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Unlike the original "Spy Kids" (2001), this movie was written solely for children ... very stupid children. If I were 6, I'd find this movie insulting to my intelligence. I was surprised that Robert Rodriguez had written such a vapid pile.

As what is trying to pass for a "story" opens, Juni (Daryl Sabara) has been off on his own for a while after feeling betrayed by the OSS. When he enters the game world to save his sister, one wonders how the heck he ever survived! He's completely helpless and useless! He gets nothing done unless someone steps in and grabs him by the hand. He doesn't affect anything in the story. Everything happens TOO him, not BECAUSE of him. The story is made up of one heavy-handed cliche after another. If you want to be entertained during the film, try and figure out how many movies in which you've heard all the cliched lines the characters seem to vomit forth with bulimic regularity. Believe me, they're ALL in there! The hackneyed script did nothing but accentuate the horrendous acting. Where the original "Spy Kids" proved, through their actions, that the family unit is important, this dreck pays it only lip service ad nauseam, so much so in fact, it makes one wonder if the Menendez brothers didn't have the right idea!

Oddly enough, that's not the worst of it. 3-D technology has advanced impressively over the years as showcased in "Captain EO", "It's Tough To Be A Bug", "T-Rex: Back to the Cretaceous" and "Ghosts of the Abyss". Apparently, no one told Mr. Rodriguez. His 3-D technique dates back to 1922 when it was first used! If he had heard of the advancements in the medium, the audience could have enjoyed the various primary colors that were used in the costumes and in the scenery not to mention that fact that it would actually have looked three dimensional. At best, the 3-D portions of the film were a muddy mess. Needless to say, I had to remove my glasses after some time - the movie itself was annoying enough.

If you have the choice to see this movie or have extensive and painful oral surgery, visit the dentist - at least he'll give you a lollipop for your pain.

Every great adventure story worth telling has a solid hero - someone who puts others before themselves and uses their talents to do their best at keeping the forces of evil at bay even if it means the loss of life and limb. At its core, this movie has eight such heroes and each one lives up to the call. From Pippin and Merry, the lost hobbits who aid the Ents in battle, to Gandalf, Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas who held back the hordes at Helms Deep to Frodo and Samwise who continue to make their dangerous and arduous trek to Mount Doom. All of these characters are heroes and they're played with love, respect and meaning.

Though the acting in this film was top notch throughout, I found myself amazed by Gollum's (motion captured body and voice by Andy Serkis) overall performance. Though obviously CGI, there was so much emotion in this character that I couldn't help believe he was real! Though "Final Fantasy" was the only movie that created the most realistic CGI characters that dominated an entire film, Gollum is lightyears ahead with the simple fact that this deformed li'l hobbit seemed human. He had the spark of life behind those eyes that the FF "cast" lacked.

As a film, this movie has it all - action, drama, comedy - but none of it would've worked without characters we cared about, villains we despised and heroes we cheered for. With the obvious success of the first two installments, the release of the final film next December may prove this to be THE BEST trilogy ever made!