"What some guys won't do for a laugh!"

"A lie is the same as the truth if the result is alright."

"And I thought this was going to be an 'A' picture!"

"I take the family skeletons out of the closet and dust them off!"

"Say, what do you operate on, alternating current?"

How can a desert dream like you go for a drip like this?

Well corn my pone and chit my chittlins...

Yeah, go back to your cabin and shoot yourself, that way nobody'll get hurt.

Out of my way, I'm a Harvard man!

"Mainmast? I wouldn't know the mainmast if it fell on me!"

Oh Jeepers, I'm cursed. A woman finds out I've got twenty million dollars and bad health she falls in love with me.

You see, I wanted to be a detective too. It only took brains, courage and a gun, and I had the gun.

You're in Africa now. Strange things happen here.

You only learned to count to seven so you could keep track of us.

Serves us right for getting' mixed up with a dame.

If I were a chicken bone I could make a wish.

We're starting from scratch. You're a duchess without dough, and I'm a millionaire without a mill.

How often do you have to wind him up?

In Sweden, we are very tolerant of nature.

If I saw this on television I'd never believe it!

Look, don't fool with the fun flute unless you check with the master.

Hold it. Don't anybody make a move or I'll blow my brains out.

Are you sure you're not a maniac?

I don't know what I've got, but I'm about to share it.

If I saw this in pictures I wouldn't believe it!

Well I'm gonna write me a play and nobody's gonna stop me.

"Right now, I'm working on a lipstick that makes a woman's lips taste like an orange."

"I can feel the love bouncing off the walls."

"People wonder why I answer when Africa calls."

"Even McCarthy wouldn't believe this."