kylehaines96

I can say confidently, without any ounce of bias, that this is the best project I've seen out of the Cleveland Filmmaking scene since I came into it. This is not a slight towards anyone else's projects I've reviewed, none whatsoever. This is just something I truly, deeply loved.

The film follows Jerry (CK Steele), or if you like "Jer-Bear". Jerry moonlights as a piano player, but by day, when he's not working at a coffee shop that's almost never busy, he's lounging around, usually drinking to numb whatever pain he's feeling. Jerry lives a troubled life, but his girlfriend Lydia (Robbie Barnes-Kyriakides) is there to help him as best she can.

There's a lot to delve into here. At 96 minutes, this film FLIES by. This is due in part to the fact that the film is made so well and executed so properly, that when the film ended, I was shocked there wasn't more. The story isn't anything new, but how it's told is captivating and brilliant. And the story turns are kinda nice in how they subvert the usual expectations. Jerry has a friend named Frank (Denzel "Denzy" Washington), and it seems as if there might be a confrontation between the two near the climax, but, refreshingly, there isn't. But, in order to talk about the story more, we gotta get to the performances.

Cody, or CK, is exceptionally brilliant here. I mean that sincerely. He has such a natural charm and charisma about him that, with one false step, could fall apart and break the facade. It thankfully doesn't and his turn is absolutely incredible. The pain that Jerry feels, masking it with booze and sarcasm, is very resounding. The film is largely funny at times (an uncomfortable meeting in a grocery store and a scene stealing Sean Manos are two of the biggest highlights), but when the film gets serious, it's handled with such grace. A moment with Jerry and his father (Rick Montgomery Jr.) is heartbreaking, aided by the two's dynamic turns. This leads into a very soul-baring therapy session, where Jerry has a break down scarily similar to one's I've had. This movie's portrayal of mental health is very well done; as someone with constant mental battles everyday, they got this right. Roger Conners plays the therapist here and is so calming and winning, that I wished he was in the film more. When he comforts Jerry, his voice was also like a comfort to the audience.

Robbie's turn as Lydia is so sweet. Not only is she compassionate, she's there for Jerry every step of the way. Robbie's talent shines here, as usual, but this may be her best turn yet. Denzel is fantastic as Frank, Someone with their head not all the way on their shoulders, but confident they have it all together. And then there's Lina Edwards as Emily, Jerry's coworker at the shop. She's not in the film a whole lot, but when she is, she lights up the screen with her mega-watt smile and terrific dimples that help bring her character, that of a freewheeling art student, a few more layers than normal. Also, Matthew Barnhart cameos as a smooooooooth talker in a bar, and it's so nice to see him act. He's soft spoken, which is a testament to his acting because normally he's LOUD AND FULL OF LIFE.

The music, composed by Eli Manos with songs written by Eli and Logan Slusser, is very well done. I loved the score; it doesn't overpower any scene its in and feels wholly natural. Manos is an absolute talent, as is Logan, who wrote and directed the picture. I met Logan last night (as well as Denzy and FINALLY Robbie, hello darling!) and he is a very down to earth guy. You can tell his heart and soul went into this thing and it shows every step of the way.

"Don't Shoot The Piano Man" is an outstanding piece of indie filmmaking, one that makes you overlook any small tech details (there are some audio issues that I overlooked because really it didn't matter) and whisks you away into a story as funny as it is heart wrenching. I absolutely adored this film, and actually want to see it again. I'm hoping it hits physical media soon (or maybe someone would send a copy along for private viewing) because I really want to watch this again. Roger Ebert often asked "How did this movie make me feel?" For me: rejuvenated, full of life and love, and hope for terrific things to come.

Leaving the bar last night, Cody took me aside and said "Kyle, you do amazing things, you do the best things, keep at it." Cody, you and the cast and crew of this film did an amazing job, and were some of the best at doing it.

FINAL GRADE: 4/4 Stars, Thumbs Up.

Rating: * Out Of **** Rated PG For Sci-Fi Action And Peril.

1hr 28min/88min.

Wow, this is one of the most misguided movies I have seen. It's heart is in the wrong place. This movie wants to tell children that they should be nice to their parents or else a spaceship is going to blast them off to mars.

Milo(Seth Green) is an 11 year-old boy who doesn't like chores. His mom(Joan Cusak) and him get in a huge fight, and when Milo goes to apologize, he sees his mom being put on a spaceship and being whisked away to mars. He stows away on the ship and finds out that the martians want to erase the memory of the mothers so they could learn how to be mothers.

This movie has an all too complicated plot for a children's movie. Halfway through, it starts to lose focus. The voice acting is incredibly off. We have wonderful actors and actresses behind the microphone, and they do nothing with them. This also has to have some of the most ugliest animation I have ever seen. It's not very well done and feels poor. The motion capture is awkward. The characters have a floaty movement about them.

However, Dan Fogle as Gribble in the film gives a charismatic, and at one point, Heartbreaking performance. But it's overshadowed by the awful performances, awkward motion capture,terrible animation and very pointless story.

Rating: **** Out Of ****.

Rated R For Bloody Violence, Crude And Sexual Content, Nudity, Language Throughout And Drug Use.

2hrs 10min/130min.

159 uses of the F-word.

In 1995, Daniel Lugo, Adrian Doorbal and Jorge Delgado banded together to become The Sun Gym Gang. Daniel was a body builder who felt that he should have a wealthier life because he's so fit. One day Marc Schiller, who was a rich family man, walked into the Sun Gym and was introduced to Daniel. Daniel, together with his friends Adrian and Jorge, they kidnapped Schiller and extorted him for everything he had. Schiller enlisted the help of Private Detective Ed Du Bois II who, at first believed the story to be outlandish but eventually caught on that it was real and promised to catch the guys behind this.

Since The Sun Gym Gang thought that their first job went so well they would do it again. They decided to go after phone sex line operator Frank Griga and his girlfriend. However, the plan goes awry when Adrian purposefully kills Griga and his girlfriend. To cover up the murders, they bought power tools and decided to dismember the bodies and but them in barrels to dump into the lake. The bodies were found and the gang was sentenced. Lugo and Doorbal received death sentences and Delgado received 15 years but only served 7. Lugo and Doorbal are sitting on Death Row and Delgado is currently free.

Now you might be asking yourself, "Did he just spoil the film?" The answer is both yes and no. Yes meaning I did just spoil it and no meaning that the film is based on true events and in all honesty, it's history so you should know what happens. This story of The Sun Gym gang fascinates me every time I see it. 3 body builders doing time for extortion, kidnapping, torture and murder. Now obviously they do take Hollywood liberties in the film. The actual story is Much more brutal and grisly. This story is horrifying and disturbing to me and it should be to you. Now, on to the movie.

Daniel Lugo(Mark Whalberg) is a troubled man who takes over the Sun Gym and triples it's member ship within 6 weeks. Over that time he meets a man name Victor Kershaw(Tony Shaloub), a rich tycoon who wants to get buff. Daniel wants to have a rich lifestyle like Kershaw and finds that the only way to do that is an extortion scheme. Lugo, along with his buddies Adrien Doorbal(Anthony Mackie) and Paul Doyle(Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson) kidnap Kershaw and take him to a warehouse. There, they proceed to torture him until he signs away almost everything he owns over to them. This plan works but Lugo fears that Kershaw will tell the cops of what happened. Lugo then plans to have Kershaw consume a ton of alcohol and drive his car into a pole. He survives this and the gang then sets the car on fire. They ignite the car and it explodes. Oddly Kershaw survives this and being run over twice by and SUV.

Kershaw enlists the help of Private detective Ed Du Bois II(Ed Harris) to take down the Sun Gym Gang. Meanwhile the gang wants to do another job and decide to extort Frank Griga and his girlfriend. Griga is a Rich phone sex operator and they have meeting almost immediately. However, the meeting goes sour quickly when Griga and Lugo get in a heated argument. Then, in the scuffle, Griga is accidentally murdered by Lugo when a weight set impales him. In order to clean up the mess, the gang dismembers the bodies, and grills the dismembered hands of the couple to erase fingerprints. They then put the bodies in barrels and are eventually caught shortly after. The rest, as they say, is history.

The first thing to discuss is the casting. Mark Whalberg Fits the role of Daniel Lugo, a man who wanted the rich lifestyle and would go to any lengths to get it. Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson is perfect as Paul Doyle(name changed from Jorge Delgado), a man who didn't really want to go through a whole extortion scheme but wanted a ton of money. Anthony Mackie breathes the role of Adrien Doorbal who in real life was a sadistic sociopath who went too far for money.

Now the biggest problem that people have with the movie is that this real-life story, is turned into a dark comedy. People say that you shouldn't;t sympathize with these characters. Personally, I don't care. If the comedy works, it works and here, I think it does work. This movie is here to give you a true story and entertain you. Now be warned, this film gets incredibly intense in the last 45 minutes, so be cautioned. I think that this is the best film of the year so far. Will it win any awards, No, but to me, it gets Best film of the year so far from me

Rating: **1/2 Out Of ****.

Rated PG-13 For Crude And Sexual Content Throughout, Language, Some Drug Material, Partial Nudity, Comic Violence And Gore.

1hr 26min/86min.

1 use of the F-word.

Let me give you my quick opinions of the first four Scary Movies. Scary Movie Was a smart and original concept that was extremely funny. It was a huge hit with audiences and critic's so a sequel was made. Scary Movie 2 was a movie that was not as good as the first but still had a lot of fresh ideas. Scary Movie 3 is my personal favorite with Scary Movie 4 trailing on it's heels. So with talks of a Scary Movie 5 has been in the talks for a few years, and now that we have it, was it worth the wait? Well.. Yes and No. Yes meaning that it is nice to see a new installment in the franchise and No meaning that it doesn't feel like the first 4 due to the absence of The original cast members. That being said, this film isn't terrible, just not as good as the others.

The film starts with Charlie Sheen and Lindsay Lohan in bed together when they are suddenly interrupted by spiritual/ Paranormal activity going on in the house. Charlie and Lindsay are eventually killed. The story then moves to Jodi(Ashley Tisdale) replacing Cindy, who goes looking for Charlie's three missing children. Her and her husband(Simon Rex) Take in the children who claim that they can make contact with the spirit of their dead mother. In order to vanquish the spirit they need to acquire The Book Of The Dead o reverse the curse that brought their mother up from the dead.

Scary Movie 5 Has gags that work(Hence, the thumbs up rating) but some gags that fall flat on their face. When a gag doesn't work in this type of movie, it really doesn't work. This movie isn't going to be the next Ben-Hur, It is strictly meant to entertain. Yes it does have childish gags but once you get past that, It's stupid humor that's their to entertain. The only reason why you wouldn't want to see this is because you didn't like the first 4. That said I would Recommend this as a rental but nothing higher.

Rating: 1/2* Out Of ****.

Rated PG-13 For Sexual Material, Language And Drug References.

1hr 52min/112min.

Pitch Perfect is a great contender for the most overrated film of 2012. This film is astonishingly bad. I went into the film with an open mind and had actually heard really good things. What I eventually thought of the film after watching it was that not only was it overrated but it was jawdroppingly bad. The film has absolutely bad jokes, horribly written dialogue, no memorable performances and surprising to vulgar for a PG-13 rating. The film was of course slapped with a PG-13 rating so that way 12 year old girls can watch 500 times and annoy everybody with renditions of The Cup Song Anna Kendrick does in the film. Let me take you through all of the problems I had with the film and why I think it's overrated.

The film follows Becca(Anna Kendrick) who wants to go to L.A. to be a full blown record producer. Instead she joins an accapella group called The Barden Bellas who, four months ago, had a tragic mishap in which the lead singer vomited all over the stage. Among the group is Fat Amy(Rebel Wilson) Chloe(Britney Snow) and much more. They go up against an all male acapella group called The Treblemakers led by Nicholas(Adam DeVine) in a tough competition to see who is the best acapella group on the campus.

First, there are two things that save the film from a Zero Star rating. They are Adam DeVine and Rebel Wilson. They have the smartest and best and funniest written dialouge in the film. DeVine is best known for his performance on the extremely funny Comedy Central TV show Workaholics and transfers to this film quite well. Rebel Wilson is sweet and funny but I feel like she is just the predictable comedic relief with the typical fat person jokes but she does it well. That's about all I liked of the movie. But they are not in the film enough to warrant a 1 star rating. Half of one star is all this movie is getting. Also the acapella singing of the Universal Pictures logo was a nice touch.

First off, this movie has a fascination with vomit. It's gross and also wants to make me vomit. The dialouge is poorly written filled with some of the worst puns I have ever heard. "Aca-scuse me?" "We are gonna be Aca-Awesome!" ENOUGH! If I hear one more "Aca" pun I'm gonna shoot myself in the foot! Anna Kendrick performance is surprisingly boring and is the least interesting character which surprises me since her performance, albeit a small one, was fantastic in End Of Watch. Here, it looks like she could care less. The MPAA should be closely evaluated. I think this film should been given an R Rating. They give Bully, a really good film an R for language(Later re-rated to PG-13) but this film has drug references and sexual references galore to warrant an R but Because 11-12 year girls want to watch BOOM, PG-13. The joke are really bad. The only one I laughed at besides the ones said by Wilson and DeVine is the Rape whistle joke. This movie should be banished to depths of Cinematic Hell. Before I go I just want to say that shame on you the people that told me that this movie was good and funny. This is a great case of over-hyped cinema. Talenteed actors like DeVine, Wilson and Christopher Mintz-Plasse are wasted in this pile of Garbage. To quote the Schmoes of Schmoes Know, this movie STOINKED!

Rating: *** Out Of ****.

Rated R For Pervasive Language, Some Sexual Content And Violence.

1hr 49min/109min.

111 Uses of the F-word.

Mark Whaleberg may not be the best actor in Hollywood right now, but he does turn out some fun and entertaining films. In 2012, he turned out films like The fun and thrilling Contraband and the hilarious Ted, but with Broken City, it seems like he's playing the typical tough, pretty boy with some of the most clichéd back-story I have ever heard. But it somehow fits in a movie like this. It seems very odd pairing him up with a big time, Oscar-winning actor like Russel Crowe. But they actually work together. If you couldn't tell from the trailer, you would know that Mark Whaleberg is the good guy and Russel Crowe is the bad guy.

Billy Taggart(Mark Whaleberg) is stripped of his duties from the FBI Due to an incident whether he murdered someone due to self-defense or just straight-up murder. He is then appointed as a Private Investigator and is hired by the Mayor Nicholas Hostetler(Russel Crowe) who wants to find out if his wife(Catherine Zeta-Jones) is having an affair or not, all the while, Hostetler is trying to get re-elected.

The plot is something we have seen before with all of the generic and predictable plot twists, but this film has the right actors playing the part of these characters. Mark Whaleberg is good as the tough, pretty guy, and Catherine Zeta-Jones is decent as the rich girl who can get anything she wants. But the standout performer is Russel Crowe as the two-faced Mayor. He gives out a tremendous performance however the only downfall is that this film runs 109 minutes and Crowe is only in the film for about 25 minutes. He disappears many times throughout the film and leaves you feeling a little cheated.

Is Broken City worth your time and money. Yes and No. Yes because you will see great performances by the two lead actors and No because it just feels like all of the political thrillers out there. Even though I said this film was good I would just say either rent or buy this film when it comes out on DVD or Blu-Ray. It's Good Popcorn entertainment.

Rating: **** Out Of ****.

Rated R For Srong Pervasive Crude And Sexual Content Including Dialouge, Graphic Nudity, Language, Some Violence And Drug Use.

1hr 37min/97min.

73 uses of the F-word.

What is it that makes critics turn away in disgust at Movie 43? Is it because it's not funny? Is it because it's vulgar? Is it because it's tasteless? Yes. Critics turn their noses at this film because they can't have fun. I went into this film expecting nothing but pure garbage. When I came out I was pleasantly surprised. The film is a sketch comedy film. People often compare it to The Kentuckey Fried Movie, Amazon Women On The Moon and The Groove Tube. However the way critics are treating it remind me of a terrible sketch comedy film from 1999 called The Underground Comedy Movie. That film had terrible sketches that felt like work to sit through. This film makes me feel joy-us that I sat through it. Is it a perfect movie? No. But it is a fun movie to sit down and have a good laugh.

The film has a wraparound story to tie all of these sketches together. This is called "The Pitch". Charlie Wessler (Dennis Quaid) is an aspiring screen-writer. He takes his new script to Griffin Schraeder (Greg Kinnear) and pitches him his script which are the sketches in the film. When Griffin doesn't want to listen to his script anymore, Charlie pulls out a gun and threatens to kill him unless he listens to the rest of his script. If you live outside of the United States, then you got a sketch called "The Thread". This features a group of three teenage boys who want to search for the most banned film ever made, following the 43rd rule of the internet which is, "You can find anything you are looking for as long as you keep looking". The first sketch is called "The Catch". Beth (Kate Winslet) is going on a blind date with the city's most eligible bachelor Davis (Hugh Jackman). Ther's only one problem. Davis has a scrotum hanging from his neck, to which only Beth acknowledges.

"Homeschooled" has a group of parents (Naomi Watts and Leiv Scheiber) Who feel that their homeschooled son (Jeremy Allen White) is not in a normal high school environment unless he has all of the negative aspects rolled right in. "The Proposition" Features Anna Faris who wants her boyfriend (Chris Pratt) to defecate on her because she is a coprophilliac. "Veronica" has Veronica (Emma Stone) having a loud, rude and vulgar conversation with her ex-boyfriend Neil (Kieran Culkin) over the intercom of Neil's store. "The Proposition", By the way has a very ending, if you know what I mean.

In "iBabe" Richard Gere plays the head of a company that makes a music player in the form of a naked woman. However they have problems with it when boys try to have sex with it and get hurt due to a fan in the womans (whistles). They decide to move the vent to the ear. "Superhero Speed Dating" has Batman (Jason Sudekis) and Robin (Justin Long) are at a speed dating event to try and defuse a planted bomb. "Middleschool Date" Has a boy (Jimmy Bennet) and a girl (Chloe Grace Mortez) on their first date. But the date goes awry when the girl starts having her period and neither the boy, his brother (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) or his father (Patrick Warburton) Know the proper thing to do. In "Happy Birthday" Pete (Johnny Knoxville) gets a leprachaun (Gerard Butler) for a birthday present to his buddy Brian (Sean William Scott) But alls not well when the Leprachauns brother (also Gerard Butler) shows up.

In "Truth Or Dare" Halle Berry and Stephen Merchant are playing a game of Truth Or Dare to make themselves more comfortable, but the game rapidly gets out of hand. "Victory's Glory" Has a basketball coach (Terrence Howard) coaching his all black team to victory in the year of 1959. The last sketch is called "Beezel" which has a 2D animated cat getting in the way of the relationship of Elizabeth Banks and Josh Duhamel. The film has a lot of jokes that hit but the humor in the film is questionable. I love films that take risks and is a big, giant "Screw You" to Hollywood. Actors can get stereotyped. This film proves that actors can be vulgar yet funny while doing it.

Rating: **1/2 Out Of ****.

Rated R For Sexual Content And Language.

46 uses of the F-word.

1hr 51min/111min.

Identity Thief is being pushed as one of the funniest comedies of the year due to the star power behind it. The real question is, "Is the film funny?" Well yes, but people might have anticipated a fun comedy with Jason Bateman and Melissa McCarthy. Instead they will get a midly funny and occasionally hilarious movie wit Bateman and McCarthy. The film falls into the perfect example of movies showing 75-80% of the funny parts in the film trailer. That's not me bashing the film. **1/2 is a decent rating given from me. It means I like the film, But it is it something you have to rush out and go see. The answer is no. While the movie is funny, there isn't enough strong material to warrant you going to the theater to see it. It's good popcorn entertainment, but that's all this film really is.

Sandy Bigelow Patterson(Jason Bateman) is your typical, normal everyday working man. He has got a lovely wife and two, soon to be three daughters. Also, he's got the same birthday as me, May 18th so that's a plus. One day, he gets taken down to the local police station to come to realiztion anyones worst nightmare: his identity has been stolen. By who you may ask? A woman named Diana(Mellisa McCarthy) who has stolen a lot of peoples Identities. Patterson's job is on the line and in order to keep it, he has to travel down to Florida and apprehend Diana. Diana however, unexpectedly has two narcotics dealers show up at her door(Genisis Roderiquez and T.I.) and demand money for their deal. All the while they are being chased by Robert Patrick. His motive is a little unclear but hey, he is entertaining to watch.

The film has only one thing going for it. Her name is Melissa McCarthy. She is extremely Funny and the whole reason to watch the film. It also has another thing going for it and thats Jason Bateman. The chemistry between these 2 is brilliant. The film is a road movie and instantly Planes Trains And Automobiles came into my mind quite a bit while watching. These two have incredibly written dialouge. However not all of the writing hits. About 70% of it does. The script could have definitely been reworked in certain parts. The film also runs too long. You could have cut 20-25minutes out of the film and it wouldn't make one bit of difference.

The subplot with The two drug dealers and Robert Patrick could have been completely cut out. They serve absolutely no purpose to the story and I would have done a lot better without it. So if you cut out all of the things I mentioned, you would have a film that only runs 80 minutes. Maybe that's what they should have done. However, I won't stop you from seeing this film. That's why I am going to say that you should just stick to renting Identity Thief. I'm glad I saw it, but it's more like a one and done movie for me. I don't really have the desire to see it again anytime soon but maybe, in about 2-3 years, I'll check it out again.

Rating: **** Out Of ****.

Rated R For Violence, Disturbing Content And Some Language.

1hr 34min/94min.

6 uses of the F-word The Call is the new Thriller from Brad Anderson, Who directed The Machinist, and stars Halle Berry and Abigail Breslin. Watching the trailer for the film, I was expecting a typical but entertaining thriller film, about a 911 operator. What I got Instead was the most nerve-wracking, Intense film I have ever seen. The trailer for this movie does not do it the least bit of justice, you have to go see this film for yourself. The film features great performances, an original story and a break-neck, intense pace that I have not seen in a film yet. The film was so intense that I was shaking 30 minutes after I left the film, it is that good.

Jordan Turner(Halle Berry) is a 911 operator, who is having a normal day at work. A call comes in from a 17-year-old girl who is calling of a man who is intruding on her home. Jordan devises a plan to have the girl open the window and hide under the bed to trick the killer into thinking she has left. The plan works but as he is about to leave, the phone disconnects. Jordan makes the mistake of re-dialing. The man hears the phone and finds the girl upstairs. The next morning, the girl is found dead in a ditch in the middle of a field.

Six Months Later, Jordan has now quit as a dispatcher and is now training new recruits. A call comes in of a 17 year old girl named Casey Welson(Abigail Breslin) who has been kidnapped and put in the trunk of a car. Jordan takes the call and speaks with Casey to calm her down. However when Jordan Hears the voice of the killer, she realizes that it is the same voice of the man who killed the other girl six months earlier. Jordan decides that she should take matters into her own hands before the man kills Casey.

The characters are very well developed in the film, but what brings these characters to life are the performers. Halle Berry is the perfect choice to play Jordan. Berry brings to life the character who is going through a rough patch, and is still tormented by that horrific call six months earlier. Halle Berry is so good that when I was watching her on-screen, I didn't see Halle Berry, I saw The character of Jordan Turner who has been haunted and quit her job due to it. I will admit, I was skeptical of Abigail Breslin, but she was also very good. Her first scene is with her and her friend at a mall and the dialouge between them is what you would hear between to teen girls. When she is abducted I really felt like she was being kidnapped. The killer who is portrayed by Michael Eklund is truly frightening as this mentally disturbed, monstrous being. Why he is doing this, I can't say because it reveals the ending.

The story is very original. I thought this was going to be a generic and clichéd thriller, but I never expected a film this original. The film moves a very break-neck speed. This film made me jump many times and made me tense up. I was still shaking 30 minutes after the film was over and I had left the theater. If a film can get me to do that, than that means that it earns a spot on my best of the year list. This is a film that everyone should see, however if you are easily disturbed than this film is not for you. This does have an intense and disturbing tone. But hey, if you love movies like that, than this is for you. Judging by the box office totals, everyone is loving it.

Rating: *** Out Of ****.

Rated R For Strong Violence And Language Throughout.

1hr 59min/119min.

48 uses of the F-word.

Olympus Has Fallen Seems like it could be a summer blockbuster and a really well done action movie. However, the film plays like a mediocre yet fun action film. The film is directed by Antoine Fuqua who also directed 2001's Training Day and 2010's Brooklyn's Finest, both films are riveting well made films. Olympus Has Fallen has a lot of opportunities that Fuqua makes and many that he doesn't. Instead of a smart film, it plays off as a fun Die Hard Clone.

Mike Banning(Gerard Butler) is the bodyguard to President Ashby(Aaron Eckhart) who is fired after an accident in which the President's wife dies after a car accident on a snowy road. 2 years later he returns when the White House is taken over by a group of terrorists and hold the President hostage which leaves Speaker Trumbull(Morgan Freeman) as acting president. Mike decides to take matters into his own hands and fights his way through the White House and save the President before it's too late.

The acting is how you would expect in a film like this; not very good. The performances are sub-par with only 2 standout performers, Morgan Freeman and Aaron Eckhart. However even though Eckhart is credited as the main performer, he is only in the film for 25 minutes, which is not enough time to develop a strong President. Why is Banner fighting for him? Why do the terrorists care the most about him? We never know. Morgan Freeman is good in any movie he is in but only in it for 15 minutes. Gerard Butler plays the typical bad-ass in an action film and Dylan McDermott plays a typical villain. But I will say that it has a very diverse assortment of actors.

The story is what redeems the film. I will say that they had some serious balls to make a movie about a national monument being attacked which might provoke images of 9/11. You also have some terrific action scenes and some great special effects. However we do have he stereotypical foreign terrorists, but they are surprisingly More brutal then the usual movie terrorists, Is the film worth seeing. Yes. I would say that I would buy it on Blu-Ray when it comes out because it was fun even though we have not-so strong performances.

*This is my last review on IMDb. You can now find my reviews on Cinemasickness.com/Teamsickness.

I take it upon myself to re-watch movies to see if they are worse or better than I remember. I reviewed this film as my 200th review. Consider this a rewrite. Since then I saw reviews saying that this was a film to see and it was some peoples favorite film, which is weird but I am not one to judge people. I am here to judge this film. Is it better or worse than when I reviewed i?. Well believe it or not, it somehow manages to be worse than before. There is no other film that has made me more disgusted and has made me angrier than Meet The Feebles. This movie is so bad that I could analyze and nitpick every single thing wrong about this film but I'll spare you the time. When I revisited this film I saw at least 15 things that I left out of my original review. So let's get started.

Heidi The Hippo is upset because, during rehearsal, Trevor The Rat insults her. Heidi Runs to her lover Bletch The Walrus (Which provokes interesting thoughts) and Bletch comforts her. Beltch is secretly having an affair with Samantha The Siamese Cat (and shows you all of their Interactions). We also have Harry The Hare who gets sick after "Little Bunny Froo Froo" went hopping through the forest. Also a hedgehog who is in love with a poodle, a chicken married to an elephant, a drug addicted frog and the walrus doing drug deals. This I can not make up.

Well the story is a good place to start. The main story itself is buried under so many ridiculous subplots it's awful. Also the movie does not know which story to go to because the film keeps jumping around like I just opened a can of Jumping Beans. The stories are terrible, every single one of them. Now all of the plots I mentioned are only half of what is in the film. The rest are either not worth mentioning, or I can't put them in this review or else the wonderful folks over at IMDb Would kick me off forever. We wouldn't want that now would we?

The characters... are the most disgusting and vile creatures I have ever seen. The Hippo is star hungry, The walrus is money hungry, The frog is a drug addicted wreck, The rabbit likes to go hopping without protection, The rat is an adult film director and plus there is an Indian running around with his head up his own Rectum! What the hell is going on here? I feel like someone was taking a ride on the LSD train while writing this. These Characters Are Mean-Spirited and soulless. You want investing characters? HA! Don't be ridiculous! There are no characters that you can invest in. Well there are 2 but to be honest they only have 4 minutes of screen time each. Thats not Good.

This movie also tries to pass itself off as a musical. I find that hard to believe because there is not a single song in this worthless piece of trash that you can remember, and if you do remember the songs, they stick in your head until you want to put a gun to your head and pull the trigger. The soundtrack includes such classics like, "I got one leg missing", "The S***** Song" and the always classic "Garden Of Love". Meet The Feebles does not pass as a musical. A comedy that does pass as a musical is the 1999 film, South Park Bigger Longer & Uncut. That movie was also a satire, and it worked. This does not. Oh, and by the way, Just what the hell is this movie trying to be a satire of, because I'm not seeing it. Apparently, My intelligence is no match for this film.

The Ending. This movie features, without a doubt, the worst ending in a feature-length motion picture I have ever seen. There will be spoilers but in all honesty you should stay away from this film. The ending starts with Heidi Trying to commit suicide by hanging herself but due to her being fat(Ha-Ha), she falls down to the basement. She then grabs a gun and decides to go on a shooting rampage. By this point in the film I wanted strangle myself, but I pushed on because there was less than 10 minutes left. She literally kills everybody but 6 people. The Hedgehog and the Poodle have kids(I'm Not sure how that would work), The Elephant and his son live a quiet life, And the worm retires. The next moment made me so mad I wanted to punch the screen I was watching. The Hippo gets only 10 years and then goes to work in a supermarket. Are you kidding me?!!? "Have you had any criminal history". "Oh nothing big, just that I went on a big shooting rampage and killed over 50 people". "Your Hired!".

This is the most Abysmal, Appalling, Asinine, Atrocious, Awful, Broken, Clumsy, Coarse, Cold-Hearted, Confused, Corrupt, Cruel, Despicable, Dirty, Disgusting, Disheveled, Dishonorable, Dreadful, Evil, Filthy, Foul, Ghastly, Gross, Grotesque, Harmful, Horrendous, Horrible, Immature, Inelegant, Insane, Junky, Lousy, Malicious, Mean, Misshapen, Monstorous, Nasty, Negative, Objectionable, Offensive, Painful, Questionable, Repulsive, Repugnant, Revolting, Rotten, Rude, Ruthless, Sad, Savage, Shocking, Sickening, Sinister, Slimy, Sorry, Spiteful, Stupid, Terrible, Ugly, Unapolegetic, Unfavorable, Unpleasant, Unsatisfactory, Unwanted, Unwelcome, Unholesome, Unwise, Vice, Vicious, Vile, Villainous, Vindictive, Wicked, Wortless movie I have ever seen. I have never seen a movie so shallow that people would actually say it's supposed to funny. This movie gets nothing right. The only thing that this movie succeeds at is pissing me off! This is without a doubt the worst film I have ever seen.

Not Rated.

1hr 33min/93min.

BOMB/****

Let me take you back to 2004. I was 6 years old and I loved Spongebob to death and so did every kid around me. When I heard that there was going to be a movie based on the show I was excited I could not wait to see it. However My Mom was extremely reluctant to take me to see this because she downright hated Spongebob but a week after the movie premiered and To this day I remember watching everything unfold on the big screen. Fast forward 9 years later. Today there is as big as a Spongebob Fanbase than you could imagine. Due to this, I wanted to revisit the film and see if it holds up like I remembered. Well, after giving the film another watch, I can say that not only does it hold up, but it's better than I remembered.

Spongebob Squarepants voiced by Tom Kenny is eagerly awaiting a new manager promotion over at the newly built Krusty Krab 2, which is built right next to the original. However Spongebob does not get the job due to him not being mature enough. He then goes to an Ice Cream restaurant along with his buddy Patrick voiced by Bill Fagerbakke and they just get wasted off of Ice cream. The next morning they wake up from an Ice cream hangover and as Spongebob is getting ready to chew out his boss Mr. Krabs, voiced by Clancy Brown, King Neptune voiced by Jeffery Tambor and his daughter Mindy voiced by Scarlett Johanssen come to The Krusty Krab To find Mr. Krabs. Neptune than freezes Krabs after hearing Krabs stole his beloved crown. Meanwhile Plankton voiced by Mr. Lawrence is the real stealer of the crown is no planning to enact his dreaded Plan Z And it's up to Spongebob an Patrick to stop Plankton and get back Neptune's crown.

First off, the animation is exquisite, there is just no other word for it. This is one of last films to be traditionally animated rather than be CGI. The detail on the characters expressions, plus the way the light hits their face is all beautiful. Also the locations look phenomenal, with the way the film transitions from The safe town of Bikini Bottom to the dark, dank and musty look of The trenches of Shell City.

The voice acting is done well for 2 reasons. The first being that the voices match the personalities of these Sea Creatures but also, it is the same voice cast from the show. This film also has smartly written dialouge. This is not only a movie that can appeal to Kids but Adults too. The movie doesn't downplay children like some recent animated films, It has jokes that may fly over children's head like the Ice Cream Hangover scene. Recently, animated films are all CGI, but it's nice to look back at the traditional animation and say that it can still be done.

I would not only recommend this film to children and fans of the show, Although recently the show hasn't been doing so well, but I would recommend this film to adults. Like I stated this film does have jokes that appeal to adults but it is not the raunchy type of humor you would find in shows such as Family Guy or South Park. Plus the film is the perfect escape from reality.

Rted PG For Some Mild Crude Humor.

1hr 27min/87min.

****/****

Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer are the new writing duo on the scene and probably one of the more famous writing teams but for all of the wrong reasons. They are known for writing and directing some of the worst films I have ever seen. Who could forget the soon to be Academy Award Winning classics Epic Movie or Date Movie and of course Meet The Spartans. All of them terribly Unfunny. Then comes Disaster movie, 1 of 3 films written by the duo to come out in the year 2008. The first being the awful Meet The Spartans, the second being Superhero Movie which believe it or not is actually really funny, and the third being this. This makes me ponder the question: Why on earth do people find this funny. It may say from 2 of the 6 writers of Scary Movie but look, there were 6 writers for Scary Movie. How do these two untalented unfunny writers keep getting work? Just because they wrote Scary Movie doesn't mean they can transfer their work into movies like this.

25-year-old Will played by Matt Lanter is getting ready for his Sweet 16 birthday party because he never had one. His girlfriend Amy played by Vanessa Lachey is having a rocky relationship with Will but gives him one more chance. Wills friend Calvin played by Gary Johnson along with his girlfriend Lisa played by Kim Kardashian throw Will a great party filled with a High School Musical song and dance number. However the party is cut short by meteors falling down to earth. Will, Amy, Calvin, Lisa and Juno played by Crista Flannigan Try to find Shelter until the shower is finished. They come across colorful characters along the way like the crew form Sex And The City, Batman and the princess from Enchanted.

Now the movie actually, believe it or not, has a few funny moments in it. The Dr. Phil and Hancock Impersonators are pretty funny and Tony Cox has a really funny cameo as Indiana Jones and has the best written dialouge in the film. Now the rest of the film is not funny at all. What Jason Friedberg and Aaron Seltzer find funny is the useless contrived potty humor and of course the ever funny gay jokes. This movie can't go five minutes without cracking a gay joke. There is a scene in the film where the character of Will is tackled by a naked Beowoulf. Ha-Ha.

There are two songs in the film. The first song which is the High School Musical song. Listen to these soon-to-be-classic lyrics: "We'll All be friends forever, Unless a random Disaster Destroys the city". Ha Ha. Also we have the song I'm F****** Matt Damon, Again HA-HA. Half of the stuff in this film made me say What was the joke? For example, when Hannah Montana Gets crushed by a boulder but she keeps dying and coming back to life. Whats The Joke? Maybe I don't understand it but apparently other people did because this movie made money. Why, I don't know. Now I love stupid humor, one of my favorite films of all time is Napoleon Dynamite but wow this movie is bad. I am going to use a term from the online film critic duo Schmoes Know, This movie Stoinks!

Wow! This is one of the worst films I have ever seen. This movie is not funny. It is poor and unfunny it is tedious to watch. I Hated Hated Hated Hated Hated This Movie. It has insulted the Intelligence of not only me and the intelligence of cinema but it has insulted the intelligence of the American people. Shame on you anybody who payed money to see this movie in theaters.

Rated PG-13 For Crude And Sexual Content Throughout, Language, Drug References And Comic Violence.

Theatrical: 1hr 27min/87min. Unrated: 1hr 28min/88min.

Theatrical: 1 use of the F-word. Unrated: 60 uses of the F-word.

1/2*/****

Kick-Ass is a unique film. It is a film that definitely falls under the "Take-No-Prisoners" category. The film is brutal and vulgar and it is deliciously demented. Kick-Ass is a brilliant comic book written by Mark Millar, and yes, there are differences between the comic book and film, but I don't go into a movie adapted from source material and nitpick if one character didn't do something he did in the book. However I do pay attention to see if it lives up to the book. Films like "Percy Jackson And The Olympians The Lightning Thief" and "Alex Rider: Operation Stormbreaker" are terrible adaptations of the original source material. Kick-Ass is one of the films that follows the book but makes changes, for a reason. If everything in the novel was in the film, than it would have been rated NC-17, which is the stamp of death for movies.

The films follows Dave Lizewski played by Aaron Johnson is pondering the age-old question: How come nobody wants to be a Superhero? After the crime rate has gone up in his city he decides he wants to dress up like a superhero and take down some thugs. However, his first encounter does not go so well as he is stabbed and hit by a car. Miraculously, he survives and decides to have another go at it. He launches into worldwide fame after a video is posted online of him beating up 3 thugs, goes viral. He goes to do another job but the plan goes awry when the gang member gets the upper hand. He is then helped by Hit-Girl played by Chloe Grace Mortez and her father Big Daddy played by Nicholas Cage. The films villain Frank D'amico played by Mark Strong and his son Chris played by Christopher Mintz-Plasse devise a plan to kidnapped Kick-Ass by having Chris be a new Superhero named Red-Mist. The rest is for you to watch the film and find out for yourself.

The films acting is very strong. Aaron Jonson is very good in his film debut as the title character. Chloe Grace Mortez is very good and vulgar in her debut as well. Christopher Mintz-Plasse is of course good as the sort of awkward kid who wants to make it big. Nicholas Cage is always great and fun to watch. He is especially hilarious as the gun toting nut Big Daddy.

The story is different yet original. This is sort of the Anti Superhero movie. This film brings to light that Superheroes don't always win. I love it. It's a bold approach and it is different to see superheroes placed in more danger than the PG-13 cookie cutter comic book movies. I have nothing wrong with those movies but I would love to see something different.

This film has two types of humor. The genuinely funny humor that happens from dialouge exchanges from characters, and the shocking humor. A perfect example is when Chloe Grace Mortez, who was 11 years old when filming is swearing all over the place with her saying lines like, "Okay you C***s, lets see what you can do." The character development is great and the characters of Big Daddy and Hit Girl have amazing back-stories. Hit Girl's mom died of a prescription drug overdose while her father was in prison. Big Daddy's motivation for going after Frank is that Frank put him in prison and left Hit Girl without a father for a few years. These characters have a motivation for getting their revenge.

Laslty I want to advise a warning. This film is extremely brutal, vulgar and violent. The torture scene in the film is very brutal and hard to watch. I know this sounds crazy but the torture scene in the book is more brutal than the film. Also there is blood galore in this film but has the same amount or less amount of blood than in the book. They wanted to make this movie PG-13 but, honestly, it would not have worked. Also 80% of the violence is enacted by a child who is Chloe Grace Mortez. This may be hard to watch and that is understandable. Lastly there is a brief but painful scene where Hit Girl is getting strangled by Frank. By me awarding this film 4 stars, I am not promoting child violence or violence against children, as a matter of fact it sickens me, But this is a movie based off of a comic book. It is not realistic and It is heavily stylized. I understand if you find this material hard to watch, but lets be honest an 11 year old girl is not going to go on a murderous rampage. Roger Ebert famously gave the film 1 star out of 4 saying "Should I be cool, or have a Heart?" I am not cool by rating the film 4 stars but I am being honest. So was Roger Ebert and I respect him for it.

This film earns my 4 star rating. The acting is strong, the story is brilliant and the film is brutally fun and shockingly funny. Kick-Ass is a movie with brutality but heart. This is a comic book film not to be missed.

Rated R For Strong Brutal Violence Throughout, Pervasive Language, Sexual Content, Nudity And Some Drug Use- Some Involving Children.

1hr 57min/117min.

112 uses of the F-word.

****/****

Quentin Tarantino is my all-time favorite director. He makes very unique films like Reservoir Dogs, Pulp Fiction, Jackie Brown, Kill Bill and Inglourious Basterds. He has come out with another film which is now tied with End Of Watch as being the best film of the year. Now I don't have to like everything Quentin Tarantino but every thing I have seen of him but I have seen everything he has done and they are all fantastic including this one.

The film starts in 1858, 2 years before the civil war, with Dr. King Schultz played by Christoph Waltz who comes across a group of slaves and requires the help of one. That happens to be Django played by Jamie Foxx. Shultz is a bounty hunter and needs the help of Django to find The Brittle Brothers who had kidnapped Django's wife and took her away. They soon find and kill The Britlle Brothers(Not a spoiler because this happens 40 minutes into the movie) and find out that Django's Wife Broomhilda played by Kerry Washington has been taken to a plantation known as Candyland run by Calvin Candie played by Leonardo DiCaprio.

Calvin and Shultz negotiate at dinner the selling of a slave fighter but Calvin's assistant Stephen played by Samuel L. Jackson notices that Django and Broomhilda seem to know each other. Calvin then sells Broomhilda to Shultz and Django after threatening to kill Broomhilda. (Spoilers Ahead. Skip to the next paragraph if you have not seen this film which shame on you, you should see it.) Shultz then shoots and kills Candie after Candie's behavior and then a brutal and bloody shootout which results in the death of Schultz. Django Then ,with Broomhilda, go back to the plantation and kill the remaining betrayers and blows Calvins house to smithereens as Django and Broomhilda Ride off into the night.

There is a scene in Django Unchained Where Django executes a bloody shootout and when I say Bloody, I mean so gruesome that I am surprised that this got away with an R Rating but I am glad it did so I could see it. This shooting is not realistic but it is so good and a pivotal scene in the film and it is awesome.

The film has great acting. I hope Jamie Foxx gets nominated for Best Actor and not 1, but 3 people going for Best Supporting Actor, Christoph Waltz, Leonardo DiCaprio and Samuel L. Jackson. Kerry Washington for best Actress. Everybody in this film does a great job and this is some of the best acting I have seen in a film.

The music is fantastic with the original Django theme in the opening credits. While I really do not like, sorry, hate rap, I think the rap music fits very well into the film. The theme of Spaghetti Western music is great.

The story is awesome. I love the time period it is set in and it shows you a movie can be good if it is not set in modern times or in the future. The film also has beautiful set locations and Tarantino did a fantastic job recreating a western location.

A warning to the squeamish, this film has harsh usage of the N word, although it is scary for the time period this film is set in, and has a ton of blood and is very gruesome. If you do not like the sight of that then you might want to sit this film out but do not let that stop you from seeing this film.

I am introducing a new thing called The Drinking Game where you take a drink every time something repetitive happens, although thats not bad for this film.. Take a drink Whenever some uses the N word(121 times).

The final verdict for Django Unchained is 4 Out Of 4 Stars with My Seal Of Approval. Awesome story and acting, great music, nice set locations and stylized glorified violence with great character development. See this film do whatever you can to see this movie. This movie may be 3 hours long but is entertaining every single second. Although do not take a 9 year old to see it. Thats what happened at my theater.

Rated R For Strong Graphic Violence Throughout, A Vicious Fight, Language And Some Nudity.

2hrs 45min/165min.

39 uses of the F-word.

121 uses of the N-word.

****/****

Here Comes Honey Boo Boo has accomplished something and that something is to make me absolutely disgusted that something like this can be put on TV on TLC which I find very funny because TLC Stands for The Learning Channel. What am I learning? I am learning that your IQ Can be dropped by watching 1 second of this show.

First off there is no story, I mean what would you expect from a show called Here Comes Honey Boo Boo? Second, the main cast is unbearable to watch and are disgusting. Third, This is a spin-off show of Toddlers And Tiaras and don't even get me started on that abomination.

The final verdict for Here Comes Honey Boo Boo is 0 stars out of 4 which also earns my seal of disapproval. No story, disgusting cast and awful concept Here Comes Honeyy Boo Boo is awful. It is Garbage.

Not Rated.

22min.

BOMB/****

Would you expect anything else With a film titled "Rock-A-Doodle"? I did. The film is animated by legendary animation legend Don Bluth who did films like The Secret Of Nimh and An American Tale. With a resume like that, where could he possibly go wrong with this? Well this film went everywhere wrong and more.

The film follows the story of a rooster named Chanticleer voiced by Glen Campbell whose crowing makes the sun come up. One day he forgets to crow but the sun still comes up. The other barn animals shun and banish Chanticleer from the farm considering him to be a fraud. We then cut to a boy named Edmond played by Toby Scott Ganger who as been reading the storybook of Chanticleer and is realizing that his farm will be foreclosed. Edmond then meets The Grand Duke Of Owls voiced by Christopher Plummer who transforms Edmond into a cat and Edmond goes on a journey to find Chanticleer.

Well the only good thing about this film is the voice work done by Campbell and Plummer who seem to be the only people involved with this film really invested. The other voice actors are abysmal and very dull. If it were not for those two this Picture would be dead on arrival.

The animation is dull and not very pleasing to look at. It looks like a child's finished coloring book, with colors all over the place and dull mix of colors.

This film also has a confusing and jumbled narrative with the film jumping from Edmond and his family to Chanticleer. This can be done well like in Pulp Fiction how it jumbles all over the place but eventually all of the stories come together. This film not only jumps around without warning but the story of Edmonds farm is never resolved yet it spends more time on Edmond then on Chanticleer. I guess they were waiting for Rock-A-Doodle 2: Rooster, What Rooster?

Lastly the film mixes Live action and Animation together...Poorly, and I am shocked because Who Framed Roger Rabbit came out 3 years before this in 1988 and that was great. This mixes it very poorly and, quite frankly, looks unfinished.

The Final Verdict for the 1991 film Rock-A-Doodle is 1 star out of 4. The film looks unfinished and rushed with poor mixing of live action and animation, dull animation and a confusing narrative. Glen Campbell and Christopher Plummer are the only reason to watch this.

Rated G.

1hr 17min/77min.

Cost: $18,000,000.

Box Office: $11,657,385.

IMDb Rating: 5.6/10.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 25% Rotten.

My Rating: */****

Her is a movie that falls into the category of movies that I like but everyone else hates. I can understand why some people would say that this movie is not that good but, honestly, I don't understand the utter and pure hatred for the film.

The film does start off with an... interesting opening sequence. By interesting I mean that the entire first minute of the movie is a bunch of sperm flying around. Yeah... so anyway, Chucky voiced by Brad Dourif and Tiffany voiced by Jennifer Tilly have a child named Glen voiced by Billy Boyd(Appropriate enough since The Hobbit comes out today). The child does a whole lot of things like wet himself and is hard to determine whether or not he is a...boy...or...girl. Basically he does anything but kill people. Chucky and Tiffany want to take over some souls to be human again. Chucky wants Redman played by Redman and Tiffany, oddly enough, wants Jennifer Tilly played by Jennifer Tilly. They have a problem, Glen/Glenda(Get it?) wants them to stop killing to which Chucky has some problems with.

The first and main problem I have is the character of Glen/Glenda. I like the look and voice of the doll, but they completely screwed this character up. A killer doll child would be better than a doll child that WETS HIMSELF 3 TO 4 TIMES IN THE MOVIE! Sorry for shouting, but man thats really absurd. Also he doesn't do a whole lot in the movie. He is just there.

The last 2 problems I have with the movie. The first, Redman, what are you doing here? You are not even in the movie for more than 6-7 minutes. You are, Dare I Say, useless in this film. The last is how while the movie is funny it goes a little too far into the comedy realm.

The first good thing is of course the voice acting of Brad Dourif, Jennifer Tilly and Billy Boyd. I also like the acting by Redman, who does an o.k job, John Waters and Jennifer Tilly who is HOT! I'm sorry but if you are a male, watch this, and don't find her hot you lose 1000 points in street credibility.

Also I do like how they go after two celebrities instead of two people off of the street. Plus even though it goes a little too much on the comedy it is still a funny movie, however I did not need to see Chucky...pleasuring himself.

The Final Verdict for Seed Of Chucky is 3 Stars Out Of 4. It has good voice acting, amazing effects, and good acting. This movie is not for everybody but I do recommend it. You will have fun with it if you leave your brain at the door.

Did I mention that Jennifer Tilly was hot? Rated R For Strong Horror Violence/Gore, Sexual Content And Language.

Theatrical: 1hr 27min/87min. Unrated: 1hr 28min/88min.

25 uses of the F-word.

Cost: $12,000,000.

Box Office: $24,829,644.

IMDb Rating: 4.9/10.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 33% Rotten.

My Rating: ***/****

Well my opinion has changed for this one because if you remember last time I gave this movie 3 1/2 out of 4, now it is up to the full 4. So just why is this one the one sequel that I like out of all the others? Well a lot of good reasons come into mind.

The film picks up about a month after Child's Play 3, where Chucky's remains are stolen by Tiffany played by Jennifer Tilly and she takes them back to her house and sews them together. When her wannabe goth killer boyfriend comes over, Chucky comes alive and kills the boyfriend in a very bloody death. It is revealed that Tiffany and Chucky were dating before Charles Lee Ray was put inside the doll. They at first are happy but Tiffany locks Chucky in a playpen because Tiffany was under the false impression that Chucky was going to propose to her. Chucky, Now raging mad, Kills Tiffany and puts her inside of a doll body. They take a couple played by Nick Stabile and Katherine Heigel hostage and plan to posses their souls.

The first good thing is the story. I really like how they don't really go after Andy here and instead go after new people. However They at least could have mentioned him more than they did, at least more than a newspaper article. Also I love the idea of giving Chucky a bride so he can have another doll to interact with.

The next is the Bride Of Chucky. Her character is really well done here and I like how Jennifer Tilly does voice Tiffany. The look of the Bride is pretty cool with the doll starting out as a wedding doll and then transformed in this goth/biker chick look. Plus Chucky gets lucky, twice. The first is, obviously when he gets married but the second is when he really gets "Lucky" if you know what I mean.

The next is the special effects which are better than the last two. Chucky is now all scarred up and this look is pretty frightening but to be completely honest I found his appearance in the first film more scary, But I do love the look they go with and this look does continue into Seed Of Chucky.

The last is the acting. Stabile and Heigel do a really good job and are believable as a couple, John Ritter, yes he is in the movie, does a good job as a dirty cop. But I want to talk about the dolls. The voice acting by Brad Dourif and Jennifer Tilly are great. Plus Jennifer Tilly is hot. Both in and outside of the doll.

The Final Verdict for Bride Of Chucky is 4 Out Of 4 Stars. Great acting, amazing special effects, also not to mention the movie is extremely funny. My favorite quote is from Chucky and it was used for the title of the review. Go out and watch this because it deserves to be seen.

Rated R For Strong Horror Violence And Gore, Language, Some Sexual Content And Brief Drug Use.

1hr 29min/89min.

15 uses of the F-word.

Cost: $25,000,000.

Box Office: $50,692,188.

IMDb Rating: 5.2/10.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 42% Rotten My Rating: ****/****

Released just 9 months after it's predecessor, Child's Play 3 opened to very abysmal reviews. Understandable because this is definitely the weakest one in the series, but it is one of those movies that I like but everyone else hates. Does this movie have flaws? Yes, but that doesn't mean that you still can't enjoy it.

The film starts as Chucky voiced by Brad Dourif is rebuilt again(which you think they would've learned after the first two movies) 8 years after the events of Child's Play 2. He is raging mad and wants to find where Andy is. It turns out Andy now played by Justin Whalin has been sent to a military camp to straighten him out after his killer doll story. One night Chucky comes across a young boy named Tyler played by Jeremy Sylvers and Chucky decides that instead of chasing after Andy again, he can transfer his soul into Tyler who is friends with Andy.

The problems with the film. The first being the doll effects which I consider to be the weakest of the franchise and thankfully they were vastly improved in 1998's Bride Of Chucky. The second being the acting which feels very stale with Whalin. He doesn't have the charm that Alex Vincent had in the first two movies. The third and final one being the tone of the film. This film is very dark compared to the first two. Now the second film went about 10% darker than the first but knew it's limits. Here they go full force especially the last 15 minutes which take place in a carnival. This film was the sort of start of making the films more of a horror comedy.

The good of the movie. The first being the voice acting of Brad Dourif which I have praised before and I am going to praise again. he is just that good however he is best in Child's Play and Bride Of Chucky. He is the perfect one for the role and should be nominated for an award for his voice work which I am surprised has not happened... yet.

The next are two things. The first is that the doll effects sometimes can manage to be creepy and scary when a scene calls for it. Next we have the army setting which I find very clever that Chucky is running around an army camp and I really do like that his main focus is not his main priority which is good at least for me because if Andy was portrayed by Alex Vincent again I would be saying the exact opposite.

Lastly we have the climax which is, like the last film is the best part of the film. The climax takes place inside of a carnival, specifically in a haunted house ride which actually takes apart of Chucky's skin and has a very bloody look on his face. Effective, yes. Realistic, no.

The Final Verdict for the film Child's Play 3 is 3 Stars Out Of 4. The film has good effects, great voice work and a cool climax but is held back by stale acting by Whalin, and too much of a dark tone. I suggest watching it because you can have some fun with it.

Rated R For Horror Violence And Language.

1hr 30min/90min.

17 uses of the F-word.

Cost: $13,000,000.

Box Office: $20,560,255.

IMDb Rating: 4.6/10.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 23% Rotten.

My Rating: ***/****

After the 1st film had hit it big with both the critics and the people, it was time to continue the story of the murderous doll. Don Mancini returns to write and cast members Alex Vincent and Brad Dourif return to reprise their roles from before.

The film starts out with Chucky voiced by Brad Dourif being rebuilt after his crispy end at the end of the first film. He tracks down Andy played by Alex Vincent and finds out that his mother(sadly not seen at all in the movie) was sent to a mental institute after defending her sons story about a killer doll. Andy goes to live with a foster family but after multiple mishaps involving the killer doll and the death of his foster dad(Guess Who?) Andy is sent back to foster care where Chucky takes him and his foster sister Kyle(Hey that's my name!) hostage and takes them to a toy factory for a climax that is now infamous in the horror community.

The problems I have with this film are 2 very minor things. The first is the story. It feels like it is trying to be a copy of the first film just in a different story(I'm looking at you The Hangover Part II). The second is the doll effects. The special effects for the doll still look good but they feel a little lacking in comparison.

Now onto the good stuff. First I like how Andy is now sent into foster care because it gives him new people to interact with. Now even though I complained about the mother not being in the film, I am glad that there are new people because if the mother was in here than this would be a blatant copy of the first film.

Next the acting. Alex Vincent still does a good job but feels a Little stale than the first one. Of course Brad Dourif is fantastic as the voice of Chucky. The foster family does an o.k. job, and thats about the main cast of the film.

Lastly the climax of the film which takes place in a toy factory. My favorite film critic that is not based online, Roger Ebert and his colleague the late Gene Siskel stated that they thought this was a poor film but praised the last 15 minutes. The last 15 minutes are the best because it takes place in a giant toy factory where Chucky could be anywhere.

The final verdict for Child's Play 2 is 3 1/2 stars out of 4, and it does earn my seal of approval which is earned by films that earn 3.5 or 4 stars. The films had good acting, a new setting which does work out and of course the 15 minute climax in the toy factory is the cherry on top of the sundae. Les this film does show Chucky come alive a lot quicker(17 minutes in) but it still is a good movie albeit flaws.

Rated R For Horror Violence/Gore, Including Terror And For Language.

1hr 24min/84min.

9 uses of the F-word.

Cost: $13,000,000.

Box Office: $35,763,605.

IMDb Rating: 5.3/10.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 43% Rotten.

My Rating: ***1/2/****

I am deciding to rewrite my reviews on the Chucky movies because my opinion has changed of them but only a little bit, and since that it is the holiday season I could review something revolving around the Holiday. Yes this movie does count because of a couple of scenes featuring snow. Anyway this film remains to be one of my favorite films of all time and I know it sounds weird but I can explain.

The films story follows little Andy Barclay played by Alex Vincent who is celebrating his 6th birthday with his mom Karen Barclay played by Catherine Hicks. However, Andy is disappointed because he did not get the gift he wanted; a Good Guy doll which is the new craze for Andy. Karen feels bad that she could not get the doll because it costs a whopping $100(which is the most expensive doll I have ever seen) and, during work, buys one off a bum in an alley for $35. Later that Night Andy is being babysat by his Aunt Maggie played by Dinah Mannoff who starts hearing strange noises after Andy goes to bed and soon enough Aunt Maggie is killed by falling out of a window. The police possibly target Andy but claims it his Chucky Doll. They think it mighty have something to do with serial killer Charles Lee Ray played by Brad Dourif who was killed by Detective Mike Norris played by Chris Sarandon. The mother realizes that the doll is alive and contains soul of Charles Lee Ray. Chucky voiced by Brad Dourif has to transfer his soul into the first person he revealed his secret to, or else he will be stuck in the doll body forever. The first person he revealed his secret to was Andy.

The first thing that I want to praise the story which is original and is very reminiscent of The "Talking Tina" episode of The Twilight Zone. Also the film wants to make you think "Is this all real or just inside little Andys head?" Although sequels came along and demolished this thought. Introducing black magic in a horror film was something not done in horror films back then and not very much today so it is interesting to see it here.

The next thing are the special effects which are some of the best, if not the best I have ever seen. The doll effects are creepy and when Charles Lee Ray gets transferred into the doll, as the film progresses the doll goes form a squeaky clean look to a dirty, gritty look and I thought that that was very clever. Also (Spoiler) but the effects at the end where Chucky Gets burned alive are great.

The next are the performances which are fantastic. Alex Vincent is convincing as the plucky yet frightened Andy, Catherine Hicks is great as the disbelieving mom and of course Chucky would not be what he is today without the terrific voice work of Brad Dourif who takes the little boy cute and safe voice of the good guy doll and turns it into a menacing and dark beast.

The final topic is the music and suspense factor. The theme that they use at the end of the film is a bunch of bells and angellic tones. This makes the music very spooky, but what is even creepier is the angellic choir. This makes it haunting and gives me chills every time I listen to it. They were going to use a Chucky theme song but cut it out due to it not being scary enough, and after listening to it I can see why. Thats like putting Eye Of The Tiger in the middle of Saving Private Ryan. The suspense of the film is phenomenal especially the fact that this movie is 87 minutes long and you don't see Chucky come alive until 45 minutes in to the movie. the sequels brought him n quicker but this one wants to toy (no pun intended) with its audience whether it is Chucky committimg these crimes or if it is all inside of little Andys head.

The Final Verdict for the 1988 film Child's Play is a 4 Out Of 4 Stars and earns my Seal Of Approval meaning I say go out and not only see but buy this movie. This movie not only has a great and original story but also fantastic special effects, terrific acting and awesome voice work by Brad Dourif, this is a must see.I also like the suspense how you do not see the doll come alive until 45 minutes into the film. This is one doll you do not want to mess with.

Rated R For Horror Violence Including Terror And Disturbing Images And For Language.

1hr 27min/87min.

3 uses of the F-word.

Cost: $9,000,000.

Box Office: $44,196,684.

IMDb Rating: 6.4/10.

Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 68% Fresh.

My Rating: ****/****

Since I just got done reviewing Sleepaway Camp, I figured it was appropriate to take a look at the sequels starting with the 1988 film Sleepaway Camp II Unhappy Campers, a film that manages to be even worse than its' predecessor. That is quite an accomplishment.

First Off, I don't Understand why we need a sequel to a film that ended conclusively. But the word money brings a couple of reasons why. The film does follow Angela again except this time she is played by Bruce Springsteen's Sister Pamela Springsteen, and she makes the character even worse. Remember when I complained that Angela barley spoke in the first film, well that's all changed because now SHE WON'T SHUT UP! This time she travels to a new camp to wreak havoc on more teens.

They explain that after some extensive therapy and a sex-change Angela is now okay to be a camp counselor at Camp Rolling Hills. And this brings me to my next problem: If you knew this character was mentally unstable to begin with, being that she killed kids at a camp years before, then why would you hire her as a camp counselor? I think that the camp directors were smoking a little something to let her back in.

They tried making the film a comedy now, but I did not laugh at a single joke in here. Also the film not only rips-off Friday The 13th but references The Texas Chainsaw Massacre and A Nightmare On Elm Street. Thanks, Three good movies ruined in your crappy movie.

Finally the movie wraps up with, Guess what, Angela being the killer. Oh My God That is the biggest twist ending since Darth Vader was Luke Skywalkers Father(Notice the sarcasm).

The Final Verdict For the film Sleepaway Camp II Unhappy Campers is a BOMB/ 0 stars out of 4, and earns my seal of disapproval meaning this is a film to stay away from. The film is held back by bad acting, Slow and Boring pace and terrible, Terrible jokes. The worst part is I have 3 more of these to watch. Goody.

Rated R For Horror Violence And Gore, Sexual Content, Nudity And Language.

1hr 20min/80min.

10 uses of the F-word.

BOMB/****

A lot of people in the horror community refer to Sleepaway Camp as a horror classic and should be viewed by people who love movies like Friday The 13th. Well I love Friday The 13th, but My God do I hate Sleepaway Camp. I don't Have a top 10 list like Transformers Dark Of The Moon but I do have at least 4 main problems that I can elaborate on.

The first problem I had is the main character of Angela Baker played by Fellissa Rose. Now when the movie started I thought her character was developed really well, But the only problem is that they barley have this character speak throughout the whole film. I understand that Her "Brother"(You will see why in a little bit) and her father were killed in a boating accident and she is shy. But if you're are going to camp to meet people You have to speak at least once or twice. She speaks about a total of 20-30 words in the film. She does spout classic lines like "I Don't Know" and "Thank You Very Much." The second problem is the overall general story. This film is a complete Friday the 13th rip-off, But every time I say that to somebody who likes the film they say they are completely different. Well lets see, They both have kids go to a camp out in the middle of the woods, and a killer who is not revealed until the end. SAME! They are the same movies! Only Friday The 13th was much more better.

The third problem I had is The sexualization of underage children. What I mean by that is this movie piles on sex appeal for kids who are 13 or 14 years old in this movie. If that was not creepy enough you have the character of the pedophile chef who I won't go into detail with because if I do talk about him it's going to make me puke and you and I don't want that.

MAJOR SPOILERS BELOW! Please do not continue if you have not seen the film, although I don't know why you would want to.

The fourth and final problem is the ending. Angela Goes into the woods to have some "business" with a boy. Two older campers come across her and as she turns around you see that she is not only the killer or a girl, she is a BOY! They show you everything, Refer to problem 3 for more of that. Also she is the killer. This is the classic twist ending that everyone remembers but in all honesty, why? Sure she is disturbed after her father and Sister(Now you get it) Angela died in the boating accident Peter the brother of Angela was turned into a girl by his aunt who went mentally insane after the accident. But for me this is not an affective ending because I can't have emotion for a character who doesn't speak or do anything in the movie.

The final verdict for the film Sleepaway Camp is a BOMB or 0 stars out of 4. It also earns my seal of disapproval meaning I urge you not to see this film. This film is held back by The main character, completely unoriginal story, Sexualization of children and that Godforsaken ending. This film has no redeeming factors. But the good news is that it has four sequels that I have to sit through and the next 2 have Bruce Springsteen's Sister Pamela Springsteen as Angela. Goody.

Rated R For Horror Violence And Gore, Sexual Content And Language.

1hr 28min/88min.

23 uses of the F-word.

BOMB/****

I really like the first Transformers movie. It was fun and entertaining. Revenge Of The Fallen was a terrible movie riddled with problems. So when I saw that this film grossed $1,123,746,996 when it was in theaters, Than it has to be good right? WRONG! This is one of the most frustrating movies I have ever sat through. This film has more problems than Revege Of The Fallen. Here are the Top 10 Reasons why I hated Transformers Dark Of The Moon.

#10: A Horrible Experience At An Unbearable Length. Not only is this film terrible but why do I have to sit through it for 2hrs and 35min?!!? Its bad enough just having to sit through the second one with Skids and Mudflap.

#9: Story, What Story? The films story is so confusing, especially If you have not seen the first two. This movie jumps around so much that by the time it was over I felt like I had just gotten off of a trampoline with 20 other people. The plot that I understood is that the Decepticons are going after a Cybertronian space craft.

#8: My Parents Are Not This Bad. The parents in this film are annoying and useless. All they seem to do in every movie is bring up something Sexual and uncomfortable. They bing absolutely nothing to the movie and are just pointless filler. Speaking of which.

#7: What Are We Going To Put In It? Half of this movie is just pointless filler. Whether it's Shia LaBeouf whining and crying about not having a job, Him trying to get a job or pointless humor it is not needed. Even the last hour of the film with the Chicago fight is so tedious to watch.

#6: We Won't Use Them For Anything Important. Some of the cast in this film is wasted. People Like Peter Cullen, Leonard Nimoy, John Turturro, John Malkovich, Alan Tudyk, Francis McDormand and Tyrese Gibson are all in this movie and are wasted because they serve no purpose. The only two who serve a purpose are Peter Culllen who voices Optimus Prime and Leonard Nimoy who voices Starscream.

#5: We'll Call Him Deep Wang, Because It's Funny Right? There is a character in this film named Deep Wang played by Ken Jeoung. All he does in this movie for the 7 minutes of screen time he has is talk ghetto. An that's Funny right. Wrong because he serves no purpose to the story whatsoever. You can also check out Ken Jeoung in the soon to be destined classic, Big Mommas Like Father Like Son.

#4. What Is Misogyny? This film thinks that Women are just in these movies to be Sex symbol's. I hate to be a broken record but Rosi Hunnigton-Whiteley Serves no purpose. They just show her in her underwear and is completely forgettable. Showing her in her underwear is not needed in a Transformers movie. (Although it was nice) It still was not needed. Also the female characters serve no purpose they are just there to show themselves off and thats It. Oh by the way for those who do not know what Mysogyny is, it means a hateful or stereotypical view of women.

#3: Ehren Kruger Writes Better Than You (NOT). Literally 90% of these robots I could not recognize because they don't say who they are. Idid not know until this movie is over and that is an example of how well the writer, Ehren Kruger who wrote a good movie Arlington Road, Introduces these characters for people like me who do not have an encyclopedic knowledge of Transformers.

#2: You Know, For Kids! This movie is so Vulgar, Rauncy and Violent that I cannot believe that some parents took little 6 year old Timmy to see this movie. This movie is riddled with Sexual Content and Innuendo plus Too much senseless murdering by the robots in this film.

#1: Shia LaBeouf. I Really hate this actor. All he does in this movie is whine and cry about how he does not have a job and how he saved the world twice when it was all the robots doing the saving and boo hoo this and boo hoo that. I hated him in Indiana Jones And The Kingdom Of The Crystal Skull, Wall Street Money Never Sleeps and Transformers 2 and 3, Because that is all he does. Quite frankly I hope I don't have to sit through another movie with him again. I wanted to shut this movie off because of Him. If you Like Him, fine but me personally I just can't stand him.

Well there you have it. The Top 10 Reasons why I hated Transformers Dark Of The Moon. Runner up is invoking images of 9/11 and The Challenger Explosion and the fact that I know What The Challenger Explosion is at age 14 is impressive. The only Character That I was invested in was Optimus Prime. Even though he is awesome That really should not happen.

Rated PG-13 For Intense Prolonged Sequences Of Sci-Fi Action Violence, Mayhem And Destuction, And For Language, Some Sexuality And Innuendo.

2hrs 35min/155min.

2 uses of the F-word.

1/2*/****