blackbeagle-33579

Jesse Eisenberg and Dakota Fanning cannot act they can only be themselves and it's not acting. It's a blank stare like a ketamine hangover and I'm sure it has an appeal to some but it's not acting. In the meantime this isn't a movie it's a PSA. A slow moving boring scolding PSA extolling how we should collectively kill our selves to save Mother Earth.

And the 'cellos' positively glow. I wish the white cello washed her hair more but the brown cello oh my god I would lick the varnish off that cello.

But then again Cujo was Dee Wallace trapped in a car by a rabid St Bernard. So being trapped in a tree in a Mangrove swamp isn't worse. If nothing else it's another movie that convinces us Australia is a hellscape.

Man Bad man cheat man (hence) man not people. Wo-man angry wo-man have upper hand.

We're close to the point where every script, every line of dialog and every casting for every movie will be done by the same A.I. program to precisely the same results. Movie as fast food. Which is fine if all you want to be is fat, lazy and diabetic, like this movie

His is the dumbest most grating most irritating character in the history of earth. And you really have to work at doing dumb on this show

Are they supposed to be real? The most perfect family having the most perfect lives in the most perfect town with the most perfect weather. Every moment is the pinnacle of WASP Thanksgiving. And most importantly they are all cheerful chatterboxes who gently tease each other chattering away simultaneously.

I have to believe that the filmmakers completely missed Joyce Carol Oates pitch perfect black satire

Middle aged super wealthy white woman pathologically obsessed with getting a baby at all costs. Gets said cute little satanic demon spawn and then of course proceeds to shriek at and alienate everyone in her family and friends. Spawn girl does what they do which is homicidal. New mom refuses to recognize it yadda yadda. Can you guess the ending or are you short a few chromosomes?

At nearly 2 hrs it drags and drags and drags and drags. Scenes meander for 10 minutes for no reason, monologues that don't advance the plot go on forever. And the music overwhelms the dialog as if there's going to be some sort of emotional epiphany. Which there is not. There's no real mystery here they state what's going on in the first 15 minutes and the story wanders around in a predictable way in this morally gray universe. It's hot and flat and barren and bleak and wise indigenous folk do spiritual indigenous stuff.

Everyone is worried about when computers take over. That time is here. This is the cookie cutterest cookie cutter of check the boxes movies. This was written and directed by a midrange mediocre SO. It was filmed by computers, the sound and music is off the shelf. The acting could be holograms. Even the set design is straight out of a catalog. There is nothing that's not painfully generic about this. It's a brave new world, people. A world run by lazy boring artificial intelligence of the most mediocre kind.

Pretty terrible movie of the very early talkies. Interesting technical effort. But it has no pacing, bad directing, way too many long monologues. It's just dull

It's teen TV. Also you have to read half the movie because it's via texting. Because that's what all the cool kids do. Basically it's about turning the debate team into a gay musical.

It's pretty much unwatchable. It's not even clear they want you to watch it. Its just random things that happen from one second to the next. And why do the credits run for 5 minutes? What is this? Law and Order?