Remster

After watching the first five minutes of this movie, I already knew I'd better turn it off and do something worthwhile with my time, but nooooo, I had to be stubborn and sit through it only finding myself wasting another ninety minutes of my life.

Even though the premise sounds good (genetic experiments gone wrong created vicious hillbilly human/pig hybrids that want to kill people with a hatchet or first have sex with the more attractive female species), the movie is a complete and utter, boring, amateur mess.

There really isn't anything good I can say about it, the plot is dull, completely illogical and predictable, the acting is among the worst I've seen in quite some time, - and I've seen my share of bad movies - especially the persistently hyperventilating Valerie gets on your nerves really quickly, irony wants it she's in the movie until the end, so there you have it.

If I would call this a "really bad Texas Chainsaw Massacre" rip-off, some people would want to see it anyway, because there's some supposed resemblance with that movie. But believe me, it's not worth your time.

Avoid at all costs.

A Spanish friend recommended this movie, so we decided to watch it. And it was great! I really didn't expect the musical-elements, they reminded me of 8 Femmes, and most of them were really funny. Especially Ernesto Alterio's song (the first) and Guillermo Toledo's version of ¡Salta! by Seguridad Social made us laugh outloud! My favourite part was the theatre-scene, where Guillermo Toledo unwillingly has a part, with a paper melon prop on his head, exclaiming "¡Soy el hijo melón, soy el hijo melón!" Hilarious! Guillermo Toledo's part is great by the way, he made me laugh lots of times with the situations he got himself into.

About halfway through the pace slows down a bit, making some scenes unnecessarily boring and maybe even redundant, but that's just a minor thing, all in all this movie is a must-see! There's one thing that Spanish and Dutch movies seem to have in common, most of the time they show nudity during the first ten minutes of the movie, so does El Otra Lado De La Cama. Not that I mind, though ;)

9/10

After seeing the third movie, which was abominable, I didn't think it could get much worse with the fourth (and hopefully last) movie in the Wishmaster series. Unfortunately I was wrong, not only was it bad this time, but it was boring as hell too! As someone stated before, the abundant (and redundant) use of nudity (well, for American standards anyway) seems to try and cover up how bad this movie really is. I found it to be more enjoyable to read some of the other comments about this movie. The comments from the person who actually thinks there's a deeper meaning to this movie and was happily surprised to see the 'softer' side of the Djinn really made my day.

If you enjoy watching a plethora of fake fire effects, this is your movie, if not, don't even bother.

1/10

This movie was a real disappointment. Without the presence of Andrew Divoff playing the Djinn, every other good aspect of the previous two movies seem to have left with him. There sincerely isn't anything good I can say about this movie. The plot is full of holes, the acting is very, very bad and the special effects, well, let's say they're even worse than the acting. Moreover, it's boring, boy is it bo-ring.

My advice is to leave this one on the shelf and watch the first two movies instead, they really can't be compared to this stinker.

Avoid! 1/10

I was expecting a funny twist to the Teen Road Movie genre, but alas, it didn't deliver. There's nothing wrong with stereotyping in movies like this one, but Eurotrip just takes it over the top one too many times. The English hooligans were funny, but mainly because of Vinnie Jones' contribution, but gay Italians, Dutch mistresses, German Hitler-impersonations, come on, is that all they could come up with?

The number of errors are also painfully obvious, but since I assume this movie mainly targets an American audience, I guess they won't notice or simply won't care. The one thing that surprised me was the abundance of nude males and sacrilege of the pope and Vatican, that's not something I'd expect in an American movie, but I guess I got to see the uncut version.

All in all it's just a comedy, it had it's funny moments, but overall it was plain and unoriginal. The thing that scares me is that probably a lot of Americans (a lot, not all) actually think this movie portrays a fairly accurate view of Europe. It doesn't. Not even close.

4/10

(**Minor spoilers**)

I can say this movie pleasantly surprised me. Both the subject (shortly : Guy buys love-doll, gets a girlfriend, but can't get away from the doll) and the not-so-happy ending for people who are a sucker for happy endings, really appeared un-American, which I think is a good thing. Two-third through the movie there's a clear transition from thriller to gore-fest, which was totally unexpected. Although it tends to go completely over the top from there with all the sudden changes, it still works for me, it's a low-budget movie and it surely adds a nice twist to the movie. The acting is good, I liked Desmond Harrington's part and the beautiful Mellisa Sagemiller is always a joy to look at. Both Kip Torn as their boss and Udo Kier as the nosy landlord are great additions to the cast and play their parts well.

This movie may be dubbed a horror-flick, but it didn't scare me in terms of shock-effects or gore. It rather made me think whether there are really people like Kenneth, who order a Real Doll and pretend it to be a 'real' person. Oh, one thing that actually DID scare me was the harshness of the boss, I hope the way he deals with his co-workers in the movie is not a standard way of treating employees in the USA ;).

All in all, if you're in for something different and not too narrow-minded, this movie is a must-see! 8/10

It has happened yet once again, I wasted another perfectly good 90 minutes of my life by watching Ghosts of Mars. I know it's supposed to be a B-movie, but B-movies can be fun, too, there's no point whatsoever in making a stupid, uninteresting B-movie, which, in my opinion, Ghosts of Mars clearly is. Actually I think the story in itself COULD have had something going for it, but it gets completely maimed by bad set-designs, bad monster-designs and most of all, terrible, DREADFUL acting. Ice Cube doesn't do a good job, his tough guy 'gangster' attitude is badly misplaced in the far future, but his acting skills aren't nearly half as bad as Natasha Henstridge's. It's so very obvious the woman can't act, we've all seen that in Species, but she really manages to screw the entire movie with her superficial trash-acting.

Leave it alone, it's not worth it.

Having read lots of the books in my childhood, it was inevitable that I had to see this movie sooner or later and I wasn't disappointed. It's typically a movie for children (unlike the previously-released Minoes, which had more going for adults), but as an adult it's still very much enjoyable. The story isn't all that much to write home about, I found a lot of the scenes fairly predictable, but as I mentioned before, it's a movie for kids and they will probably enjoy the adventures of the Frisian twins. The addition of a girl to the cast surprised me at first, after all there's no such storyline in one of the books, but it worked out fine, seeing the twins show off in spite of each other to impress her. People that expect a perfect book-translation to the big screen might be disappointed, everybody else who's in for an uncomplicated movie, go see it.

Heartwarming story, very original, humorous with a serious undertone. What a pleasant surprise this movie was. Actually there's nothing bad I can say about this movie, I absolutely loved it! Go see it! I don't know if there's a dubbed version of this movie, but see the original (subbed, if necessary) version if you can!

If you like European films like Le fabuleux destin d'Amélie Poulain, you'll most certainly want to see this one, because it's got the same charm and will give you a good feeling afterwards. I'm not sure this movie's available overseas in the U.S., but if you can get your hands on it, buy it, you won't be disappointed!

I enjoyed watching this movie, it's uncomplicated, it's funny and it's Belgian. I had to laugh really loud a couple of times, which rarely happens when watching American comedies. Perhaps there IS a difference in humor between the Europeans and the Americans. I prefer the former, so I hope it works for you too.

Being a number 1 fan of both horror icons, I simply had to see this movie. At the end of the movie I had mixed feelings about it. For one, it's great to see both characters battle it out in one movie, this fact alone makes it worth viewing for the die-hard fans, but I'm afraid it's little more than that. The storyline is weak, very weak, even boring at times. Teenagers get slaughtered by Jason while Freddy is trying to regain his strength, ultimately leading to the battle between the two. The last fifteen minutes are obviously the best part. Robert Englund is good as always, playing the maniacal Freddy with a morbid sense of humor and Jason does what he needs to do, he kills. Even though it was a little disappointment to me, I'd go see a possible sequel, which hopefully involves Michael Myers too, Freddy vs. Jason vs. Michael Myers would be cool!

For some reason I seem to have a thing for picking bad movies. After Leprechaun 4, Killjoy 2 and Surf Nazis Must Die I thought it couldn't get much worse. Unfortunately I was wrong, because I watched Terror Toons. Sure, the budget for this movie was $2300, but why waste $2300 to make an all time hideous movie like this one? Trust me, you will not have one reason to watch this movie, although I can understand you get curious after reading all these reviews saying it's bad and you want to find out yourself, I had that a couple of times, but this time the reviewers are right! Don't do it! Don't watch it! Don't waste your money (or bandwidth) on trash like this. Don't say we didn't warn you :)

Leprechaun 4 most be one of the corniest movies I've seen in a long time. I thought the acting in Children Of The Corn : Revelation was bad, but now I think it can't get any worse than Leprechaun 4! Even Warwick Davis' play isn't the best of his 'Leprechaun' career. Still, for some reason this movie made me laugh sometimes. The movie's strength is that it doesn't take itself too seriously, which makes it somewhat watchable. Still, if you want to watch a Leprechaun movie, avoid this one and rather watch part 1 or 3, they're really A LOT better! 3/10

I checked some reviews on IMDB before watching this film and the comments weren't all negative, so I decided to give it a go. Afterwards I have this unsettling feeling that I wasted yet another 90 minutes of my life, so I decided to write a review too, hoping to warn other people before they decide to watch "The Doorway". I mean, there really isn't much good to say about this movie, it's dull, the plot isn't bad in itself for a standard horror movie, but the bad acting and the lack of good special FX manage to screw it up entirely. Especially the actors, they were SO bad that I noticed myself feeling compassion for them during the movie, how they were struggling to make the plot and their play believable. I don't know what else to say about it, except to trust me and stay away from it as far as possible!

I was stunned when I heard the budget for this movie was $ 85.000.000 ! Beats me who wanted to invest that much money into this piece of crap, what were they thinking!

The good thing is that the best scene takes place at the first 5 minutes of the movie, during the street race. After that it's going downhill and it's going downhill fast!

The biggest problem with this movie is that the director wants you to believe Rollerball is real, but the way this concept is presented to the viewer is so poor and downright amateurish, that it rather made me laugh than feeling any compassion for the characters. Let alone the plot, which seems to be a collection of random 'cool' situations added together, what a stinker!

I hate it not to watch to the end of a movie, but Rollerball gave me itchy fingers. I did watch it to the end and I shouldn't have...and neither should you, I think.

If you want to see a "TV-Show to the death" movie, try Running Man instead, it's really a lot better than this one!

1 out of 10, exit stage left!

I read some reviews, which mentioned there were songs in this movie and I, for one, am not a musical-loving person, so I had second thoughts about going, but in the end we did go after all and what a nice surprise this movie was!

It really is a nice change to most of the movies we get to see nowadays. Although it's situated in one place and it's mostly dialogue, all 8 actresses keep the movie going at a fast pace, revealing more and more of their skeletons in the family's closet. Almost all songs are funny to watch, although most of them got a serious undertone, which actually adds up to the odd atmosphere in the mansion. I won't spoil the ending, but you most probably don't see this one coming!

A must-see! (9 out of 10, easily)

I've seen the original non-dubbed German version and I was surprised how bad this movie actually is. Thinking I had seen my share of bad movies like Ghoulies 2, Rabid Grannies, Zombie Lake and such, nothing could've prepared me for this! It really was a pain to sit through this flick, as there's no plot, no good acting and even the special effects aren't convincing, especially the so-called zombies, wearing nothing more than white make-up and their old clothes, so their good set wouldn't be ruined by ketchup and marmalade stains.

If you really want to waste 90 minutes of your life, then watch it, for all the others, don't do it, because you WILL regret it!

Maybe I've watched too many horror flicks or maybe I'm a possible serial killer myself :) but this movie was so darn predictable that in the end I got more scared of my fortune-telling skills than this movie. Trust me, we have all seen this before, and we've seen it better, a lot better! Especially since this movie has hardly anything to do with the original, I think this is just a cheap way to ride on the popularity of the first part and trying to get some more money out of your pocket.

Better keep it there and spend it on something else!

Tussenland was better than I expected it to be, it portrays the 'relationship' between and old, grumpy, Dutch man (Jakob) and a refugee from Soudan (Majok). The acting is so convincing it looks more like a documentary than a movie. John Kon Kelei, the boy who plays Majok is a refugee in real life, so maybe this movie is more 'real life' than a documentary or a movie anyway. If you like cultural movies, rather than mindless action-flicks, this is a movie you wouldn't want to miss for the world!

Alright, the first movie was great, I've seen it several times and it managed to send chills down my spine every time. Then there was the sequel, which still had it's moments, but wasn't nearly as good as the original. Then there were four other sequels which I won't even bother discussing here and then there is part 7 : Revelation. After seeing this one I can only ask myself one question...why? It's like watching Friday the 13th 4 : The Final Chapter and then finding out there are 6 more sequels (reminding you that Jason is pure evil, thus he won't be killed that easily, at least not in a movie that's called 'The Final Chapter':)).

What I'm only trying to say is that there's absolutely NO point to this movie whatsoever, a woman comes looking for her grandma who has disappeared, running into a bunch of evil children, some plot that makes no sense at all and even worse, this movie is so predictable it won't even scare you. In the first part we saw a big cornfield, which had something eerie, even if nothing happened, in this part we have a house with a small 'corn garden' in front of it (because there's no such thing as a Children Of The Corn movie without corn!) On top of that the acting is bad, really bad! The girl who plays Jamie isn't convincing at all, let alone the 'priest', who looks more like an escaped criminal.

To put it shortly, don't let the looks of the cover trick you into renting (or even worse, buying) it, because that cover is the best asset to this movie, cheerio to the designer of that particular cover, he's certainly worth his money.

Avoid at all costs!

The mad dentist is back for some more teeth-yanking mayhem. This movie wasn't interesting enough to keep my attention, although the inevitable dental carnage is gruesome enough to remind you of brushing your teeth everyday, so your dentist won't need to pull the drill on you. If you've seen the first movie, there's nothing you'll miss here, but regarding the "pinhead" open ending, I wouldn't be surprised if there'll be another sequel in the future.