DrTeeth007

IMDb member since January 2007
    Lifetime Total
    25+
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    IMDb Member
    17 years

Reviews

The Witches
(2020)

Deserves a four letter review!
The film was so unwatchably bad that I just could not watch it until the end. It deserves a single four lettered review! The special effects were very good indeed and it is that that earns the 1 star rating. I would have to swear to truly indicate how bad this dross is so I will end the review here.

The Executrix
(2020)

Pointless!
This film must have been made just to use up some film. A more pointless piece of cross I have never seen!

Jeff Dunham: Minding the Monsters
(2012)

Worst ventriliquist, ever!
The whole point of being a ventriloquist is that people cannot see your mouth move whilst talking for the dummy/puppet! Jeff Dunham fails in this regard, in spades! He simply does not deserve his fame.

Not with His Wife
(2016)

I don't know why!
I really do not know what made me watch this rubbish until the end. I normally only watch dross like this until the end only if it is sci-fi. The acting was mediocre at best and the story linear and predictable. I give this a big 'miss'.

Automation
(2019)

We have all been there!
I'm sure we have all looked at the famous actors and thought that acting is easy and we could all do it. Well, the totally atrocious 'acting' by every cast member puts paid to that idea. Watching somebody really bad at something makes one realise how difficult it really is. To add insult to injury, the script is naff as well as the story. This has no redeaming features and really deserves no stars.

Ad Astra
(2019)

Plucking body hairs out would be more fun
I just could not believe the dreck this film is. All the big name actors in this must have been short of a few dollars to sign up to this! Note to director...films should have a story, preferably an involved one. This pile had the sort of story that a first year primary school pupil could have bettered. Pluck out body hairs for more fun!

The Signal
(2014)

Definitely not a sum of its parts
The various scenes held out the promise of so much, if only there had been a coherent story. So much unexplained turned this oh-so-close hit into a miss.

10 Minutes Gone
(2019)

Formulaic dross!
What formulaic rubbish with more plot holes than a teabag. Paint a wall and watch it dry or listen to a blank tape for more productive use of your time. Particularly annoying was each actress having their lips pumped full of silicone was really distracting too.

The Wheel
(2019)

Why did I do it?
The trouble is with being such a sci-fi fan, is that I can watch any cross until the end to see if it has any redeaming features. This offering did not. Bad acting, massive plot holes and illogical story arcs makes this one of the worst films I have ever seen. Save 85 minutes of your life by painting a wall and watching the paint dry. It will be much more satisfying than this cross.

Extinction
(2018)

YAWN!
This could have been a brilliant film. I am a BIG sci-fi fan and will watch rubbish in the hope it redeems itself in the end. I do not do that with any other genre.

I could not watch this until the end.

This is the plot:- chap has dreams which come true. Sceptical girlfriend believes him in a flash when the crap hits the fan. Then it is get attacked, run. get attacked again, run. get attacked, somebody dies and then run. I started off intending to give 3*, but as I read this review I downgraded it.

Interstellar Wars
(2016)

I would have prefered root canal work without any anaesthetic!
It takes a lamentable effort like this with pathetic acting to appreciate how difficult it must be to be a good, let alone great, actor.

Primary school children would have made a better fist of it than these "actors".

I love science fiction so watched it until the end. BIG mistake as it started badly and got worse. The average rating of 1.7, at the time of writing, is very generous.

Please, whatever you do, do not watch this pile of excrement. Save it for your enemies. Just tie them to a chair and make them watch it.

Teleios
(2017)

Collagen and wooden
Occasionally, one comes across a film with actors so bad, that it makes one realise how difficult it is to be good or even great at the craft. The actors' faces look as if they have been injected with collagen and Botox...they just do not look right and it is distracting. The story did not really take off and I was left feeling most underwhelmed, unfulfilled and dissatisfied at the end. I only suffered to watch the whole film as I do like science fiction and I always give the offerings from that genre the benefit of the doubt until the end. I really should learn that if a film does not get me gripped and involved by the time 20 or so minutes have passed I should just do what the song says and just give it a miss and watch some paint dry.

Arrival
(2016)

I am truly shocked!!!
I watch nearly all the Sci-Fi I can get hold of as I am a big fan of the genre. I can honestly say that I am truly shocked by all the plaudits that this film and cast have garnered. It is a long time since I have sat through such a boring and empty film. This is truly one of those films where one regrets the loss of an hour and a half of one's life to watch such dross. The story, such as it was, could be scribbled on the side of a fag packet for all the depth that it had. As for the rave reviews Amy Adams is getting, I can only ask "why"? She was nothing special at all, so much so that the role could have easily been given to a budding actress and some production budget saved, and hopefully injected into a more "profitable" place in the production. Do NOT waste your time, you have been warned.

The 2000 Year Old Man
(1975)

The best there is, honest, really.
I have the CDs of all the 2000 year old man audio ever released. After reading that this animated offering is "the soundtrack is the original 1961 recording made by Carl Reiner and Mel Brooks" as stated in the goof section, I feel I can authoritatively review this.

These sketches are absolutely amazing, especially the more so when one realises that the vast majority of the audio is, in fact, ad-libbed.

The only complaint that I have is that jock-straps are not offered at a discount with the recording, as chaps will laugh their balls off. I know I did. I would also STRONGLY advise against eating or (especially) drinking whilst listening; as one will cough, splutter and make a mess expelling fluids via ones' noses in equal measure. This is really messy comedy.

This stuff is also great if one is having a really bad day, the type that is just one step away from medical depression. It WILL blow the blues away.

This is worth a lot more than 10/10. In fact that vote is an insult of epic proportions.

The Answer
(2015)

Such promise
The story had such promise and did manage to hook me in reasonably quickly. Unfortunately, that was as good as it got. I do like sci-fi and once does have to suspend belief, but a good sci-fi film can easily make one believe in time travel, parallel dimensions etc. The first killer for me is when a **really** beautiful babe, who did not appear to be a stranger to using her sexual attraction, falls for the main character. It took me for over half the film to realise that she was not a plant by the Secret Services. So many aspects of the story could have been explored for easily another 30 mins of quality sci-fi, the film is too short at 83 mins as is. Better acting would have been mandatory. In fact, other than the promising story the only other good thing about this film is that it is indeed short so I did not waste too much of my life. Do yourselves a favour and do what the song says, "just walk on by" and give it a miss.

Rapture-Palooza
(2013)

What a disappointment
This film is one of a genre that I watch to the end even if what I have seen is rubbish. That is because I am waiting for some redeeming feature.

Did not find much if anything to laugh or chuckle about in this film. The story had such potential then got repetitive and boring. Not much information was given as to why Mrs Lewis was sent back from Heaven. Too little of the heaven and hell and why the rapture happened.

The anti Christ was played so badly that I was embarrassed. Racial stereotypes can have great comedic value if played well. This was just cringe worthy. The only redeeming feature is Anna Kendrick who played her part very well.

Scavengers
(2013)

Absolute rubbish
I have seen some awful films in my time, but this one MUST be the worst. I LOVE sci-fi and have watched some tosh ion the hope of finding some redeeming features at the end - this crud has none.

First, the 'acting'. There was none at all. Some attractive actresses where one can assume how they got their roles. The growth one finds at the bottom of an unwashed coffee mug has more acting ability then anyone in this film.

Second, the 'special effects' make films from the 1940s look advanced. The space craft looked like 2D transfers.

Third, the script. I could do better than this blind drunk. The whole plot could be written on one side of a beer mat.

I wasted 90 minutes of my life so you don't have to. No matter how much you enjoy sci-fi, avoid this. Sesame Street has more going for it.

Flypaper
(2011)

Brilliant
This is one of those films that I will be watching again and again.

The story is very good - I have just dropped one star as I do not feel that the skills Patrick Dempsey's character has are explained well. Though the story is not complicated, it is one of those that will benefit from a second viewing

All the bad guys' characters are played very well and with depth - my favourites being 'Peanut Butter' and 'Jelly'. The Jewish bad dude's dialogue is a hoot.

This is something I can watch with my wife that is not schmaltzy.

Nice twist at the end too.

I Am... Gabriel
(2012)

Execrable
I cannot begin to explain how execrable this film is. I begrudge giving it 1 star; 1/4 star would be generous.

It is so on so many fronts.

First, the acting is the worst I have ever seen. The whole cast was worse than the worst amateur troupe you could imagine. Sorry for the frequent use of the same word, but I am sure IMDb has a swearing/expletive policy, and I do not wish to fall foul of it.

Second, from the story line I was expecting a proper film and not a thinly-veiled Christian evangelical propaganda film. It is so bad, I would advise watching it with a few beers on board.

Calling this a 'family film' and making children watch it would expose one to charges of child cruelty.

You only get one life, do not waste a second of it on this. I did so you don't have to.

Heart Condition
(1990)

Top-hole light entertainment
This is a very nice film and a well made one at that.

Though I doubt that the story stretched any of the actors' abilities, it did not have to. The story is light hearted and has something for everybody. It is one of my favourites. Mr Washington shows a talent for comedic roles.

I do have a soft spot for ghost stories and this does not disappoint.

*Spoiler Alert* It does contain a strange Easter egg though. At about 1h 24.5m into the film, when Crystal and her baby are being forced/pushed back onto the sofa; "Rega, rega" can be heard. This is Hebrew for "wait, wait" or "wait a moment" depending on context.

Safety Not Guaranteed
(2012)

Pacing and end all wrong
This film held much promise for me. I love films and Si-Fy in general that have a time travel element and can find good in average fare.

This film's story held much promise and I was very disappointed.

++ Extra Spoiler Alert ++

This film spent most of the time dithering with an 'is he a nut or can he do it?' scenario. The lead journalist was too much of a caricature to be taken seriously and I personally found him an unwelcome distraction. For the film to end as it did was a pure cop out that did not sufficiently explain if time travel was achieved. IMHO, up until the end, about 30% could have been cut and more time spend showing the couple on their travels.

3/10 is generous and all I thought at the end was 'was that it?' instead of 'wow'.

Area Q.
(2011)

Pure madness
I love science fiction, and as such can watch some otherwise bad films. This film has a reasonable story that could in general, have been made better.

It shoots itself in the foot by having a LONG dialogue close to the end that looks like it explains all, the trouble is that it is 95% Portuguese and 5% English and does not have subtitles for English speakers. I therefore missed the point of the whole plot and am staggered at the stupidity of this in an English language film.

Because of this I would not advise watching this film on TV or at a friend's house for free - you will kick yourself for the pointless waste of an hour or two of your life.

Married with Children
(1987)

The best there is...
What can I say? Each show is a classic. I watch at least 2 episodes a day and when I have got to the last one; I start again. They are funnier each time I watch them.

The transient characters like Luke and 7 are very annoying and distracting.

The scripts for Kelly seem to reduce in quality towards the end of the run as she/they try to strip her of the slutty side to the character leaving only the dullard.

If ever there was a series that showed married life in all its reality, it's this one.

DrT

Infestation
(2009)

Hook in film lost
Everybody talks about the sudden ending, but nobody mentions Cooper's phone number in Sara's pocket on a post-it note and the flashback explaining how she got it. I really pricked up when I saw that there was an alternative time-line element to the story...which was never mentioned again or explained at all. Cooper kept on mentioning that he thought he had met Sara before and a golden thread was lost. I'm a sucker for time paradox elements and branches to stories.

I waited with baited breath until the last moment and the sudden ending was made worse by my expectation.

Very disappointing and ruined an otherwise very enjoyable film.

Death Proof
(2007)

A poor teen film at best.
I was so disappointed on seeing this film. I expected a film with Quentin Torrentino's involvement to have lots of action and suspense. This film had none of those essential QT ingredients.

It took ages for the film to get going. For the first 30 minutes or so, it was a formulaic teen flick...the sort where you want the cast to die a horrible death FOR REAL. This was not helped by being heavy on the minority stereotypes...the darker the skin, the more the character's head moved when they spoke.

After that initial boring bit, we got about 5 minutes' of excellent action. One had hoped that this was it...action all the way to the end. It was not to be, it went 'teen flick' for ages again. I gave up watching this about 20-30 minutes from the end as it was 'teen flickish' for too long without any action. During this second part of the film, the main character was conspicuous by his absence.

I almost lost the will to live during this waste of film. Every single Tarrentino film that I have seen has had me totally gripped from beginning to end...except this one.

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