R0wdy

I didn't really go into this with particularly high expectations, I just wanted to see more of Katherine Langford and Gustaf Skarsgård, but I'm still pretty damn disappointed that it fell down so hard.

I mean, it looks amazing, the visual feel of it is fantastic, but the lore fell apart pretty quickly - showing Nimue to initially be pretty powerful, to absolutely useless at defending her village and family (in a group fight sequence where the attackers were made to look like they had ADD or some similar attention-related problem) to almost badass again right at the end.

I'll probably keep watching a little longer, just to see how well the aforementioned actors acquit themselves

I'm on FB AND writing this review while this steaming pile plays in the background, only paying attention when Cole Sprouse sings. This is probably the worst episode yet, and that's saying something after the tripe that was last season.

The acting is terrible (aside from Steven Seagal's hair, which subs in for The Hoff's hair, which is probably hanging out with KITT), the dialogue is terrible, the action is terrible. However, throw it all together with whatever secret ingredient there is in this movie, and you have the perfect terrible cheesefest movie to laugh along with, and at.

You DEFINITELY need to go into this with a sense of humour, but it can be enjoyed, it's just so much fun!

The ONLY reason I gave this piece of "entertainment" 2 stars is because of Luke Goss and Cary-Hiroyuki Tagawa, one star each. Although they're both woefully misused. Tagawa would make an AMAZING Heihachi if the role was written properly, and given his work in Blade II and Hellboy II, Luke would also be an amazing addition to the cast of that same movie.

Sadly, this is NOT that movie. The ONLY connection this movie has to the Tekken games is the character names, and of course the title. Seriously, stay right away from this, just go watch Mortal Kombat again.

Better than the 2009 live-action Tekken, that is. Not that that's difficult, really, It's still atrocious though, and should ONLY be watched if you're a die-hard fan of one or more of the actors and you just HAVE to watch everything they make.