ethanrunt

Mohammaed is the story of two brothers, the eldest, Mohammed (A stunning Kayvan Novak), has mental difficulties, which puts the pressure on much-younger Adam (Jayden Revri) to look after him on a day when he simply wants to head out and see a film, whilst their mother, Emily (Sophie Thompson), has plenty on for herself. A trip to the bank is the dominant setting for all the neatly-juggled dominoes to fall, and to take a light comic drama and turn it into a fun action movie. It's always a delight to be watching something that hits strong emotional beats with the script, finding honesty, but also takes into account the enjoyment of popcorn cinema and finds ways to lace the ideas and tones/visual themes into a project, and Mohammed is the kind of short with grand ambitions and effective designs to match them. Once the world is carefully established, the dynamics of the leads formed and fused for the audience, the film could take easy directions to hit hollow but effective-enough discussions on mental handicaps, carers, sibling bonds and the importance of family, but casing it in a pseudo- superhero movie (A pseudohero movie?) makes the pieces fit into an exciting tapestry that is carefully constructed so-as to not loose track of the balls of drama juggling in the air, but rather deliver home-runs based on each of the concepts examined in the short time frame, with the use of tension, thrills, big comedic beats and some exceptional dramatic moments that creep up when you're not looking and hit you harder than a Hulk fist.

Mohammed is the director's fourth short film, and as writer as well his voice and style is becoming confident and unique, taking ideas and elements from what has come before and packaging it up in ways as yet not seen, and it's very exciting to think of where the people behind a film like this will go. One of the strongest short films in recent years, the definition of a must-see.

Does the film win back hearts? Is it the same as the modern show? Is spider-pig still the scourge of the total lack of taste in the culture we live in today? All three answers are yes.

The film starts with the logos, and annoying and unfunny modern Ralph Wiggum, overused all the time, singing the fanfare as well, and then into the 'movie'. Well, Itchy and Scratchy 2, and what a nice little cartoon that is, until Homer has to ruin it, poke fun at everyone for paying to see the film, and we begin with some opening sequence especially for the movie.

The animation has improved a lot, clearer, more details, and some nice use of 3-D models.

Still, it doesn't amount to much in the whole scheme of things, and the first scene of the real part of the film sets the tone to the events. Green Day (Why a crap band anyway) are doing a concert at Lake Springfield, and are pelted at when they try to talk about the environment, and soon enough the lake dissolves their ship, and we get a great and rarely laughed at by the crowd Titanic joke. Violins anyone? From then on we go through two plots, Lisa campaigning about the environment, a terrible character now, she was once funny when she showed she had a sense of humour too, but now is just dull and not care able, and she meets a boy, with an atrocious Irish accent and a string of unfunny almost not jokes.

The other side of the family is Bart and Homer, hanging out, doing chores, starting a dare contest, involving Bart's dick, and how grossly unfunny and completely unnecessary that scene is, but everyone else just laughs like they would at a terrible modern episode.

Bart's story here is about wanting to have a father like Flanders, rather than Homer. Marge ends up having a story later on in the film when she hates Homer, and Maggie, she gets to break a bottle, jump around and throw a rock at the baddie, just perfect, best character in the family.

After the nudity, he collects Bart and they go into Krusty Burger, where, as always on open days at a business, a commercial is being shot, and a pig is about to be killed, but is too cute and Homer-like for him to allow it, so they get a new pet, one that takes to him like he does to it. Unfortunately, all his leavings need to be disposed of properly, a ban on dumping In the Lake is enforced, but Homer as he is, decides that dumping would take too long, and the poor guy wants donuts, so bang, there it is, contaminated lake, donuts needed, environmental disaster, that makes Environmental Agency leader Cargill (played with classic panache and some great improves by Albert Brooks) give the new president, a completely ridiculous Schwarzenegger where a more subtle Wolfcastle would have fit perfectly, the option to dome Springfield and remove it from the country.

It's a bunch of bad plots with some particularly funny, and some awfully horrendous, jokes, but the killer here is that as it's a big screen outing, the writers, the series' finest including one John Swartzwelder, writer of over 50 episodes, most of them are the shows finest and most original, and funny, decided to make it one with a message, and is hit over the head until we are all feeling the pain, of global warming, yeah, we don't care, we want to see funny moments and a clever, smaller than city wide death script, so hopefully in the sequel a more family based series of events one can hope.

The writing is average, the animation is great, the jokes range from terrible (Spider-Pig) to genius (on signs Homer placed as a distraction- "We shouldn't stop at any more 'sop', 'yeld' or one 'vew' signs") and the voices are almost great, Julie Kavner in some of the latter scenes tries to make sad Marge too much like her own voice, and it sounds like Marge gets bunged up then back to normal.

Too many flashbacks, not enough explanation of random events and not looking at the town enough, Burns and Smithers only have 2 talking scenes, Apu has one, Moe has a bit, but it looks like his events could have made the film interesting for a further 20 minutes alone, as, like most TV movie spin-offs, it only hits the 1 hour 20 odd minute mark.

The music is interesting, using Hans Zimmer over Alf Clausan was a dare that paid off it seems, but using Dan Castellaneta as the animals rather than Frank Welker, voice over god himself, seems to detract from the quality.

The best bit of the not for TV moments, there are 2 I can tell, was Otto, he knows how to rock the bong and it's a nice little moment from a great and sorely underused character, and when that seems very good Simpsons, they fall into bad Simpsons too, Cletus, one note stereotype, trying to be used as a character, he has an almost Sideshow Bob and the rakes moment but they only do it twice then put in a line, rather than repeating it over and over and over and over and over and over again, which would have been hilarious.

Overall, it is an opportunity sorely wasted on cheap bad jokes, too much environmentalism and the same Homer plot we've had almost 300 times now, hopefully Futurama will come back in fashion to prove it deserves the title it stole from The Simpsons 8 years ago.

8/10

From the start it seems like Superman Returns. A planet blows up, credits. and the film isn't even called Fantastic 4: insert subtitle here, but merely 4: insert. Does this mean they aren't fantastic anymore? It'd appear so.

From the get go on earth the team are like modern day Paris Hiltons, everything about their life is in the papers, and paparazzi are just overpowering the wedding of Sue and Reed, causing problems even for our beloved Stan Lee in his finest cameo, comedic wise at last, and at least it's not cheesy, i mean, 'Amazing how one man really can make a difference" ? But, not to spoil the brilliance for anyone, the movie, as stated everywhere in the build up, is all about the awesome action in the film. Yeah, OK, that may be, but mixing awesome action with CGI that looks remotely realistic wouldn't go amiss, i know it's a comic book, but it's not a cartoon adaptation, real people don't look or plastic-esquire you know!

Gripes apart, and there is one other that pops up later, the film is a testament to the belief that the last one was good but not enough. More comedy, more action and less of the plot problems, rather they add a new character, they work as a team, and Doom comes back and just as quickly turns on everyone in what can only be described as the moment the makers were hoping would make the film a PG-13 in America for reputation, unlucky guys, apparently.

Going from London to China to Japan, i think, and Germany, and just in New York, where the Baxter Building's roof now has glass on the top in the shape of their logo :) It's dizzying, and a little too fast, when in all they could have gotten it done slower with more breathing space between random action that rots your brain until you go, oh, it's almost over, but wait, they have to wrap it up, come on, okay, that's it, yep, oh, you aren't going to die? Damn, my smile has dissappeared from my face.

See, spoiling without spoiling, me so clever. The acting is average, Alba really annoying with them glasses randomly, and just not being great, she never is, but Evans and Chiklis showing great chemistry once again as everyone's favourites, and even more a-fussin' and a-feudin'.

On top of that, add the grandiose 4plane, the great Doug Jones doing what he does best, take that you motion capture wuss Serkis Jones knows how to not be human, unless the Pale Man really is what he is like... And Lawrence Fishburne adds deep bass and humanoid-ity to the Surfer, who, considering i never liked him, kind of showed me his worth, and although the film should be called Silver Surfer meets the Fantastic Four, as it's more his movie than their's, especially the final battle, the film keeps it's tone high, take that darker sequels, yes Spidey, AWE and X3! funny, silly, and despite poor graphics in some bits, and annoying moments including bad pacing, the film is just as good as the original, and shows promise once again that the next Fantastic Four could be a little longer and a lot less about Sue... 8/10

Last year i suffered a fate i felt was worse than death, POTC2, and it was only recently i realised it was due to a lack of re-watching of the first, not being in the right frame of mind, and kids, stinking rotten kids.

This time, i watched the 1st 2 back2back days before, kept that frame of mind and got me, for the first time since Hot Fuzz, excited to see a movie.

But did the shenanigans of Depp, Knightly, Bloom, Rush, Crook and McNally give me enough reason to enjoy the trip to what has been called an overlong diatribe fest, too violent, too complex and too little like the first one?

no the critics are just hate filled against this series, pure and simple. Zodiac was far more complex and violent, but did that get a hard time? no chance.

No, the critics are about as lenient on this film as Have I Got News For You with a guest presenter in the news that week.

It seems that the reviews have rallied against the film, which is a shame as i feel much different to these:

For one the 'confusing' aspect is as confusing as a ball on the ground with instructions laid out next to it which go through the method of kicking it step by step over 50 sections, each with pictures. They tell you half of it and let you understand the rest for yourself, they do the same in indie films and the critics call it ambiguous, but if they leave it all on a plate, the critics will say it's force feeding you, so they can shut up.

Too violent? Bah, the nastiest moment in the trilogy remains the eyeball pecking out at the start of 2, with Crook's fork fortune a close second, i hate eye injuries. When they said too violent forgive me for thinking it'd be 300 on the sea.

The cast are weak? I'm sorry if you find the fact that they have settled into the characters so perfectly that everything they do in real life is more like these characters, but they are far from weak.

Depp saves it? I admit, yet again Depp is fantastic and hilarious, and lots of other words, one for each time he appears on screen thrice, or even 10 times at once, but it's 'saved' by the script, the effects, the direction, the plot and the characters mincing together for lots of fun.

What was wrong with this movie oh dear Ethan our lord and saviour? Some moments were a tad too slow, the endings were almost outnumbering a certain trilogy to do with rings, and it wasn't a porno, i didn't see that final one, but i'm sure the money shot isn't occurring 50 times within 10 minutes, no one is that, Er, i shan't think of a word there.

It's a sad day when a fantastic blockbuster like Pirates is hated as much as a Shrek film, but i guess some peoples tastes don't respect the work of a fine film such as this.

And at least the film gets the graphics bearing better than number 2, and with the 100 odd digital artists in the credits it's no surprise, and i predict it'll go down well at the Oscars next year once again, and much more deserving too, with the crew of the Flying Dutchman looking much better.

The score is as jauntily fun and epic at the same time, with some nice new music amidst the old classics, 'He's a Pirate' over the start of the end credits adds to the epic-ness, and Sparrow's music keeps getting lighter as the film gets darker.

The film looks beautiful, the Carribbean is amazing in itself, but fix the white sands and blue water with the quality of camera-work, a scene with Lord Becket fighting the pearl with him walking as chaos ensues, is a true marvel, and i presume got the shutter speed technique and improved it from Saving Private Ryan and Gladiator, you know when the blood goes everywhere in slow mo and looks amazing, that thing

Nighy's presence once again helps add a cool effect to the air, as does a sadly brief section once again with Jonathon Pryce, he's too good for the small amount of work he does in these films, and Jack Davenport, which his role was expanded slightly from 1 and 2.

OK, there's no big comic action sequence in this one, no water wheel, cannibal island, and the film is a lot more darker, but credit to Mackenzie Crook, Kevin McNally and Lee Arenburg for keeping the film light and having great chemistry with themselves and others, and also to Jack the monkey and Cotton's Parrot, great scenes involving them, shame we didn't get to see if they wanted the heart, and if they wished to double cross everyone and steal the Pearl.

It's a long, but ultimately fun, funny, fresh and interesting approach to the saga, and as sure as it's the most forgettable one, and the scene after the credits isn't funny, rather just a plot point in itself, i'd argue it has some of the great action moments, some of the best comic moments, and some of the highest main character body counts in an ongoing series, even if they keep coming back to life anyway. 10/10

Hot Fuzz Edgar Wright Simon Pegg, Nick Frost, Jim Broadbent, Timothy Dalton.

Words come to mind when watching a film of the immaculate value of a parody of action films, whilst being one itself. Just because they did it so well with Shaun of the Dead in the horror genre, why could it work a second time with the action genre, already way overdone?

It doesn't. Just kidding, no it is a well observed, coherent in being incoherent movie with nods towards Bruckheimer, Scott, the good one, Woo, Bay, themselves, Seagal, and Eastwood/Siegel among the many here.

It starts so formally, with a brilliantly straight cameo from Martin Freeman telling of the brilliance of PC Nicholas Angel, or should that be Angle? As he makes 'them look bad', them being his team, Freeman, Steve Coogan and Bill Nighy, sadly short, but great moments.

From this moment of forced moving to the countryside, hilariously worked out via A Scanner Darkly style spying, we see how truly job-hitched Angel is, not even having time to spend with his girlfriend, yet his plant gets more screen time and respect. We are then taken through the real world of travelling to Gloucestershire, in traditional Wright way, fast cuts, huge sounds, shaky cam awesomeness.

It's a beginning of true hilarity, first time in the town he rounds up teenage drinkers, oh so true, and the town has a hoody problem, always on their mobiles, it's like life on screen, but of course the bigger issue with a new sergeant here is of course that the swan has escaped. No, of course not, that's not as important as the living statue annoyance, curse them.

That first night we finally meet Danny Butterman, 'C*ntstable Butterman' as aptly named by 'The Andys', two detectives named Andrew, great name indeed, and we also find the time to see Bill Bailey, finally some screen time for him, as the receptionist, basically.

It's a tough film to truly explain without giving away some of the many great jokes and set pieces, but let's start with the darn plot: There's somethin' going' down in this here town, and it's not gonna be pretty. There's murder, sorry, accidents, no, wait, sorry, collisions, conspiracies, cults, constables and all manner of c-words.

The film is funny as well as being knowledgeable of not only action films, but thrillers too, with some of the greatest serial killing seen in films, like when Adam Buxton's dumb reporter sadly bites the big one, well, the big one kinda bites him, it's worse than the same scene in the Black Dahlia, and repeated much more often, but it's so hilariously disgusting. Pruning sheers are used imaginatively, i.e. no beheadings happen with them, actors are given the axe, there's a heat wave for a fridge entrepreneur, and there's a snap in store for the new Sergeant, or is there?

It's tense in some scenes, action packed in others, makes you look twice at the people in your local Somerfields, and it never deviates from being a true Action Thriller, with Comedies. And the best part is, Julia Deakin is given not only more screen time than Shaun, but more lines, hard to beat 'Hello' I know, but they do it.

By the time the twists have been settled, the western moments have set in and the crowd have revived from the dropkick to Granny framer's nose, the film once again picks up, it seems that everyone has a gun, and their mothers, and it will be bloody. Cue slow motion, loud action music with bass and John Woo style leaping, and a couple of one liners.

The thing that film failed to do which annoyed me slightly was one scene in Somerfields where the DVD cases are everywhere and a zombie like henchman is fighting Angel, he should have got a DVD, threw it, and realised it won't work, just that damn nod would perfect it, but then again since Timothy Dalton is so truly hilarious at being evil, and Jim Broadbent does good work in the most obvious of roles in this unobvious film, and Timothy Dalton gets some good gore going, the film is almost perfect.

It ranks with Shaun of the Dead indeed, a perfect second movie, and Edgar shows his geekiness in not only the references with dialogue, but some of the shots, straight out of Bad Boys II and Woo flicks. The editing is as kinetic and exciting as ever, the jokes always work, or try to then get a joke out of failing, once again it melds well, the music isn't as good as Shaun but as long as it's done like the Shaun album I'll be getting the CD, and it's one of those films that deserves, and thankfully was, played loudly and rocked on without stopping for breath for 2 hours, it hurt ;)

10/10 instant vintage cult classic comedy, more C's

A film which starts perfectly, using the animated Kage and Jables seen in such classic videos as "FHG" and "Classico", spoofing THX with the power of Farts.

As much as i hate fart jokes, gosh darn it, when they are done by slackers and not by animals, damn they rule. From this we get into an ultimate rock opera named "Kickapoo" with young JB rocking out about Christina family and his uptight father, played by Meatloaf, who really wails on the song. And when Sabbath's Dio sings to JB to keep him informed of what to do via a poster, wow, it's ultimate classic rock, no Nirvana in sight, well, not for an hour and a quarter, because, of course, Dave Grohl, the Nirvana drummer, reprises the Devil for the film.

After a brilliant start, the music keeps going as the credits are done using Tarot Cards, some which i have, due to the deluxe version of the soundtrack. I rule, hee hee. And then, we enter the story with young JB now being JB and meeting KG on Venice Beach, where JB interrupts KG's brilliant guitar work with an improvisation over Bach, and there they hate each other, and we see Lee for the first time.

Now, if you have never seen the show, Lee is their fan, he's the person who really likes them, has a website for them, but fears them when they become obsessive and fears for his life. Lee here is just a simple Pizza dude, but heck, he's not too important in the film, it's just, it's Lee, he gets recognition.

KG soon tolerates JB after a parody of what seems to be getting as hip as Scarface, A Clockwork Orange, but i can't see how a lot of people will recognise the spoof, rather think it's just a skit, but nonetheless, the comic disturbance of seeing Jables being beaten by Americans pretending to be English in white suits is nice, and with a Training Montage following it to level the pace, any uncomfortableness is forgotten.

I haven't talked much about the music of a lot of it, mainly Kickapoo, but the music is top notch, rude, crude, classic, and also you rehear songs from the series, mainly History and the opening tune, and the first strummed part of Explosivo, but it's still amazing, especially on a huge screen.

The story of the film is just crazy, to pay the rent, JB and KG, after finding their band's name, Tenacious D, on their arses, try to make a song that will win them the cash at Open Mic Night. It starts off like Episode 1: The Search For Inspirado, but teeters onto crazy classic ness when they spot that every great rock band had the same Pick, forged from the tooth of the Devil in the Middle Ages, as we are told by Executive Producer Ben Stiller's Guitar Store Dude, and that the Pick is in the Rock and Roll museum in Sacramento.

From this they travel to Sacramento, where they meet Tim Robbins' brilliant Tramp character, as perfectly done as anything, complete hilarity. From this we get into the greatest call back to the TV series during a drug trip, in which JB finally meets Sasquatch.

It's a road trip of a lifetime with less road, less trip, and more guitars, but it's pitch perfect, continuing the brilliance of the TV series the film gets every joke it wants to in, and has more laughs than Black claimed, there were more than 1 Orgasmic jokes here, and just watching KG and JB on the big screen is epic, but wait, there's the amazing ending to talk about.

Having had to re film it as test audiences didn't recognize the Blues Brothers parody, yet Clockwork Orange was noticed?, it had to be re filmed, and, as much as i'd love to see the original, this is fantastic.

Dave Grohl reprises his role as a Demon, here the Devil, from the video "Tribute", he is offered KG if he wins a rock-out, but otherwise would have to stay in hell AND pay their rent, we get an amazing song to end it. Grohl lays it out in a harsh voice that's piercing to the eardrums as we get KG and JB making plans, and a synchronized, and held very long, "Fuuuuuuuuuucccccccc*****" and hilarity ensues. Great lyrics to a brilliant song reveal what is the best song in the world that Tribute is based on, and believe me, it's pretty much there in my eyes.

1:34 minutes long, starting and ending with fart gags, and including C*ck push ups and laser deactivation with genitalia scenes, Tenacious D is obviously not a film for the whole family, nor for Commercial Black fans, but for Fans of the series, it's the ultimate movie, clever, stupid, brilliant, rocking, and has great cameos. Fast, fun and pitch perfect, i urge every fan to see it, not so much the rest though, you won't get it.

One more thing, they even mention Rocket Sauce, that's how special it is. 10/10 easily, and the best cult and comedy movie in the last 20 years!

OK, the title alone caused such a huge internet buzz that it was remade as an R rated movie, and i can't see any other way.

The film is bad, it's great, but the premise, and some of the dialogue? BAD. Example, the air con is out and it's hard to breathe: Sam Jackson 'Let's get these guys some air!'

A simple premise though, i saw a murder from a evil mob guy, lets testify, is surprisingly tense, as after the whole set up of bad characters who will survive, the snakes were unleashed. God help me, the graphics suck, but the sounds, i was feeling scared.

Please note, i was looking forward to this for a long time, and had my hands over my ears and eyes a lot, but the beginnings of the snake invasion are excellent, two people doing it in a bathroom, a snake bites her nipple, horny, but funny. A guy goes to pee, the snake bites his person, he wrestles with it, pulling it a lot! i was in stitches.

Then the plane's electrics fail, and our great friend, co-pilot David 'Whammy' Koecher begins to see snakes, after the pilot 'suffered a heart attack' from being bitten, and then the airbag thingys, never been on a plane so i don't know, fall down, along with snakes, and people's eyes are eaten, hilarious.

A huge snakes goes through a woman's clothes whilst she's sleeping, and she moans, and that's the tone, silly, fast but ultimately fun.

The two shocks for me came at the end, purely because one was random and the other was a long time since a last snake attack, but put it this way, when you hear Samuel L. Jackson say "I'm getting pretty damn tired of these motherfu**ing snakes on my motherfu**ing plane!" You cannot help but smile.

Years of waiting has paid off to deliver a suspenseful, creepy, riot of a thriller, and in the end, isn't that what you want for a summer movie? this is now the second best film of the summer so far, first was Miami Vice.

5 stars *****

Imagine, the anticipation of seeing another delve into the View Askiewniverse, imagine it's a sequel to the best work. Now imagine the director thought, lots of money? Lets add locations! Why did he not stick with the Clerks feel? I mean, is it so hard to add events in just set in the restaurant, the go karting was unnecessary, the rants, not inspiring, and the language, no where near our expected vulgarity level, and there's more sets, the restaurant and outside, jail cell, quick stop and rst, the car, all unnecessary when you could have only had the surroundings of the work day. Was that so hard smith? also, the donkey show was way out of place, it was boring, unfunny and just didn't fit in with the tone, as with the ABC dancing scene, wtf? who wrote that crock of...? OK, i'm a huge fan, and when i see the last of the great series be a terrible film, i get mad. The jokes were stale, Randal had too much emotional depth, and they ended up doing that camera passes the characters in thought thing Scrubs do every episode, not in with the tone of the original, which i was hoping for. Overlong for the no. of events, and not even Jay and Silent Bob could redeem it, as even though they had a title card, they were the only ones.

WHY? And the old references? just not needed. Wait for rentals.

What a shame, after Underworld showed great promise, horror and action, stylish and interesting, the sequel is pretty mush exactly the same, only the fights are rubbish. Why is it all so perfect, it is shown through style, not through character, and they have to narrate the whole bloody thing so people know what is going on. This is the beginning of the year of bad sequels: Tokyo Drift, X3, Garfield 2, hopefully Clerks 2 won't fall in here, it's such a shame, why can't Hollywood Studioos treat it's viewers with respect and make something good?

I guess we can only wait and see, best options nowadays are to go to the Independent films: Brick, Good Night and Good Luck, A Scanner Darkly, Three Burials.

Wow, after reading only 1 review that was almost positive, from someone who had an early screening, well midnight one, i thought, What am i putting myself up for? The answer was 2 and a half hours of film, yes kinda long considering there was no f-words of explosions, they go down well in a coherent plot in my opinion, look at Pulp Fiction and Die Hard 2! But for a slow film this was well made, a breathtaking, not thriller in particular, drama about a silly little treasure hunt, like a mature National Treasure, which i love.

The fact that all the 'twists' are obvious without reading anything says a lot, but still, the score makes the film really work, a great use of choir esquire music really adds to the revelation scenes, and makes the car chase a little different.

Even if u don't care about the film, u see Paul Bettany whip himself, smug git, and we can all marvel and the fluffiness of Tom Hank's do.

Ron Howard, you have done it again!

Sadly a missed the chance to see this gem in the cinema, i could never find time to go to the cinema around November, however a film based around murder, sex and Val Kilmer expressing how homosexual his character is for the whole film. Robert Downey Jr. Hillariously mucks up a robbery and sees his partner die, then stumbles into an audition, in which the character's partner has just been killed in front of him, and surprise surprise, he acts like it's real and gets the part. From here on in Harry (Downey Jr.) and his childhood friend, who is interlocking by destiney withhis story, go through murder, deception, fraud and other times with hilarious consequences, like when a body turns up in their hotel room as a sting, in order to get rid of the corpse they chuck it off the top of the roof, causing it to nearly miss a dumpster, obviously breaking bones. Hilarious!!!!!!

For four years Harry Hill has been consistently funny making fun of TV and re-editing things to look different. A hero in my eyes, as in the last year i've started doing the same, but no one can do it as well with the best deadpan, well almost, and quick witted comic timing around. His innovative views of TV shows and little sections of them, like this week when dot from eastenders steps out in front of a taxi, and he edits it with footage taken in which he hits a doll mildly resembling the same person, making it so funny and unexpected that it'll make you laugh for half the episode, but by then you'd have seen thousands of other jokes in similar vein or better, so you'll be laughing for a week, which is when the next episode was on.

Why did such respectable movie magazines like Empire give this gloriously naughty fun one star, when the lesser, though still good, Transporter 2 gets 3? Maybe because it is sci-fi.

People have a problem with the future, they know it's coming, but unless Spielberg adds positivity and Tom Cruise to the agenda great films fail. Look at, if you don't believe me, AI, no Tom Cruise, not much of a positive spin, didn't do that well damned god movie that it is. Titan AE, possibly one of the best, sassiest cartoons around that isn't a TV show, and it seems like Jos Whedon could have wrote it, but no Spielberg, positive spin or Cruise so it bombed. Aeon Flux, Charlize Theron, hot hot hot, in skimpy outfits at most times, others are less or nothing, spreading her legs a lot and getting her crotch near guys faces, the best view a guy would want just before they died.

This is a nicely violent tale of F**k the man. The government is dictates, there is a 'virus' outside of one city, i can't remember if it was still there or not by the end, and there is a brother vying for power, and the death of a talented girl's sister. What happens? Guns, splits, sex and kicks. Cloning and scientific stuff are explained in layman's terms, hell it is MTV. I'm the kind of guy who loves thinking films, recently i'm proud to say I saw Brokeback, and everyone thinks i'm gay for it, they don't know what they're missing. In my diary the next four films i'm seeing, and in order, are: Capote, Good Night and Good Luck, Syriana and V for Vendetta, the last one hopefully will be as thinking as the comic, and i'm excited, but if your someone who likes action and sex. Sorry, if your a guy, you'll love this, if your a girl, well, if your turned on y Charlize Theron, maybe we can get together and 'talk'.

Aeon Flux, a good film, but don't say it too fast in an English accent, or you might end up with a ticket to a porn film, namely, like my friend said, Anul Flux. Heck, if Charlize was in that i'd prefer it.

A film about Johnny Cash the legend? Definitely on my cinema books. A great film destined for Oscar glory? Well that's what i watch from December to early March. But a film where the music of legends is done by the actors? Oh, a line is put right there, and that conveniently and coincidentally lets me say that this film definitely Walks the Line, heck it even somersaults, moonwalks and air guitar riffs Under The Bridge by the Red Hot Chili Peppers on it, but it also feels Holywooded! Less talk about the pill-popping, more time attempting an emotional level which for me has only been reached by true masters of films, like Man on the Moon, a definite tear-jerker, Futurama's episode called Jurassic Bark, i almost cried! But yet through what felt like an hour and a half but i am told was two hours twenty i connected to these characters, by which i mean Johnny Cash and June Carter, not one iota! It's a shame that what could have been the single greatest film of the year seems less than some of the trailers, mainly Syriana and Good Night and Good Luck, and even the film i saw before it, the excellently underrated classic, Aeon Flux, of which is shamed to no definitely of no chance of a sequel. Walk the Line has some great moments and some really amazing musical talent from Joakuin Phoenix and the sassy southern style Reece Witherspoon used, but nothing really attaches you to a second viewing on the big screen, i'm so fed up, i'll have to wait till next week now for the next chance of a good film, the 5-stared big film Capote!

I heard great things about Sleepy Hollow for years, but felt i was too young to watch it, but over the past few years i really got into classic Burton, Mars Attacks! Batman and Beetlejuice being the finest of them. A chance to watch another film of Tim Burton pairing up with Johnny Depp, probably the greatest, most underrated actor of all time still, stood ahead of me when it was to be shown on TV, and as a fan, i knew a Gothic horror film with lots of decapitations made by the greatest duo in Hollywood ever was impossible to miss.

Set in England, the story follows a police constable going to a secluded English village to explore the mysterious beheadings said to be done by a fabled Headless horseman. This is all the story that it needs, though there are a lot of flashbacks, but what you need to know is that this is an extremely violent, camp, Gothic and funny. With hilarious decapitations, random horse chases and even a guy getting chopped in half and another one getting impaled and dragged through a window before being beheaded. A great cast, both English and American, makes this silly little Gothic romp one of the greatest films of our time, if your a fan of black humour, and if you like Tim Burton i guess you are.

Brokeback Mountain seems like a film just designed to be different, two men falling in love and trying to make their relationship work as they have other relationships. But this film doesn't just stop at being different, and it's not at all afraid to be slow paced and sometimes just stop the story so the characters can develop on screen. With amazing performances from Heath Ledger (Who seems unrecognisable) and Jake Gyllenhal (Who's grown up so much since Donnie Darko and The Day After Tomorrow) Brokeback offers a great story, a sad twist, fantastic acting and dialogue, some of the greatest landscapes ever seen on screen and some shocking scenes, especially with the sheep and the couple's first time. As a film designed to change Hollywood it is amazing, but as an award winning film there's no need for nominations, when the Oscar nominations are announced on 31st January there should just be two words listed for most of the categories, Brokeback Mountain. Fantastic, Breathtaking, Original.

Why i kept saying this movie will be bad is because i hate how long the films Peter Jackson makes are, it's hard to keep comfy and occupied when someone delivers a 20 minute monologue about places that aren't even real and events that never ever, no matter how much we evolve, will happen or have happened, but this is more realistic, a film about the love of a woman by a Gorrila, who is huge and would crush her if they ever 'got it on'! It's a hard film, as always, to genreise, but i must say when the brontosaurus stampede and fall off cliff scene happened i thought, comedy of errors, then the scene where Ann and Kong fall down a cliff with two Tyrannosaurus Rexs i realised this is a Adventure Romantic Comedy of Errors, much like Indiana Jones Meets the Parents, but better on both parts. With the first hour and a bit taken up on developing the characters, human ones, and the second being an adventure, the third was well done to fix both styles together and make Kong more human than anyone could want, he became a human who was just less of an actor than Jack Black, i have to point out i caved in to seeing this film when i found out the Blackster is in a lot of this film. Graphics are superb, the score really brings out emotions and those natives really are creepy, and violent. All in all this is the third best film all year, top two are Sideways and Serenity, and under it are Batman Begins and Crash! See Kong for god's sake, at least once please see this film!

Well, lets start, Family Guy, better than the Simpsons all the time, and always one of the most 'controversial' and funniest shows on TV, and now they made a film of it, albeit three episodes and some extra animation at the start and end, and guess what, it works. The first part is more of an opening and the other two are a two-parter, but although it is three episodes, there is parts that for obvious reasons going to be bleeped, edited or just completely taken out when it is on TV, which is a shame, as some of this makes viewing that almost made me cry and pee myself with laughter, especially the bit where we see what i always wanted to see, Bugs Bunny hunted down by Elmar Fudd, and the hilarious Jesus skills bit, with an amazing humming and dancing bit that i couldn't keep a straight face for a second with. Go out and get it, NOW!!!

After watching the 12th season of the simpsons, the one with all the guest stars, i realised that America had no originality, then i watched Futurama. A fantastic way to make an imaginative version of the regular sit-com. a man gets frozen and wakes up 1000 years in the future, makes friends, finds family and gets a job. Essentially a family sit-com but done so well that you can forget that and laugh so much, and sometimes cry, yes, cry. Especially the episode about Fry's dog, that always gets me. So, if you want to have bad guest stars and a distinct lack of both plot and comedy, stick with the simpsons, but for ingenuity and comedy at it's finest, get these DVDs and start waiting for the DVD movie, i am.

The appallingly bad Madagascar movie opener not only was forgotten by the first ten minutes of Curse but confused people when the BBFC rating screen popped up. As the images of that appallingly bad happy Christmas movie faded away, we were relished to the images of Wallace and Gromit: Through the ages! Fantastic story based on photos as the credits roll past, and then we highlight the moon and the film name turns into a bunny, using fantastic graphics that put Pixar and Dreamworks to shame. The story unfolds as little rabbits begin to attack the vegetables cared for by the village, 4 days before the town's annual vegetable show and contest. Anti-Pesto, our dynamic duo's security group, and new company, are the ones who secure the vegetables in the most extremely irrelevant ways. As the story unfolds, Wallace meets a rich woman and tries to come up with a way to rehabilitate rabbits and make them hate vegetables. This film has a quintessentially English attitude, although at some parts this film is childish and has some sad moments, only ever done in A Close Shave. The computer graphics are hard to spot, the fingerprints add a realism to the film and make the characters have a soul. This film is great fun, and well made, but a bit too childish in some cases.

Swiss Toni, a sketch from the fast show, the greatest sketch show in recent years, is about a man who lives with his mum and runs a used car dealership. He spends his time trying to get back with his ex-wife and his company is doing badly. With classic episodes including one with 4 different versions of the same story, one about a woman trying to be the next J.K. Rowling and one with the group bringing in a robot to be a salesman this show lives up to the fast show, especially Charlie Higson's amazingly pretentious character is amazingly likable, and sometimes sympathetic. With a young boy, an old alcoholic and a young beautiful receptionist, this sitcom really feels different, even though it isn't.

Quentin Tarantino plays a blind guy on the streets of New York living in the fear that the Lord will one day lose control and the devil will send his minions of devil blood, or his sons, to Earth to take over and be evil. He parades around New York like an insane guy and people live in fear of him. One day what he fears comes true and as he starts to tell everyone, the Earth becomes under the spell of Stan's sons (that's a typo). Whilst Deacon, our blind hero, is getting injured out of fear, Adam Sandler's Nicky enters Earth and is scared, but is talked through Earth by his friend and canine companion Mr. Beefy. He meets a girl and falls in love, shocker. He becomes good and takes out his brothers and save the world, though the Fonz does get covered in bees, it'll be a long time till he calls anyone a homo again. The world is saved and Nicky and his love stay and protect Earth, whilst the other two are shoved up Hitler, in the other way. Sadly, our hero and the title character dies or at least is set on fire and we never see him again. Little Deacon is a great film, but Deacon could have been in it more than Nicky, i mean, he's not even in the title.

After seeing Get Shorty I was highly anticipating this to be worse but not that bad, and that's exactly what it is. It starts with one of those great lines: 'Sequels, I hate them!' and begins to get better. It is quite a busy film with some moments where the plot is so muddled that you think that your brain stopped for a bit of the film, but that should never stop your enjoyment, especially in a film which has the Rock in the best role possible, a homosexual actor working as a bodyguard for potentially the silliest, but still good, role Vince Vaughn has had in recent years, playing the white guy who is slightly more powerful than others and thinks he's black. By the end of this he is the one who seems to lose the most respect by dancing whilst being on fire. For God's sake, why didn't he stop! drop! and roll? Harvey Keitel seems restricted as he cannot do anything apart from talk on the phone and threaten Vince, which is a dull sight to see after i laughed till i cried by his double act with the master QT in Pulp Fiction. John Travalta is great as Chili, but that's to be expected now. Uma Thurman is average, and the dance scene in this is no where near as hilarious as the one from Pulp Fiction. Cedric the Entertainer seems to be more and more like a fat Martin Lawrence in each movie, Andre Benjamin is surprisingly funny considering i hate all that rap and hip-hop stuff that this film seems to revolve around. Christina Millian is good and the comedy is good. Not as good as the first, but it still has Danny DeVito in it. Be cool and Get Shorty on DVD, but this seems to be a rental film only.

Where to start??? My brother found the first episode three years ago when searching for queer duck. We got into it, and enjoyed everything. Episodes of the simple comedy are rare in that they are never awful, but some have a dumb punchline. Why does a show where the two main characters are eggs, one of which doesn't move, that don't speak regularly, a monkey, a ninja pirate, a bunch of rebellious jams, a bull so called to be a evil mastermind who is Weeble's father, and sometimes an angry human who explodes, make us laugh? Look at the list. Episodes can range from being superheroes to getting high while being a detective and from being a public service announcement to the duo just trying to get pie. Fantastic!!!

So, If million dollar baby, closer and ray can get Oscars, this will rip the awards apart by taking 40 of the couple of awards it will probably be nominated for as it is a good film, not a bad one like this years bunch, Sideways excluded. Any film that has Don Cheadle getting laid has to be a good one, he wouldn't do it for Clooney, would he, seeing as he is a producer for this, and has someone believe that they were saved by an angel as he fired blanks has to be funny, sweet and well done, and the performances given really justify the intensity, thoughtful and damaging ideas with wit, integrity, and fantastic scenes of people of LA crashing as their lives touch in different ways to other cities. Brenden Fraser being able to get away with having a go at taking a photo, never taken, of him pinning a medal on an iraqi called Sadamn and not getting told off makes this racially confident and strong enough to cope with what is thrown at it. Not a popcorn film, but useful as a form of brain flakes.