John Cho aufgeführt in der Rolle von...
Harold
- Harold Lee: It's because of assholes like you that we're even in this fucking place - fucking cowards!
- Terrorist #1: Well maybe if the people in your country stopped eating *doughnuts* and started realizing what their government is doing to the world, "assholes" like us wouldn't exist!
- Kumar Patel: Fuck you! Doughnuts are awesome!
- Kumar Patel: I've never had to suck a dick before.
- Harold Lee: Me neither.
- Kumar Patel: I bet it sucks dick!
- Neil Patrick Harris: Anyway, last day of shooting, I told her. I said... "T-Bird, we're gonna have to break up."
- Kumar Patel: Why did you do that?
- Neil Patrick Harris: I didn't think I could take on that kind of responsibility. It was such a big mistake.
- Kumar Patel: Why? I mean, with T-Bird gone, couldn't you have sex with whoever you wanted?
- Neil Patrick Harris: Let me be clear. There is nothing on the planet that I love more than a hot, new pussy.
- Kumar Patel: Sure.
- Neil Patrick Harris: Nothing. What does the P.H. Stands for in N.P.H?
- Harold Lee: Patrick Harris.
- Neil Patrick Harris: No, common mistake. Poon handler.
- Harold Lee: Yo, I'm not joining the mile high club with you!
- Kumar Patel: [pulling out weed from pants] What about the really high club?
- Harold Lee: Please, sir. This is all a big mistake.
- [referring to Kumar]
- Harold Lee: My idiot friend here brought marijuana on the plane.
- Ron Fox: Zip it, Hello Kitty! We know your operation's funded by drugs!
- Harold Lee: After all the shit we've been through, I don't... I don't know if we can trust our government anymore.
- George W. Bush: Trust the government? Heck, I'm in the government and I don't even trust it. You don't have to believe in your government to be a good American. You just have to believe in your country.
- Light-Skinned Black Security: [after Kumar walks through metal detector] Sir, I need you to step aside please. I need to search you.
- Kumar Patel: Did I beep?
- Light-Skinned Black Security: Oh no, you didn't beep. Just a random security check. If you can just step aside, please. Just over here.
- Kumar Patel: [stepping aside] Random, huh?
- Light-Skinned Black Security: Yeah.
- Kumar Patel: So this has nothing to do with my ethnicity?
- Harold Lee: Come on, just do what the guy says.
- Light-Skinned Black Security: Sir, it's our job as airport security to search for all possible weapons or illegal drugs.
- Kumar Patel: So just because of the color of my skin you assume that I have drugs on me? Are you a racist?
- Light-Skinned Black Security: Racist? Dude, I'm black!
- Harold Lee: He's black! He's not racist!
- Kumar Patel: [laughing] Please, dude. You're barely even brown. Compared to me, you look like Matthew Perry.
- Harold Lee: No...!
- Light-Skinned Black Security: Hey, who you callin' Matthew Perry, bitch?
- Kumar Patel: I'm calling you Matthew Perry, you Matthew Perry-looking bitch!
- Harold Lee: In less than eight hours we're gonna be in Amsterdam. This is nuts. This is nuts!
- Kumar Patel: I know, dude. It's gonna be exactly like Eurotrip only it's not going to suck. It's going to be awesome.
- Harold Lee: It's not not going to be awesome.
- Harold Lee: Can we have the right to make a phone call?
- Ron Fox: Oh, yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. You want rights now. You want freedoms. Right now. Is it time? Is it freedom o'clock?
- Kumar Patel: Harold Lee, I'd like to introduce you to an invention of mine.
- [holds up bong]
- Kumar Patel: Meet the smokeless bong.
- Harold Lee: You made this?
- Kumar Patel: You know I did. When you were slaving away at work, I was actually being a productive member of society.
- Kumar Patel: Are all the guards in Guantanamo Bay gay?
- Big Bob: Fuck no! There ain't nothing gay about getting your dick sucked! You're the ones that're gay for sucking my dick!
- Kumar Patel: What?
- Big Bob: In fact, it creeps me out just being around you fags! Alright, get down on your knees and open your mouths.
- Harold Lee: Why don't you kick our asses instead?
- Big Bob: GET ON YOUR FUCKING KNEES NOW!
- [they comply]
- Big Bob: Hope you boys like extra mayo.
- Kumar Patel: [at a KKK bonfire] You guys wanna hear something fucked up and awesome? I took a Korean guy's toothbrush and I rubbed it all over my dick!
- Harold Lee: [whispering to Kumar] You did that?
- [at the Klan bonfire]
- Harold Lee: I did knee an Indian guy in the balls.
- [uproarius laughter from the Klan]
- Archie: Send those Indians back to Africa.
- Kumar Patel: What's up with this party?
- Raza: What do you mean?
- Harold Lee: There's exposed vagina all over your house.
- Raza: Oh, yeah, that was my idea. I don't know about you guys - I'm sick of all the hype over topless.
- Harold Lee: Really? I always liked topless.
- Raza: Yeah, well I'm starting the bottomless trend! Hence the bottomless party.
- Kumar Patel: This car is frickin' sweet!
- Harold Lee: Oh yeah! Yeah, it's sweet! 'Cuz we're fugitives. Driving a yellow convertible with the top down, dressed like assholes!
- Big Bob: I'm Big Bob. You boys ready for your cockmeat sandwich?
- Harold Lee: Uh, no.
- Big Bob: Well you better get hungry real fast... because I've got a whole lotta sandwich waiting for you!
- [first lines]
- Kumar Patel: [taking a dump] Oh God, dude!
- Harold Lee: [in shower] What the fuck? What the fuck? What are you doing?
- Kumar Patel: I'm taking the most incredible dump of all time, man.
- Harold Lee: You couldn't wait until I got out of the shower?
- Kumar Patel: Um, may I remind you that we both just ate 30 burgers and 4 large orders of fries?
- [continues to take a dump]
- Kumar Patel: Don't worry, in a little bit I'm sure it'll hit you too.
- Harold Lee: Maybe, but I'm going to wait until you get out of the shower!
- Kumar Patel: Well don't wait too long. We gotta leave for the airport in an hour.
- Harold Lee: An hour?
- Kumar Patel: Uh-huh. Oh, hey, Roldy?
- Harold Lee: Yeah?
- Kumar Patel: Nice pubes.
- Harold Lee: Why does everything has to be a huge argument with you, man?
- Kumar Patel: Because this is America, dude, and as long as I have my freedom of speech no one's going to shut me up.