reg_roversfan
Lifetime Total
5+
IMDb Member
21 years
Reviews
Hostel (2005)
Bland, unimaginative. Can't bring myself to call it a horror movie!
Off the few reviews I had to go on, this had been made out to be a scary, gory and entertaining horror flick. How wrong they were.
The main problem with writing a review of this film is that, in doing so, would give the plot away - that's how thin it is.
Essentially, some backpackers (one of which looks quite like Ryan Merriman from Final Destination 3) head to Slovakia on the advice of a guy they chance upon. The hostel they find themselves in is far from the utopia it seems.
There is little in the way of plot, it serves just to move the characters on from location to location getting gorier as it goes. Under scrutiny it doesn't hold together in the slightest. The only character you empathise with is killed off, the "bit part" characters are transparent and do little to guide the film. Essentially Hostel is several minutes of gore (not altogether that explicit) with a few more minutes of dialogue, a stupidly weak plot, laboured characters and a loose ending.
For my money, stay away from this carnival of horrors.
The main problem with writing a review of this film is that, in doing so, would give the plot away - that's how thin it is.
Essentially, some backpackers (one of which looks quite like Ryan Merriman from Final Destination 3) head to Slovakia on the advice of a guy they chance upon. The hostel they find themselves in is far from the utopia it seems.
There is little in the way of plot, it serves just to move the characters on from location to location getting gorier as it goes. Under scrutiny it doesn't hold together in the slightest. The only character you empathise with is killed off, the "bit part" characters are transparent and do little to guide the film. Essentially Hostel is several minutes of gore (not altogether that explicit) with a few more minutes of dialogue, a stupidly weak plot, laboured characters and a loose ending.
For my money, stay away from this carnival of horrors.
Thunderbirds (2004)
Fun, if light on Thunderbirds
Alan, the youngest of the Tracy brothers, longs to be a hero just like them and gets his chance when his father, Scott, Virgil, Gordon and John are trapped in space by the superbly-acted Hood (Sir Ben Kingsley) and he's the only one - along with youthful sidekicks Tintin and Furmat - who can save them.
If you go into this film imagining it to be anything like Gerry Anderson's original you'll almost certainly come out disappointed. However, that's not to say this film is without credit. Indeed it's pretty good fun, if littered with numerous cheesy lines that'll make anyone over the age of 8 cringe. "Time to thunderize!" is a case in point.
The film's opening shows Thunderbirds 1 & 2 rescuing oil rig workers from a blazing inferno and this, sadly - and to the film's detriment - is the majority of the action that they see. After the Hood has captured Tracy Island much of the 'action' centres around Alan, Fermat and Tintin running around the island trying to evade the Hood's sidekicks (who, incidently, are really rubbish). This drags on for too long and feels like an elaborate version of Home Alone set in the South Pacific. Thankfully the scene is saved by Lady Penelope and Parker's (undoubtedly the stars of the show) arrival to battle the crooks.
Penelope and Parker definitely get the best lines and carry off their characters brilliantly; almost putting their puppet counter-parts in the shade. Their fighting moves and O.T.T. Britishness rank as the biggest highlights of the film.
The company of Alan, Fermat and Tintin, with Penelope and Parker in tow, then take Thunderbird 1 to chase down the Hood who is busy stealing from the Bank of London in Thunderbird 2 and The Mole. The film then plays out a fairly predictable conclusion as the trio rescue some people trapped in a wrecked Monorail carriage and thwart the Hood's bank-robbery, with the Tracy family turning up just in time to watch. There's then a bit of cheesy father-son stuff before Alan can line up with his brothers - a fully-fledged member of International Rescue.
All-in-all it's not too bad, certainly aimed at kids, but with enough going on to keep most entertained. I mean, who can fail to be amused by Lady "I'm trying to be discrete" Penelope take off in a bright pink car driven by "Nosey" Parker? If there is a sequel I imagine it'll concentrate more on rescue than growing-up. At least, here's hoping it does!
Biggest gripe: Ford's blatant product placement almost ruins the film - I shall list a few examples: 'Lady P' leaves her stately mansion with a Ford Street Ka and Mondeo (I think) sitting in her driveway, all the news reports have a 'sponsored by ford' caption at the bottom, all the police cars are Ford mondeos, when the bad guys chase the kids through the jungle the camera spends about 5 seconds focusing on the large blue Ford sign on the front of the baddies' jeep.
If you go into this film imagining it to be anything like Gerry Anderson's original you'll almost certainly come out disappointed. However, that's not to say this film is without credit. Indeed it's pretty good fun, if littered with numerous cheesy lines that'll make anyone over the age of 8 cringe. "Time to thunderize!" is a case in point.
The film's opening shows Thunderbirds 1 & 2 rescuing oil rig workers from a blazing inferno and this, sadly - and to the film's detriment - is the majority of the action that they see. After the Hood has captured Tracy Island much of the 'action' centres around Alan, Fermat and Tintin running around the island trying to evade the Hood's sidekicks (who, incidently, are really rubbish). This drags on for too long and feels like an elaborate version of Home Alone set in the South Pacific. Thankfully the scene is saved by Lady Penelope and Parker's (undoubtedly the stars of the show) arrival to battle the crooks.
Penelope and Parker definitely get the best lines and carry off their characters brilliantly; almost putting their puppet counter-parts in the shade. Their fighting moves and O.T.T. Britishness rank as the biggest highlights of the film.
The company of Alan, Fermat and Tintin, with Penelope and Parker in tow, then take Thunderbird 1 to chase down the Hood who is busy stealing from the Bank of London in Thunderbird 2 and The Mole. The film then plays out a fairly predictable conclusion as the trio rescue some people trapped in a wrecked Monorail carriage and thwart the Hood's bank-robbery, with the Tracy family turning up just in time to watch. There's then a bit of cheesy father-son stuff before Alan can line up with his brothers - a fully-fledged member of International Rescue.
All-in-all it's not too bad, certainly aimed at kids, but with enough going on to keep most entertained. I mean, who can fail to be amused by Lady "I'm trying to be discrete" Penelope take off in a bright pink car driven by "Nosey" Parker? If there is a sequel I imagine it'll concentrate more on rescue than growing-up. At least, here's hoping it does!
Biggest gripe: Ford's blatant product placement almost ruins the film - I shall list a few examples: 'Lady P' leaves her stately mansion with a Ford Street Ka and Mondeo (I think) sitting in her driveway, all the news reports have a 'sponsored by ford' caption at the bottom, all the police cars are Ford mondeos, when the bad guys chase the kids through the jungle the camera spends about 5 seconds focusing on the large blue Ford sign on the front of the baddies' jeep.
Winky and the Gorgonzola Cheese (1914)
the second greatest farce of all time!
What a film? Nothing could have prepared me for the intimate sex scene within the first 11 seconds, who would have thought cheese could be used for that!?!?!?! I will never eat fondue again...that scene with the cheese dribbling down winky's uhh-hummm...yeah. I would not recommend this film to anybody, not even somebody I hated. Winky should be taken out and shot along with that fat woman and the director (Cecil). Don't ever ever ever watch this film, please, for the sake of humanity!!!! Ok, I am signing off now, to go back to living as a hermit and trying to avoid watching the sequel - Winky and the Leopard, i hear it's too extreme for television - an X-rating if you will.... Oh well, so long, and can someone send me some replacement eyeballs for the ones i scratched out whilst watching this film. DAMN YOU! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!
The Wolves of Willoughby Chase (1989)
A woeful attempt at a 'family' film
Quite simply 'The Wolves of Willoughby Chase' is one of the worst family based films I have ever seen. A distinct lack of plot or good acting contribute to what is a shallow and ineffective film that leaves the viewer bemused, and annoyed that they have lost several hours of their lives to this appalling movie. I would not recommend it to anyone, as it doesn't offer anything you would want from a film - no excitement, no storyline of any merit, no good characters, no way to identify yourself with any of the characters, no laughs, no car chases ;), simply - NO MERIT. A better way to spend the 3 hours of your life that this film takes up, would be to make a film of your own, even if you have no media knowledge you would still come up with a better film than this. A definite 1 out of 10 (and that is generous)
Ronin (1998)
A superb and intelligent action thriller.
Ronin is one of those films you will want to watch time and again, like Saving Private Ryan or the Matrix, it is action packed and the acting of both Jean Reno and Robert de Niro is simply fantastic. On that note, Robert de Niro plays the part of 'Sam' the ex-CIA man brilliantly, and the way he and Jean Reno relate on-screen is a marvel to behold. Other points to mention, have to be the car chases, driving the wrong way through a French tunnel takes your breath away. Without spoiling the plot, there are several exceptional and intelligently written set-pieces including gun-fights in a Colosseum and another with a group of arms dealers. Sean Bean is well cast as the 'weapons-man' who is not telling the 'Ronin' the whole truth, and the other actors all give well-rounded performances to make this an action-thriller worth watching.