adamchurvis

Unlike the "professional" critics who slammed this beautiful film worthy of preservation in the National Film Registry, I have a clear and level head and do NOT under ANY circumstances perform untoward acts with farm animals.

Grandma's Boy is the one film that can knock Citizen Kane off it's "Best Film Ever" status, not the least reason for which is Allen Covert's vastly superior decision to film it in color rather than yucky old-fashioned black and white.

If you are looking for a subtitled black and white film that makes "professional" critics positively tumescent over a sad Italian clown searching everywhere for the father who abandoned him as a child, only to find him in his own reflection of a Funhouse Mirror, at which moment he loses his clown attire and makeup and is now dressed just as his father was on the day he left his family, then Grandma's Boy is not for you, and you should seriously consider paying someone to punch you in the face.

BUT... if you are looking for an hour and a half of pure unadulterated joy so profound that it makes you finally understand Beethoven's "Ode to Joy," then Grandma's Boy is just what the doctor ordered.

Even after sixteen years of world tumult, Grandma's Boy stands unscathed on the winner's platform, holding high a Torch of Excellence to illuminate the shadows and bring about true understanding in this crazy world.

And to the great Allen Covert who should be given First Look / Final Cut / Unrestricted Budget at every major studio in Hollywood I say this: "Bravo, maestro."

Film Money listen up: next time someone pitches you a film, put aside the reputations of the talent attached and READ THE EFFING SCRIPT ALL THE WAY THROUGH, okay? Don't just say to yourself, "Well, it's got Polanski and Cleese and Ardant, so... yeah!" READ!

If it's nothing more than silos of self-contained stories with only The Man In Charge running frantically between them trying to keep Armageddon from happening, then it's all been overdone many times before and it's not worth putting your good money after bad.

Sadly, Daddy Warbucks didn't read the script for "The Palace"; he just forked over more than $18,000,000 based on the Polanski-Cleese-Ardant package and never looked back.

If he had, he would have seen an atrocity on film. A murder of reputations. A tragedy of a comedy. In short, an embarrassment.

I noticed on Rotten Tomatoes that critics gave this film a 6%, while viewers gave it a 65%. If ever there was a time to fear that these viewers are the same people wildly entertained by the fictional TV series "Ow, My Balls!" featured in the film "Idiocracy," now is that time.

If you don't heed my advice, the next thing you'll do is put untold millions into "Dude, Where's My Car 2: Lost At the Mall."

READ. THE. SCRIPT.

...it was just too predictable, and even though this is an R-rated film, the MPAA required some utterly RIDICULOUS censoring.

About that, Jennifer Lawrence appears completely nude and violent (fighting) in a part of the film, but later on when the kid asks "Did you go?" you can plainly see his mouth asking "Did you cum?" They foleyed-in the word "Go" in post-production! This, in an R-rated film that contains plenty of occurrences of the F-word?!

As for the content, who among you reading this review who have also seen the film didn't figure out the entire storyline from the trailer, yet hoped beyond hope that the writers would throw us a curveball and maybe do something just slightly different?

All that said, it's still an okay film. At least it's not some effing Marvel Universe POS.

Bradley Whitford makes everything better, of course. Ferraris go faster when he's behind the wheel, parties become livelier when he arrives, and he simply refuses to lose his good looks as he pretends to age. We all know this.

But his turn in this episode showed what SVU can achieve when the Muse is upon the Writing Room and the casting director works hard to hook top talent. And top talent he is.

The STORY in this episode was so poignant and relevant that it engaged me more than the stories of any previous episodes.

The ending was a real tear-jerker, both sweet and sad, and perhaps sprinkled with just a little hope for the future.

In all my years watching SVU (since 1999) I have never been moved as much as I have with this episode.

I have dealt with actual Feds for many years now, and not once have I ever seen an on-duty female federal officer sport twenty-eight pounds of breasts inside a military-weapons-grade push-up bra in a low-cut dress. Russ Meyer would be proud; J. Edgar Hoover would not.

And then there's THIS within the first minute:

Female student: "Oh my god, I've had a crush on you since my Freshman year."

Female agent: "Okay, Hanna, I'm flattered, but that's wildly inappropriate."

Female student: "Oh, no, not YOU, Miss Clarke; I'm talking about Vampire Cop. I just loved you so much on that show. Is there any chance they're going to reboot it?"

Male agent: "Well, not with me. My acting days are over..."

And then nothing further said about her crush or its degree of appropriateness.

So it's "wildly inappropriate" to say it to another woman, but perfectly okay to say it to a man? 1965 much? Let's just put a pin in that one for later consideration, if you like.

In the following scene, immediately after the opening credits, we begin to see the remaining trajectory of this series: cleavage, cleavage, cleavage delivered with a frustratingly stereotypical "hey HEY hey?!" and comedic hijinx more worthy of a series about inner-city homeboys on the old UPN.

Abandon all hope.

Learned of this watching Bill Maher, wanted to see Novak's take on man's need for vengeance. This is a very real human story told in what we think at first is going to be a lightly comedic way, but it gets serious quickly toward the end, and it's capped with an ending I can only describe as "Unexpectedly perfect." This film is WELL worth your time and money.

The pacing is just right, too. I am going to watch it again very soon with the rest of my family, if for no other reason than to discuss the premises brought out by this most excellent story.

If you're sick and tired of the fifteenth reboot of some frenetic superhero franchise and want a REAL FILM into which you may comfortably sink your teeth, this is most certain the film to watch,,, and remember.

This really was the very best episode, ever. Truly talented writing, and they finally gave Malloy a chance to shine at Center Stage. He really showed some serious passion in this episode; I was afraid they were going to relegate him to strictly comic quips and the occasional starring role, but this one was truly gripping.

The writing was great during the first two seasons, but it was nothing like this masterpiece. I imagine everyone sees the plot parallels with today's political events (Hillary's unexpected loss, deep fakes, the so-called "steal," etc), but the way they wove Teleya back into the storyline AND gave us a new mechanism that will serve the creative tension for the life of the series was nothing short of masterful.

Thank you, tireless writers, for all you have done in your lives to bring you to this accomplishment.

They did a good job on showing the obstacles standing in the way of an extra-galaxy migration to a new home planet, including the Russian study done decades ago. It looks like we're not going to make it all the way anywhere because enough people will go insane to hobble the mission, if not destroy the ship(s) entirely.

Frankly I am surprised that Herzog showed that fake Brazilian "Aliens of the Valley" and their "shake it while you fake it" followers.

Herzog actually narrated this:

"The Aliens of the Valley are stuck on Earth. In the course of millennia their bodies have adapted to our environment, so there is no way back to their home planet. Watching them draw energy from outer space, we were mystified by the experience which seemed at times as perplexing as gazing at a faraway galaxy."

And then there were the Hawaiian male dancers doing their little tushy dance as an homage to the virgin land we supposedly spoiled when we built a massive telescope there to help us on our way to the future, because, hey, THAT is WAY more important than saving the Human Race, isn't it?

That last twenty minutes of BS could have been better used.

So I watched until 11 minutes in when the first fight scene happened. What unrealistic SCHLOCK!

One out-of-shape 110-pound woman against no fewer than SIXTEEN ATTACKS (I counted) -- some with firearms -- in under 75 seconds? Joseph Weisberg (creator of The Americans and a former CIA officer) is rolling over in his grave, and he's not even dead yet!

If you are solid muscle and trained to the nth desgree in fighting multiple people, the BEST you will ever walk away from by yourself is two opponents. Three? No. Four? HELL no. Sixteen? You get the picture.

This is the worst kind of schlock for the most ignorant and gullible kind of viewer.

I mean, when you mashup former Soviet spy with Deus Ex Machina, you have a real turd in a punch bowl.

I suggest you find refreshment elsewhere.

This was some awesome writing, I tell you. This episode was so engaging and kept you guessing all the way up until the final scene. Now THIS is the Murdoch we've been waiting for!

Three stars because both Jodie Foster and Matt Damon are in the cast, but that incredibly stupid stunt at 1:22:00 just flushed the whole thing down the toilet. And DON'T try to compare it to the somewhat similar scene in The Fifth Element because that was building from scratch, which requires one to suspend fewer scientific facts -- few enough to stay engaged.

I really hate to give this series a negative review, but it was earned. And this is such a massively important topic that it really does deserve a whole lot better writing. Why wasn't this more a drama with comedic moments highlighting hypocrisies and the ridiculous, like "Succession," rather than BEING ridiculous itself? I have had to stop watching six times so far when the cringeworthiness peaked, hoping to come back later to finish once the cloying sweetness of inexperienced writers sloughed off me.

Seriously, I would LOVE to watch a better treatment of this plot. If you saw the recent re-treatment of "Fresh Prince" as a drama, maybe not that serious, but along those lines.

Handles the uncomfortable really well without forgetting to make it appropriately funny. And ANYTHING with Sasheer Zamata is worth watching; she's like a "Secret Sauce" that improves the taste of anything you put it on.

I had thought that the recent "Mimico" episode was this series jumping the shark, but Everything Is Broken, Part 2 clearly redeems the series with one of the very best episodes in its history. Twists and turns galore, characters in real jeopardy, and mistaken identities have been woven into a solid story that keeps us all wondering with just enough revealed to make us smile in the process. Thanks, talented writers! And as for "Mimico," I forgive you.

This episode was nothing but a cringe from the first premise. I'm writing the beginning of this review with ten minutes remaining, but won't submit until the credits roll, just in case something spectacular happens. After fifteen minutes in I was like, "I wonder if anyone else thinks this episode sucks?" so I came here and found a 5.5 rating nestled among the typical high-sevens and low-eights. Okay, let's see what the last ten minutes have to offer. Please stand by...

NOPE! It's official: worst episode ever. They need to drown the Rupert character in a bathtub so he never, EVER reappears, and they need to fire the writer of this episode out of a circus cannon -- NO! -- make that a 16" Naval Gun. Yeah, better.

This one was just a massive fail of syrupy overacting of a stupid premise that force-fit beloved characters into uncomfortable roles. Bunnies shall descend on the show runner for this.

Do you expect me to believe that in the elaborate and involved process of writing and rewriting the script, shopping the script around, approving the script for production, packaging the production with stars and a director, obtaining funding, producing the film, and then all that post-production -- that in ALL of that and the dozens of people involved, NOT ONE SINGLE PERSON saw that the title was misspelled? For the love of a non-existent god, the name is "Caesar," NOT "Ceasar." Oh, well, at least it's now joining the ranks of other all-time greats, like "Graet Expectations," "Black Baeuty," and "Bicycle Theives."

For those not familiar, Call Me Kat is an American reboot of a very funny series Miranda helmed by and starring actress Miranda Hart. The central characters from Miranda have analogs in Call Me Kat: Miranda = Kat, Mother = Mother, etc, but the cast goes really wrong with the character Tara, which is the analog to Tilly from Miranda. Whereas Tilly was genuinely funny and likable with well-planned slight annoyances, Call Me Kat's Tara is selfish, mean, and just downright contemptible. I adore Mayim Bialik as both an intelligent and caring human being and as an actress who has brought me a lot of much needed laughter over the years. But if anything is going to make me avert my eyes from this series, it will be the Tara character. This series doesn't need the physical embodiment of pure evil.

Excellent casting, everyone on their game. Did my first book report on Sir Arthur Conan Doyle in military school, loved Sherlock Holmes ever since. This is my favorite treatment yet. I would watch this every week, or binge if released per season.

...it was made in 2015, right? So why in pluperfect effing hell do we STILL have "noisy screens," such that every time a character appears on a computer screen there is a sound that plays? I mean, it's not "Telefon" where each character was the sound effect of a 600-pound crash printer fed by a mainframe circa 1965, but it IS right up there with the opening scene of The Hunt For Red October. Really, we're still doing this? Every second grader on the planet doesn't already know that this never happens? See the movie.

I can see why Smash is being revived on Broadway, as it's an excellent series, but I don't understand why they resort to AutoTune. It sounds to very artificial. Katharine McPhee and Megan Hilty have their songs with sustained notes autotuned, and it sounds that way. Why? Isn't "excellent" enough?

...this one earned it. Remember Victor/Victoria, how it was about love in all its forms and the pains one sustains with each? This little film is right along the same lines. This is neither a lesbian love story nor an adaptation of Cyrano de Bergerac; it is much more, and beautifully complex. This is a very good investment of 104 minutes of your time. Alice Wu really knocked this one out of the park. I look forward to much more from Leah Lewis. May you soon crave Taco Sausage (watch the movie).

I must agree wholeheartedly with the two reviews "The Unclear and Bad Written Ending Destroyed It!" and "Unexpected Coming-of-Age Story," as it has the worst ending since the 2001 film "Rat Race."

What is it with writers these days? It's like they have a GREAT basis for a story, and then get writer's block right at the point when the Third Act is supposed to really have the audience on the edges of their seats, waiting for the Big Reveal. Sadly, there are no meaningful reveals, and lots of threads are left hanging and unanswered. And the final transformation of the girl in question seems rushed, unrealistic by any measure, and meaningless.

Who do I sue to get back the two hours of my life I wasted on this film? Sure, the first 75% was great, but the ending utterly ruined it. It's like getting some serious attention from a genuinely interesting woman for an hour and twenty-five minutes, and then she steps behind you, picks up a Louisville Slugger, and beats your brains out with it. Kinda ruins the whole experience, you feel me?

I think I will buy the DVD of this movie, if for no other reason than to watch the Bonus Content, which has Malin Akerman self-flagellating while screaming "I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT BILLIONS...! I SHOULD HAVE NEVER LEFT BILLIONS...!" over and over again until she passes out.

And I thought the episode "Fallout" jumped the shark! American Idol? Seriously?! At this point I am genuinely concerned about the well-being of the writing staff, because Great White Sharks are nothing to scoff at -- especially when they are jumping over one on a motorcycle, as the writing staff are wont to do. Also, the "venomous" snake is of the classification "CGI Amateurius"; okay, it's actually a non-venomous King Snake (remember: "Red next to black is a friend of Jack; red next to yellow will kill a fellow"), but the CGI was so bad I had to double-check that I wasn't watching "SnakeNado 3: Killing Spree" on cable. Make no mistake: I want this series to survive at least another season, but I want it to be better.

A young man sells wines in a wine shop. A young woman asks where the white wine is, and he says "one aisle over." Then he asks if she is looking for something specific, and she says "a good one?" Now, instead of asking what food, if any, she is pairing with the wine, he asks her if she likes Hip-Hop. Then he starts talking about the various varietals: "Chardonnay is like the granddaddy of wine. It's versatile, smooth, and kind of goes with anything, you know, it's like the Jay-Z of wine." But wait, there's more. "Pinot Grigio is a white wine but with a little bit of spice to it. It's like, 'Oh, you thought I was just a white wine? I'm about to get stupid.' It's like a Kanye West." And this supposed expert mispronounces it "GREE-zhee-o" rather than the proper "GREE-jo." I had to stop watching at that point, before he murdered a description of Reisling. And yes, this one-star review is legitimate, even though I saw less than two minutes after the opening credits, because it is a movie that heavily features wine and the pursuit of expertise and mastery of it, but it doesn't even handle the basics with anywhere approaching respect for the craft. There are any number of legitimate love stories surrounding the mastery of sommellerie and winemaking. Watch those instead.