It took more than one man to change my name to Shanghai Lil.

A THRILLER of the ROARING RAILS In Twelve Crashing Episodes!

But now I'm going to show you what happens to people who ride on my train without a ticket

If anyone tries to cross that river before we're out of sight- baptize 'em.

Do you hear that whistle comin' down the line?

Mr. Ratchett, I have made enough money to satisfy both my needs and my caprices. I take only such cases now as interest me, and to be frank, my interest in your case is, uh... dwindling

We're ready to make a deal. You have her, we want her, how much? It's as simple as that.

Clang, clang, clang went the trolley

He'll be waiting for us ... at end of track

This land is your land, this land is my land, this land is our land....

You just look like a guy who'd have a name like Izzard

Now, before we begin I want you all to remember one thing. No matter what I may say... no matter what I may do on this stage during our work... I love you all.

Somewhere among the strange human cargo on this death express... Is a murderer!

Story of my life. I always get the fuzzy end of the lollipop.

I bought a copy of Mein Kampf. Occurred to me it might shed a spot of light on all this... how d'ye do. Ever read it?

George, his friends call him Geo. He's got this kinda eighties skateboard thing going on... he makes it work, but it's not gonna look too good in his casket

By plane, by train, by the edge of your seat, it's the most hilarious suspense ride of your life!

Did you discover anything, Watson?

I ain't aimin' to do nuthin'. I'm doin' it. I'm holdin' up this train

The Ale and Quail Club get a bit drunk and decide to shoot up their train car

Bertha Loved Lovin'...But There Was More Money in ROBBIN' TRAINS!

Handcuffed to the girl who double-crossed him

Lt William Calhoun, head of the police squad at Union Station, finds himself trying to solve a kidnapping when the criminals decide to use the train station as the drop-off point for the money.

Death rode the rails to Breakheart Pass

It carried their hopes, their nation's honour!

Casey Jones comes through again.

Butch and Sundance decide that robbing banks, that don't move, is easier than robbing trains, that do move.

Love, Locomotives and Laughs

A rich Texan, J.W. Grant, selects three men and invites them to his private train to offer them a contract:

Never have so few taken so much from so many.

Greed has its price.

Spies! Playing the game of love - and sudden death!

I did one for you, now you do one for me.

The thing about trains... it doesn't matter where they're going. What matters is deciding to get on.

It's the same train, but it's different.