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I don't even get this to be honest - it's ten minutes of hunh? What the? Jamie Dornan is in a grand total of about 70 seconds of the finished product and it is inexplicably awful. I imagine once Fifty Shades of Grey comes out there will be other embarrassing moments in Jamie's pre-Mr. Grey career that will crop up to remind him where he started. This is one of those. And unfortunately for the audience he is not in his underwear at any point.

You can see he does have some screen presence but it is completely wasted here in a short film that looks like someone used their smartphone to make it. No, it's not even that good. I find it unlikely that anyone got paid for this. It seems like it might have been some kind of inside joke.

When I started watching New Worlds it was mostly to see if Jamie Dornan could act his way through a costume epic (which I am happy to say he does admirably) but then I found myself actually getting into the story which is basically a sequel to the mini-series The Devil's Whore.

The action here takes place in the 1680's on two fronts, in England and in the New World, Massachusetts. It's a bit atypical from how the era is depicted which means that the writers did their homework.

It is by nature still a historical drama and at first seems a bit dry until the action gets ratcheted up in England with those outlaws who want to kill the current tyrant king and those feisty Americans in the New World who are feeling more certain that they don't need England holding their hand anymore.

If you can get through the first episode it's well worth it.

The female actors are unfortunately the weakest link in the story, especially the one playing Beth (Freya Mavor), who hooks up with a hot Native American chief. She's just got all the men falling all over her (originally she plays Jamie Dornan's character's love interest in England) and she's kind of, well, yes, she's just terrible.

I recommend fast-forwarding through all the parts with her staring blankly when she is supposed to be actually expressing some level of emotion (which she does not except to make her voice louder).

Otherwise the acting is pretty fair for all participants, though Jeremy Northam as the King is somewhat underused and does a bit of scenery chewing.

The male wigs are dreadful and fortunately Jamie Dornan doesn't have one but does sport an ill-suited mullet that is a little distracting. He has some nice moments here and there getting convincingly beat up, being a bit of a hellion but then ultimately is the only person (besides the poor homely girl Agnes who saves his character and loves him and meets a brutal end) who shows actual depth and emotion. Worth it to watch those baby blues tear up and spill over.

That's me being cheezy so I apologize; if you like historical adventure with good pacing and drama, you will definitely enjoy New Worlds.

I'm a Jamie Dornan fan - his work in BBC2's "The Fall" is superlative. I rarely would give such praise to a former underwear model (once called "the golden torso" in the New York Times when he modeled for Calvin Klein) and I don't care how lovely he is or that he is about to debut as "the epitome of male beauty" Christian Grey in "Fifty Shades of Grey". I take his performances individually (there are precious few) and this one in a relatively saccharine film about pigeon racing in Belgium of all things is uncomfortable and awkward at best.

I'm not sure when it was filmed but I can hardly believe that the Jamie Dornan here is the same actor playing serial killer Paul Spector in "The Fall" (with the brilliant Gillian Anderson).

*I discovered it was filmed in between Season One and Two of The Fall and by Jamie and the director's own admission came about through a lot of beer drinking, which may have been how Jamie got the job in the first place. I'm thinking such career decisions in the future should not be entrusted to a brewski.

He seems so out of his element he makes me nervous watching him; as if he wants to duck down behind large pieces of furniture and pretend he is anywhere but making this pigeon film in Belgium.

Maybe he needed a vacation and Belgium sounded nice? Maybe he had a break between any work whatsoever and this film and a paycheck was a good idea? Maybe when you're a former underwear model who is yet to be cast as Christian Grey, you've got to take everything that is offered to you?

In "Flying Home" (or "Racing Hearts", it has two different titles), Jamie phones in a lackluster performance with line-readings that are devoid of energy, commitment, direction and interest. It's like he cannot wait to get to the end of the scene and have a beer with the crew.

The script is weak, but the Belgian actors do a decent job with their lines. Jamie however is stuck in some netherworld with his clumsy-sounding, vocal fry American accent, looking pained in a suit in the New York scenes and then looking completely confused once his character is in Belgium.

His soulful blue eyes dart furtively for the most part like he's looking for an escape route. He underplays a drunk scene so badly that it's difficult to tell if he is drunk or just really sleepy. Scenes where he should be amused or amusing fall terribly flat and seem embarrassingly stilted.

He has one scene where he handles a pigeon which seems to be his only honest moment, you can sense a sweetness in him then, it is tender and the only time you get a glimpse of his potential as an actor that he shows in spades in "The Fall".

The rest of the time he is blah and bland and has less than zero chemistry with the actress playing his love interest Isabelle. I don't buy their love story for a millisecond. The disparity in their looks is a bit jarring since Jamie is preternaturally pretty and the Flemish girl has somewhat strong features. But there is nothing going on there, not a spark, not a connection, just lines tumbled out in rote boredom.

In Dornan's defense it's not a very good film, and pigeon racing isn't exactly fascinating. The addition of the World War I sub-plot and the famous war hero carrier pigeon seems like an after-thought.

Furthermore at one point Jamie's character Colin says to Isabelle's grandfather that he had an ancestor who SUPPOS-ABLY died in Flanders in World War I. I cannot believe that no one caught this - not Jamie (who speaks the King's English with an Irish brogue), not the director, editor - no one? This is a high powered young business executive from New York City who thinks the word is suppos-ably and not SUPPOSEDLY?

That pretty much sums up the entire experience. Sloppy, dull and even Jamie's beauty could not carry it. Handsome is as handsome does could not be more true.

This is utter crap. The acting is terrible, the sets dreadful, the story - there is no story just a bunch of historical names being thrown around with bad writing, bad plotting, terrible accents (one of the worst by the female lead who actually is British but is such a terrible actress her accent sounds fake!) and doggie style whore-hammering in the middle of all of it by the God-fearing, let's burn all the witches preacher. Hunh?????

For some reason there is a New Orleans style whorehouse in the middle of puritanical Salem. Perhaps this is some sort of time-traveling device because the women seem to be from the 18th century, not the 17th century (when the story supposedly takes place). The series creator and writer Brannon Braga (much fallen from Star Trek grace apparently) may have added this sci-fi twist since all the rest of it is pure fantasy.

The premise of the series is: what if the witches in Salem were REAL? What if all that hanging hysteria and murdering of women (and one man) was right the heck on and there were witches among them in good ol' Salem doing the Devil's bidding?

Except witches don't work for the Devil. Witches don't even believe in the Devil. There is no Devil anywhere under any circumstances in any Earth-based religion. Yet time and time again people take creative license with this and shove witches into the Satan-tango.

How do you think Christians would feel if they were depicted in all movies, books etc as praying to some ridiculous mythological beast - like - The Kraken. What if every time you saw a Christian you heard - oh but they are so into The Kraken - always saying Release the Kraken and praying to The Kraken and wanting to have a party on the dock and invoking The Kraken. It might get a wee bit annoying with all this "the Kraken" stuff when Christians don't even believe in The Kraken or know what the Sam Hill it is.

And so ignoring all the facts about witches, witchcraft, and the horrible actual history of Salem and how the "law" there murdered women this series adds yet another degrading chapter to how Christians perceive witches as evil and will not let it freaking go (especially as long as it will get ratings and you can toss in some T&A, doggie style sex and a big ugly toad suckling a teat on a hot woman's thigh).

The truth is Earth-based religion is not that exciting, not that sexy and not that bizarre. It would not make a very interesting horror series. It did not even make the Salem Witch Trials that compelling which is why those people had to lie. And then kill all those women.

This show has no respect for those murdered by the religious right in Salem. This show has no regard for real witches who practice Earth-based religion and are in no way agents of evil or consorting with the Devil. The Devil is a Christian concept and has no place in witchcraft.

It's bad enough to be insulted every Halloween, to have shows like American Horror Story: Coven and movies like The Craft to deal with but one of the darkest hours in the history of witchcraft in this country depicted in this manner? Beyond offensive. It is simply shameful.

Wow was this bad. It seems that Jon Snow has only one possible emotion a subtle emo-looking petulant scowl (just like in Game of Thrones)but his abs are in better shape here, though they do look like they could be plastic. Or CGI. Remember when everyone said the abs were CGI in 300? Sort of like that.

Anyway it's no spoiler or anything but the big volcano erupts. And everyone runs toward the sea carrying a small canvas bag of something. I mean, everyone. They must have passed them out at Pompeii Disaster Central - get your canvas bag now and run to the sea everyone before you lie down and hold hands in the ashes that will be here for 2000 years!

But then the harbor has issues, like the ocean recedes and turns into a big tidal wave! Oh no, head for the hills!

I read somewhere this was in 3D which makes sense (since I watched it in 2D) why all this stuff was being thrust and flaming rocks were falling from the sky and they were flying right into the cameras.

There is no plot, well OK, a feeble plot that seemed to take part of Gladiator and that Clive Owen version of King Arthur and that LA Volcano movie with Tommy Lee Jones and create a hella mashup with Jon Snow and Trinity in a bit part (I mean Trinity, from the Matrix - how long since she's been on-screen - in a word - whoa).

She gets about the lamest death scene ever because the coliseum in Pompeii falls on her. Keifer Sutherland meanwhile, who seems to be wearing an ill-fitting set of false teeth is mugging around trying to be evil which fails miserably. Not for anything but even with his mugging and terrible bit of acting he still seems like he could bitch-slap Jon Snow into next week.

Jon Snow is not much of a hero. He is a good fighter but it's a little hard to buy his baby face as the Harbinger Celt of Doom. His love interest (the girl who was in Lemony Snicket's A Series of Unfortunate Events who seemed to finally grow into her lips)has nothing to do but cling to his abs (Thank you Jon Snow for rescuing me with your CGI abs)and then gets kidnapped by Keifer and driven in a chariot to where? He thinks he's going to outrun the volcano and get to Rome in a chariot?

At one point there is mass destruction, the volcano is erupting and these two idiots are having a sword fight. What is the point of that? To die a couple of minutes sooner? I mean this is bad.

I don't think I even made it to the end, or possibly I did but I can't remember. I did like Jon Snows abs. I think he will be very hot when he finishes growing up. Meanwhile I prefer keeping up with him on Game of Thrones where Jon Snow can be the moody, scowling bastard he is.

I've seen the original perhaps a dozen times over the years and find it to be a fairly decent film for the time-period (1968). I rather well like it actually.It is true to the time, Mia Farrow is great, I love Ruth Gordon and how pushy the two oldies are and how smarmy John Cassavettes is. It totally works.

This re-make stumbles and falls. Face first.

Zoe Saldana plays Rosemary like she's still stuck in 1968. I don't know any women in this day and age who would behave like such sniveling, crying, Stepford wives. Half the time she has no clue what's going on around her, the other half she's sobbing and making a truly unattractive crying face and blubbering all about.

She has no life except to support her husband's ambitions (not an actor this time but writer). She has one friend who ends up getting brutally killed in a kitchen accident in the second episode of the two-parter. This is one of a number of deaths (but more personal because it is her best friend) that Rosemary endures surrounding her once she and her husband move into this creepy building owned by Roman and Margaux Castevet who semi-adopt Rosemary and her snarky chin-less husband (who always has a five day growth of beard) in a weirdo sex-cultish inappropriate kind of way.

This is different from the original film because the couple was considerably older, more like grandparents to the nubile Rosemary. In this version there are even lesbian undertones between Rosemary and Margaux and of course later we know what Roman has been up to as well. Though I might be confused by this since Roman is Steven Mercato and he is also supposed to be the Devil? In the original is was a beast who rapes Rosemary. In this version it is Steven Mercato/Roman Castevet.

Rosemary keeps finding out things that are horrible and terrifying (like all the people dying around her including her best friend whom she just sobs over a little and promptly completely and totally FORGETS) and is going to make her stand but never does because someone gets killed or dies unexpectedly and she has to go to a funeral. She gets preoccupied by her baby shower with all these weird older people (and none of her own friends and neither she nor her husband have any family either). Then when she finds out that they are "all satanic witches" (though this material nor the original makes no actual distinction between witches who have no devil and are not satanic and just dumps all witches into the believer and follower of Satan category - how very 1600's of them)her husband acts like she's lost her mind and she's having a break- down. She cries and sobs and whines and howls and keens through the entire thing.

There's a brief moment when Rosemary looks things up on the internet but it is glossed over. This Rosemary is no feminist, she is a pregnant mess, crying and weeping uncontrollably and unable to make a decision or take care of herself. And she is totally her husbands (and everyone's) bitch which in 1968 was offensive but in 2014 is ridiculous.

This re-make does not work in the 21st century. Satanists aren't witches and anyone with Google can find that out in a heartbeat. Witchcraft and spells have absolutely NOTHING to do with Satanism. Witchcraft is part of pagan earth-based religion. Satanism is a reversal of Christianity. I would have hoped in altering things from the source material for this version they might have gotten that right.

I can excuse the 1968 version for its ignorance but not this version. This makes it insulting to any pagan or witch to be lumped in with Satanists once again when no pagan belief system even has a Devil- figure.

Hollywood recycles another classic original film into a weak and pandering re-make that is tiresome and laughable.

Jason Issacs mugging with his evil-eye staring had me nearly laughing out loud at how sneeringly comical it was.

For the record New York City is much creepier than Paris. I even felt bad for Paris to have to co-star in such a crappy re-make. And all French people, though fortunately almost none are in the film. How interesting that you can go and live in Paris and everyone is British.

As a curiosity this would be amusing if it was about an hour and half shorter. As it stands you'll be rolling your eyes and checking the time as you snore toward the end.

I would give this show a 10 except for a couple of absurd plot devices that nearly ruined the entire thing for me. I say nearly ruined because I am a stalwart Kevin Spacey fan and I have enjoyed watching him in this about as much as anything he has ever done. Francis Underwood is the character Spacey was born to play and Robin Wright was biding her time in a crappy marriage to Sean Penn and being a somewhat crappy actress too until she could play his wife in this. They are perfection - far better than the pulpy and ludicrous story line.

I am so disappointed that the writing can be so smart then dip to such depths of head-smacking lunacy. Two murders? Oh come on. That was nuts enough but I went with it mostly because I was thrilled to see Kate Mara's annoying hoodie wearing valley girl twinklet of a character get thrown in front of a subway train (which incidentally was what I wanted to do to her since she started her affair with Frank Underwood in the first season).

But they lost me after Claire's sex scandal from her affair the first season with the British photographer. It was simply not possible that she could come out of that but the larger point being that there is NO WAY IN TEN FREAKING HELLS that following on the heals of this she (and Frank) would engage in a bisexual threesome with their secret service guy Meechum.

I don't mind if Frank likes his bread buttered on both sides. But I do mind that his wife takes part in it. Because there are simply some things you cannot un-see and that is your husband rogering or being rogered.

And I'm sorry but how dumb is Meechum? He actually thinks he will be allowed to live after Frank and Claire become POTUS and FLOTUS? WTF - Meechum you are not long for this world.

I could not buy this plot device or direction or circumstance. No way, no how. Not after the crafty way Frank and Claire have connived themselves right into the presidency. Poor story construction. I know this isn't realistic obviously since Frank has already murdered two people. But the bisexual threesome was too cheesy. They already had the hooker turn into a lesbian as it was. What is everyone now gay? Or was it just a push the envelope bit - let's show hot girls making out and see their boobies and let's watch Kevin Spacey make out with a guy. Yeah we can do that instead or good writing.

Also I thought Franks's letter to President Walker was too little too late. Walker had already figured out EVERYTHING about Frank (except the two murders) but he had it all and I don't think some insincere letter from Frank would be enough for Walker to change his mind and unlearn everything that he already knew and have him hand off the presidency.

Spacey & Wright deserve better than this. They deserve for the show to be exciting, brutal, intense but not pandering and plain ol' nuts.

If you could edit out the entire Meechum threesome and give President Walker a little dignity in the end then the show might have really had my love.

But Kevin Spacey does and the only woman who should ever play his wife, Robin Wright. They are worth ten thousand times the mediocre writing.