Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 5/5

The movie is so cretinous it pretty much mocks itself, the rest is just a formality. Possibly the only film ever made in which a murdered character re-appears without any explanation whatsoever. Does this constitute disastrous continuity or a lack of continuity? A question for filmic philosophers and semantics experts to answer.

There is only one aspect of the movie that isn't Z-grade level: the space battle scenes, all of which were lifted/borrowed from "Battlestar Galactica". It surprised me that there was no mention of this in the commentary; stranger still, they even made fun of these very solid special-effects as "lame".

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

If you watch the movie you will learn of ATCHKA. That's a promise.

Consistently funny riffing, especially during the end-credits when the trio discuss what sorts of things they'd learned from the movie.

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

Not formally an MST3K episode, it was done during the very short-lived FILM CREW series, which came several years after MST3K, and just before Rifftrax was started. FILM CREW ended before it could even properly begin, due to legal reasons. There are only 3-4 movies made for this series, with the same trio as the Nelson era i.e. the same three guys that are on most Rifftrax episodes. With the difference that this one has only Mike and Bill.

Excellent riffing makes this obscure episode a must. Especially the first 10-20 minutes are almost non-stop laugh-out-loud. The movie itself provides plenty of cheese, but prevalently during the second half. The first half tends to be more dry and dull in the stereotypical 50s B-movie vein.

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

The perpetual look of desperation on Joe Estevez's face: the result of realizing he's in an awful movie, or is it the result of the fear and insecurity of living up to a "great script"? I've seen this episode many times but could never figure this out.

Judging by the intelligence exhibited by his famous family members, it might just be the latter.

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 5/5

These are the kinds of bad B-movies I love the most. Thankfully, the guys are in top form so this is pretty much a perfect episode. Underground slave lizards have never been this much fun.

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

I'm surprised they were barely talked into riffing this splendid piece of cheesy nonsense. It is full of comedic potential which was exploited to the hilt, such as a pregnant male astronaut torn between his NASA buddies and a large alien parrot.

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 3/5

This episode also has the best short, "Progress Island, USA", which literally had me falling to the ground. One of the funniest things they'd ever done.

The Yuccoflattian beast is Tor Johnson, btw, and not even Ed Wood could eke out more cheese out of him than this.

TBOYF is one of the most chaotic movies in the series. Off-camera action and dialogue, random narration, almost non-existent plot, it not only has several Ed Wood alumni in it but it bears some resemblance to his own movies.

aka "Red Zone Cuba"

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

The greater the ambition, the bigger the fall - at least when it comes to dilettantes. Ed Wood cherished his "Plan 9" above all else, and I have a feeling that Coleman Francis loves this one the most; he certainly seems to be taking it very seriously - luckily for us.

Cuba and Castro like you've never seen them before. Useful insight though into why the U.S. failed at the Bay of Pigs: sending 6 amateur soldiers ain't gonna get the job done!

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

Considered a weak episode among MST3K fans, for whatever bizarre reasons. Perhaps they're annoyed Mary Jo Pehl got to do some riffing, no idea. She wasn't bad at all.

The costumes and make-up in this pathetic little kids flick are bargain-basement; the basement is infested with rats, i.e. the rat-poison is ineffective hence sold at a bargain.

TQOTDK toys with the Lea-Han-Luke type of "Star Wars" love-triangle shtick, and I'm surprised the team didn't pick up on this and comment on it.

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 5/5

It's astounding that some people consider this movie to be too good for an MST3K treatment. TIE melts with the highest quality American cheese, and is perfect for mocking.

aka "The Magic Voyage Of Sinbad"

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 5/5

It's a pity they didn't do more Russian films, only four. I love the fact that the hero fails, and then tries to make up some damn excuse.

Riffing: 5/5

Movie: 4/5

Never has a mere ring been such a powerful weapon - not even Tolkien's ring, and certainly no pineal ring. Then again, there never WAS such a thing as a pineal ring in any fiction before - because no B-movie or pulp novel was ever this stupid. (OK, so there are lot worse movies, but only the Z-category ones).

The Leech Woman, previously without any combat training, uses a pointy little ring to kill with such ease and efficiency, even Bruce Lee and Chuck Norris are red with envy.

TLW also features one huge plot-hole, and an enormously dumb plot-device. The plot hole: it is never explained WHY the 152 year-old black woman came into Niel's office. Judging from what transpired, I can only make the following deduction: she decided that she had to finally die, so she thought "oh, what the hell, before I trek to Africa I'll just go this guy's office, he keeps appearing in my dream so obviously I gotta lull him into his death somehow".

The plot-device: the Leach Woman regains her youth, suddenly becoming... startlingly average-looking, actually. Nevertheless, her nothing-special looks are enough to break off a couple's engagement and ruin their relationship within MINUTES. The young lawyer acts as if he'd seen the most ravishing woman in the history of mankind and proceeds to flirt with Leech Woman right in front of his fiancee's nose! Some of the best riffing revolves around these ridiculous scenes.

Every single character in this movie is a potential or actual murderer. This flick is so wonderfully retarded, it provides for ample ridicule.

aka "Hercules"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

One of MST3K's more pathetic movie heroes, dirt-awful special-effects, and an astoundingly dumb plot are the main culprits of fun in this bizarre Italian turkey. I don't know many movies in which a "good guy" throws people out of windows.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

Very funny gags, especially in the first half. A rather drawn out, formulaic, cheap horror film that is nevertheless head-and-shoulders above most MST3K-spoofed films. The movie benefits from its 70s charm; if it had been a 90s cheapie it would have been far less fun.

I didn't understand the "Moebius strip" reference. His comics aren't known for being "in a loop". If they were referring to him.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

Visually this ranks in the TOP 5 UGLIEST MST3K movies, so it's the clever riffing that provides the much-needed relief. Without it, this mega-bomb would be almost unwatchable despite its unbelievable badness. Possibly a TOP 5 WORST-EVER MST3K film. Not one iota of this movie even remotely suggests that a professional worked on it.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

I have rarely seen uglier make-up and phonier-looking beards as in this little travesty. Ernest Borg 9 appears here, in what must be the highlight of his career - if we were only to count the year 1996.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

Some of the riffing centered around the "astronauts" is absolutely hysterical. They all smoke, they're dressed like postmen, and they seem unimpressed with the fact that they're the first men to land on an alien world, disinterested even. They're far more interested in lighting up the next cigarette to wile away the boredom.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

A typically morose British 60s sci-fi, saved by the commentary. It's ironic that the Brits, so famed for their comedy, made such startlingly humourless and dull horror and science-fiction films back then.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

One of the weirdest MST3K movies. Colourful, daft, unpredictable. Another Russian gem.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

Martin Sheen's brother Joe Estevez is a clone of Martin's son Emilio. Either that, or Joe is his real father.

The Estevez gene needs to be studied further. This much we do know already, however: it is not necessarily an acting gene.

aka "It Lives By Night"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Westerns usually put me to sleep, so I was surprised how much they managed to squeeze out of this ultra-cliched crap. Visually nice, which was a bit of a surprise given that Corman puts no effort into any of his movies.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

Belongs in the TOP 3 MOST CHILDISH MST3K MOVIES. I believe it was made for very retarded 3 year-olds; the baby-bottle milk turns into cheese very rapidly. The hero keeps playing hide-and-seek with the chicken-faced aliens, and that's possibly one of the less silly things about the movie.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

A wuss-like astronaut gives a speech about "the good and the beautiful". It will leave you speech-less. He quickly gets killed (as punishment?) while the pompous lead survives a planet of tiny people and a very silly love-triangle.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

It is fascinating to consider that this movie was released just 9 years before Kubrick's "2001". There might as well be 2001 years between them. As stupid as anything made in the cheesy 50s/60s pulp sci-fi.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

They cut out some of the sex-scenes, this might even be R-rated. Incredibly dumb.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Pointless crime drama with ridiculous characters that treats a career in a seedy strip club as the height of glitz and glamour.

Male B tries to steal the female of Male A - yet the three continue on their travels as if nothing had happened.

aka "Secret Agent Super Dragon"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 5/5

Why this movie has "captive women" in the title I'll never know. Only one woman is captive, and she is rescued just 15 minutes into the movie - but the film has a whole bunch of captive men. Perhaps "Hercules And The Captive Men" might have sounded too... well, you know.

Hercules rescues the movie's only captive girl, he brings her back to her family - only for them to immediately try and kill her, in what must be one of the more legendary idiotic plot-twists in the show's rich history. Soon thereafter, the evil queen (the captive woman's angry Mom) tries to have pretty much everyone killed, and for reasons that are quite vague.

There is even ample mention of "Uranus", and if you thought that cheesy word-play has outlived its funniness - think again: "the blood of Uranus can never be destroyed!" This is not a riff, but an actual line from the movie. I couldn't believe I could still find "Uranus" funny.

And I promise you, you WILL laugh at the scene when Hercules throws a stuffed lion toy over a cliff only to have a vulture thrown back at him. Great episode.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Perhaps even Corman would have been too embarrassed to work with Lippert. You will drop your jaw when you see these "astronauts" and witness the things they say and do.

You know you're in trouble when your movie's lemur is bigger than all of your dinosaurs combined.

They came, they saw, they nuked the entire place. In the name of science.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

aka "Samson vs. the Vampire Women"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

The first ten minutes or so are quite unwatchable, as are other parts of this tedious garbage, but it does have its moments. The funniest riffing is centered around the old geezer.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

Abundant scenes of mountain-climbing would normally have you yawning like a walrus, but the riffing is at its best during these tedious bits.

aka "Escape 2000"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

The amazingly moronic premise: a mega-evil corporation (what else?) forcibly evacuates the entire population of Bronx to New Mexico (of all places), in order to start afresh by building new high-rise apartment buildings. In order to achieve this, the evil corporation send incompetent morons dressed in shiny gray suits to the Bronx, armed with flame-throwers with which they commit genocide, while the rest of New York remains blissfully unaware of the massacres. It really truly doesn't get any dumber than this.

This Italian stinker provides the ideal background for some great riffs, particularly during the action scenes of which there are a helluva lot.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

I would struggle to give you a summary of the movie's plot, simply because there is none. Literally no story here. But I will try... People fly jets and then talk. They fly some more, talk, then fly again.

aka "Swamp Diamonds"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

A hilariously awful Corman flick, which was perhaps laughed at by movie-goers in the 50s, but this turkey may have actually had a much more welcome response today - due to its absurd grrl-power premise. Everything about the female convicts is funny: their hair, how they flail around with their tiny fists, how they flirt with the male lead, how they bicker amongst each other, the petty jealousies, how much utter nonsense they say, how randomly violent they get, how stupidly they punch each other, how kill-happy they are...

But hey. Grrl-power. All of this hooey may have been forgiven in the year 2021, with all the hip young Hollywood actresses filling up these roles, in a new and big-budget version but with the exact same dialogue. Because: grrl-power. Because: no matter how daft the execution is, we must honour a movie because it does the "right thing" i.e. promote women as tough, no-nonsense chickas.

Stupidity runs rampant throughout the movie. Yes, there's the usual Corman padding, but SD isn't nearly as tedious and odorless as his many other stinkers. Starting from the fully unconvincing prison escape and throughout the cretinous swamp misadventures, SD is relentlessly retarded. Especially the acting and the dialogue - which is often edwoodian. Of course, the directing/editing can get comical too, for example during the alligator scenes.

Despite this being a Corman flick, I am genuinely surprised at the utter inanity of some of the nonsense that goes on. For example, the male lead who doesn't give a crap that his GF is being harassed by the girls, or the fact that one of the convicts literally throws herself at him in front of his girlfriend - yet he does nothing to stop her, doesn't feel even a tinge of embarrassment. This "male hero" later doesn't even react to his girl being smacked, and yet when she starts drowning he suddenly goes into Tarzan mode - but in a delayed sort of way, as if way too thick to realize what was going on hence needed a while to figure it out. Or the amazing speed with which he gets romantic with the undercover cop, just hours after his GF is killed. He just doesn't seem to give a crap. To make things worse simply from an aesthetic point of view, his GF is the cutest cast member, whereas his new love-interest, the cop, is an even homelier version of Jennifer Saunders - just a horrible choice for him to fall in love with, especially since the flirtatious blonde is decent-looking, plus there's Beverly Garland who is fairly cute-ish too.

A great scene too is when they finally find the diamonds (after several minutes of swamp-scenery padding) when the blonde sticks her hands into the diamonds box and starts throwing them around! Predictably, one of the girls starts a scuffle as a result, one of many such squabbles which are always funny. These girls are constantly aggressive, as if Corman was insecure about us believing that they were real convicts, so he just went for the overkill approach to convince us that yes, these girls are wicked and dangerous grrl-power chickas.

Absolutely hilarious are the action fight scenes between the characters in the finale. The choreography is as clumsy as any fight scene in Bride of the Monster.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

A hero of a post-apocalyptic world... who looks like Lars Ulrich from Metallica. WOTLW features perhaps THE most useless bad-guy army in the history of cinema. Forget Rambo gunning down thousands of fairly blind Vietnamese soldiers, these Orwellian Nazi types couldn't hit a target if it were tied to a chair in front of them. Donald Pleasance looks almost drugged while playing the exact same character from "You Only Live Twice".

"Mad Max" for the mentally-challenged.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

The obvious made-for-TVness of this movie literally screams at you from first to last frame. Has the look of a mediocre 80s Twilight Zone episode.

Raul Julia is supposed to be a highly intelligent computer programmer from a dystopian-dysmoronic future, but appears practically half-witted. The less said about his awful-looking love-interest, the better. The special-effects must have forced a few people involved in this turkey to hide for years - or delete this movie from their CVs.

aka "Sidehackers"

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

There are a number of hacks in MST3K's rich bad-guys history who overact their b***s off, but this one takes the cake; it's all about face-contortions for him. One of the stupidest tales of revenge you're ever likely to witness on a screen.

aka "Stranded In Space"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

An episode that has high repeat-viewing potential, for me at least. The riffing is good, it's from the 70s, and the plot isn't uninvolving as is the case with most other riffed films.

In fact, this isn't a horrible movie at all, just standard TV sci-fi fare. Compared to the majority of MST3K alumni, this is a masterpiece. The only thing that's laughable is the completely absurd premise of a twin Earth planet on the other side of the Sun, which just happens to have the same level of technological development, the same fashion, the same languages... Far-fetched doesn't even begin to describe it. Just picture the odds of such an occurrence ANYWHERE in the cosmos. Virtually nil.

Very attractive female lead certainly helps.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 3/5

This pointless oddity has a mood all-of-its-own. The sets are so depressing, shoddy, and dark, they would have been ideal for a "Henry: Portrait Of A Serial Killer" type of film, or "Texas Chainsaw Massacre Part 11"; I can just see Leatherface running around this house, hacking people to bits. Instead they chose to shoot a silly Satanic-cult flick with an extremely thin plot.

I can picture the director handing out Prozac during the filming, I really can.

A fan favourite.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 4/5

Unfortunately, this was "only" written by Ed Wood. His talents only fully come to the fray when he was director-writer-producer, just like his idol Orson Welles. Still, nothing with even a smidgen of wood in it should be missed.

Riffing: 4/5

Movie: 2/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Fortunately, the riffs aren't littered, infiltrated and ruined with Joel's left-wing drivel, so this ends up being a rather fun episode, centered around an ultra-low-budget stinker that can't even make up its mind what message it wants to convey, aside from the usual "nukes hurt!" and "war is bad" bits of wisdom.

Joel did preach a bit in the opening segments by describing the 50s as "paranoid". Sure, Joel, Americans were just IMAGINING the nuclear threat back then, just as I am hallucinating that cultural Marxism has taken over most of western media, turning half the population into mindless zombies.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 5/5

This Ed Wood anti-classic is perfectly entertaining on its own, so the riffing is just the icing on the cake. Worth just for seeing Bela Lugosi walk around in high platform shoes, not to mention the plethora of other nonsense such as a dumb leading man who's smaller than the damsel-in-distress. The scenes of Tor wrestling him and then the hero running around with a tattered shirt are unique. As always, Ed Wood outdoes himself with the dialogue, which I consider his biggest anti-talent.

Some people simply don't seem to understand that even with 10 million dollars Ed would have still made awfully dumb movies.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Check your crew's blood-pressure, and off they go into space! The only requirement for a 50s astronaut was that his blood was alright - so perhaps it's little wonder ANYBODY could be hired to fly into space.

The prototype of the dumb 50s B-movie sci-fi flick, complete with ALL of the cliches that come in such a package.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

The least scary movie monster of all time? Possibly. It is a carpet that moves extremely slowly - yet manages to kill quite a few very very slow-moving humans. Darwin would say it was natural selection: if you can't outrun a carpet, then biology probably doesn't like you.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

An apathetic, slow-moving, drowsy flick redeemed somewhat by the fact it was ejected out of some lame writer's derriere in the 70s, my favourite movie decade. The guys do their best to keep it interest with solid riffing but the movie gives so little. The Moon Beast is a boring bloody lizard and he makes an appearance very late into the flick.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 5/5

This movie really grows on you. I didn't think much of either the movie or the riffing, but I find both better on each additional viewing. The Canada jokes are probably best-appreciated by Americans though. You will not believe the wimpy teen they found for the starring role - or the goofy "executioners" chasing him around.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

The funniest bit is when Joel and the robots boo the movie's cop-out ending. One of the more tedious flicks, full of amazingly pointless, drawn-out dialogue that is literally about nothing; just imagine a bunch of Sociology professors on a lunch break. Considered by the team to be one of the very worst movies they'd done. Low-budget crap is one thing, but no-budget crap is a whole new level. Also no-plot and no-script crap. Nothing at all happens in this stinker.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 5/5

The highlight is an early "battle" between the clumsy aliens and the skinny hero, that looks like a badly choreographed dance number. It's a B&W Japanese flick so expect to be charmed and bewildered.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Considering the average badness of MST3K films, this is almost "A Clockwork Orange" by comparison. One of the least-worst MST3Kified flicks, but by no means good in any way. It's a 60s UK horror flick, and they're very rarely any good.

aka "Parts: The Clonus Horror"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

Witness an actress without a nose, and other awful-looking cast-members - perhaps cloning is to blame, I don't know. As dumb as it is, TCH is "Star Wars" next to "Future War".

And I don't mean JJ Abrams's bastardized version of "Star Wars", of course.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

How to stretch a wafer-thin plot into a feature-film? This is how. This is how to do it and not get away with it.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Featuring cinema's only secret agent uglier than the current James Bond, that blond guy with no hair.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

For fans of "Mitchell", a must.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Ed Wood's take on the porn industry. A must-see. You will never see a more cute take on the porn scene. Funnily enough, Ed Wood did actual porn later on.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Hire a huge guy to scare the kiddies with - and then let him talk in an affected manner that totally neutralizes his appearance. Whoever told (or allowed) Richard Kiel to talk this way is an utter fool.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

A fairly dim-witted college professor (listen to how he retorts to a bunch of rednecks mocking him) wears very small, tight shorts, and doesn't even try to have sex with either of the college girls he brings along for a picnic. He does however look for Big Foot.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 1/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Embarrassingly awful stinker about a bunch of “vicious fops” as the MST3K cast hilariously calls these pseudo-post-apocalyptic ninnies. That's exactly what they are, literally: wussies dressed as clowns, playing tough, but the way a 5 year-old would pretend to be tough. One of the least convincing post-apocalyptic gangs ever.

The movie's humour is extreme cringe, beyond childish, and the amateur dialogue is fifth-rate. In a way this is worse than 50s monster flicks because movies had more of an excuse to suck back then. Also, there are several familiar faces here, which begs the question why and how a halfway established actor could possibly agree to be in such trash - which couldn't have paid much and was clearly going nowhere. Anybody who read this script yet failed to notice how bad it was has to be a moron.

Kim Catrall has a topless scene which of course isn't included in the show's version.

One Serbo-Croatian reference early on, in the riffing. The action scenes are beyond ridiculous, very badly directed, and CL features some of the dumbest costumes ever put on screen. The plot is muddled, and whatever little is understandable is utterly dumb. A society of mindless 20somethings are so well groomed and fed that they have nothing better to do than worship comic books and stage fights based on them to kill each other. And then the stereotypical "evil corporation" shows up, wanting to stop all that fun! The movie actually sides with the kids, because somehow the corporation is evil for trying to restore order to the cities.

One of the movie's horrible actors wrote this script, and that's the only thing that makes sense.

aka "Gamera vs. Zigra"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Colourful, fun Japanese kitsch.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Easily the winner of the WORST MST3K SOUNDTRACK. In fact, this swinging-60s space western might just have the worst soundtrack of any movie from that decade. The obnoxious jazz trumpets will have your head spinning quicker than the dumbest plot-twist in "The Butterfly Effect". Suitably, the best riffs center around the amazingly awful, un-space-like music which must be played by a free-jazz band working at the very lowest level of Gahannah, under strict orders from Satan himself to compose only the purest of garbage.

The commentary is surprisingly good, given that this is a Season 1 episode. The movie itself would have been a LOT less bad if a proper soundtrack had been applied to it.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Believe it or not, the short guy who becomes a Ninja in just a few days went on to direct many episodes of "The Sopranos". Perhaps anybody CAN direct, after all?

aka "Being from Another Planet"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

A college professor has an affair with a blond student while trying to prevent all of the Mummy's corpse being stolen by various kids. About 0.1% of this movie consists of action scenes.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

aka "Time Chasers"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Spiders spread terror in a small community when they start walking all over postcards. Classic Z-movie stuff.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

This episode is almost ruined by the constant repetition of an obscure "McCloud!" gag. Often less is more, the guys should have known that. Still, a lot of the other riffs are quite good, and the movie has a unique badness.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Even though it's not some obscure $5 movie made by unemployed film-makers but is part of a TV series, the first episode has one of the dumbest plot-lines in MST3K history. And one of the most, how shall we say, unappealing leading actresses in the history of cinema. The strong left-wing slant of MN2 only makes this episode even more fun - the whole worker's union subplot is a hoot. In this world, unions are run by selfless, noble idealists whereas the management functions much like the triads - complete with their own ninjas! I did tell you this was one of the dumbest things ever made.

Van Patten's kid is as strong an argument against nepotism as any. He is sort of like the original James Caan kid: very short, baby-faced, with a large head, and of course no talent.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Compared to other such flicks of the era, there is a surprising amount of real science. Of course, it's all very relative coz any movie can have more science than a typical 50s flick. But just as you thought the movie might be slightly less moronic than the standard fare, you get the movie's equivalent of NASA - the often ridiculed SPACOM - telling the stranded Moon couple to marry, because living together - even on the Moon - even for a week was unacceptable in the 50s. Nevermind the oxygen, or the food supplies - we gotta get those two a ring! The movie drags a bit at the outset, with the usual wooden figurines belting out stilted dialog, but eventually the cheese starts to melt, and the riffing is very solid.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

A solid episode, very popular for its redneck jokes. Unfortunately, redneck jokes don't do it for me that often, probably because they're too easy and obvious.

Typical moronic Hollywood film, portraying a small-town Southern sheriff as a psychopath...

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

I've seen this Coleman Francis episode several times, and still haven't discerned a comprehensible plot. Not quite as fun as the other three CF flicks but quite solid.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

The title promises - and it delivers: crap. Roger Corman possibly at the height of his creative power.

aka "Outlaw" or "Outlaw Of Gor"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

The smelly hands of dilettantes can be found all over this amazingly inept Z-movie, starting from the moronic plot-twists, moronic characters, and moronic costumes all the way to action sequences so badly choreographed they might rank this turkey in the TOP 5 MOST AWFUL MST3K FIGHT SCENES.

The Evil Bitch Queen - or "bitch in heat" as Jack Palance calls her - is such a bad mastermind coup-maker that one has to wonder just how stupid her kingdom's subjects must be to let her get away with it all. She kills two key figures (old geezers) in her kingdom in one day - the second one in front of a dozen witnesses - and then actually stabs Palance, out of the blue, in the gut in front of the ENTIRE populace. So dumb it really has to be seen to be believed. Just minutes later, her "cold-blooded" Bobba-Fett-like mercenary turns on her - for no reason at all - and kills her from a distance with a spear. He then looks on with the face of a man much bewildered. Not as confused as the viewers though.

The riffs are solid, some big laughs, including a real drubbing of Palance who looks positively stupid and embarrassed in his goofy clown costume. Bored, too. His character has nothing to do in the first hour but walk around like a piece of furniture on legs.

aka "Gamera"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

The riffs that focus on the boy's twisted love for the mass-murdering turtle are the best.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

One of the least awful movies the team had ever riffed. Nevertheless, they treat it with so much disdain it ends up being fun.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

Not to be missed: the milk-throwing scene.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

Starts off with very good riffing, but peters off for quite a while until the ridiculous, entertaining finale.

aka "Cave Dwellers"

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 3/5

The riffing is fairly good for this era, there isn't much childish riffery. The film itself is fun during the dumb monster scenes but tends to be otherwise boring.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 4/5

Some pretty awful acting (the black guy seems almost BORED while he's being attacked by Fishguy), endless padded scenes, bizarre narration that kind of peters out without explanation, vapid and boring dialog, and a plot as thin as a Zambian ice-sheet: monster shows up, monster kills human. Repeat over and over. Visually the movie has a nice 70s feel to it, but that's its only good side, and it was hardly intentional. Especially dumb is the last third when it's not so much a case of *beep* hitting the fan as it's dumb *beep* hitting the movie fan.

Riffing: 3/5

Movie: 2/5

Riffing: 2/5

Movie: 5/5

I have seen this movie a dozen times. And that's WITHOUT the riffing. Unfortunately, they mocked this wonderful anti-classic during the 1st season which is the worst season by far. There are some good laughs, but far too few, especially for something as ultra-cheesy as this amazing piece of crap.