Breuse Sans Piete

I love Dr. Who, the old BBC sci fi tv series. But when Fox announced they were making a tv movie of it, I was apprehensive. Americans don't generally appreciate British tastes. But, I loved the show, so I held out hope. When the movie aired, it was awful. Hideous. The only redeeming part being that it had Sylvester Mccoy in it.

What's the point? The X-Files movie is awful. It's a complete disaster. I was a fan of the series and when I saw the movie I gave up on the show. I watched 3 or 4 years for *that*?? The government is working with the aliens, because they'd wipe us out if they didn't? Huh? I don't even care if I'm getting the plot wrong. That's the whole point.

Whatever. Talk about your serious letdowns. I think it's obvious that Cris Carter has no creative energies left. Millennium tanked. Harsh Realm lasted what, 15 minutes of its first showing?

This movie is just a bunch of different episodes patched together. We get the informant that gets killed. Ooh! Shocking! That's never happened on the show before! We get Mulder and Scully reassigned. Gasp! Scully gets kidnapped! Holy god! How original!

I've joked to other friends about this. Mulder should call the guinness book of world records people. Scully obviously has to have the record for most times being kidnapped.

Another problem, and this is one I have with the tv series too. Why do they keep referring to each other by name, even when they're alone? If someone did that to me, I would be very worried. But then all of Hollywood has nameitis. How many times was the name Jack spoken out loud in Titanic? Enough already! Give us some credit for remembering characters names the first time they're mentioned.

This movie is awful. Just horrible. The only people I can see liking it are people who bought into the hype, or were uberfans of the show to begin with. I was able to analyze the Dr. Who movie separately from my appreciation of the series. Why can't the same people who liked this movie?

This movie is on right now in the other room. The fact that I'm in here writing a review for it should tell how much I like it. I had the misfortune to rent this movie rather than catch it on cable, so not only did it suckle, it cost me more money while suckling. This movie has the absolute worst dialogue I've ever listened to. How could James Woods keep a straight face while saying it? I suppose with the same fortitude he used to accept the role to begin with. James, obviously your career is on the downside, but please. Some of us have fond memories of your performances. If this is the best you can do, go out gracefully, or get a sitcom. Daniel Baldwin... I wish my brothers were famous and influential and could get me work too. I think Sheryl Lee's legs and cleavage have deluded the rest of these reviewers into thinking she acted well. Memo to screenwriters: there is no convincing way to portray a woman under a vampire's telepathic control. See Ryder, Winona: Bram Stoker's Dracula. Let's drop that little gimmick, yes? Surprisingly, the only thing I liked about this movie was Thomas Ian Griffith. He *DEFINITELY* had the master vampire look going. Too bad he had to open his mouth, speak, and ruin the effect. How idiotic a method to kill vampires. Harpooning them and dragging them into the sunlight. If the turncoat priest warned the master about the attack in the beginning, why wouldn't the master have moved the nest? wouldn't that be easier than having to go out and get more vampires, and risking the possible death of the master, however unlikely?

wait..

that would be logical.

here's hoping John Carpenter is abducted by Vulcans and forced to be their concubine before he makes another movie.

Oh wait, wrong movie. He's not needed here tho. This is an above average movie. Joan Severance should be a much bigger star than she is. Why isn't she? She's completely gorgeous and can act. This movie has a few surprises here and there. Nothing mindblowing or completely out of the blue. But definitely worth watching the next time it comes on cinemax.