mamamiasweetpeaches

This always struck me as a very odd episode of FACTS OF LIFE. Even as a kid watching it I figured out it was a potential spin off idea.

Jo goes to visit her tomboy cousin Terry on her 14th birthday. Terry works in her fathers garage with her two older brothers. Everyone sees Terry as "one of the guys" ....including her brother's friend Tony who Terry secretly has a crush on.

Terry asks Jo to help give her a make over so she can look more feminine. They even call Blaire for advice. Well, I wish Blaire had given them better advice because Terry 's make over ends up with her looking like shes going to church in a frilly dress and white hosiery. Not exactly what teen girls were wearing in the 80s.

Tony ( who is at least 17 or 18 and some kind of make out king) makes the mistake of telling Terry she looks nice and the men in the family go ape acting like the guy did something wrong. They pretty much make the guy so uncomfortable he leaves!

Terry tells the family she wants to be treated more like a lady so Pops says she can take Home Ec so she can cook and clean. Brilliant. Thanks, Dad.

I remember that as terrible as this episode is that me and my friend would love when it would rerun cuz the guys in it were cute. Even THE FATHER was good looking! Terry is played by actress Megan Follows who would go on to be Anne in ANNE OF GREEN GABLES and Jane in the Horror movie SILVER BULLET. It's nice to see her in an early role.

FACTS OF LIFE was usually a very entertaining show .... but this episode was a mis-step in my opinion.

In this " Very Special Episode" of THE FACTS OF LIFE ( I'm being sarcastic) Tootie and Natalie go to visit Tootie's newlywed black Aunt Sylvia and her white husband Brian (Richard Dean Anderson before he was MAGUYVER!) Apparently when these two wed there was much uproar on both sides of the family. But hey, her Mom (its Wilona from GOOD TIMES!) seems to have come around .

Sylvia got a job offer in NYC and Brian understandably does not want to go . Will they or wont they move? That is the set up.

And now I will tell you Sylvia and Brian have ZERO personality and not a whole lot of chemistry. The script is not funny which is surprising because FACTS OF LIFE usually was a funny show.

In season one of the show - in my opinion the worst season of the show- there were other girls in the school. Molly, Sue Ann, Nancy, Cindy ..... I cant help but wonder why they didnt give one of them a Spin Off show instead of this show about two people we've never seen or heard about before. Tis A Pity .

Skip this episode.

The two part episode THE BARDWELL CAPER is one of the best LAVERNE & SHIRLEY episodes. This episode is from Season 6 when the girls were living in California. I agree with most people that the seasons of the show where Laverne and Shirley lived in Milwaukee were better than the California episodes. Thats all the more reason why this episode stands out. It really does remind you of the earlier days where Laverne and Shirley found themselves in zany situations doing a lot of physical Laverne and Ethel type physical comedy.

Laverne and Shirley have been working at BARDWELLS Department Store for three months. They have not received the usual pay raise most employees get at the three month mark. Shirley writes the boss a polite letter asking about a possible raise. Laverne intercepts the letter and writes nasty crude insults at the boss in it. The letter is sent. And don't you know , moments later the boss calls them to his office to announce not only is he giving them a raise, hes giving them a HIGHER raise than he usually gives

The girls panic over the letter which is now sitting on the bosses desk waiting to be opened. Laverne decides that she, Shirley and Carmine will sneak into the store MISSION IMPOSSIBLE style and get the letter back.

A neat twist is because this is a two part episode we get to see two different versions of the caper. In the Part 1 "and this is how we'll do it" version, we see how the plan would go in Lavernes mind. Everything going perfectly. In the second part we get to see how the actual heist GOES. And of course it does not go well, which leads to many laughs.

The one thing I want to point out that kept this from being a "perfect" episode for me is that even though Laverne, Shirley and Carmine are in top form in this episode they have asked Lenny and Squiggy (who are dressed as trees) to be Look Outs for them. And every so often they break from the action going on in the store to show us Lenny and Squiggy outside having VERY un-funny banter back and forth. Lenny and Squiggy usually WERE funny, which makes the fact they Aren't funny here all the more obvious.

This stands out as a high point for Laverne and Shirley fans, and not long after this the show started having problems with cast members storming off set and such. So its nice to see one last great ep before the show dwindles downhill. It reminds us of the great chemistry Marshall and Williams had, Its a shame they couldn't work together peacefully the whole run of the show.

In my opinion Its All Over Now, Baby Bird is the best ODD COUPLE episode. Its very funny and everyone is in top form. Felix is upset his pet bird is dead. Oscar cant fake sadness , as he hated the bird and believes the bird hates him (because it bit him the day he met it). The problem arises of what to do with the birds 'remains'. Oscar wants to throw it in the garbage. Felix wants to give it a proper burial.They end up at a pet funeral home where the pet funeral director trys to nickel and dime them extra costs. Oscar just wants to bury the bird as cheaply as possible. The bird has a funeral service Oscar, Felix, their girlfriends The Pigeon Sisters and the birds vet attend and even THAT ends up having a funny turn of events. THE ODD COUPLE program was an American Classic with great writing and great performances from its actors and actresses. In my opinion they just don't make shows like this anymore. Most of the episodes were funny and some were stand out hilarious. In my opinion this episode is one of the hilarious ones. This isn't just one of my favorite ODD COUPLE episodes, it is also one of my favorite TV episodes of all time.

I will watch just about any horror movie from the 70s or 80s. They don't make em like they used to. In my humble opinion the 80s was the best time period for horror movies because even the BAD ones were pretty "watchable" and on some level "enjoyable". If you like so-bad-its-good movies and black comedies then I can recommend SPLATTER UNIVERSITY.I watched it last night (dead sober) and laughed my ass off. As a Horror movie? Not so hot. As a COMEDY? Very fun! Plot: An escaped mental patient has taken up at a college and is offing the wanton women on campus. Okay, so its not an original horror concept. Not trying to reinvent the wheel here! If it ain't broken, don't fix it. The thing that separates this movie from its ilk is that pretty much ALL the characters but one or two are scum and you'll probably wanna see them die. In fact, you'll be sad most of the OVERLY obnoxious characters get to live! Some of the things that make this movie funny (for me , at least) are * Its so cheesy: including cheesy music, and cheesy fashion and wayyy cheesy Bad 80s Hair(check out the redheaded metal chick with the Bad 80s Perm that makes her look like she has three hairdos on one head) * Bawdy horny teens who drink beer with the six pack ring still attached to it dangling other full cans of beer . They also talk about wanting to bang other members of the opposite sex RIGHT IN FRONT OF THEIR BOYFRIENDS/GIRLFRIENDS! One guy howls like a wolf and thrusts his hips at just about every girl in the school -he even starts joking around with the GUYS when the girls aren't around! * The cartoon FLINTSTONES sound effect that cars make when they pull out in a hurry * The two chicks who walk around the campus (always in the same clothes) who are dead ringers for Cherie Currie and Joan Jett from THE RUNWAYS (REALLY. They deserve their own spin-off movie!) * Characters from a tight group of friends DYING and nobody, not even their friends or boyfriends, noticing! * The scene involving a dead body, a dumpster and a six pack of ginger ale.

* Red Herring Killers aplenty * Priests who are getting more action then all the students! * Someone dies on the crapper. After writing bathroom graffiti. WHILE TAKING A DUMP.

* A quirky landlady who tells you about the people who were murdered in your apartment five minutes after you move in. She also wonders WHY you wanna move when half the people at the university you work at have been iced.

* The reactions people make when they find dead bodies * A disco-licious dance party scene with close ups of girls jean-covered butts and sweater-covered tops (Sorry, Fellas, if you want T & A you better rent PIECES) * A GREAT Crotch Kicking scene (towards the end)* The last person you expect to die ...DIES! * A funny closing scene and a hilarious final line.

So what are you waiting for?! Get a case of beer and some rowdy friends and rent this puppy tonight! Guy 1: My girlfriend wont go to that Drive-In ( someone got murdered in last night) anymore.

Guy 2 : Are you gonna find another Drive-In? Guy 1: No. Another GIRLFRIEND. I like the movies they play!

Take a moment here to look at all the glowing ten star reviews for this show on this page. Now click on the reviewers to see their OTHER reviews. Notice anything? Yeah, I did too. All these people who love love love TRUE JACKSON VP haven't written any other reviews for any other TV shows or movies or ....anything. Hmmmm...I think I smell "plants"! I watched this show with my daughter because usually we enjoy those NICKELODEON and Disney CHANNEL shows. Lord knows I have sat through everything from SUITE LIFE, HANNAH MONTANA, LIFE WITH DEREK, UNFABULOUS, NED'S DECLASIFID SCHOOL SURVIVAL GUIDE, THATS SO RAVEN ...and I have sat through them with a smile on my face and a giggle in my throat. I actually find myself ENJOYING a lot of these shows. And then comes TRUE JACKSON.

I have seen KeKe Palmer in movies like AKEELAH AND THE BEE and JUMP IN and I recognize talent and I genuinely LIKE her (I even sort of like her singing!) but THIS? THIS is the best show they could come up with for her???? Do you remember the latter day episodes of THATS SO RAVEN where Raven worked for the difficult fashion designer and had a nemesis at work who hated her? Yeah....well TRUE JACKSON works in a similar place. With similar people. And has a best girl friend and best guy friend who show up for hijinks...sort of like "Chelsea" and "Eddie" from RAVEN. In fact, all that's missing is for True to have a chubby rascally little brother named "Corey!" The few times I have watched this show I have felt like I was watching THATS SO RAVEN...CONTINUED. All thats different is True has no psychic abilities. Maybe next time I throw my remote at the TV screen it will hit her in the head and she'll start having visions. We can only hope! Terribe writing, weak gags, unlikable characters, stupid story lines.....need I go on? Better luck next time, KeKe!

I am a 36 year old mom who watches a lot of cartoons and kid shows (My 9 year old thinks herself Lord And Master Of The Remote). Luckily I like cartoons anyway but nothing could have prepared me for the head-over-heels way I have fallen in love with CHOWDER! Since this is a new show there isn't much I can tell you: The characters are all really weird looking (What IS Chowder anyway? A cat??? A bunny?????) and one character Schnitzel only speaks using one word: "Radda" (I don't know why this joke never worked for me with CoCo on FOSTER'S HOME FOR IMAGINARY FRIENDS but every time Schintzel says "Radda Radda Radda!" I just fall out of my chair laughing.(For me Schnitzel is the break-through "star" of the show) Most of the story lines so far revolve around food, as Chowder is sort of an apprentice chef. And the jokes are all over the map from goofy to fart jokes to stuff I think is aimed more at the grown up audience. It feels like someone put some stuff from those old BULLWINKLE cartoons, a splash of SPONGEBOB and a tiny bit of FUTURAMA into a blender. This show has that certain type of humor that works for both kids AND grownups.

The other day my daughter was at a friend's house and I was watching CHOWDER and my husband came in and asked me why I was watching cartoons. I made him watch it and I felt totally embarrassed as I proceeded to laugh so hard that I actually cried! He didn't feel as strongly as I did about it, but he DID agree it was a "pretty good show".

I'm glad to come on here and see that I am not the only person older than 12 who enjoys this hilarious, bright,witty new show!

On A Scale Of 1 - 10 I give CHOWDER 9 Raddas!

I really have to ask myself what I expected from a movie that has Ron Pallilio from Welcome Back Kotter as the male lead sex symbol. Not much, I guess and that's exactly what I got! Not much! When I popped the DVD of Hellgate on I realized less than five minutes into it that I had seen this movie over ten years ago. You don't forget acting this bad! So the movie starts with three friends waiting for their fourth friend Matt (Horseshack!) to show up at their vacation spot. They while away the time telling ghost stories. One girl deadpans the tale of The Legend Of Hellgate, which is apparently the next town over. In a flashback we see an attempted rape gone bad that happened in Hellgate in the '50s. A bunch of no-good-nick bikers are at the malt shop and they decide to grab the big cheese mayor of Hellgate's daughter Josie and drive away with her. None of the town folk try to stop them. They drive Josie to a secluded area and rip her skirt off and Josie runs around in black underwear, bobby socks and sneakers looking like she should be doing an 80s aerobics video. (I swear they hired Abigail Wolcott to play "Josie" because she had nice legs...She even "strikes poses" while being carried away and raped! ) Well, her father - who is a dead ringer for Gomez Addams- comes to rescue her and in the process Josie gets iced.

Later on a guy in a mine finds a strange crystal that has the power to reanimate dead things. Here is where the cheesy special effects ("done by the people who did the effects in Hellraiser and Hellbound " the box trumpets!) debut as we see a very fake looking bat, a very fake looking fish and a very fake looking turtle spring back to murderous mutant life. (The turtle scene is actually pretty funny). Josie's papa goes to Josie's shrine (even her headstone has breast implants!) and reserrects Josie so she can lure people to the ghost town for him to kill. Why? I don't know why! Josie picks up Horseshack on the side of the road and seduces him. The seduction scene is a laugh riot! the music is insane! And I had never realized what a bad actor Horseshack is until I saw this: Even his sex scenes are unconvincing! And he's a pretty small guy. When he's lying in bed with Josie naked he's so small compared to her that he looks like a doll! Hahaha! Matt meets up with his friends and drags THEM to Hellgate . Why? I don't know. But they go. And of course they run afoul some zombie ghost town people who chase them around and try to kill them. Josie falls in love with Matt for reasons unknown and Matt's girlfriend is not amused.

Will Matt stay with the living dead girl or go home with his plain Jane girlfriend? Or will the zombies and John Astin's doppelganger kill him? Hellgate is a terrible film all the way around with bad acting, bad script, bad special effects, etc. but there was something FUNNY about it that kept me watching so if you like bad movies like I do you might actually find some entertainment in watching HELLGATE. I will watch it again one day just to watch Josie strike strange Vogue-like poses, a dead turtle bite someones face off and to see Horseshack in the raw again. Comic gold all three!

Speaking of bad movies, if you are lucky you will get the two disc set that not only has Hellgate but also has The Pit. The Pit is even funnier than Hellgate, a real laugh riot! So check that one out! Peace!

When I was a kid in the '70s (B.C.= Before Cable) they used to play THE LITTLE RASCALS on TV after school. Me and my friends (Really- everyone in my class practically!) watched it. We didn't care if it was a show made in the '30s (I'm referring to what I like to call "The Spanky Years", as there are in fact OUR GANG shorts even older- so old that they aren't even "talkies!" Just "silent movies" accompanied with music and subtitles!) We didn't care that it was black and white. We didn't care that our folks -or even grandparents- had watched it. We didn't care that it showed an old fashioned simpler time we couldn't relate to. All we knew was that it featured an appealing bunch of kids and that it was funny as Hell! I remember always carrying a special torch in my heart for the show all through my teen years and early adulthood. I honestly believed that the show had in some way "shaped me" and made me a better person.

Now that I'm a grown up in my thirties -and a parent- I wondered if I had built the show up in my mind as being something bigger and better than what it actually was. I told my daughter about the show and she would say "Oh really?" without even looking at me, playing with her video game, listening to a CD and watching TV all at the same time.

I decided to fish around to see if The Rascals were out on DVD yet and was pleased to find they were.

With great anticipation I put the DVD on and then warned my daughter that this was gonna be sort of "old time" and that if she didn't dig it I would totally understand.

To my (pleasant) surprise we both totally loved it! Now she BEGS me to play the DVDs! There is some ageless,timeless quality to the show. "Kids Is Kids" is the way I imagine The Rascals would put it. There is something so totally appealing about seeing the world through the eyes of the child. Hal Roach knew it. I know it. Now my daughter knows it.

A weird thing about watching THE LITTLE RASCALS now is that there are characters we all know that have been tattooed on our brains: Spanky, Alfalfa, Buckwheat, Porky, Darla, Stymie. Then there are lesser known characters (I remember as a little girl having a huge crush on Scotty! Now my daughter does!) like Scotty, Wheezer, Dorothy, Dickie, Wally, Uh-Huh ....within moments of seeing their faces again I remembered them again! It was like running into old friends I hadn't seen in years! There is no reason why this show shouldn't be playing on cable regularly. It is such a happy, funny, uplifting show. I recommend that anyone who remembers enjoying it as a kid get some of the DVDs for their children. You might be surprised to find out they love it just as much as you did/do.

Remarkable!

I came on here to write a review for CORNEIL AND BERNIE. I am surprised to say that a lot of the reviewers have already stated the important facts about the show and beat me to it! The show is about a teenager who is a dog walker for a rich childless couple who treat their dog like their baby. For some reason the dog, Corneil, decides that instead of letting his owners know he can talk he is going to let the dog walker Bernie in on the secret. The dog is very intelligent and the dog walker is pretty dopey so a lot of times the dog comes up with a brilliant scheme and the dog walker, Bernie puts the plan into motion. My seven year old daughter looooves this show because she's a big dog lover. It seems every time it starts she dances and sings the song (Okay, I admit it: so do I!) and she laughs all through the show and then when it ends she almost always turns to me and says "I wish our dog could talk". The one complaint I have about CORNEIL AND BERNIE is they always play the same few episodes. My daughter and I are getting curious just how many episodes were made so far because we keep seeing the same five episodes all the time (Bernie with a broken leg at the dance, the cook who is robber, the pram episode, the twin dog episode and the alien episode).

This straight to video cheap flick is based on a true story. I don't doubt it. Doesn't mean it's particularly interesting (unless you are one of the main characters who actually lived though this experience). A young woman named Angela buys a great, big old country home really really cheap. Well, as we all know from watching Horror movies, when you buy a big house cheap it usually means it's haunted in some way, shape or form. In fact, the second the house is being handed over to Angela the wise guy kid who lived in the house up to now takes a moment to "introduce" Angela to one of the ghosts! Nice guy, huh? Angela gets in touch with a psychic and a paranormal expert and tells them that her house is haunted and invites them to come over and see the ghosts for themselves. They come to a party and sure enough there are ghosts walking around, sitting on the couch, hanging in the garage and trying to seduce people in the bathroom. A few friends sleep over the night of the party, see the ghosts and vow never to come back in the house again. (Check out the girl who deadpans "I'm so scared. I'm so scared." totally emotionless. If she was so scared why didn't she get up, turn the knob and leave?!) The ghosts don't really do anything menacing aside from show up (And there is no blurriness or aura about them. They look just like regular people). They steal celery from the kitchen, move chairs around a la POLTERGEIST and one bisexual female ghost seduces Angela, who, get this, doesn't seem to mind! This scene plays like the kind of soft-core porn you see on the SPICE channel. (Ummm...not that I'd KNOW! Hahaha). The actresses aren't your typical porn stars though. They should hit the beach and the gym more. When Angela'ss NOT making love to the dead she gets mad at them and stands alone in a room screaming "Why won't you leave?! This is MY house! Get out!" They don't leave. I couldn't help but think of all the times I've heard psychic Sylvia Brown on TV saying that if you have a ghost in your house you should calmly rationalize with the ghost and say "Look, you're dead. It's time to cross over to the other side. In other words, get out!" According to Sylvia Brown, as long as your not hostile and nasty about it, they'll leave! This movie looks like it cost about $50 to make. It has a really cheap feel, and bad acting. I could have made this movie with 5 friends and a camcorder.

First up, I want to start this review by saying that I am a mom who really enjoys Horror movies. I think that is why movies based on the works of Roald Dahl appeal to me: Instead of being overly cutsey they have a "dark side". I had seen MATILDA a few times with my nieces when they were little girls and it was one of our favorites, mainly because it has appeal for kids AND adults. Now that my daughter just turned 7 I decided it was time to show her MATILDA. My daughter is easily scared, so when The trunchbull showed up on screen she let out a little gasp and I thought "Ooops....she's gonna make me turn it off". But ya know what? Everything in Dahl movies is so over-the-top that you cant really be too scared. The life and adventures of Matilda are so surreal (A teacher throws a little girl over a fence after swinging her by her pigtails....that's actually scary and flat out funny at the same time!) that you cant help but find them goofy rather than appalling. Our hero is a brilliant little girl named Mathilda, born into a family that doesn't appreciate her. Her mom, Dad and older brother are couch potatos who live for watching wrestling and game shows while eating TV dinners in their living room. Matilda would much rather read a book. She taught herself to read and write as an infant and has been into taking home books from the library as of late. She also wants to go to school. Her father doesn't want her to go to school because he's a used car salesman and needs her to stay home and sign for packages: Packages that are stolen car parts. One day he meets the evil Trunchbull, the sadistic headmistress at the town grammar school, and he enrolls Matilda in school. The school is full of terrified kids who are tormented by Trunchbull. Luckily, their teacher is Miss Honey, an aptly named sweetheart of a woman. Miss Honey is the one beacon of light in Matilda's world. Her family is negligent and they belittle her. Trunchbull is ugly inside and out and freakin' scary. It's a good thing Matilda is such a resilient little girl. Things get better for her when she finds out that she has telekinetic powers (Making MATILDA sort of a kiddie version of CARRIE!) and starts using them to get even with her family and principal.

ARE WE THERE YET is quite possibly the worst movie I have seen in '05. But I pretty much knew this going in. I remember seeing the commercials and rolling my eyes and thinking "Man, that looks bad. And what, by the way, is ICE CUBE doing to himself? this has "Career Killer" written all over it." When it played in theaters I was lucky enough to not get roped into taking my little one to see it. But it was on cable this weekend and my luck ran out. We decided to watch this one "as a family". I will not lie to you. My daughter, age 7 laughed a few times. My husband laughed about 2 or 3 times. Me: Not even a smile. It was so bad I was beside myself in disbelief. The premise is this: This guy named Nick falls into love at first sight with a woman he sees crossing the street outside the store he owns. Sadly, the woman has two hellion children who have made a habit out of torturing any guy who trys to date their mom. Their parents are divorced and the kids believe if they can fight off potential suitors that one day their parents will get back together. Their mother knows that their father is a deadbeat dad who shows no interest in the kids and is never coming back but she hides the facts from them so they wont get hurt feelings. Nick and The Mom become friends and he wants to be more than "just friends" so he decides if he can make nice with the kids Mom will see what a great guy he is and agree to date him. Mom has a business trip and is going to leave the kids with their father but their father doesn't show up. Nick offers to take the kids and get them to where Mom will be staying on her business trip. Mom, only having known Nick for a mere day or two, agrees to let this man she just met take her two kids. (Is this woman Crazy????) Thge kids are ready to give Nick Hell...and they do. They are nasty and annoying. (The little girl is nasty and obnoxious to the max, the little boy is more like the little boy on Bernie Mac, just unfortunate enough to have asthma, have to pee a lot, and throw up at bad times, stuff like that). This movie should have a disclaimer that runs along the bottom of the screen: "Do Not Try This At Home", because it shows these kids doing things kids should never ever do. I could not believe they were so irresponsible to show a little girl jump behind the wheel of a car and start to drive! I couldn't believe the scene where the kids fake being kidnap victims! I also couldn't believe the kids had the poor taste to "fake" an asthma attack to pull a prank on someone. Nick's misadventures with the terrible twosome include missing a plane, them jumping on a train and him riding alongside it on a horse, them stealing his car and him riding on top of it dangling half in half out of the sun roof, and them totally ruining his car. They also run afoul some truckers and a crazy deer and a Chuck E Cheese-like holiday party complete with terrible karaoke scene. In the middle we find out the cold hard truth about Dad (Who can blame him?) and in the end we meet up with angry Mom, who has the balls to be upset at the way the man she barely knew handled her beloved offspring. (At this point you will ask yourself why Nick even still wants to date this obnoxious harridan!) Spare yourself the agony of ARE WE THERE YET and watch a good children's movie. You wouldn't wish these brats on your worst enemy!

My husband brought this movie home the other day and I assumed it was going to be an all four on the floor bloodbath with tons of violence and gore. The first 5 minutes of the movie he couldn't get the subtitles to come up in English and I have never been so confused in my life. (The car hits a guy in a bear suit Why????) It took awhile for me to realize that this movie had a comedic silly side. It took me awhile to get into the mix of violence, adventure and goof-ball humor...but only about ten or fifteen minutes and then I found myself laughing and enjoying myself. The story is about a virus called Sars 4 that is going around turning people into zombies. While this is going on a group of not-too-bright bad-asses are trying to kidnap a wealthy man's nubile, school girl daughter. There is a hero-type who is in love with her and trying to get her back. There's also his wise old teacher and a sexy female doctor running around. I know, it's hard for me to explain the plot, because there is so much crammed into the hour and half here that you really must see it for yourself. If you like goofy martial arts revenge flicks like Story Of Ricky and silly zombie spoofs like Shaun Of The Dead this movie is Must See. I can honestly say it's not like anything else I've ever seen!

This movie starts with an out-of-town honey hooking up with a hitch-hiker for a one night stand. Right before they make love she "shush"-es him and says "The less said the better". This is because she has a serious boyfriend back at home and just wants a rough and wild tumble in the sheets. Although The Drfter was a one night stand our heroine gives him the beloved stop-watch her Granpa gave her as a child. Okaaaaaay. The Drfter pursues her in ways most would find nutty. He tells her he HAS to see her and that when you make love to someone your bound for life! Call the cops, Julia! But wait...Julia's boyfriend is associated with cops...so we can't do that. After menacing phone calls and a friend winding up dead (You heard me) Julia finally has to come clean to the fuzz that the mysterious caller was not just a random dude: She slept with him. Around this time the flick goes Red Herring Crazy: We are SPOILER: led to believe the boyfriend is a nut, having Julia followed and gonna punish her for her night of unholy bliss. It ends up that SPOILER SPOILER SPOILER: it's neither the boyfriend OR The Drifter...but someone else. And who recues Julia from this madman? Why, The Drifter of course. This movie wants to have it's cake and eat it too but won't stand up to scrutiny: To accept The Drifter as a hero we would have to forget his crazy stalker-like obsession with Julia that came from a 15 minute tumble in a No Tell Motel. The guy is clearly crackers! Be Warned: SPOILER: The Villain in THE DRIFTER is one of those talky talky talky M.F's...think "Bond Villain". Instead of just icing someone he talks, talks, talks and talks some more.

Ay caramba!

What was probably meant to be a high suspense moment turns into the viewer looking at their watch, rolling their eyes, and just about giving up on the whole thing. I think I made myself a sandwich, came back in the room and didn't miss anything! Shoulda just made The Drifter The Killer. D'oh!

END OF SPOILERS

Wow. What an eye-opener MARCH OF THE PENGUINS was. I thought I knew everything there was to know about penguins: That they are cute and live where it's really cold. I didn't know half the story! The Emperor penguins live under the harshest conditions imaginable in the coldest place on Earth. Many years ago the weather wasn't like this but as it evolved and got terribly icy and cold and the other creatures either died or moved on the Emperor penguins chose to stay and learn how to adapt to the changes. If you think that means that the penguins are "fine" with the cold, think again. Try watching scenes where the penguins are huddled together in the teeming snow and wicked winds. They each take turns being the one in the "middle", the lucky guy who gets the most heat for a brief moment. Then it's someone else's turn and you have to stand on the outside of the circle using your body to shield the elements off your fellow penguins. That sucks! The penguins eat fish. The only way to get to the fish is to go where there are cracks or holes in the thinner ice, dive in and eat. It would make sense then to live where the ice is thin, right? Wrong. Because when it's time to lay eggs, guard them with your life, hatch them and then take care of a new chick the penguins have to find the area that has the hardest ice possible to stand on. And, yup, that just happens to be miles away from where the fish is! A lot of this "love story" focuses on how the penguins trek to their mating grounds, pick a mate, woo and mate, and then make an egg. The scenes of the penguins mating were trluy touching. A lot of nature shows show crazy, wild, beast sex. The penguins are a slow, romantic breed and watching them cuddle up together actually brought a tear to my eye! Penguin love: the most sensual love of all. Who knew?! Penguins keep their eggs warm by keeping them on their feet, hidden under their big bellies. The mothers and fathers actually take turns feeding, storing fat, and bringing food back for the baby. This whole ordeal actually takes months so the father holds the egg while the mother feeds and then a few months later the mother holds it when the father feeds. They have to carefully pass the egg back and forth without dropping it, using their feet. If the egg touches the icy ground the egg and baby are "ruined" and the whole March has been done in vain. Once the chicks hatch (and, yes, they are really , really cute!) the game of passing them back and forth on your feet continues. It is not easy to keep a new chick alive, which sadly, the movie does show. I could go on and on telling you all about penguins and all about the movie but I won't: The best advice I can give you is to go see the movie yourself. And bring lots of Kleenex! I burst into tears about four times during this movie. It's one of those films where just when you think the heroes have overcome their biggest hardship, WHAM, something else gets thrown their way. You will truly wonder why they've accepted this difficult life style and how they have the pluck and bravery to go on. What's more important, you will find YOUR life of riding the subway, going to work, raising kids and arguing with your mate a breeze after "waddling" in the steps of a penguin. I saw this with my 60 year old mother and my 6 year old child: We all loved it. The movie theater had small children in it and I was sure a few "bored" ones would raise a ruckus. They didn't. Everyone in the audience, young and old, was captivated by the charms of the adorable penguins. P.S: Is it just me or do the penguins have the most beautiful, emotion-filled eyes? Look at the way they look at their mates and their babys. (Grabs the Kleenex again!) ********* out of **********.

My husband brought home this DVD yesterday: THE FELIX THE CAT MOVIE. He bought it for a buck. We,as a family, watched it. I have never felt more like I was tripping on acid without actually tripping on acid as I did watching this movie! (Forget PINK FLOYD THE WALL....I can handle That! FELIX...No, just too weird for words!) One of the first things I noticed, aside from the all around poor quality, was it seems like this movie was dubbed to Engish. Makes me wonder what language it was originally made in. The second thing I noticed was that a lot of the characters in this Don't SEEM TO GO TOGETHER! It feels like they took stock footage from three or four different cartoon shows and melded them all together to make a movie! The princess from another planet looks like a wanna-be Disney princess ala Cinderella. Felix looks like....well, Felix.....an old school cartoon a la Betty Boop. Then we have the "Let's Be Modern" bad guy who looks like a cartoon version of something you might see in a Power Rangers show. (Where is his head???? How does he see, talk, or breathe with that kettle on his head?????) There were a lot of characters in this and they jumbled them all together...without much success. This was a movie that was so heinous and horrible that I actually stuck it out until the end. I had to! I had to know where this was going! I had to see if the final conclusion would sum the whole story up and make it somehow make sense. It did not. And then I was just glad it was over. My six year old popped it out of the player and put it with her collection...so I guess I'll be seeing it again some day. (Damn!) I went on Knower Of All Knowledge www.IMDb.com today to see if they had this movie in their records. They do! And, boy oh boy, was I shocked to find out this flick debuted in the '90s! It looks so much older than that! I thought for sure it was at least as old as the '70s! (A musical number played by a band of cats in the film had me thinking maybe...maybe early '80s). Nope. Some poor saps had to actually sit in a movie theater with their kid(s) and watch this garbage from beginning to end...and pay to do it! I weep for them!

I saw this recently because I have the AFTERSCHOOL SPECIAL box set. It is about a man who is a second rate Country Western singer. His wife died recently. He has three children, all named after Country singers (Loretta, Johnny and Roy). The girl, "Retta" is now a Mom figure for the boys. Sure enough they're all "Why don't you just mind your own business and leave us alone?" not realizing that watching them IS her business. Of course cooking, cleaning and chasing two boys around is no picnic, especially for a twelve year old girl who has a lot on her plate and no time for friends and a childhood of her own. The casting here is great. Remember the older obnoxious brother on THE WONDER YEARS (Jason Hervey)? He's a sweet little boy chomping down on peanut butter and banana sandwiches in this! And the older brother is Jason Lively from European VACATION and NIGHT OF THE CREEPS! He's the older brother who tip toes about trying to have his own adventures. This movie has two titles. One is DADDY I'M THEIR MOMMA NOW and the other is THE NIGHT SWIMMERS, because the kids like to sneak into a neighbor's yard and swim in his pool at night and live the life of luxury. While they swim Dad is at the local Honky Tonk playing the only two songs he knows: both about being widowed! (About the third time he launches into his schtick about his "poor wife dying...Thank God I still got my kids" his whole band, including a put-upon spinster girlfriend, look like they're ready to just get up and quit! At the end (after an accident I won't give away here) Dad realizes that the kids need a little more attention and a little more time just being kids. Good but not great.

Okay, this subject matter has been tackled many times in After School Specials and Made For TV movies. This time it's pretty well done. The story is high school girl (NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET's Amanda Wyss) is always making up excuses for her "sick" mother. Mom is usually at home getting drunk, passed out already or nursing a hang over. Because of this the girl has to keep friends away from the house, keep mom away from school (Yes, even during Open House and School Plays), take care of a younger brother and try to keep the family's dirty little secret a secret. During rehearsals for the School Play the girl realizes that a close male friend is also the child of alcoholic parents. Through him she learns about Ala-Teen and attends a meeting. There she learns that alcoholism is a disease, that we must learn to separate our feelings for the person and the problem, and that we can't MAKE an alcoholic quit: We just have to let them make their mistakes and hope they eventually seek out help. This movie made me cry! Guess it hit a little too close to home. (I won't go into personal details). I had seen this special as a kid and now watching it on the new After School Special DVD set I enjoyed getting to see it many years later through the eyes of an adult. Unlike some movies where the parent is just a Horror Show this special gave fair treatment to the mother....who did have moments of remorse for the bad things she did when drunk.(A family feud that breaks out during a game of SCRABBLE that ends with everyone in tears was the scene that really got to me). The end scene has brother and sister walking past passed out Mom to go rollerskating together. This seems like an odd way to end....but when you think about it, it's a lot more realistic than the shows where everyone's problems are solved in thirty minutes or less. Check it out.

This is an After School Special that kills two birds with one stone. It teaches us about the evils of hitchhiking as well as the evils of rape.

A girl, Andrea, and her boyfriend miss a bus and decide to hitchhike. They end up getting in a car with a "nice, married man" who tells them to have their fun while their young. Hahaha. He lets the boy off first and when the girl goes to get out of the car he insists on driving her right to her door regardless of the fact she only lives a few blocks away.

As the driver passes the street Andrea lives on his demeanor changes form nice guy to stern , scary, icy cold as he says something along the lines of "Just stay put. We're going for a little ride" (I wonder why, in these movies, the girl doesn't throw open the passenger door and duck and tumble out on to the road. Thats what I would do. But I guess they're too shocked or scared at the moment.)

Andrea comes home, races upstairs past her family acting like everything is fine and she takes a shower and then sits by herself miserable not knowing what to do.

When a friend comes to visit Andrea tells her what happened and from there Andrea tells her family and the cops.

Two characters in this movie deserve special mention. The Younger Brother: Because he's played by a very young and cute Kirk Cameron of GROWING PAINS fame and The Mother: because you will just wanna beat this woman down. She doesn't believe Andrea should go to the cops, get free counseling, ever speak of the rape again or wear that hot looking Danskin top on the bus. She isn't the sort to let you work through your problems...lets just sweep them under a rug. (Somewhere in that house is a hidden bottle of booze with Mom's name on it, I'm sure).

In the end the man is identified by Andrea in a police line-up and it ends up he has done this to someone else who has enough evidence to get his sorry butt thrown in jail. At this point Andrea realizes she must do her part to make sure this guy can never do this to another girl again.(Or at least stop him from doing it for the next 10-20 years).

Not bad...but not a whole lot of fun. How could it be with the subject matter of rape? Like all good After School specials and Made For TV movies we're are treated to the inevitable closing shot of an unknown girl standing on the edge of a road with her thumb held out looking to hitch a ride not knowing what terrible things can happen.

Just take the friggin bus!

I love After School Specials. Now that they are on DVD I get to re-live the ones I loved and get to see the one's I missed. One of the ones I missed the first time around was ACE HITS THE BIG TIME, which is based on a popular and celebrated young adult book from the '80s.

This movie stars the oldest son from MR BELVEDERE, Rob Stone (and, no, I am here to tell you once and for all Rob is NOT Marilyn Manson!) as a kid starting out in a his new urban high school that is rumored to be run by thugs and gangs.

On Day One he meets a cute girl in class named Raven and agrees to have lunch with her (Even though he's already thrown away the apple and bagel Mommy packed for him in a plastic bag). She goes to introduce him to her friends and, lo and behold, her friends are gang members from the gang The Purple Falcons. Tough name, right? Nope! Because of pink eye (I think) Ace is wearing a patch over his eye. He's wearing a black and gold dragon themed jacket, jeans and sneakers so OF COURSE they assume he was a thug at his old school and ask him to join their gang because they're afraid if they don't make friends with him he'd be a tough enemy. We later find out these toughs aren't as "tough" as they'd like people to believe and don't really hot wire cars or steal old ladies purses.

Since Ace started school he's noticed a black limo following him around. It ends up there is a movie being shot nearby and they want real gang members as background characters. The lady behind making this movie gushes over Ace in such a way that I was beginning to suspect she wanted to sleep with him. He, along with his fellow FALCONS, go to work on the movie set every day after school for $25 a day. The movie is sort of a modern day WEST SIDE STORY and so we are forced (more than once) to watch teens dressed in cute gang glad rags dance like they are auditioning for SOLID GOLD.

A fellow gang finds out about the movie and gets miffed that THEY weren't asked to be in it. Now they wanna get even with the Falcons.

Of course, none of this is realistic from the get go. Getting dressed like a gang member ...the guy was just asking to get knifed on his first day of school. But the biggest disbelief of all was him getting asked...the first time he dresses like this...to be in a movie. The way the lady director gushes you'd think he was starring in the thing...with no previous experience. Then the woman says "You and your friends" without ever seeing his friends. Sight unseen they are welcome to star in this movie too! And wouldn't parents somewhere have had to sign consent forms???? Perhaps the sillyest dumb plot point of all is the finale where Ace and Company dance and sing and do an Early MTV style video singing about how far they've come.

Have we learned anything from watching this pap? And if so: WHAT???

Wow. This movie gave me a headache. I had seen the box for this movie in Mom & Pop video stores over the years and always wanted to rent it but never got around to it. It's now on DVD and I'm disappointed. Both by the quality of the DVD and also less than pleased with the movie itself. I think the whole premise of these gals living in a house that is part African jungle, complete with caged ape, with loud tribal music blasting and Carol Kane walking around in Afro-centric clothes complete with tribal make-up is just too surreal. Don't the neighbors MIND??? And how is the sane sister even sane having to live this way? this is explained away by the fact their father was an explorer in Africa who raised them like this. But he'd dead now. Yet they continue to live this way in "modern day" America. Well, anyway: the older sister (Lee Grant) works and watches over the younger crazy sister (Carol Kane) who plays with pet monkeys and illustrates them. When she gets mad she kills her pet monkey "MAFU!" and demands a new monkey. Like buying a new lipstick at the drug store within days a new pet monkey is provided her. Really? Can anyone order up a pet monkey and get one? Is it that easy. When not playing with (or killing) monkeys Carol also likes to play dress up, drink wine and dance around and spoon in bed with her sister. The rest of the time she's pitching a fit and screaming, screaming and screaming some more. "Mafu, Mafu, Mafu!" I swear if I ever have to hear the word "Mafu" again someones gonna get it. I respect them for trying to do something different.....but different doesn't always mean "Good". Avoid like the plague.

This is one of those After School Specials that will just drag you in by the casting credits alone. It stars a then-unknown Rob Lowe (with a variation on the pageboy haircut) who breaks out of the shower singing and lip synching one morning while his Mom is calling him to breakfast. His cheery mood gets struck when he hears from Mom reading the newspaper that a teen girl a few towns over just delivered a baby boy. The girl is unwed. It's a girl Rob shagged during the summer 9 months ago. It's Dana Plato!) Rob slips outta his part time job as a bagging boy at the grocery store to go visit Dana and the baby. The baby's cute. Dana Plato..not so much. She's angry, yelling, throwing stuff and really over-acting. She never wanted Rob to know about the baby and plans to give it up for adoption. Because Rob has stepped forward she now can't give the baby up without him (the baby's father) signing paperwork too. He asks the social worker if he can have the baby for a trial period. He runs the idea past his Mom, who flips out (and throws something!) but then agrees. They take in the baby and Rob finds out it's no picnic balancing a screaming newborn, school and a part-time job. The final straw comes when that damn baby makes him miss cute girl Nancy McKeon's party! So he gives the baby up for adoption in the end. As far as AfterSchool Specials go this one falls above average. I once saw a TV movie with the same subject matter that ran close to two hours. Good for them that AFTERSCHOOL SPECIALS made this story fit into 45 minutes. Lowe does a good job, McKeon, although not given much to do does an adequate job and Plato fumes, furrows her brow and over-acts. All in all a pretty good special. Available on DVD through AMAZON.

After School specials were Hit or Miss affairs. Usually when you watch an old one now (And you CAN, for now they are finally for sale at AMAZON. Yay!) you find yourself thinking "Hmmmm. That wasn't as good as I had remembered.") WHAT ARE BEST FRIENDS FOR is actually pretty darn good. There's a new girl in town named Amy and she's moving into an apartment with Mom who just recently split up with Dad. Amy has decided to give Dad the cold shoulder, hide away his picture in cold storage and refuse his phone calls and such. She meets Michelle Mudd (Dana Hill), a girl her age whose parents are also divorced. Because they both children of divorce ( a point that is driven home to be so out of the ordinary that these two girls are a rare breed shunned by the rest of the kids. This was the '80s. People weren't as divorce happy as we are now) Michelle tells Amy they have to be friends. But not just friends. Best friends bound by a voodoo pact,an exchange of jewelry and an oath of loyalty. So now whenever Michelle sees Amy talking to other kids she freaks out screaming "Loyalty" this and "Loyalty" that. Michelle gets weirder as the show goes on. She starts out meditating and chanting and lighting candles and such. Then one day Amy walks in unannounced and catches Michelle doing a weird voodoo ritual in her bathroom dressed in a voodoo priestess cape and kabuki style goth make-up (probably from those late 70's Do-It-Yourself KISS make-up sets). It seems that when Michelle doesn't like someone (Like Dad's new girlfriend!) she does voodoo to try to wish them away. This, I would imagine, would make it hard to break off a friendship with the girl since I'm sure if you upset her she would be putting the black magic towards getting even with you and making your life a living hell. As weird an After School Special as your likely to ever see: Watching Dana tiptoe down a corridor and sneak into Amy's apartment in goth gear with a mysterious bundle of newspaper in her hands freaked me out a little, and my daughter was glued to the TV set! Check it out.

Are we sure John Waters didn't make this flick? He could have. If he had $50 to spend on a budget and a weekend to film it in he sure could have.

The first time I saw THE BABY when I was in 8th grade. I watched it with my father in the room thinking it was going to be a legitimate Horror flick and squirmed with discomfort the whole time it was on.

When it was over we forgot all about how hard we laughed through it (which means the movie was, in fact, "entertaining") and said "That was terrible!"

When I got older I questioned the entertainment value of THE BABY. Was it a terrible serious attempt at Horror or was it really a divine Cult Classic of the future just waiting to be archived and then re-discovered and cherished many years later?

Well, it's many years later and I surprisingly found THE BABY is now on DVD. I disn't really NEED to re-view it cuz it still burns fresh in my mind over twenty years later...But I watched it again and had a ball doing it!

There is a weird family who is looking for someone to watch over their "baby". A pretty young thing shows up to sit and discovers in uneasy dismay that "The Baby" is really a twenty-one year old guy in a diaper who is so mentally held back that he really does think he's a baby. He coos and drools, wears giant Pampers and sleeps in a crib. It's sort of implied that he COULD grow mentally but the family has decided to keep him this way for warped reasons.

When baby is bad his evil sisters chase him around with a cattle prod and shock the s*** outta him. They do other weird stuff with the little fella too!

One day when Baby is cuddling up with his new baby sitter he starts to nurse on her teet (Don't ask how...It happened!) and she starts to get aroused and let it go on and murmur "Oh, Baby. Oh, Baby" and Baby's twisted family is near by, catch wind of the situation and start beating the Hell out of HER. The Baby Family sure likes to fight and torment people!

Soon a female social worker comes to the house to check up on Baby. She's a working gal since her husband got in a terrible accident a few years back. (Hmmmmmmmmmmm?) And she is fascinated with Baby. Like Jane Goodall with the chimps this woman is gonna show Baby how to get at least to a Pre-K mentality. But the family isn't pleased and is out to get rid of the social worker. She's out to get them too because (surprise surprise!) she wants Baby to be part of her family now!

Is THE BABY a good Horror movie? Of course not. But is it So-Bad-It's-Good Trash Art that you can watch with your friends and a case of Pabst Blue Ribbon? Ah, yes! Get ready to shake your head in disbelief and laugh your a** off!