DonJohn80

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Reviews

Danger Zone: The Making of 'Top Gun'
(2004)

So many vomit stories
There are some great stories about the production in this doc, from how they worked to the navy to how almost every actor threw up when they went up in the jets. The most interesting stuff for me was the post production information, like how the editors had to work to build the aerial parts of the story in the editing bay by combining random parts of different sequences.

The whole thing is broken down into sections so you get stories about the writing, obtaining a technical advisor, and even a bit about the article it was based on before the cast really comes into it. If you're interested about what goes into a movie and not just the stars, this is well worth your time.

The Oracle
(2020)

The positive reviews on here must be from crew members
Joe Dante tells a story where he and John Landis were at a movie once. Like me they stayed through anything as a matter of principal up until this point. One turned to the other and just said "life's too short", and they got up and left. Forty-eight minutes in, and Alien Prophecy became the first movie in approximately 20 years that I have shut off with no intentions of returning to.

The Homicidal Homemaker
(2016)

It keeps making me hungry
The Homicidal Homemaker manages to create recipes with a spooky vibe for those of us who like it to be Halloween all year round. She also offers achievable recipes that let us add a little flair without spending a fortune on culinary school. A must watch for anyone planning a Halloween gathering.

Greystone Park
(2012)

So bad it almost turned me off movies
The son of Oliver Stone watched Blair Witch Project and Session 9 and incorrectly assumed he could do that. The worst horror film of the decade.

Iron Man
(2008)

It doesn't get much better than this
Quite possibly the best comic movie ever, hovering around the level of the first Spider-Man (before Raimi lost his mind). Robert Downey Jr was as perfect a casting job as we've been expecting, Bridges plays Obidiah Stane that you won't even think of him as The Dude, the CG doesn't suck,and it doesn't try to cram too much...(read more) in (the runtime of just over two hours feels just right). Any worries I had about this film went right out the window, and they'll stay out the window when I go again... and again... and again. Just remember to stick through the credits, because if you know anything about Marvel (and even if you don't) you'll find the wait worth it.

Beowulf
(1999)

I liked it... I think
This was my first exposure to Beowulf, so I didn't find my views of the film coloured by the closeness (or lack thereof) of the plot or anything of that sort. Just had to point that out since I find peoples reviews of adaptations are usually heavily based on source material. First thing I want to point out is that the "futuristic setting" barely comes into play. If you're expecting a big sci-fi film, or avoiding the film because of the sci-fi you should know that the only real futuristic elements are a high tech telescope, a castle that doesn't even look like anything, and the pizza cutter of doom wielded by one of the extras. I suppose the soundtrack gives it a sci-fi type feel, since it makes use of a lot of techno. Unfortunately I found the soundtrack quite uneven. Some of it was good and suited to the scene, some of it was so bad I turned on subtitles and muted my TV. Most of the soundtrack just had me thinking "do I know this song or did they just rip off a song I know?" The music wasn't the only uneven thing though, some of the acting in this film was atrocious. Lambert manages to keep his wry charm, Rhona Mitra was quite impressive, and Layla Roberts was good at what little she had to work with. Everyone else ran the spectrum from mediocre (the king... was he a king... I was kinda lost on that) to something that looked like the role was filled by the first hobo they could find (the assistant weapons master). Fight choreography was sadly lacking, so don't expect an awesome action flick. The monsters were kind of lame, so don't count on oohing and aahing at the effects. In truth, this film had the potential to be very great as a bad film but the few descent actors and good bits to the soundtrack raised the bar so it was mostly just bad. Personally, I like Christopher Lambert and I like bad movies, so I liked it... just not as much as I could have with a bit of tweaking.

Street Fighter: The Animated Series
(1995)

The worst thing ever, and I don't just mean on TV
As much as I hated the movie that this series follows I can at least says that Zangief was amusing. The animated series is quite possibly one of the worst things ever produced. The animation is quite often inconsistent, although it does stay consistently bad. The shape of a characters face is even capable of drastically changing in the same shot. The script and voice acting also leave something to be desired since most of the cast seems about as talented as the cast of a third grade drama play. Characters like Cammy and DJ are so forced into stereotypes of their nationalities that episodes containing them are almost physically painful to watch, not that the series isn't painful on a regular basis anyway. Episode plots seem to strive to reach new levels of lame with every turn and are so full of plot holes it amazes me they had time to show commercials. Truthfully, it amazes me anyone wold pay to advertise during the show. In addition to being a bad series it is an even worse adaptation of Street Fighter. Many of the characters maintain the failed adaptations from the movie. Examples include Ken and Ryu being idiot con men (even though Ken is supposed to be rich), Blanka being Guiles friend Charlie, and Chun Li being a reporter. It takes talent to take something as bad as the movie and make it worse.

Jekyll & Hyde: The Musical
(2001)

A decent movie but a very good Broadway performance!
When I first found this movie in the 2/$5 bin at my local Wal-Mart I thought it looked cheesy enough to pay 2.50 for... then I saw David Hasslehoff and had to buy it. I fully expected a terrible film that I would struggle through the first 30 minutes of and then shut it off, but at least I could say I tried. In truth I did find the first of it kind of hokey, but that's because the acting is performed in the style of the theatre. Everything is meant to be projected to the back rows. Even with this in mind Hasslehoff's facial expressions as Hyde were a bit cheese at some point, but his overall performance was good. Coleen Sexton's performance was amazing all around as she is not only stunning, but has an amazing voice. In general I found some of the song lyrics in the play came across as rather forced (on account of the writers, not the singers) but the entire experience remains quite enjoyable. I highly recommend the 2.50. :D (or maybe even a bit more)

Underworld
(1985)

Fails in every aspect
Clive Barker has stated this film was one of the reasons he directed Hellraiser himself, so I first watched this movie knowing that it was going to be terrible. I also hoped it would be the watchable kind of bad, no luck there. First off, this isn't even really a horror movie. The possibility is there but mostly it's mutants in bad make-up, so it's more sci-fi. The costuming and direction looks like a bad new wave music video with less budget than a three minute video would have. The use of red and blue lighting puts me in mind of Dario Argento, and as such blasphemes his name. The acting and script were also terrible, causing the movie to drag on until it feels like you've been sentenced to hell for renting/buying this film. The only reason I kept watching is because I'm a Barker fan through thick and thin. The only mildly redeeming quality I a brief bit at the end, which seemed tacked on anyway. It was hardly connected to the story and focused on a subplot of sorts that had no development. I would guess it was only mentioned to permit a horrific ending, but it ended up the wrong kind of horrific.

Hellraiser: Hellseeker
(2002)

More of a sequel to a sequel
Although many people complained that Pinhead was hardly in Inferno it was forgotten that Hellraiser technically isn't about Pinhead... at least not originally. The Cenobites served to administer pain and pleasure to the souls they claim, and these souls are the basis of Hellraiser. When Dimension took over and cut Barker out of the picture the series became more of a standard horror piece. Inferno moved away from this as did Hellseeker. The return of Kirsty was very welcome. This helped bring the series closer to its roots, at the same time shooting off in a new direction. Once the legions of Leviathan would rip you apart and put you in a shoebox in hell until they felt like playing with you again. Now the Cenobites seem to have taken a liking to gaslighting (slowly driving someone mad with subtle spaced out pressure). Death by chains is hard to keep fresh, but this new hell for the mind could get stale fast. Hellseeker actually plays out mildly similar to Inferno, but it utilizes some different techniques. If Inferno hadn't been made this film would have been more enjoyable, but I still find it worth the money. For fans of horror I think the better of the two is hard to call. For Hellraiser fans who've abandoned the path of Leviathan this is a much better place to return since neither are connected to a grander plot.

Silent Night, Deadly Night 2
(1987)

A joy if you like bad horror
The first thing anyone will admit when mentioning this movie is that it is terrible. It is even admitted in the Anchor Bay DVD release that it was mostly edited from the original to extend the video shelf-life of the first film, which was also less than Citizen Kane. The new material is acted with less talent than a grade school play, and those same grade school children could have written the script were it not for the not so child-like subject. The movie is merely an attempt to capitalize on gore, nudity, and controversy. As such, if you haven't seen the original in a while, this is a decent horror film. The slasher genre makes no claims to being Oscar worthy, so don't expect it to be and you'll be fine.If you go into this movie wanting to watch a badly made gore-fest you won't be disappointed. I find the delivery of the line "Garbage Day" makes this film one of my horror favorites despite the fact I rate it 4/10.

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