Leslie Mann en el papel de...
Ursula Stanhope
- Ursula Stanhope: And you can watch TV, and eat, and relax, and I'll be back as soon as I can. Just stay here.
- Narrator: Stay here? George is king of the jungle. No four walls built by modern man can contain him
- George: Not true. George have every intention of doing exactly what Ursula say.
- Narrator: Really? Is that so?
- George: For a while.
- [grins]
- George: Dog eat dog? Dog eat dog here?
- Ursula Stanhope: No, that's not what I meant.
- George: George never bringing Shep here. Uh uh. Never.
- Ursula Stanhope: [on George] Did you just say "love"?
- Beatrice Stanhope: [alarmed] No...
- Ursula Stanhope: You did. You're right...
- Beatrice Stanhope: Ursula... Don't say it...
- Ursula Stanhope: I love him! I'm out of here.
- Beatrice Stanhope: Ursula! You can't love him! Arthur, say something!
- Arthur Stanhope: Be careful out there, honey.
- Beatrice Stanhope: [shouts] What?
- Ursula Stanhope: Goodbye, Daddy.
- [kisses him, then runs out of the room]
- Beatrice Stanhope: Ursula, come back! Arthur, do something!
- Arthur Stanhope: What would you have me do? There's obviously no stopping her.
- Beatrice Stanhope: Oh, God!
- [she downs the rest of her drink, then goes running after Ursula]
- Beatrice Stanhope: [shouts] Ursula!
- Arthur Stanhope: [under his breath] God, that woman's a pain in the a - .
- Narrator: Well, Ursula's fiancè is in prison, and there's a jungle man sleeping on her balcony. She could use a best friend right now.
- Betsy: Hi.
- Ursula Stanhope: Hi.
- Betsy: I got here as fast as I could. Where is he?
- Ursula Stanhope: Oh, he's in the waterf... he's in the shower.
- Betsy: Not anymore.
- Ursula Stanhope: Oh! George.
- [sees him naked]
- George: Bad waterfall. First water get hot, then George slip on this strange yellow rock.
- [sees Betsy]
- George: Oh. Hi, George of Jungle.
- Betsy: Charmed, I'm sure.
- Ursula Stanhope: George, hold this big book.
- [he holds book covering his front part]
- Ursula Stanhope: Cover the booty.
- [puts bowl on behind]
- Ursula Stanhope: Let's get you some clothes. Sorry, Betsy.
- George: Bye.
- Betsy: No problem.
- [to herself]
- Betsy: Now I can see why they made him king of the jungle.
- [Ursula screams at the sight of Ape]
- George: No, no! It's all right! Ape friend! Ape make your breakfast!
- Ursula Stanhope: [panicky] What does it want? What does it want?
- Ape: "It" wants "its" Physician's Desk Reference, if you don't mind. Unless you'd rather die of dengue fever, of course.
- Ursula Stanhope: [laughing hysterically] That is very funny!
- Ape: [sarcastic] Ha, ha, ha...
- Ursula Stanhope: I thought I heard the monkey talk!
- Narrator: The young Miss Stanhope proceed to spill the beans.
- Ursula Stanhope: So, anyway, I went to the jungle.
- Narrator: Very quickly.
- Ursula Stanhope: [her dialogue speeds up] You know, I wanted to get away before I got married, and then Lyle shows up. And nobody got along with Lyle; he was a big pain in the ass. And, anyway, so, he went off to the jungle by himself, and I'm sure I had to follow him. And a jungle man comes swinging in on a vine. Just swinging through, and he - the way he hit something. I don't know what happened, and the next thing I know is, Ii wake up...
- Narrator: Until she got to the important part at the end.
- Ursula Stanhope: [her speech goes back to normal] ... and the Lyle shot him. So Lyle's in jail and George is with me... and I don't want to marry Lyle anymore.
- George: That close one, huh?
- [grins]
- Ursula Stanhope: Watch out for that tree!
- [George looks up and Ursula's head hits branch, knocking her out]
- George: Oops.
- Ursula Stanhope: So I'll tell my dad first thing in the morning.
- Betsy: Make that second thing. First thing, I suggest you buy jungle man some clothes.
- [George is wearing a dress]
- George: Nice butt flap.
- George: [on Ursula's apartment balcony] This very high treehouse.
- Ursula Stanhope: Mmm-hmm.
- George: Good place to call friends from, sound carry.
- Ursula Stanhope: Oh, no...
- [George lets out jungle call]
- Ursula Stanhope: ...the neighbors.
- [as Thor aims his rifle at Shep, Ape roars and jumps out of the treehouse, landing the ground]
- Ape: Run, Shep! Run for your life!
- Max: Did that monkey just speak?
- Thor: That monkey just spoke!
- Ursula Stanhope: I *knew* it!
- Lyle Van de Groot: He *talked*!
- Max: [to Thor] Shoot it now.
- Ape: [turns and notices Max and Thor] Hmm?
- Max: [lowers Thor's rifle] With the tranquilizer gun, you idiot! The ape's worth a fortune!
- George: *No*!
- [runs towards Ape]
- Lyle Van de Groot: [aims his handgun at George] Stop or I'll shoot!
- [shoots George in slow motion]
- Ape: No!
- Lyle Van de Groot: No!
- Ursula Stanhope: George!
- [fade to white]
- Narrator: Whoo! OK, kids, let's settle down and review the important information. Lyle is a big doofus. Poor George was really shot, but can't die because, let's face it, he's the hero.
- [after returning from Africa, Ursula phones her mother from a limousine]
- Ursula's mother: You're sure you did not catch dengue fever?
- Ursula Stanhope: No mother, I did not catch dengue fever.
- Ursula's mother: Well, how's your temperature?
- Ursula Stanhope: [puts a hand to her forehead] Normal.
- Ursula's mother: Color of your tongue?
- Ursula Stanhope: [checks it in the mirror] Pink.
- Ursula's mother: What about your, uh, mmm-mmm?
- Ursula Stanhope: [annoyed] Regular!
- Narrator: Meanwhile, at a very big and expensive waterfall set, Ursula was amazed that she was lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.
- Ursula Stanhope: ...and here I am lost in the wilderness with a jungle man.
- Ursula Stanhope: [going crazy] Why wouldn't an ape read textbooks and why wouldn't I find myself in a treehouse with room service and a Tarzan wannabe wearing a... What do you call that thing?
- George: Buttflap.
- Ursula Stanhope: [while looking at George's necklace] Did you fight a crocodile for this?
- George: Oh, no. George not fight. Crocodile have toothache. George pull tooth. Crocodile give to George after. Gift. Good juju.
- Ursula Stanhope: Juju?
- George: Good luck. Protection.
- Ursula Stanhope: [pulling gold ring with pink heart shaped stone off her finger] I have something like that,too. Wanna see?
- George: Mm-hmm
- Ursula Stanhope: It's not worth anything. I found it in a cereal box when I was ten. It's my good luck. My juju. Can I...
- [Ursula puts the ring on George's necklace with his crocodile tooth]
- Ursula Stanhope: I want you to have that.
- George: For George? It's the nicest present George ever get. Thank you.