hayley's final recorded word: the s-word. Nothing like "From the Potty Mouths of Babes" to warm your heart.
The ending reports that paying it forward is spreading throughout the world. Why haven't any of these people approached me? Oh, I get it! It's supposed to start with me! Are they going to gut me like a fish, too? Viewing this movie feels just like that.