soheifox

I remember this show, I liked it. It had one of those premises you just don't see anymore. And it had a hero. Remember those? Heroes? You don't see those in movies or TV much anymore, either. People who did what was right.. just because it was right. Jesse woulda been the same kinda man with or without the super-bike. But I'm digressing far too much.

Maybe I'm getting old, but I miss shows that were about going out, doing good, and looking cool while doing it. Street Hawk had that in huge spades. I can't say it was canceled before it's time, really. It just came too late in the game.

Of course, we could do like the Firefly fans and all gather up and inflate it as being better then it really was, and cry about the injustice about a totally average show getting cut because average isn't good enough on the big networks. That might be fun.

My fiancée, whom I love dearly, had been bugging me to see this movie since we began dating. Now, she is a huge Star Wars fan, and I began to suspect this may have been a case of Ewan-desire and not so much for the movie itself. I still think that's the case. However, I also went into this expecting to enjoy it because I adore musicals. I pointed out that I would have walked out of the theater during the chaotic, pointless beginning but was glad she told me it was a good movie, possibly had a bad beginning. (Side note here: Why do movies perpetuate the myth that Absinthe does.. well.. anything? It's just an anise wine. It's a clean drunk and nothing more, people. Yes, Wormwood is an hallucinogenic... BUT ONLY IN DOSES BIG ENOUGH TO KILL AN ELEPHANT!!) My walk out instinct would have been correct. What a piece of garbage... from the music on down to the plot. The second I heard something from Nirvana, my guts recoiled. But I thought it was a onetime thing just to be cute. Then the movie went on and on and on and on with that crap. Hey, when you're writing a musical? Write at least one or two of your own bleeping songs. Unoriginal hack. Even the big romantic number, Come What May? I can't place it exactly but I am SURE I've heard it before.

My fiancée can attest that I knew everything that was going to happen as surely as I could sing the next line of almost every song before the characters did. I said "She's going to die of some illness." about 10 seconds after she started dancing with Ewan's character. According to her we were told she dies at the beginning.. but I wasn't in the room yet. The plot was stiflingly boring and predictable, replete with the obligatory forced part wherein Satine tries to convince what's-his-name that she didn't love him. Blah blah blah money, blah blah dying. Blah blah all rich people are evil. Yammer patter whore with a heart of gold. Art and love are truth blah blah the show must go on yammer blah blah. *Yawn* At any point after the first 15 minutes I could have paused the movie, told her the rest of the story, and only have missed some pointless subplot about the proposed ending of the play.

This gets a 2, at least, because.. hey Ewan can SING! And sing WELL. It's just painful to hear WHAT they made him sing.

And I don't care what the directors and whatnot say. Nicole Kidman is not singing in this movie. She is so obviously lip-syncing it that it's painful to watch.

MY overall advice? The beginning was a great hint that I would have been wise to take. This movie is all flash and pretty swirly distracting stuff.

...incidentally, nobody would ever refer to the famous dance as doing the "can can can". When you say it three times, it means something about Euclidean geometry.

I sat down to watch this movie, with my brother. Together, we are NOTORIOUS fans of any and all zombie movies. However, I was almost instantly let down. From the opening shot with some unknown woman writing in her journal about a mysterious man who ruined the planet or somesuch, into the overly pretentious 11 minute opening credits....... OK, I digress.. but seriously, who cares about the radio stations still working and the 2 fat guys who drive around for a while mumbling. I don't have any idea what they were blathering on about and I somehow doubt it would have improved the scene much if I'd bothered to turn the volume up to a level which would have made the background music cause my ears to bleed. Wwhile I'm on the subject of music...it was there when it shouldn't have been and STOPPED the moment it needed to be there.. music while talking and none during 'action'. I absolutely despise when somebody reviews a movie that they did not even watch through, but *I* could not finish this movie.. for only the third time ever ( the first, being the pitiful remake of Rollerball, and second being that miserable piece of rancid feces, Freddy Got Fingered).

We got tired of all the non-stop "dialogue" and ended up fast forwarding in minor one-minute increments to see if it would ever end.. 30 minutes into the movie there was no sign of substance. So we took a five minute jump and were.... rewarded... with a blurry slow motion shot of people chewing on what appeared to be bloody eels, in a seriously unconvincing manner. The great John Romero did much much better with FRIED CHICKEN.. nothing bloody.. nothing weird....simple FRIED CHICKEN.

Another leap revealed something that seemed to approach an action scene but was lacking in background music (mentioned above) and we simply shut the "film" off. I went back later to try again... and still couldn't. Everyone's lines were forced, their every motion was filled with stagefright... or possibly too much drug usage. Seriously, the little kid looked high. For crying out loud guys, you should have at least watched your own film and realized that you BADLY needed to do another take. Heck, even other indie filmmakers have the intellect to know when they are making an unwatchable scene.

I'm not even going to be able to be polite here and say something re-assuring like "good first effort'.... these guys just don't have the talent to make movies. I'm aware they also have a history of attacking reviewers.. have at it, guys.. it won't change how simply awful this is. You're not "indie filmmakers" you're just a bunch of kids with a camera. This "film" is acceptable for an 8th grade show and tell session; nothing more.